Dear L,

Please get pregnant. At least then
you'll be forced to eat healthy, stand straight,
sit normally, and sleep like a regular person.
Minus the morning sickness, of course.

Love,
Light Yagami


Because of Light being a college student, and an honor student at that, L had to spend a lot of time alone. Especially now that finals were around the corner. Mello and Matt would come over often to keep him on the straight and narrow when it came to his food consumption and nap times and Watari would come to tend for him whenever he was feeling well enough to. The head injury had been cause enough to keep him bedridden for a while. But today, L was all alone at home. He was munching on a giant watermelon slice with chocolate syrup drizzled on it and little candy stars gleaming from the sticky black treat. Smacking his lips in appreciation at the treat, L looked down at the little bulge forming where his flat stomach once was.

Grimacing, he remembered what the doctor told him at his appointment earlier that day. He wasn't exactly sure how Light was going to react to the news, but he was sure that it wouldn't be as dramatic as Watari's was when he shared the news of his pregnancy. That was freakily weird. And traumatizing. He had to comfort himself with gobs of high-fructose treats for weeks. Finishing off the watery treat, L laid back in the comforting folds of the bed sheets. The smell of Light's expensive shampoo and conditioner wafted gently from the pillow next to his. It brought a smile to his lips as he remembered how much he teased the poor boy for using conditioner on his hair when they first moved in together. There had been a lot of arguing during those days, but the constant make-up sex had been more than enough compensation. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until he got pregnant that they slowed down on make-up sex. Or sex at all. How disturbing.

"Eating on the bed again?" came the weary voice.

L let his eyes slide shut and a smile curl on his lips. "Is it that obvious?"

"Let's see, was it the open bottle of chocolate syrup running down the sheets or the giant rinds of watermelon that gave it away?"

"I'll go with the chocolate."

Sigh. "How'd the appointment go?"

Time to dodge the question. "How're your studies going?"

"They're fine…wait, why didn't you answer my question?" L heard the younger man walking around the bed to stand beside him. "Is something wrong?"

"If my not getting laid in a few weeks is anything to go by, then yes, something is terribly wrong."

"L, I'm being serious."

The pale man opened his eyes and looked up into that worried face. "There's nothing wrong with the babies."

"Oh, that's grea-"

Wow, it only took him .58 seconds to take in that information. "And before you ask, no I didn't make an error in using the plural. Ultrasounds showed that I'm going to give birth to twins." The large thud that came a few seconds later were not something that poor L was expecting. Neither was the sight of Light sprawled out on the floor with his eyes rolled back. "WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE FAINT?!!"

~_~_~_~_~_

Near was beginning to question his sanity. It had been one thing to accept that the feminine and prissy Mello had become pregnant, but this was on a whole different level of freakiness. L was pregnant with twins. Not only that, but Mello was pregnant again. Everyone was at L and Light's house and the two expecting men were chattering away about…disturbing things, and the two…non-pregnant men were looking quite pale and not talking at all. And then there was Near who was staring at everyone as if they had all attained world peace. It was a look of shock and confusion, not happiness.

Looking at Matt (who only recently had the cast from his broken hand removed), Near decided that some pitying words were in order. "I offer you my condolences. Your hand may never fully recover." Matt could only manage a weak smile as he clutched Heath closer to his chest. "On the other hand, if you haven't been using protection by now, then you deserve another child to teach you that there are consequences for stupidity."

"Give him a break," Light mumbled, looking like he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to have two screaming children in his life soon.

"Since you and L copulate like bunnies, I would suggest birth control over condoms," Near offered. After all, it looked like his elders weren't smart enough to figure things like that out for themselves.

"Has he started complaining about you not loving him yet?" Matt asked hoarsely, memories flashing through his hyperactive mind.

Light actually whimpered. "That really happens?"

Matt nearly broke down in tears. "It's all happening again…"

Near decided that he no longer had a reason for feeling ashamed that he and Gevanni had never had sex with each other. As a matter of fact, he was seriously considering keeping it that way forever.

~_~_~_~_~_

"L, we have a serious problem!" Light yelled as soon as he entered the roomy house.

The black-haired man turned his head away from the baby channel to take in the agitated man. "Yes? Are they out of laundry detergent?"

Holding out the bag, he shook his head, beautifully kept hair swishing around. "No! I got the detergent!"

"Then hand it over," L commanded.

Sighing, he walked over and gave the "silky smooth, fresh natural outdoor scent" detergent to his boyfriend. L grinned and held the bottle to his chest like a child who had received candy. Opening up the bottle, he closed his eyes and took a wiff of the creamy liquid.

"Don't try to eat any this time," Light warned. "I will smack you."

L just pouted. "That's spousal abuse. Do you want the children taken away because of your nasty temper?"

"We're not even married."

"That's right. We don't even have sex."

"Let's not go through this again, ok?"

"I'm still horny. I might hire a prostitute if you won't fulfill my needs."

"L, you're a fucking adult. Handle it yourself if you're not strong enough to hold off for a few months."

"Says the man who I caught jerking off to our home-made sex tapes."

"Shut up."

Shrugging, L returned his attention back to his precious laundry detergent. If Light wasn't going to give him some attention, he was going to ignore him. The Asian sighed heavily and collapsed on the couch beside L and stared blankly at the images of babies flashing across the screens. After a few minutes, the older man couldn't help himself, so he screwed the detergent top on and snuggled into Light's side. "Didn't you say that there was some kind of serious problem?"

"Shit!" Light exclaimed as he jumped up, promptly dumping L on the floor. "That's right, we're screwed!"

"Actually, neither of us have been screwed in quite a while."

"L, can you keep you mind out of the gutters for a freakin' second?!" L pouted and stared up at the frustrated brunette. "What I was going to tell you is that my mother had been so upset that I didn't go visit them for the winter break, that she's bringing my family here for Spring Break!!"

"You're right. That's rather unfortunate."

"Unfortunate?! This is a disaster!"

"Light-chan, may I make a suggestion?" Light nodded, hoping that L wasn't going to say something profoundly stupid. "We're the two smartest people on this planet. I would like to suggest that if we put our minds to use, we'd be able to find a solution."

There was a god somewhere. "You're right. I guess…well, I just know my family! They're always difficult, so I was hoping to keep them away from you."

L smiled at the boy's thoughtfulness. "It'll be fine. Besides, I think that our biggest concern is breaking the news to your parents that they'll be grandparents soon. July isn't that far away."

"That's true. I guess we'll have to start off slowly…"

As Light fell deep into thought, a wicked grin spread across L's face. If Light wasn't going to give him sex, he was just going to have to take it. Forcefully, if need be. But he highly doubted it. Light was younger than he was so surely he was having a harder time controlling his urges. Not wanting to waste any more precious time, he pounced on the Asian and began to ravage his soft velvet lips. Light tried to say something, but the detective wouldn't have any of that. He nipped and sucked, pulling every trick out of the hat that he could. Pausing to let the man under him catch his breath, L leaned back and licked his lips.

"I'd suggest that you take it like a man and just fuck me. After all, you'd hate to have your ass pounded by a pregnant man, wouldn't you, Light-chan?"

Light blushed as he imagined L trying to top him, but the image of L having a miscarriage because of such a strenuous activity made him shake his head. No, he wouldn't let it get to that. If L really wanted his ass fucked, then fuck his ass Light would. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't find it in himself to fight the urges at the moment. Those tapes were nowhere near as good as L was.

"Fine, but we're going to do this my way."

"As long as I get laid, it's fine by me."

"Good, then we're headed to the bed. I refuse to have you stress out the babies by indulging in risky sex." L huffed, but Light pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. "Don't worry. Just because I'm not screwing you seven ways from Sunday doesn't mean that you won't enjoy it." His sadistic grin curled up beautifully, sending pleasurable tingles down L's spine. "I guarantee that you'll be screaming."

"And if I don't?" L purred, loving a good challenge.

"I'll let you do that thing with the vibrator to me."

Oh hell, if that wasn't a turn on, then nothing was.

~_~_~_~_~_

Spring Break had come far too quickly for Light's tastes, but he had no choice in the matter. A god he may be in his in-progress novel, Death Note, but a god he was not in the real world. How sad. Glancing over at L nervously, he had to bite his tongue in order to keep his body from getting too excited. The older man was struggling to put on the leg warmers that Near loaned him (he had enough sense not to ask why the kid had legwarmers) due to the giant stomach he was toting around. Because he was carrying twins, L had ended up growing a bigger stomach faster than Mello. The blond kid was still able to hide his pregnancy under baggy shirts, but poor L had to resort to maternity wear so that he wouldn't stretch out his shirts.

Letting his eyes roam further up those sinfully perfect legs, he noted in appreciation that the miniskirt L was wearing was short enough to keep Light's attention and long enough to cover his manliness from the prying eyes of Light's family. The black skirt also had a touch of lace around the bottom edge in an attempt at making it a little more feminine. Not that a skirt needed help looking feminine. And then the poison green shirt L was wearing fit his form very well. It kept the entire belly covered while at the same time complimenting L's otherwise lanky figure.

"Are you ready?" Light asked softly as he moved towards the struggling man.

L nibbled his thumb cutely as he watched Light easily slip the extra clothing on. "I suppose."

It was surprising that L's voice had gotten a little higher due to the amount of estrogen running through his body, but Light still wondered if it was too deep for a girl. After all, he had finally been able to tell his parents that he had knocked up someone, but there had been no chance to explain that it was a man. Therefore, L was forced to dress up and act like a girl for the whole two weeks. Not that he minded too terribly. Tying L's shoes on for him, Light looked up at his gorgeous lover and smiled endearingly. All those motherly vibes coming from L had been putting him in a good mood lately.

"You make a pretty ugly girl, L," he teased, rubbing the other's milky calves.

"Hey, you're the one who knocked me up, so no complaining about how I look now." L grinned childishly and giggled when Light pressed a soft kiss to the swollen abdomen. "Oof, I think your son wants you to give him another kiss." A soft flutter of kicks swept across his belly making Light laugh.

"All right, but just one more." Light stroked L's belly tenderly, feeling for each twin before he leaned down and planted a kiss on each one.

"I think you kissed his butt," L deadpanned, but Light just swatted him on the arm.

"Let's get downstairs. They'll be here any minute."

With a giant heave, L got off of his rocking chair and walked down the stairs arm-in-arm with Light. No sooner had they reached the living room than the doorbell rang. The two lovers shared a worried look before nodding firmly. It was just two weeks, they could do it. Light grabbed the handle and pulled open the door to reveal his excited family.

"Light!!!"

"Light-chan!"

"Honey!!!!!!!"

The said boy was tackled to the ground by his overeager family. His mother was planting kisses all over his face, his little sister was babbling excitedly about getting to be an aunt, and his father was proudly hugging him.

"Oh hell, Dad's actually hugging me. Am I going to die now?"

"Oh, Honey, how are you doing? You're looking so good and this house is sooo nice! How did you manage-?"

A gruff cough caught everyone's attention. As one, the Yagami family turned to see L standing in the living room with his thumb in his mouth.

"Welcome," he greeted.

Blushing in embarrassment, the entire family jumped up at attention. Soichiro coughed discreetly and held out his hand for a handshake. "It's a pleasure to finally get to meet you, Elle."

L looked at the man's hand as if it were infected before deciding take a hold of his palm with his own forefinger and thumb. He then proceeded to carry out the strange handshake. "The pleasure is mine, Yagami-san."

As Mrs. Yagami stepped forward to give L a hug, Sayu leaned closer to her nervous brother. "She's got kind of a deep voice, doesn't she?" the girl whispered innocently.

"Don't mention that, Sayu, that's rude," he whispered back. "She's very pregnant and very sensitive so don't be mean."

"Okay, okay, just sayin'."

Light stiffened as he saw his mother give L an awkward hug, but she didn't seem to notice anything unusual about the heavily pregnant "girl". Nope, she was busy ooohing and ahhhing over the gigantic belly.

"Hey, why don't we all sit down?" Light offered, slipping next to his nervous boyfriend. "L shouldn't be on her feet that much."

"Oh, goodness, you're right!" Mrs. Yagami squeaked. "Sit down, dear!"

Once they were all situated in the living room (L and Light on the love seat and the rest of the family opposite of them), the interrogation began.

"This is such a nice house, Light! How do you manage to afford it all? Surely not with the money we send."

"He probably has a job," Mr. Yagami replied with a puffed chest. "A good paying job if I do say so myself."

"What kind of job, nii-san?" Sayu asked excitedly.

"A-actually, I don't have one right now," he muttered in embarrassment. His father looked surprise. "L bought this house, but it's under my name." He thought that leaving out the fact that L burned down their last place and was thus forbidden from buying another house was the appropriate thing to do.

"Elle?" him mother repeated in surprise. "But how could you afford such an expensive house?"

"I'm an heir…ess." Sweet, nice save. "I actually have quite a bit of money, and didn't know what to do with it. So, naturally, I decided to spend it all on Light." He smiled sweetly at his lover.

"So it wasn't your money?" Mr. Yagami pushed.

Light sighed. "No, it wasn't, Dad. I only get the money that you guys send, so it would be impossible for me to afford something like this on my own."

The stern Japanese father frowned deeper. "But how do you plan on providing for your family?"

"Once I'm finished with school, I'll get a job. It's no big deal."

"Son, your girlfriend is about to pop. Are you saying that she's going to be providing for you until you graduate?"

Ugh, he knew that his dad was going to freak out over their arrangement. Maybe he wouldn't be so mad if he knew that L was actually a guy. Then again…he'd probably kill Light if he knew L was a man. Not looking good either way.

"Yes, we've decided to have it like that. This way, I can focus on my schooling and raising my son for his first and most important year of life. After that, I'll get a job that will allow me to spend as much time as possible with him." Yes, Light never mentioned the fact that L was carrying twins. Baby steps, baby steps! His parents needed time to adjust to these things.

"Look, we're proud of all of your accomplishments, Light, but it's time that you become a man! You've gotten a girl pregnant, and it's time to step up. By the way, why weren't you using protection? Didn't school teach you that kind of stuff?" His dad sure had a way with words.

Everyone but Soichiro was blushing at that statement. "Dear, don't antagonize your son," Sachiko mumbled. "We've only been here for a few minutes…" The older man's frown deepened, but he didn't push anymore. Mrs. Yagami decided to pick up the conversation. "So, have you started dilating yet?"

L looked a little mortified about being asked about his non-existent vagina, but he replied promptly. "Of course not! I'm only five months pregnant."

The family's mouths dropped open. "B-but, you're huge!" Sayu protested.

"Mom! Didn't you teach her any manners?" Light screeched hoping that L's mood swing wouldn't decide to make a debut at that moment. He cast a glance at his lover and saw an annoyed look being directed at him. Ok, so he was going to have to tell his parents another piece of the news. Now. "Um, Mom? Dad?"

His entire family turned their full attention on him and he could practically feel his face glowing. "Yes?" Mr. Yagami encouraged gruffly.

"Well, L and I wanted to wait until you got here to share some more news." Now everyone was hanging on the edge of their seats. "Actually, we're having twins."

The squeals of delight from his mother and sister were nearly deafening. Sayu launched on top of L, hugging him and kissing his forehead and Sachiko was just giggling and holding a hand over her mouth. Light's dad just glared at him more firmly. "That's sooooo cool! I'll be an auntie to two babies!!! Are they boys? Girls?"

L firmly pushed the excited girl off of him and wrinkled his nose in disgust from such intimate contact. Only Light was allowed to hold him or kiss him. "I'm carrying a boy and a girl."

"Ooooh, what're their names?!"

"Sayu, please stop shouting," Light sighed, rubbing his ears. "And we haven't decided on names yet."

"Let me help!" she cried desperately, clinging to her brother's leg and shooting puppy eyes at him with all her might. "Pretty please?"

Light looked to his lover for help, but L just glared at him. This was going to be a long two weeks.

~_~_~_~_~_

"I think we should go on a vacation," L muttered as he collapsed backward on their shared bed. Light's parents weren't exactly thrilled with their son sleeping with his unmarried and pregnant "girlfriend", but L absolutely refused to do otherwise. He was not going to share a room with the little hellion known as Sayu or the overly doting Sachiko.

"It's tempting," Light sighed as he helped L get undressed. The older man was too tired to do it himself, so he just laid there while Light did all the work. "But still, they're my family."

"Yes, your family."

"Hey, that's not fair. I've had to deal with your nutcase family for years, so don't complain about being with my family for two damn weeks."

L turned to his side grumpily and refused to acknowledge the younger man. Sighing again, the Asian just went about his nightly routine before shutting off the light and sliding in behind his British lover. His tanned hands eased over the stressed out man's back before sliding over the stretched skin of his stomach. He rubbed little circles against the distended flesh, loving the way that he could feel the twins.

"Light?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you…am I really that big?"

Ah, the big question. Good thing Matt had already prepped him for it. "L, you're not huge. Yes, you're big, but that's because you have two human babies growing inside of you. It's nothing to be ashamed about."

"Does it make me any less attractive?" he mumbled sadly. "Please be honest. I'll completely understand it if you are repulsed by my obese body and I won't ask for sex any more."

Pulling L to face him, Light looked straight into those onyx eyes. He wanted L to see him, to look him in the eye and know that he was being completely honest. "I love you. I wouldn't care if you were three hundred pounds or if you were fifty. I love you. Not only that, but you're the hottest thing on this damn planet, and I fully intend to fuck your brains out until the day I die."

The girly giggle L let slip only made Light's smile widen. "What if I die first?" he teased. "After all, I'm the old one."

Light grinned pervertedly. "Ah, the wonders of modern science."

"You're so gross!"

With an arm beside L's face to support his weight, Light leaned in and gently took the other's lips. There wasn't any need for tongue or roughness because he just wanted to show his love for the eccentric boyfriend. It was ok to just press chaste kisses, and only the sound of their lips clicking against each other was heard. At least, for the first 30 seconds.

"Want to prove that you still love me?" L enticed with a sultry wink.

Light practically drooled eagerly. "Hell yeah."

Down the hall…

"Mom? What's that sound?"

Sachiko pulled a pillow over her daughter's virgin ears while Soichiro grumbled obscenities. "Nothing."

~_~_~_~_~_

By the end of the week, L had stretched his nerves as far as they would go and was ready to explode. He had been careful not to reveal his true gender, but it had been hard. With the family around 24/7, he wasn't allowed to walk around the house half-naked (or naked) and he and Light had to keep their love-making in the bedroom at night. Being a solitary creature, the raven-haired man was also finding it quite hard to deal with so many people for so long.

"Make them go," he begged Light.

"Look, they'll only be here for one more day! Can't you just suck it up until then?"

"No, I bloody hell cannot!" Now it was time for a hissy fit. "If they don't get out, I'm going over to Mello's! This is just too fucking much!"

"Now you're just being ridiculous, L," Light hissed.

L yanked a maternity shirt over his chest, not bothering to put pants or anything else on. "No, I'm not! I'm sick of the squealing, the touching, the awing, and a hell of a lot of other stuff! You're not the one dealing with it, so shut the fuck up!"

"You're the one acting like a kid, just throwing a damn hissy fit!"

"Well I'm not taking this sh-" With a loud thud, L turned and ran right into the closet door.

"Hell, are you ok?!" Light gasped as he ran over to check on his injured boyfriend.

"Light, what's going on?" Sachiko called out worriedly.

Then, being the macho man that he was, Soichiro kicked down the door to investigate. "Did you just hit Elle?!"

Both boys looked up in shock and that's when Mr. Yagami noticed something strange. "Elle" was wearing boxer briefs. Tight boxer briefs. Tight enough to show a certain part that one wouldn't expect a woman to have.

"Dad?" Light squeaked seeing his father pale considerably."

The older man collapsed to the floor in a dead faint, slightly foaming at the mouth.

"…That's getting kind of old…"

~_~_~_~_~_

"Are you happy now?" Light grumbled as he and L sat on their back porch.

L was sucking away happily on his ice cream bar dipped in ketchup, but he paused to reply. "Yes. It's unfortunate that things had to end like that, but at least we don't have to worry about telling them later."

"He disowned me. We won't be seeing them ever again."

"I wouldn't worry too much," L comforted. "There's a 97% chance that he'll take you back once he's had time to thing over things. Besides, your mother will nag at him until he does."

Light sighed and shook his head. "I suppose so."

Nothing but the sound of the wind blowing through the trees interrupted them. The sun peeked through the clouds, kissing their skin gently.

"Want to go shopping for baby clothes?" L tried, still slurping away on his disgusting treat. "Shopping always makes you feel better."

Tossing his head to get the bangs out of his eyes, Light shrugged. "I guess. We need to make sure that the stuff is color-coded, though."

Staring at Light (who was currently checking his fingernails for any flaws), L wondered why his family was so shocked at hearing that he was gay. Seriously.

~_~_~_~_~_

"What up, bitch?" Mello drawled as he inhaled another chocolate bar.

L sat heavily next to him and sighed. "It's hot."

"Yeah. Matt can't figure out how to fix the fucking AC. You'd think all his skills would be of some use, but no. He's worthless."

Heath was happily playing on the floor with his numerous toys and the two child-bearing men just watched. L began to fan himself with a magazine before the picture on the cover made him take a closer look. "Er, why do you guys have Playboy? I mean, besides it being out in the open, aren't you two gay?"

Mello just rolled his eyes. "Matt gets in these moods where he wants me to try different poses. I got sick of coming up with them on my own, so I needed a reference book"

L shuddered as he pulled out the centerfold. "That's disgusting."

The blond-haired devil just chuckled. "Maybe you should try that pose? Light-post might never recover from the blood loss." Just then, the door clicked open, and a sweaty Matt walked in, panting. "Tch, look at you," Mello teased, "so fucking hot and sweaty."

Matt blushed and moved one of the grocery bags in front of him. "Sorry I took so long."

Licking his lips slowly, Mello just stared at the brunette hungrily. "I think you need a spanking, Mattie," he purred as he stroked his thigh enticingly.

"Ah, please remember that I'm still here," L interrupted before the idiot gamer ravished the idiot blond. "Besides, your son is out here. Have some decency."

"I bet you're just pissy because that Light-post won't give you any," Mello shot back. "Matt knows better than to deny me."

"He just doesn't want to induce an early labor," the hunched man mumbled.

"Tell him that he doesn't have a choice! Whip him into submission if you need to. Besides, it's already June and you're gonna have the kids at any minute."

"But I'm due in July," L protested, trying to ignore his stomach cramps. They had been bothering him all day, but he figured that his insides were probably all bruised up from his active twins.

"Duh, you're having twins. That means you'll be delivering early." Mello rubbed his stomach thoughtfully as he watched Matt slip into their kitchen. "Hey, do you know if Near ever broke down and popped his cherry?"

L shook his head. "Gevanni's been pushing, but Near still isn't comfortable enough."

"What's there to be comfortable about?" Mello snickered.

"Unlike you, Near hasn't ever had someone to completely trust and rely on. It's not easy for him to give out a precious piece of himself like that."

Another wrapper was torn open. "So…was it hard for you to open up to Light like that?"

A smile curled on his pale and weary face. "Yes, it was. I may not have acted like it, but I was very nervous when we had sex for the first time."

Mello just laughed harshly. "I'm surprised that Mattie didn't run away screaming after our first time. I didn't take it easy on him at all!"

"He's a beast," Matt sniffled as he came in from the kitchen and slid onto the floor next to his son. "A cruel beast."

This time, L couldn't help the wince. Mello perked up and examined his mentor. "Hey, you're not looking too hot. Are you ok?"

"Ah, I'll be…fine." He rubbed his temples in an attempt to wish away the pain. "I think it's the heat; and the twins have been extremely active recently, so it might just be bruising."

Mello didn't looked convinced at all. Instead, he leaned over and pressed a hand against the quivering roundness of L's stomach. "How long have you been feeling this pain?" he questioned, his voice a bit higher.

"Ten hours," L grunted feeling utterly exhausted.

"At consistent increments?"

L looked up at the water stained ceiling. "…Yes, I suppose so."

"Holy shit on a stick, you're having contractions!!!"

Matt's eyes widened and he jumped to his feet, far more prepared this round of birthing babies. He didn't even need instructions and instead grabbed Heath and his stuff as well as the emergency baby bag should Mello freak out and go into labor as well. Mello grabbed L's arm and helped him up while he dialed Light.

"Yesss?" came the exhausted reply.

"It's L! He's having the baby right now and if you don't come you'll miss it all and you better not because not only will I kill you but L won't be happy and their your kids too and-"

"H-hold up…did you just say that the babies are coming?"

"Yeah."

"Fucking hell why didn't you say so sooner?!!!"

"Just get to the hospital!"

An hour later found all of the family gathered at the hospital where Dr. Hawthorne was preparing for the c-section. L was managing to remain calm, but Mello and Near were nervously at his side, asking if there was anything that they could do. Matt was in charge of the camera as he expertly carried Heath in a baby sling. Super Dad was on a role.

"Are you ready, Light?" Matt asked the nervous wreck of a father.

"Hold up, I'm calling my mom," he hissed at the intruding camera. "Oh, Mom?" He paused for a moment, tears welling in his eyes. "L's…he's having the baby. I…y-yes. Can you…yes. Dad? No, I'm not asking for forgiveness!"

"Do you have to do this now?" Near hissed. Even he knew better and he was socially retarded.

Light shot him an annoyed glance then turned his attention back to the conversation. "I-I'm not going to leave L! I'm in love with him, and he's having my damn babies right now, so you can either be happy with me and share this moment or be an ass and not care that you're about to become a grandfather."

"Wow," Matt mouthed to Mello before turning the camera back to the emotional man. Boy were those twins going to mock their dad when they got old enough to watch this.

"Alright, just don't stress him out. Ok." Light pressed the speaker button on the phone.

"L, honey, are you okay?" came Mrs. Yagami's voice.

"Well, I'm about to have my stomach sliced open and my intestines shoved out of the way before they proceed to pull two babies out of me. Considering that, I think that I'm doing fine."

"Y-you'll be…fine," Mr. Yagami tried.

"Thank you, father-san."

"Don't push your luck."

"Dad!"

"Um, it's time to start," Dr. Hawthorne stated.

Light handed the phone to Mello and took his place on L's other side. They intertwined their fingers and L looked up lovingly into Light's teary eyes. "I love you," he mumbled, kissing the tanned fingers.

"I love you too," Light replied with a sniffle.

Matt began giving a play-by-play on what the doctors were doing until Mello kicked him and demanded that he shut up. "No one wants to hear what's going on the other side of that tent-thingy," he hissed.

"Then…why the hell am I recording this?"

Before L could tell them to both shut up, an unhappy cry rang out, and Light burst into tears complete with sobbing.

"It's a girl!" the doctor called out excitedly, before handing the squirming child to a nurse. "And here we have…yep, here's the boy!"

L's childish grin curled up and he sighed in relief. "Wow, I really did it." He winked weakly at Mello. "Told you so."

"Heh, just wait until you get home," Mello snickered, patting L's shoulder.

Both bundles were carried over to the excited parents and L took them into his pale arms. Tiny faces scrunched up unhappily, not used to being outside of their mother's warm body. "They're so beautiful," Light said, the tears running down his face.

"I'm a grandmother now," Mrs. Yagami cried happily. "Congratulations, the both of you!"

Matt stared at the scene and tilted his head. "Wow…is it normal for all kids to be ugly when they're born?"

For future reference: never insult Mello's, L's, or Light's babies. EVER. And no, having a child on your hip doesn't spare you.


Author's Notes: So there it is! I hope that you guys have enjoyed this. Thank you for all the reviews/alerts/favorites but as always I would appreciate some more reviews. :3

And, I absolutely have to do it. My dearest ToNightIamgone, here is what was promised. To everyone else, please have the honor of witnessing the marriage ceremonies between this fic and ToNightIamgon. XD

Me: Do you, ToNightIamgone take this fic, Dear L, to be your beloved story from now and to forever, 'till death do you part?

ToNightIamgone: (I assume you'll say "I do")

Me: Dear L, do you take this lovely writer, ToNightIamgone, to be your caring partner from now and to forever, 'till death do you part?

L: Do I have to answer this? I mean, a story can't logically answer such a question.

Light: I refuse to allow that crazed writer marry my L!!!

Me: Er, I believe that the story is the one getting married, not L...

Mello: Wait, before you carry on with such a ridiculous ceremony, shouldn't you marry us characters off? What kind of example are you giving to the readers?

Me: Like you're one to talk. Beating Matt into submission on your first night together? Aren't you the uke?

Mello: -click of a gun-

Me: I PRONOUNCE YOU FICTIN AND WRITER!!!!! -runs-