Judah Ben-Irk

Zim and Jes get sucked into the movie Ben-Hur! Will Zim or Dib win? Will the Romans finally DESTROY Judea?? Ok... these questions AREN'T answered in this story... but it's still gonna be funny. Dedicated to Mr. Herry, even though he doesn't know what IZ is. ROW WELL AND LIVE!! :D

"Yo-yo'z, Zim!" Rebecca/Jes called to me excitedly as she ran towards me on the sidewalk. It was rather unusual behavior... even for a half-human. I deduced she must have some news... or something. I never understood Earthlings!

"Hi, Rebecca." I replied somewhat more sanely.

She caught up with me. "Guess what?" she inquired.

I sighed. This would no doubt lead to something I barely cared about. "What?" I said reluctantly.

"I just got Ben-Hur on DVD!" She held up a small, flat case with the words "BEN-HUR" on the cover.

"What in the name of Irk is Ben-Hur?" I shouldn't have asked.

"It's a movie about ancient Israel and Rome!"

"Ancient what and what?" At this point, however, I barely cared.

"Ugh..." Rebecca "ughe'd". "Do I HAVE to give you a history lesson?"

"I'd rather you not!" I told her.

"Do you seriously not know where Israel and Rome are?"

"No... I do." I replied honestly. I often surprise myself – and not in the good way – with how much I actually know about Earth at this point.

"Well," Rebecca compromised, "I know you probably don't care, so you don't have to watch it. Frankly, though, it would give you a lot of information about Earth... strengths... weaknesses..."

It was irresistible. "When??!" I practically shouted. (Of course, I do that a lot...)

"Tonight." Rebecca answered. "We can go to your place or my place."

"In the comfort of my own base sounds good to me." I suggested.

"Sweet!" She said, sealing the deal. "See you then!"

"WAIT!!" I called after her as she began to run away. She stopped on one foot. "What time, idiot??"

"Oh, yeah." Rebecca realized. I sighed again. "Seven, I guess. Bye!"

"Bye..." I replied. "Ugh; humans."

The doorbell rang. I got up off the couch and threw on my disguise, although I was almost sure it was just Rebecca. I walked up and opened the door. There she was, DVD and all.

"Hello." She greeted me happily. I didn't bother to emulate her radiant attitude. I simply said "So, want to start the DVD player?"

"Sure." She told me, then walked over to the couch, where an array of remote controls were piled. "Uh... which one..." Rebecca began as she picked up a remote and pressed a random button.

"WAIT!!" I yelled in vain as a picture came up on the television of Tallest Red with a sleep mask on, evidently not conscious at the moment.

"Whu –" Rebecca began loudly.

"Ssh!" I hushed her. "Sleeping Tallest?"


I ripped the remote out of her hands and switched off the live web cam.

"Heheh..." Rebecca giggled nervously. "Sorry about that."

"That's ok..." I said half-heartedly. I didn't understand why I was always so quick to forgive my ditzy human friends. [Author's note: Yes, we think Zim's naive and he thinks we're naive. It's a two-way street.] "Just pick up the silver remote and press the power button."

Rebecca did as I said and a blue background with the word "SONY" appeared on the TV. "There we go." she said, relieved. She then proceeded to open the tray on the DVD player and set the disc in. After waiting a brief moment for the DVD to load, Rebecca sat on the couch, grabbed the remote and watched the main menu come up. I sat down next to her.

"BEN-HUR" the menu said, just as the case did. How obvious. "What does that even mean?" I asked Rebecca.

"It's the main character's last name." She explained. 'Judah Ben-Hur.' Ben is Hebrew for 'of', so he's Judah of Hur."

"Well, yeah!" I replied jokingly. "It'd be pretty odd if he was Judah of Him!"

We laughed for a moment, followed by an awkward silence. "So..." said Rebecca. "Movie time?"

"Movie time." I agreed. She pressed the play button.

The first few minutes of the movie were mostly introductions. The next ten minutes were rather boring. The ten minutes after that were downright tedious... well, to me. Rebecca appeared to be enjoying it, and she'd seen it before. She was so absorbed in the movie... she wouldn't notice if I just closed my eyes for a few minutes, would she?

"Just closed my eyes"... wishful thinking on my part. I was almost immediately asleep.