Hear I am again. I hope that you all like it, this was planned out as a new chapter to one of my other stories but it did not come out at all like I planned it to. It wasn't serious enough. I don't know if anyone else will find this funny, but I had a good time writing it. Sorry if the spacing is messed up I am still new at putting this stuff online.


Dear Diary,

In the interest of keeping accurate historical records of the Akatsuki's rise to power, and for his own sick amusement (but mostly for his amusement I think) the "leader" of Akatsuki has ordered everyone to keep a journal of their lives.

I really hate him sometimes.

I know that could argue about this and most likely get my way, but it's so much easier to get what I want with big decisions if I let him have his way with idiocy like this sometimes.

Never work with a man who wants to be worshiped as a god. I should have known that already, but no. I ignored my own sense of judgment and went ahead with using him anyway.

That may not have been smart, but you stick with what you have.

I am pretty sure that this whole thing is Konan's fault. Just like the stupid nail polish. Pain listens to her stupid suggestions so much that it makes me wonder which one of us is the real secret leader of Akatsuki, me or the origami girl.

Hopefully me.

No use worrying about it right now. Not when it can be turned to my advantage. I can just borrow the other members diary's with out them noticing, and then easily slip it back into place when I am done reading it.

We have a meeting tomorrow, I can't wait to see how well this goes over with the other members.


Dear Diary,

It went about as poorly as I had expected it to.

Kakuzu immediately started rambling about the price of paper, and time wasted writing that could be spent working.

Pain told him to shut up and asked him where the hell his partner was. Not that he needed to, everyone knows that he probably killed the unlucky missing-nin for something stupid like breathing to loudly. And that he probably did it in the most gruesome way possible. Just like last time. This one didn't even last a whole month. We really need to look for someone a little more sturdy for that job next time.

Sasori didn't complain about it. The creepy little puppet just took a note book from the table and left after giving his report on his last few missions.

Zetsu also didn't complain. I knew that he would stay silent, take his note book and ignore the whole thing. Which is what I would do if I had any brains.

Orochimaru the snake pervert ignored the whole thing because he was much to busy flirting with Itachi to care about the meeting. Or at least that's what it looked like to me. That snake really needs to learn to keep his hands to him self, or eventually Itachi is going to get angry enough to do something violent about it. I should go and do the smart thing and arrange for Pain to have a little talk with Orochimaru about personal space, and the age of consent. Before he does something stupid. Not that I would mind because, really, it would be way too much fun to see Itachi snap and kill someone.

Luckily for the snake-perv, Kisame stepped in before it reached the point where we would have had to clean up any blood. I didn't pay any attention to what happened next because I was sitting in the corner pretending to be an idiot by drawing hearts and smiley faces on my diary.

I love pretending to be the village idiot when I am really the mayor, so to speak. I wish I had time to do something weird and confusing, but I just sat in the corner like the good boy they all think I am.

Maybe next time.


Dear Diary,

Remember what I said about Orochimaru, you know the stuff about what a creepy snake pervert he is. And how Itachi was going to get tired of his behavior soon. And how Pain needed to have a talk with him soon.

Well yeah...

Snake-perv tried to steal his body this afternoon. Turns out he really was trying to get into Itachi's pants, just not in the way that I expected him to.

Itachi was not at all amused by this. Not one little bit.

I mayexplain this properly when I stop feeling so creeped out and shocked by all of this...

It might take a while.


I would love it if you could review this. Remember it's the only payment any of us get.

I am also taking suggestions for what I should write next. If there is something you would like to see let me know I could be able to fit it in.