This was initially inspired by the vague spoilers for season 5, but kind of spiralled and was changed and ended up not what I had originally planned...so really you don't need to know that =P
Sorry if my tenses are a bit messed up, there was a reason behind it changing – you'll just have to ask the muse what that was ;P – I have looked over this so many times that it's now kind of blurring together, hope you can forgive a few tense mix ups!
Disclaimer: I don't own CM.
The Worst Possible Day
Penelope Garcia had had the worst possible day. Ever. In the history of the world. Ok, so maybe she was being a bit overdramatic, but it came pretty close.
She woke up this morning in the arms of her boyfriend, her hairy chested, refreshingly honest quirkily charming boyfriend. And now, well now she was sitting on her couch with her red quilt pulled tight around her as she ate rocky road ice cream and watched 'She's all That' while the tears streamed down her face. Ok, so she wasn't really, she must have skipped that part of the cliché.
She was angry, she was infuriated, and she was also a little bit heartbroken. Ok, so maybe more than a little bit.
She'd woken up that morning with not a care in the world - well except when the next case would drag them all down, but that was a work thing, that feeling would never go away – but essentially without a care in the world, but then the man she was snuggled against woke up; and he said something he shouldn't, used words he should never have used. And that was it, it couldn't continue. He had to go. He'd done the one thing that would guarantee he never got anywhere near her or her bed ever again – he'd rolled over and said with a yawn: "Morning Baby Girl."
Her skin crawled at his words. Those were words reserved for one person and one person only: Derek Morgan. She thought he knew that, thought he understood that unspoken rule.
She'd recoiled physically without being able to stop herself in time and he noticed. He had looked hurt and she had felt bad for a brief moment before he reached out to touch her and she sat up, pulling the duvet with her to cover herself. She'd broken it off. There and then, naked in the bed with the man she was supposed to be in love with she broke it off. Just like that. All because he said those two words, those two words that he should never have said.
She'd listened to him question why, listened to him plead for another chance but she couldn't, he had crossed that line which she'd thought he'd known was there. She'd climbed out of the bed, leaving him coverless, heading straight for her bathroom with her robe telling him that she'd be out in a minute and it'd be better if he wasn't there.
She got changed and did her usual morning routine all the while listening out to see when he had left. When she heard the familiar footfalls leaving she left the bathroom grabbing her hand bag on the way. She was going to the office, going to her sanctuary and maybe, just maybe she'd actually have the guts to tell the very man who could call her 'Baby Girl' exactly how she felt.
And therein lies where this day went from bad to worse.
She'd been ready, she'd finally chucked the boyfriend (who if she was honest had been a safety net of sorts) and she now had the courage to tell the gorgeous Derek Morgan, her best friend and confidante that she was in love with him. And her resolve and courage even held up when said (now ex-) boyfriend came into her office, tail between his legs and lower lip protruding begging her to tell him what he'd done wrong, and pleading for another chance. She'd been nice about it, she was still Penelope Garcia, after all – and Penelope Garcia was never one to be mean, in fact everyone would tell you that she didn't have a mean bone in her body - and he took it as well as could be expected. He left with a sad smile and didn't look back and she was glad of that, no matter how much she knew it was over she still had a penchant for puppy dog eyes.
She'd finally finished all of her work for the team, although it took her a little longer that day due to her preoccupied mind, and was headed out to where the BAU members' cars were parked ready to intercept and to tackle – that was a fitting word when talking about this specimen of a man – the subject straight on and talk to Morgan. She had surprised herself with her resolve and her determination, with the fact that she wasn't frightened to tell him anymore. Maybe it was because now she knew she could feel wanted, she knew what it was like to have someone love you unconditionally and she knew she wanted that from Derek Morgan and not Kevin Lynch. I mean it was only fair that a girl who always chose the short straw in life got the one thing she'd always wanted, right?
Or so it seemed.
That was when reality hit her in the face like a ton of bricks - well, more like the sliding open of the elevator car door - to reveal the gorgeous Derek Morgan escorting an equally gorgeous woman into the passenger seat of his SUV. She'd calmed her breathing, ignoring the searing ripple of jealously that had torn through her gut as she saw his hand placed on her lower back and the smile on his face as he'd helped her up. Ever the gentleman. Why did that fact repulse her so now? Oh yeah, because he was being it with another woman. With another woman. However it wasn't just this gesture alone that had her heart pounding in her chest and her eyes stinging, it was also the fact that he kissed her, a soft gentle kiss to her temple and Garcia's heart began to beat that little bit faster. She knew she must be bright red now, blushing furiously. Partly from embarrassment and partly from anger. But mostly from anger. How dare he? How dare he have someone! It wasn't fair!
She'd left in a rush, the hallways a blur of people and colour as she'd tried to get out of there as quickly as she could. She needed to breathe, she needed air, and she needed to be home, in her space. She needed to get that image out of her mind. But it seemed burned into her eyelids. It was just a touch but to Derek Morgan that was a comfortable gesture and the kiss, well that was much more than comfortable. That was most definitely not the first time he had met with that long legged, tanned, brown haired beauty. Her temper soared. It wasn't fair! Why did the fates punish her so? How was it fair that when she got rid of the only thing stopping her from admitting her feelings he had to have found someone?
Why did this have to happen now?
The only answer she'd come up with was that whoever was looking over her was enjoying the turmoil she was being put through.
And now, present time, she was pacing in her apartment, her mind going a mile a minute raking over every single conversation she'd had with Derek this past month trying to find any clue, any indication that he'd told her about this woman. She couldn't think of anything. Nothing. And it was driving her slowly insane. She'd phoned Emily and JJ from her car, ranting to them about life being unfair, worrying them to the extent that right now they were both using a spare key to get in to the apartment. They stopped suddenly at the sight in front of them: Penelope Garcia pacing – back and forth, back and forth – her hands flailing everywhere as she muttered random sentences under her breath. They caught a few and realised what this was about: Derek Morgan and his newest love interest.
"GARCIA!" they shouted after a few attempts and just saying her name had gone unrewarded.
"Hmm?" She asked, her head snapping up to see her two friends looking at her worriedly.
"Garcia," JJ said softly, leading her to the couch. "What happened? What's got you so worked up?" She asked with concern evident in her voice trying to coax the whole story out of their obviously frazzled friend.
"I was- and he was- and she was- and this is all so-" She trailed off, her anger calming for a second as she saw the concern on her friends' faces. She took a deep breath before she started, telling them all about her morning, her day and then her not so pleasant experience just after work.
They watched as the many emotions flitted across her features as she told them the story of her day and as they heard about her surprise about Morgan's new 'woman' and they winced slightly. They had thought she knew.
She stilled suddenly and they watched with baited breath as her eyes widened as if a sudden realisation had just occurred.
"What? What is it? What's wrong Garcia?" Emily asked, jumping up and reaching for her arm, steadying her just in case.
"He said he was going to ask her out! He did! I just forgot. How could I forget something like that?"
"Garcia? What do you mean?" JJ asked.
"He said to me, he told me, he asked me..." She rubbed her temple in exasperation.
"What is it?" They probed again, hoping she'd shed some light on what she was talking about.
"He actually asked me what I thought about all this, he actually talked to me about it before he did it." She said incredulously. "And I didn't think anything of it. I just thought it was another notch on his belt. But that was, soft, intimate...I can't believe I just- it's not fair- how was I supposed to know? Why did he not make his intentions clear? Ha, because it's Morgan, I just assumed. Why didn't I notice that it was more, that he was more serious?" She rambled, not allowing them to get a word in edgeways.
"Garcia!" Emily said suddenly, "Calm down! This is Morgan after all, it's probably just another one of his-"
"No!" She interrupted. "This was different, this was more than that. What am I going to do?" She asked, her anger dissolving to be replaced by sadness as she slumped down into the sofa.
"Pen," JJ implored softly as they sat on either side of her. "Tell him."
"I can't!" She exclaimed softly. "Not now. Not after that." She said and her voice had dropped now to almost a whisper.
"You were so determined today Pen, you can do it. You can tell him. There's always been something more between you two, please Pen, for your own sanity, will you tell him?"
"I can't." She said, her eyes welling up and her voice dropping to its softest point.
"You can." They both said with conviction.
"No, I can't. And I won't. I refuse to be the one to wreck the first attempt at a proper relationship he's had in years. " They look at her with questioning eyes. "I can't do it. I won't do it."
"No. I can't." She said almost pleading them to go no further.
"Ok." Emily said softly. "It's your choice. But you know where we are if you want to talk. Any time." She said before adding. "Do you want us to stay?"
"No, no, it's fine. Honestly girls, you go home, I'll be fine." She replied and they could hear the steely resolve creep back into her tone.
"Are you sure?" They questioned, not really wanting to leave her but knowing that sometimes after a broken heart you just need some alone time.
"Yeah, really, on you go." She replied and before they knew it she was ushering them out.
It was sitting by herself with her music on while she started working on one of her projects that her anger resurfaced. Her thoughts running rampant in her mind:
Why did I break up with the one man who loved me?
Why do I let my heart get broken over and over by the same man who has no idea of his power over me?
I'm going to end up alone: Old, bitter and alone.
Why do I not just accept that I am one in life who will have to settle, that I will not get the man of my dreams?
Why do I love him even though he doesn't love me back?
Baby Girl...Goddess...Baby Girl...Princess...Baby Girl...Oracle...Baby Girl...BABY GIRL...
The words reverberated in her head, taunting her, creating a mantra and she wanted to scream-
There was a loud knock at the door and she was tempted not to answer it, but something made her. Whether it was her anger pushing her forward or some kind of hidden power she didn't know, nor did she care at that moment when she flung open the door revealing a rather shaken and upset looking Kevin Lynch. She went to close the door when his hand shot out and he spoke:
"Penelope, please, just hear me out." He pleaded.
She paused, her mind considering the possibilities of getting back with him for a second before it snapped back to her reason for it being over in the first place. "No, Kevin. It's over." She said with a slight bite to her tone. That was her final answer.
She closed the door then, telling him he had to go before turning the key in the lock and shutting him out of her flat, and also out of her mind as she headed back to the living room to do something to occupy her mind.
As she once again took to pacing the length of her lounge she was praying that she could deal with the feelings bubbling inside her, praying that they wouldn't become too much, that she would be able to deal with them. But if the images assaulted her mind as much in sleep as they had done up until now then she knew she was in for one horrendous night, definitely not what she needed right now. Not when she was obsessing over every little detail of the past few days, weeks and months trying to work out when this had all started, how serious it was and just why she hadn't thought anything more of the little things that were now providing her with the big picture.
It hurt to think about, there was the rip-tare of jealousy through her as she remembered the way he had guided her into the SUV and the fact that the woman was just like all of his other 'types': the complete opposite of her. It hurt that he would never think of her as more than a sister.
And now she would never know if there was even the slimmest chance he liked her more than that because she refused to put herself in that situation. She would not be the one to break them up. She had been on the receiving end of that long enough to know that she couldn't inflict that on someone, and definitely not someone that Derek was serious about. She wouldn't do that. She would continue to put on a brave face, be his friend, his shoulder to lean on, his rock – whatever he needed her to be. She would be there in her best friend capacity. She would do enough acting to earn her an OSCAR several times over and with each performance her heart would break a little more but she would not break from character. Her best friend deserved his shot at happiness, and who was she to deny him that.
No matter how much she rationalised it she knew that this had officially been the worst day, ever.
What d'you think? I know, I know it wasn't a happy ending!