Hi, I'm back now. Sorry it took so long to update, I had planned to get a few chapters done during the summer, but my computer broke and a bunch of other things got in the way. Now it's fall and I'm was behind on a lot of things, not just writing. Lame excuse, but still, that's how it turned out.

It seems like some people want to see what Pain and Konan have to say about life in Akatsuki, and I'm more than willing to look into that. Pain is up first, as I'm not sure what to do about Konan yet.

Apparently people liked Hidan's entries; I may need to give him more in the future. It could be a while on that, Hidan is hard to do. I don't swear much and when I do it's not usually very creative.

As always thanks for the reviews.

Insert witty disclaimer about how I own absolutely nothing here.

Ch. 7: Invading the privacy of others is fun.

Dear Diary,

After exploring the deepest inner workings of Hidan's mind (and having found out that there isn't much going on in there) I have decided to take a look at what everyone else has written in their journals.

I expect to be disappointed; none of them seem very bright.

It was surprisingly easy, but I found Pain's journal this morning. He just left it lying around on his bedside table. I guess he and Konan were too busy having wild-screaming-monkey-headboard-breaking-sex to put it away properly.

Oh dear god, I can't believe I just wrote that. Everyone's stupidity and immaturity must be starting to rub off on me. Excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall for a moment.

I know what will cheer me up, reading Pain's diary.

Let's see what we've got here.


As we commence with our grand plans I find myself to be in the most excellent of moods.

What, really?

Before long we will start to seek out the Tailed Beasts that we need if our design is to be successful.

It had better be, otherwise I went through all this nonsense for nothing.

I have some doubts however. All of the organization, except for Konan and myself, are motivated by monetary gain or other impure motives such as love of combat or desire for recognition.

Well isn't that a surprise, I thought that would be what one would expect when one hires a bunch of Mercenaries.

I find their lack of faith in our cause to be...disturbing.

You want faith. Go talk to Hidan.

If Pain could convince Hidan that he is Jashin, then at the very least Pain could get twice the work, and half the complaining out of Hidan.

Unfortunately, while rather dumb Hidan isn't quiet that stupid. And worse yet Pain isn't that smart.

Not that I mind really, it just makes things that much easier for me.

I think I've had enough of Pain for one day. It looks like he ate a thesaurus and threw up all over the page.

Another minor but still annoying quirk of his is that his hand writing keeps changing. I'm pretty sure that this is because his bodies keep taking turns writing. Is it so hard for him to just pick one hand and stick with it?

Enough of Pain, I want to see what Konan has to say.

It shouldn't take long to find her diary. I'll be back soon.

Four hours later.

That wasn't too hard. It took longer than I thought it would, but it was still laughably easy. You would think that someone who wanted her diary hidden would make more of an effort to hide it.

All I had to do was locate the secret panel in the wall, slip past the maze of trip wires and paper bombs in the hall and pick the tiny lock on the side of the diary. She may as well have just handed it to me. This was just much too easy.

After collecting the diary I slipped back to my closet/bedroom/lair to do a little reading.

I wonder what this will contain. Deep dark secrets? A pressed flower collection? Little drawings of hearts and unicorns?

Sadly no.

I just don't see Konan as a hearts and unicorns kind of girl. But then I didn't think that excessive amounts of body piercings were a turn on for either, until of course I was subjected to the nightly scream-fest.

Now let's see whets inside.


THAT BITCH! That irritating, shockingly clever bitch.

I suppose a little explaining is in order.

I opened the diary, my fingers nearly shaking with anticipation at exploring my latest discovery. I was almost giddy with anticipation.

For a moment I paused, savoring my triumph.

Sadly the moment was not to last.

The moment I opened the diary all the pages flew out like a horde of angry moths and attacked me! Yes really, I couldn't make this up if I tried.

I must admit that I was slightly surprised by all this. However, despite her best efforts I was unharmed. Such a simple trap is not nearly enough to hurt one such as I.

It did however, really piss me off. The final icing on the humiliation cake was that words "Nice try you moron" neatly written on each page.

She wins this round, but mark my words. This is not over.

Alas, that must wait for another day. Now it is time to slip on my mask and go eat dinner.

Tonight I'll see how annoying I can be before someone snaps and tries to put something sharp through my eye hole.

I hope its Konan.


It was Hidan, but I don't care it was still funny.

Thanks for reading. Sorry it took so long to get done.

As always a review would be great.