Story Title: Like Moths to Flame
Vamp or Human: Human
Author's Note: A lot of this one-shot was inspired by I Want You (She's So Heavy) by the Beatles. Go listen to it, now. In fact, put it on repeat for this story. www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=Ne6ZZTfiQAw More below. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any other recognizable characters or music.
Divorce. It was such an ugly word. Or perhaps it was just the freshness of the feelings that word evoked in me. Either way, divorce was the reason I was moving back to my hometown.
Forks wasn't such a bad place to lick my wounds and mourn the demise of my once happy marriage. The dreary wetness that would envelope me nearly every day suited my mood down to the ground.
I felt like a total and complete failure. Here I was, 23 years old and divorced. I hadn't even managed to make it to my five year anniversary. Now, as if I really needed salt on the wound, I was moving back in with my father. Exactly what every girl dreams of doing.
Even with all of these negative feelings, I still couldn't find it in me to hate Jake. Sure I as angry, and hurt beyond words, but I found it hard to blame him. The flare our relationship had at the beginning had dimmed, considerably. I had expected it to mellow into the warm glow of love. Instead it had settled into an awkward friendship.
Suddenly, I had felt like I was kissing and sleeping with my brother. The creepiness of that had been nearly too much for me to handle. I had started getting 'headaches' and 'working late' in order to avoid the weirdness my life had become. We had essentially demoted ourselves to roommates who happened to share a bed.
I wasn't entirely surprised to come home and find him in our gazebo, fucking the new neighbor Leah. I stood in the shadows for a moment, watching the way their dark bodies moved together. They were like two wild animals, coming together in a dance as old as time. It was primal and needy, both of them finding pleasure in the other.
To be honest, at the time I had been slightly rejoicing. Jake had just given me the motivation I needed to get out of this disaster of a marriage. There had also been a twinge of jealousy. We had never completed each other the way they seemed to. The fluidity of their mating was astounding. He somehow managed to complete every move she started, instinctually, and vice versa.
So with some sadness, I had pushed away from the wall, making myself known and starting the process that would break my bindings. In all fairness, it had been a nearly painless process. We were still young and didn't have much accumulated to split up. There was also no custody battle as there had been no children involved, a small fact that I was now grateful for.
It wasn't that I didn't want children, because I did. I just didn't want any child I might have to suffer through a divorce. My own parents had divorced when I was young and I had always felt the pang of that whenever I had seen families together. Now, it seemed, the thought of having children would have to be put on the back burner.
I pulled my aging truck into the driveway at Charlie's house. I had lived here when I was a small child before moving to Phoenix with my mother, Renee. It was when Renee had met a man much younger than herself that I made my way back to Forks. I spent high school here before going off to college in Seattle with Jake in tow.
Jake and I had married right out of high school, right before we moved to Seattle. Neither of our families knew about his infidelity and I wasn't about to tell them. Everyone just assumed we had married too young and then grown apart, which was mostly true. Either way, I never corrected them and Jake and I let them make their own assumptions.
Charlie's house looked the same as it always had. I reached under the eave to retrieve the spare key that was always hiding there when I was jerked back by my shoulder. I spun around, ready to put all of my self-defense training into use. Thoughts of attackers and the best way to incapacitate them were running wild through my mind.
Go for the throat and the balls.
Stomp right on the top of their foot.
Bash them as hard as you can in the nose.
Gouge out their eyes.
I could hardly believe someone was actually stupid enough to attack the Chief of Police's daughter right in front of his house. It wasn't exactly like I was a stranger to anyone around here.
All thoughts of any kind of self-defense leaked out of my ears at the sight before me. There was a very large, very pissed off, half-naked man standing in front of me. His bronze hair was sticking up every which way and his green eyes were boring into mine. What really caught my attention though was his very bare, very muscular chest. Well, that and the happy trail that disappeared below the waistline of his jeans.
His jeans… Mother of God. They were unsnapped and riding dangerously low on his narrow hips and the vee leading straight down to the promised land was beckoning me. I could feel the saliva pooling in my mouth as I stared at him, unabashedly. Then he shifted his feet and cleared his throat and the moment was lost.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked me acidly. His sex-laced baritone voice made my neglected naughty bits tingle and I had to swallow, hard.
"Excuse me?" My voice didn't waiver and I was proud of the control I had gained over myself when what I really wanted to do was lick him, and then jump him.
He narrowed his eyes at me. "I asked what the hell you think you're doing. You don't look stupid, princess, so I can't figure out why you're trying to break into the police chief's house."
The whole thing should have been comical. Sexy stranger guy was looking out for my dad's house. It was kind of sweet, in a really distorted kind of way. Just as the first giggle burst free from my lips, Charlie's cruiser pulled up next to my truck. Charlie barely had time to put it in park before he jumped out and grabbed me.
"Bella! You beat me here. But that's okay, I'm just so happy to see you, kiddo!"
I smiled warmly at Charlie. He was such an easy-going guy. "Good to see you too, old man." Sexy naked man looked back and forth between us before Charlie finally noticed him.
"Oh! Edward, I see you've met Bella." Edward? Huh? Doesn't look much like an Edward.
Edward's eyes narrowed at me again and his forehead furrowed. "Bella?" He looked at me curiously while Charlie nodded proudly beside me.
I stuck my hand out politely, even if he had accosted me mere moments before. "Bella Black, well, Swan again now. Nice to officially meet you." It didn't sting, too much, to refer to myself as Swan again.
He took my offered hand and I nearly gasped at the shock. My skin was pulsing where his hand had come into contact with mine. His eyes widened and he quickly dropped my hand. "Edward Cullen," he said, placing his hands in his pockets. Then he gestured to the house next door, "Next door neighbor."
Charlie finally noticed Edward's state of undress and confusion clouded his features. "Edward? Where are your shoes?" Then he started looking around the group, low to the ground, "And where is Nessa?"
Before I could inquire, Edward laughed long and hard. "Um, well, when I looked out my window this morning and saw someone I didn't recognize trying to get into your house, I just grabbed the first thing handy," then he looked down and noticed his own appearance. His cheeks pinked slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Sorry." He was about to continue when there was a rustling sound in the bushes behind us.
Everyone spun around to look at the bushes. A soft giggle sounded before a tiny little girl popped out. "Here I am!" she cried.
Whatever I had been expecting, it most certainly wasn't this spritely little thing dancing around the group of us without a care in the world. Her bottle green eyes were the exact same shade as Edward's. The hair was slightly different though. While Edward's hair was more of a brassy color, Nessa's hair was much softer.
She continued to dance around the group while Edward gave her the stink eye. Apparently he wasn't too happy with her presence. Charlie was smiling at her like a fool as she pirouetted around us.
"Watch me dance, Daddy! You too, Papa Charlie!" Well, that explained why he seemed so besotted with the child, she called him Papa, and I imagine it made him feel grandfatherly toward her.
"Nessa," Edward didn't raise his voice or speak harshly; instead his tone was firm and very disapproving. "I thought I told you to stay in the house."
Nessa immediately stopped dancing and a small pout formed on her little heart-shaped lips. "I know Daddy, but then I saw Papa Charlie and I wanted to show him my new dance. I'm sorry."
I could see the tears welling in her eyes. Before I could think of what to do, Edward had kneeled down in front of her. "I know, baby. I just didn't know if it was safe for you. I would never want you to get hurt."
A single tear escaped and trailed down her porcelain cheek, and then she threw her little arms around her father and held on tight. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I promise I'll listen next time."
I was oddly moved to see the way he interacted with his child. I had never expected to find that so incredibly appealing. Yet here I was, still with a heavy case of lust, even after witnessing him in 'daddy mode.' What was even more interesting to me was that his daddy mode was nearly as sexy to me as his aggressiveness when we first met.
"Aw, Edward, give her a break. It's only my Bells." Charlie said with a wink. Nessa withdrew from her father's arms and launched herself at Charlie, who caught her on the fly. I could tell it was a well practiced move; the two of them must have done this often.
"Papa Charlie! When am I gonna meet your little girl? You said she was gonna be here soon." Her little lips pouted again and I couldn't help but laugh. Edward sent me an odd look.
Charlie ran his finger down Nessa's nose and tapped her on the very tip. "Well Nessa, it's like this, Bella is my little girl."
Nessa's eyes went wide as she looked me up and down, then pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "I thought she was gonna be little. Now who am I gonna play with?"
I laughed again and stepped toward Nessa and Charlie. "I'm sorry I'm not little, but I promise I will still play with you if that's okay." I held my hand out to her and introduced myself, "I'm Bella."
She looked in my eyes before glancing down at my hand and then her tiny hand nestled into mine. "I'm Nessa." She looked me over again before grinning, slyly. "Do you like to play dress-up?" Her little head cocked to the side as she waited for her answer.
I gulped quickly, wondering what I might have gotten myself into. "Um… I guess its okay."
She grinned a crooked grin at me before she spoke again. "But, do you like it?" I felt cornered. My father, who was a seasoned cop, couldn't even make me feel this panicky need to spill my guts.
I shuffled my feet, suddenly uncertain of myself. What should I do? Should I lie to her or go with the truth? I decided to tell her the truth; something told me she'd know otherwise. "No, not really. I don't mind doing it now and again, but I don't really enjoy it." I caught Edward trying to hide his grin.
Nessa breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. I want to go run in the park and swing on the swings." I was glad I had opted for the truth. Perhaps there was something about a girl living with her single father that made her not need to do all of those girly things. I thought that Nessa and I might be able to understand each other well.
"Well, if swinging is what you want, then I'm your girl." Nessa smiled brightly at me before turning to her father.
"Daddy, can I go with Bella to the park?" Her little face was turned up towards him with a look of pure adoration on it.
If I was going to be honest with myself I would have to say that I was a bit stunned by Bella. When Charlie had talked about his 'Bells,' I had admittedly imagined someone younger. Rationally, I knew she was older. He'd told me she had gotten divorced and was moving back home. It was just the nickname that evoked the childlike images in my mind.
Coming face to face with the real life version on the other hand, was quite a shock. At first glance, when I had looked out the window, I didn't see anything other than a dark-haired girl walking up to Charlie's house. I didn't remember anything about his daughter arriving that day. All I saw was a girl looking around, as if maybe she was scoping out the neighborhood.
How was I supposed to know that this girl, the girl that I had just grabbed moments before, was the daughter of the Chief of Police of Forks? Shouldn't she be wearing some kind of fucking sign? 'Cop's Kid – Back Off.' It would have made everything so much simpler.
But no, there had been no sign, just a girl reaching under the eave where Charlie kept his spare key. I had told him that would be the first place a burglar would look, but he never listened to me. This was going to be my opportunity to catch some punk kid and show him how asinine he was being. I was only trying to look out for him, after all. For a cop, he was amazingly laid back and sometimes entirely too trusting.
When I first spun her around, all I noticed was the fire in her eyes. She was standing up to me and ready to fight me off, like I was the one in the wrong. Then, she had the nerve to start laughing. That was all before Charlie showed up and cleared up the confusion. And it should have been fine, but then I really got a good look at her. What I saw took my breath away.
How was it possible that the girl who had haunted my dreams for months was now standing in front of me in the form of my neighbor's newly divorced daughter? I didn't know if I wanted to thank fate or kick her. I'd probably fucking kick her. My dream girl was the daughter of a cop. And not just any cop, but my neighbor, who happened to be a Police Chief. Just my fucking luck.
I was so stunned by her that I didn't even hear anything Nessa was saying. Something about a park. Everything was a little fuzzy; all I could see was Bella. She had a soft smile on her face as she gazed at my child and I felt my heart give a hard kick. I glanced at Nessa and noticed the expectant look on her face.
Uh oh. What the hell did she say? Right, the park.
"Sure, baby." Her little face lit up and everything about her took my breath away. She was my little angel, and I couldn't believe that I managed to somehow have her in my life.
She leaped out of Charlie's arms and ran straight for… Bella? Suddenly I wasn't quite sure of what was going on. Charlie smiled and waved them off and my little Nessa walked off hand in hand with her.
"We'll only be an hour or so." Her brown eyes met mine and I had to swallow before she turned and walked away with my daughter.
"Well, Edward, why don't you go grab a shirt and come on over for a cup of coffee?" Charlie's words reminded me that I was half-naked. My embarrassment flared again. But of course, that was probably Charlie's intention.
"Jealous much?" I laughed at the look on his face.
"Boy, go get some clothes on." He chuckled as he walked in his house.
As I walked over to my own house, I wondered about the details of Bella Black, now Swan again. I didn't know what to make of her resembling the girl in my dreams. Perhaps I had seen a picture of her at Charlie's house at some point. I'd have to make a point to look when I got back over there.
I pulled on a white tee shirt and searched out my favorite Nikes. Who knew if I was going to have to go to the park to rescue my child or not? I trusted Charlie wholly, but Bella was a wildcard. I knew essentially nothing about her. I'd have to remedy that as well.
Charlie had two fresh mugs of coffee on the breakfast bar when I walked into the kitchen. He looked up from his paper and smiled at me, then gestured toward my mug. "So, what did you think of my Bella? I'm so happy to have her home for a bit, despite the circumstances."
I could see the sincerity shining from him. He really loved his daughter. She had to have some redeeming qualities to earn Charlie's undying devotion that way. For all his naivety, Charlie was a sharp man and could read people well. Perhaps I could learn to trust Bella, too.
"Well, I didn't really have a chance to talk to her before you pulled up. I'm sorry, by the way, for grabbing her." I needed to get that out of the way before Bella told him her version of the events.
Charlie roared in laughter. I didn't see what was so funny about it. If somebody grabbed my daughter I would be furious. "I have got to hear this," was his only response.
So I told him, with some minor editing, about how I heard a truck pull up and looked out the window to see someone I didn't recognize strolling up to his house. As the story progressed, the more amused he became. I started wondering, briefly, if Charlie was entirely sane.
I sat up straighter on my stool and gave Charlie a glare. "I don't see how this is funny."
That only served to make him laugh harder. Now I knew the man was mentally unstable. "Edward, you don't understand. Bella has had years of self-defense training. I doubt you could have taken her down if you tried."
I remembered her stance. Tough and ready. The image was surprisingly sexy. I wanted to see that passion, that fierceness in her eyes when I was inside of her. I felt dirty having these kinds of thoughts while sitting across from her father, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.
Images flashed through my mind, ones I'd seen in my dreams. Bella's body, underneath mine, her back arched in pleasure. I could hear the throaty little moans she made in the back of her throat. My body was reacting to these 'almost' memories far too much for my liking. I needed to clear my head.
I stood abruptly and made my excuses to use the restroom. When I got there, I stared at myself in the mirror, my hands braced on either side of the sink. My eyes were dark, my arousal apparent. I was afraid to go back out there. I turned on the cold water and splashed some on my face. When I was feeling a bit more like myself, I looked in the mirror once more.
The rampant lust had faded from my eyes and my cheeks no longer held that ruddy hue. The cold water had also succeeded in taming other more intimate problems. I couldn't be more thankful that my jeans were no longer uncomfortable from a raging hard-on.
I made my way back to the kitchen, ready to face down Bella. I knew she'd be returning soon with Nessa. On my way, I passed the pictures in the hall and remembered my task. I stopped and looked at Bella's progression through life in still frames, but I could find no recent photos of her. They all stopped after her graduation. Of course she looked the same, but she had lost that youthful roundness and had matured into a stunning woman.
If Bella was indeed the girl from my dreams personified, then I knew that every curve and angle of her body was made to fit mine. I didn't quite know what to do with that knowledge. Wouldn't Charlie be upset with me for going after his daughter? Was it breaking man laws if your friend was old enough to be your father? And had a daughter that looked like that?
I knew one thing and one thing only, whether or not I could ultimately pursue her, my body wanted Bella Swan.
It was refreshing to get some fresh air and see the world through the eyes of a child. She missed nothing; every flower was a treasure, every rock a pot of gold. She skipped and jumped and danced around me as we made our way down the street to the park. I could remember coming here as a child and how much I loved to slide and swing. Perhaps I could regain some of my childhood here.
As Nessa chattered away about everything around us, I let my mind wander back to her father. What could have happened to leave him alone with Nessa? The fact that he wasn't wearing a ring had not escaped my attention. Neither had the fact that Nessa had not once mentioned her mother in all of this. Either way I was curious about him.
He was ridiculously good looking, and his body was chiseled and firm. I imagined I'd be fantasizing about him at some point in the future. He was the kind of stuff wet dreams were made of. I knew guys like him had hordes of women stalking after them like rabid she-wolves in heat. Didn't hurt to dream though.
Nessa's little voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Bella? Do you like my daddy?"
Well, she just jumps right in doesn't she?
"Um, I don't really know your daddy, Nessa. I'm sure he's a really nice guy though, I mean, you like him, right?"
She giggled and nodded her head. "Yeah, I like him. He's the best daddy ever!" She started bouncing around me. "Do you think he's handsome? He says boys can't be pretty because they aren't girls."
How wrong he was about that, he is beautiful.
"Well, um, yeah, I guess he's handsome." How do you have this conversation with a child?
"My nana says he's better than any old Prince Charming and that he's quite a catch. Do you know what that means?"
I couldn't help but laugh. I had forgotten what it was like to be around children. "I'm sure I can figure it out."
As we headed back to Charlie's house, my mind wandered again. If I closed my eyes, I could see his staring back at me. The feeling was so intense and part of me wanted to surrender to it. I remembered him running his hands through his hair and wishing it could have been my hands.
Everything about him seemed to be calling to me and it made me feel dirty. Here I was, not even a month divorced, and I was already lusting after the first guy that churned me up. I knew I wasn't cheating, the divorce was final, but I still felt like it was too soon. It was ridiculous, but that was me. Even telling myself that, I couldn't deny the draw.
When we walked in the kitchen, Nessa ran straight for Charlie, climbing into his lap and telling him all about our adventure to the park. I didn't remember the pirates taking us hostage on the way there, but she most certainly did. There were sword fights and men swinging from ropes all around and at one point we were nearly forced to walk the plank. Lucky for us we had been rescued, just in the knick of time.
I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head. The girl certainly had a very active imagination. The more she talked, the more drawn into the tale I was. She was clever with her words, even for a young child. Suddenly, I felt his presence behind me.
"Sounds like you had an eventful morning. I should thank you for facing such perilous dangers just to take Nessa to the park." I looked back and saw that his eyes were dancing with mischief. Apparently he was well used to Nessa's stories.
"This time was free. Next time I start charging hazard pay," I replied with a wink. I wasn't about to let him think he could get the upper hand on me. Besides, the glee in his eyes made him seem entirely too approachable. Suddenly, being divorced for only a month didn't seem like such a big deal. He made it seem like it didn't matter.
"I'll keep that in mind, Bella." My name rolled off his tongue and did wicked things to my libido. I couldn't remember ever being this attracted to a man before now, not like I was attracted to Edward.
I excused myself and made my way up to my room. I hadn't had the chance to wash off the grime of travel before Edward had grabbed me and I had been dragged off to the park by a six year old whirlwind.
The hot water pounding down on my skin did wonders for the built up tension. The drive alone was enough to make my muscles scream in protest, but with Edward and the feelings he was churning up in me, I was wound up like a fucking top.
I dried and dressed before making my way back to my room. It was just before noon and the sun was peeking through the light cloud cover. Something outside caught my attention and I walked over to the window to see what was going on.
I saw Nessa sitting in the middle of a gorgeous flowerbed. She was quickly and accurately dead-heading all of the plants. She looked so adorable with her tiny little gloves, her wide-brimmed hat, and her little bucket to toss the garbage. It was apparent that she spent a lot of time in the garden and was no stranger to weeding. Everything about her was so fascinating.
The distinct sound of a lawnmower brought me out of my musings. I glanced up toward where the sound had come from and sucked in a breath. I had already seen him half-naked, with his jeans riding low on his hips too, but there was something about a half-naked, sweaty Edward that made things so much more mouthwatering.
Back and forth he pushed his lawnmower, cutting a diagonal pattern into his yard. His jeans were snapped this time, but he wasn't wearing a shirt. His bronze hair was tied back with a bandana. I could see the sweat dripping down his skin and disappearing into the waistline of his pants.
I tried to swallow. My mouth was bone dry. I was hopeless.
I shook my head and tried to tear my eyes away from Edward, but I couldn't, not even when he turned his head and looked right at me. Bottle green met chocolate brown. Have you ever had one of those moments where time seems to stop? There is no sound, no movement, everything has paused? This was one of those moments.
The sound coming from the mower was suddenly too loud. I jerked myself away from the window and put a hand over my racing heart. That had been entirely too intense. I had never felt anything like that in my life. I didn't even know what that was.
I was overtired and I had bizarre ideas of soulmates and fate running through my head. I hadn't been able to sleep the night before and had left before first light. My fatigue was catching up to me. I was finally free of Jacob and our life, I could finally breathe free. It was liberating. It was also exhausting. I fell asleep with a pair of bottle green eyes haunting me.
I had to get out of her house. Charlie was looking at me oddly and I was afraid I had been discovered. If he knew the indecent thoughts I had running through my head, he'd have thrown me bodily from the house. I had to get out of there, quick.
I grabbed Nessa and made excuses about cutting the grass and promised Nessa she could work in the garden. She'd probably do it better than me anyway. I needed some kind of physical activity to take my mind off of Bella. Yard work was perfect.
I found all of Nessa's gardening tools and set her up in the side flowerbed. I had a pretty good view of her from any part of the yard and I knew Charlie would also be watching. There was no question that he adored my daughter. The feeling was mutual.
I pushed the mower back and forth, trying to clear my head of Bella. I had to try and take things slow, maybe befriend her first. Surely Charlie would like to have a respectable man making friends with his daughter. I was a gentleman. Only I didn't feel like a gentleman.
In my mind, Bella was naked and her tight little body was wrapped around mine. She was riding me at a break-neck pace while my cock slid in and out of her heat. I could almost feel myself sinking into her, connecting with her at the most intimate level. Her eyes would meet mine and she would throw her head back in abandon as a throaty purr vibrated through her. She would expose her neck to me, willing me to bite her. When her orgasm wracked her, she would drag me along behind her.
I was hard. Really hard. And it hurt. I was trying to cut the fucking grass and I had a hard-on that was nearly crippling me. I didn't know if I was going to be able to handle this. Then I felt her stare. I knew she was watching me from somewhere. I turned and met her gaze. It didn't waver.
I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. My feet had stopped and I stood there staring back at her. I could feel the ground shifting under me, then she turned away and the moment was shattered. I shook my head and tried to gather myself, but now I was achingly harder. Cutting the grass was turning out to be torture.
By the time I made it into the house I was nearly in tears. My balls felt swollen and they were throbbing. My dick was definitely swollen and it made walking extremely difficult. Life just didn't get any shittier than this. Especially when my six year old wanted to know why I was walking funny. I needed a shower. I needed to fucking come.
After setting Nessa up with a movie, I made my way into my private bathroom. I locked the bedroom door behind me, just for good measure. I set the temp as high as I could stand it and stepped back to let the water heat up. As I undressed, I imagined Bella with me. At least, the version of her from my dreams.
Her body slowly became exposed to me as she inched her shirt up. When she pulled it up and over her head, her lacy blue bra molded her creamy breasts perfectly. Her pants were peeled off of her with deliberate motions. I felt myself twitching in my pants.
I lowered them slowly, careful to avoid my straining erection. Once I was fully disrobed, I opened the shower door and stepped in behind my lovely companion. The hot water streamed down her body and dripped off her pert little nipples. Despite the heat, they were pebbled and hard, begging to be sucked.
As I took one in my mouth, I felt her fingers thread themselves into my hair. She tugged and kneaded as her moans echoed in the confines of my shower. Her hands wandered down my body until she fisted my cock. I almost came from the sensation. The heat was swirling around me, clouding my senses, and for a moment, I wondered if she really was there.
The scent of strawberries and freesia enveloped me. My vision went fuzzy and I felt her lips on my skin. She licked her way down my chest and her hands continued to stroke my length. My breathing became shallow as I saw her sink to her knees and take me into her hot little mouth. She looked up at me and smiled around my girth. Then she winked. I was done for.
I began thrusting wildly and pumping my hand over my shaft, faster and faster. My eyes were closed and it was Bella's mouth that was bringing me this pleasure. I was almost there; a few more strokes and I would finally have my release. Then my vision stood, naked and wet before me. She put her hands on my shoulders and jumped, wrapping her legs around me in the process.
I hissed as I entered her. She was tight and she was hot, and every bit of her was made for me. Her mouth was right by my ear and I heard her moan my name. It was almost too much. I began thrusting again, desperate to come, frantically trying to achieve my orgasm.
She whispered dirty things in my ear, things only a man's dream girl would say. Wickedly depraved things. Black spots assaulted my vision and I roared as my semen sprayed the shower wall, but I still imagined it was Bella, milking me for everything I had. When I was done, I leaned my head against the cold tiles. The contrast of the heat and cold quickly brought me out of my stupor and I finished my shower.
I stepped out and dried off, then wrapped the towel around my waist. I stepped out into my room and grabbed some clothes out of my dresser. I pulled them on and walked over to my window. The spring breeze was warm and windows had been opened for weeks now. Everyone was trying to air out the dank winter feeling.
I meant to look out over the yard, something I did often to remind myself of what I had. I needed to remind myself that even if I couldn't be mother and father to Nessa, I could provide her with a safe home to live in. And I could share her with people like my parents, and like Charlie.
Instead, a noise caught my attention and my eyes were drawn to the window across the yard. Of course, fate being the tricky bitch that she is put Bella's window directly opposite mine. Her windows were open, too, and I had heard her make a sound. She was sleeping; her hair was spread out over her pillow like a halo. I wanted to cross the yard and scale the side of her house; I wanted to run my fingers through her hair.
I watched as Bella began to squirm in her sleep. Her back arched and I heard the noise again. Bella was moaning. She was having an erotic dream. My dick twitched in my pants again and I wanted to curse her for her ability to elicit this reaction from my body. Her hands began to slide down her own body, molding her breasts on the way down. She was massaging her stomach and I could see her breathing picking up.
Her chest was heaving, the rise and fall mesmerizing me. My hands were at the snap of my jeans, freeing my once again erect cock. The thought hadn't even registered. As her hand slipped into the top of her yoga pants, my hand gripped my shaft firmly. I watched, completely enthralled, as she stroked herself to orgasm.
I felt perverted, like some peeping Tom, which I essentially was. Here I was, beating off as I watched her masturbate in her sleep. I really was a sick fuck. People should stay far away from me. Then I heard her moan my name as she came. Her eyes flew open and locked on mine. I had been caught.
Her gaze traveled down my body until it rested on my still fully aroused dick, with my hand still wrapped around it. The head was purple and so very sensitive to the touch. I was amazed that it was this hard since I had just come in the shower, too, but I pushed that thought out of my mind. Bella was still staring at my cock.
I jerked my pants up as quickly as I could and jumped away from the window. I was beyond embarrassed and terrified. What if she told Charlie? Would he kill me? He probably would. I had essentially just defiled his daughter. I was going to hell. I went down to the kitchen and awaited my doom.
The mist was soft and covered the ground. There was a blanket lying in the middle of the meadow, surrounded by wildflowers. It was white and as soft as a cloud. I laid down, wanting to surround myself in its comfort. The breeze picked up and I caught his scent.
I wasn't sure how I knew it was him, but I did. My lover was coming. My body began to thrum in anticipation. I felt my arousal building. I looked down and noticed that I was naked. I skimmed my hands down, molding my breasts, knowing he was watching. My hands stroked my stomach, willing him out of the shadows, willing him to show himself to me.
I arched my back and moaned at the pleasure I was giving myself. I turned myself over to the sensation. My hands made their way down into my silky curls and into the tight wetness of my pussy. When I touched my clit, my body shook in delight. My release was building.
I stroked faster, knowing he was watching, wanting to show him what he did to me. I pushed myself over the edge and tumbled into my orgasm as I called his name. 'Edward.' I opened my eyes and was shocked to see Edward, standing at his window watching me.
His hand was holding his swollen cock and he was staring at me. I felt my hand still in my pants and color rushed to my cheeks. He had been masturbating while watching me do the same. I was equal parts mortified and aroused. I didn't know what that said about me. I should have been horrified that he had watched me. I wasn't.
I went downstairs with a new bounce in my step. Perhaps moving back in with my father wouldn't end up being so bad.
The next few weeks seemed to fly by. Talking to Edward was awkward now. He never met my gaze and always seemed nervous around me. I guess I could understand, considering the last time our eyes had locked, we'd both been in a very compromising position. Maybe he was as nervous as I was. All I did know was that he was becoming a nightly visitor to my dreams.
Edward tried to keep Nessa away at first. I had been hurt thinking he was trying to keep her away from me. Then he explained that he didn't want me to feel obligated and he didn't want her getting in my way. I told him I was an editor and pretty much made my own hours. I worked from home and didn't have any pressing projects that I was currently working on.
From then on we were nearly inseparable. Almost daily, Nessa would come over to play. Most times we ended up going to the park, but occasionally she wanted to stick around and cook or bake with me. She was my constant shadow, following me everywhere I went. I was more than a little in love with her. She was vibrant and joyful, and even when she was being difficult, she was still a blessing.
By the end of the second month, I ached to love her like a mother. Lusting after Edward had absolutely nothing to do with it either. I wanted Nessa for exactly who she was. She was everything that I had always wanted in a child and I was awed by what an amazing job Edward had done with her. On the flip side, that only made him that much more desirable.
It was a precarious line I was walking on. I wanted Edward in ways that I had never desired a man before, and I wanted him for him, but I also wanted the part of him that was Nessa's father. And then there was Nessa. I was so torn, so conflicted. If I acted on my desire for Edward, what would happen if it went wrong? Would I lose Nessa too? I didn't know if that was something I could handle.
It was almost more than I could take. The dreams were plaguing me now, day and night, every time I closed my damn eyes. Knowing what Edward looked like mostly naked wasn't helping. I could feel him with me, spurring me forward, driving me mad. It was primal, it was wanton, it was needy.
I had to physically restrain myself from jumping him. We hardly ever even spoke, we weren't friends, and other than his daughter, I didn't know if we had anything in common. But I wanted him. And I was beginning to feel like I actually fucking needed him.
I tossed and turned in my bed, the warming weather pressing down on me. I couldn't sleep. I knew if I closed my eyes, Edward would visit my dreams, but the dreams weren't enough anymore. How much more masturbation could I take before I just spontaneously combusted? I needed something more than any toy or my hand.
I threw the covers off of myself in disgust. When had I become some hormone driven freak? It was all Edward's fault. He just had to be all sexy and perfect and fuckable. And on top of that, he had to be a genuine guy and a wonderful father. I stormed out of my house in my pajamas; certain no one would be out there to see me. I needed out of the confines of my room.
I walked over to the bench swing hanging from the trees at the edge of the woods. I plopped down and began swinging back and forth, my eyes cast toward the sky. I sighed in the darkness, finding comfort in the oblivion. But even here Edward encroached on my mind. I imagined him sitting with me, rocking back and forth.
His hand would snake across the seat and capture mine and we would swing in the darkness, hand in hand. Then he would draw me closer, pulling me into his warmth and would wrap me up in his arms. I closed my eyes and willed the fantasy to come.
I turned in the seat and wrapped both arms around his neck, throwing my leg over him. As I sat back, straddled across his lap, his green eyes would penetrate my soul. He would look at me and just know how much I wanted him. How much I needed him. I sat there in the darkness, and imagined my dream Edward loving me.
My hands traced the same path his did enticing a throaty moan from me. While my clothing remained on, my fingers still inched up the hem of my shorts, seeking the warmth hidden within. I let out a small gasp as I felt the wet heat between my legs. Then I heard the scrape of a match and the hiss of a flame. I spun around in my seat and looked directly at Edward, standing off in the trees.
The need for Bella that was building within me was driving me to the brink of insanity. I had been sure that she was going to tell Charlie about the perverted freak living next door, but nothing ever came of it. The days turned into weeks, and then before I knew it a month had passed and I still wanted Bella with a ferocity I had never experienced.
I thought keeping Nessa away from her would help. If I didn't have to see her playing with my daughter and didn't have to interact with her, things would be easier. I could maybe admire her from a distance, but never get close enough to cross any lines. I would try to be a good friend to Charlie.
Neither Nessa nor Bella would allow themselves to be separated, though, and before long, they were thick as thieves. Summer break was in full swing and Nessa was delighted at all the time she could spend with her new friend. She had entirely forgotten her ire at Bella not being a child. I could see the bonds she was forming and I was worried. Nessa was starting to look at Bella as a mother-figure.
I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that relationship. As unconventional as it was, it was still the best thing my daughter had going for her in regards to a mother. Who was I to let my desire ruin that? I would be a terrible person if I allowed that to happen. My daughter and her happiness were first and foremost with me and she needed Bella more than I did. Even if my body disagreed.
By the end of the second month I thought I was going to have to tie myself up at night. I wanted to go to her, so badly. I wanted to know her, to hold her, to worship her. I needed to keep my distance. The animal within me wanted to take her and claim her, but the beast wouldn't have his way. He was beaten back, regularly. The abuse my dick suffered was starting to take its toll. I needed something real, something more.
It was unseasonably warm when I made my way outside for a cigarette. I didn't smoke in the house because of Nessa and I was grateful for the heat wave. Ever since Bella moved in, I had been smoking more than usual. I was feeding one addiction while starving another. There was no doubt that Bella had become an addiction.
I stepped off the path into the trees and let the coolness wash over me. I didn't think Nessa would wake up, but I didn't want her to catch me smoking either. She had been hounding me to quit lately, and seeing her tiny little face begging me not to smoke nearly broke my heart. I didn't want to disappoint her. So I hid, like a coward.
Before I had a chance to light up, I heard a noise. The back door of the Swan house slammed closed against the frame and Bella made her way directly toward me. She was barely wearing anything and I stopped breathing. Her top was small and had tiny little straps holding it up. It was a delicate pink color. The shorts were even smaller than the top and barely covered her pert little ass. They were brown with pink dots all over them.
I watched as she sat down on the swing and started swinging. She was looking at the sky and looked lost in her thoughts. I admired her from a safe distance, worried that if I got closer I might touch her.
I heard her soft sigh before I saw her hands start tracing her body again. My body immediately remembered the last time I had been witness to this and I didn't know whether or not to stop her. I badly wanted to see her come again, but I didn't know if I could refrain from going to her if she did. I needed to alert her to my presence.
I took the match from my pocket and scraped it on the bark of the tree I was leaning on. The flame flared to life and hissed as it began consuming the wood of the stick. I brought the match to my face and touched it to the tip of my cigarette, watching as it began to glow orange. The smoke began curling around my head, making its way up toward the sky.
She spun around and her gaze locked on mine. I knew it was hopeless, there was no use denying it any longer. No matter how hard I tried, we had been pushed closer and closer. It seemed inevitable. I was fighting a losing battle with fate. I looked into Bella's eyes and I knew. She was going to become my lover. Tonight.
I watched her through the smoke, curious as to what she was going to do. Her breath was racing and she had her hand over her heart. In the filtered moonlight, I could see that her eyes were wide and dark. The tension in the air was palpable. She knew, too.
As she got to her feet, I flicked the butt of my cigarette off into the woods. Stay or go? I wanted to voice it, but I was afraid to break the silence. I didn't want to spook her. Stay or go?
Her feet started moving, one foot in front of the other, until she was standing directly in front of me. Her hand came up and began tracing the planes of my face and my heart was pumping wildly. Not a word was spoken as she memorized my face with her fingers.
She ran her hands down my arms until her fingers intertwined with mine. She brought my hands up to her shoulders. I let them rest there for a moment before I ran my hands through her hair. Her eyes closed and her head fell back. She moaned and I felt it reverberate through me.
My hands came up to cup her face and her eyes opened, meeting mine. Our gaze stayed locked as I lowered my head, capturing her lips in a sensual kiss. I nipped at her bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth. When I released it, I lathed it with my tongue to take away any sting. She was quivering in my arms, her breath fanning across my face.
When I broke the kiss, we still hadn't looked away from each other. I needed to come clean. I needed to tell her. I opened my mouth.
"I've been dreaming of you."
Her eyes widened some before a soft smile graced her perfect lips.
"So have I."
A/N: Okay, so don't shoot me. I had to stop it there in order to do this story justice. I will be writing probably 3 or 4 more chapters of this before tagging it complete, but the one-shot had to stop there. Can you feel it? Can you feel the tension? Is it driving you mad?
A couple PSA's. First of all, I'd like to thank one of my new betas, Julie!!! Woo-Hoo! Welcome to the team Julie, and I love you dearly. Here's to a wonderful friendship and partnership. And thank you for reading this over more than once and listening to my whining.
My preview team: Jessica, Joy, Lillie, Kelly, Amanda… I love you all. But Jessica, my Khar… you keep me sane, bb. Thanks for telling me this was fuckawesome and that it was NOT wonky. And all of the other creative shit you said.
Please review and vote!
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