Rated: T

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first attempt at a Romance/Angst one-shot. This story takes place after the final episode of season seven, and after the Angel episode "You're Welcome". This also takes place before the season 8 adventures that I plan on doing in the future. Hey! The comics were good, but you know, I wanted to make my own version of season 8, and I decided to get this story posted before I continue with the Buffy/Twilight crossover fic "Sanctuary"ok. On with the story….

PAIRING: Xander/Cordelia and a brief hint of Xander/Anya.

One-Shot fic. Not a crossover fic.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of the show's characters. They belong to Joss Wheadon, Mutant Enemy and FOX. so please do not sue! I am broke and I am not worth suing.

FEEDBACK/REVIEWS: I am on my knees, begging for reviews!!!



Xander Harris was at the living room, watching TV. Along with his friends Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Faith Lehane, Rupert Giles, Robin Wood, Willow Rosenberg, Andrew and the newly risen slayers Rona, Vi, Chao-Ahn, and Kennedy were at the hotel room on their way to the next hellmouth, Cleveland. There was one moment that Xander would have never see coming. Not at all. It began with a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Buffy shouted from nearby. Willow then arrived, watching and observing what was about to happen. Buffy answered the door, and to her surprise, it was Angel, her once boyfriend.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, "What is it?"

"I got….I got some news to tell Xander," Angel announced solemnly, "I must tell him, but I need to be alone with him though."

"What about me?" Xander asked. He looked at the vampire as soon as he heard his name being said.

"Angel wants a word with you, alone." Buffy said. Xander turned off the TV and was willing to hear what Angel was going to tell him. Buffy left the guys by themselves. Unknown to them, Willow was watching the conversation.

Xander looked at Angel and he had this expression of sadness on his face.

"Angel," Xander asked, "What's wrong?"

It took Angel a minute to speak up and alas he finally did, "It's….Cordelia."

"Cordelia Chase?"

Angel nodded. Xander had an expression of worry on his face, "Is she ok? What happened?"

"I'm….I'm sorry to tell you this," Angel announced solemnly, "But….she's dead."

Xander's mouth dropped open as a small gasp came out of him. He was in shock the moment that he had said those terrible words. It didn't even matter if he screamed those words, his expression would've stayed the same. Xander backed into a wall, "Cordelia."

He kept on repeating this sole word, "Cordelia….Cordelia…"

Xander had remembered all the events he had been told that had lead to her death. Cordelia had received the power of vision, which was given to her by a half demon Doyle by a kiss. These visions were slowly killing her and eventually was a higher being than a human and eventually she was sent to another dimension. She later returned but she was possessed by a supernatural being, and she had a daughter named Jasmine. After all that, Cordelia fell into a post-natal coma, which lead to her eventual death. Xander knew it! He just knew that those powers she had caused nothing but trouble! He knew that something like this would happen, he didn't know how or why he knew, but he just did. Why did he always have to be right about things like that?

Xander took a deep breath and exhaled as he remembered Cordelia Chase. He remembered seeing her pretty face, seeing her pretty smile and hearing her laugh. Cordelia was his first real love. Sure, he had crushes before and Willow was his best friend, but nothing compared to her. Not really. It's just that Cordelia was his first love, and he loved her so much. He wasn't too surprised that she had turned him down, it was simply because she was with Harmony Kendall and her pals. Eventually, she rejected the Cordettes for him. Xander was surprised and even happy more than anything when he found out that she rejected the popular crowd. Deep down, she did care for Xander, Buffy, Giles and maybe even Willow and as well as Angel.

It was a spell. A damn spell that Willow did that caused Cordelia to hate him and reject him once more. Spike came back to Sunnydale and had Willow to do a spell that would get his then girlfriend Drusilla to love him once more. The spell came with hell of consequences which ended Cordelia's relationship with him. Xander sort of blamed Willow for the incident that happened, but in the end, it was Spike he hated for the incident more than anyone. It was all Spike's fault that this incident even happened.

Later on at the prom, a tax fraud caused her family to lose their wealth therefore Cordelia had made peace with Xander at the Senior prom. Three and a half weeks after graduation day came and gone, Cordelia left Sunnydale to work with Angel, a vampire with a soul, in LA.

Looking back on those memories, Xander thought about Cordelia and wondered if only he could turn back time, if he could re-live a few moments, if he do some events over, maybe Cordelia would still be alive and with him, and if had once wish he'd pick to see Cordelia once more over getting a new eye, and getting rid of the eye patch on his face. Xander wished that he could turn back time or maybe make a wish that could bring Cordelia back.

Then Xander suddenly remembered when Anya was killed, it was in the final battle of Sunnydale. Anya and Cordelia were alike in so many ways, there was something in both of them that Xander had liked, but now they were dead. Gone forever. Not only did he lose Anya, but he lost Cordelia as well. God, he wished that his life wasn't a living hell like he had been through. Though, he knew what the risk was when he joined Buffy and her vampire-slaying team. He just wished things turned out differently than it had did. Xander had to face it, both Anya and Cordelia were dead, and there was nothing he could do to bring them back.

"Xander?" Angel's voice pulled Xander from his thoughts, "Are you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah. I'll be ok." Xander replied, trying not to cry as some tears streamed down his face, "I'll be ok. I'm gonna be ok. I'll be….I'll be…"

Xander had broke that vow that he made after Cordelia went to LA, and left Sunnydale. He wanted to get over Cordelia, but he didn't. He never had and he figured that he never would. Xander loved Cordelia. He still loved her! He loved her!

Xander couldn't help himself as he collapsed to his knees. Willow approached him, and cradled her sobbing friend in her arms. Angel did not really expect that movement. The vampire watched as Buffy stood next to him, also sad with the news that had been given out. Within minutes, Giles and Faith both arrived, also overhearing what has happened.

"It's ok." Willow said compassionately to Xander, "It's ok."

"I loved her." Xander sobbed, "I loved her so much. I loved her! I loved her! I LOVED HER! I LOVED HER SO MUCH!"

Willow continued to comfort a heartbroken Xander.

"I love you, Xander." Willow said in a soft tone.

Well, that was my first attempt at a one-shot fic. I hope I did really well. Loved it? Hated it? Please tell me what you think! I'll get my crossover story "Sanctuary" together really soon so stay tuned for my stories!