Dead and Back Again

Jane Bodehouse was sitting at the bar when I had started my shift at seven. She was still there at quarter to one, now ten sheets to the wind. I had called her son He would be here any minute. Tonight I actually envied her. In her drunken state numb to the world – yeah I could do with some of that. And from the mess of her thoughts everything was just hunky dory on planet Jane. Things were far from 'hunky dory' on planet Sookie. In the months since I had been tortured by two sadistic fairies. My outside scars may have healed (my bikini days where well and truly over), but the ones in my mind ran so deep I couldn't even fathom how to begin to heal them.

After Sam and I help Jane out of the bar we locked up for the evening. Sam walked me to my car. He looked like he was going to say something, but then to my relief thought better of it. I hopped into the car before he could change his mind. And drove off I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I knew everyone meant well but..... I felt....I felt.... arrgh! I hit the steering wheel the car swerved slightly. I wanted to scream till there was no more air in my lungs. I wanted to be strong but all I felt was weak. I was so angry at every one, at everything but most of all at me. My face was streaked with frustrated tears as I brought the car to a stop. I looked up realising that I had somehow managed to get home.

The security light came on as I hurried up the back steps I let myself in and bolted the door behind me. With my hand on my chest I slowed my heart rate down this was the hardest thing about coming home at night. They had taken me at night right outside my house. My house. I walked over to the sink I gulped greedily at the glass of water I poured myself trying to rid myself of the dry mouth my panic had inflicted. I noticed three new messages flashing on my machine. I looked at it, and then shook my head I just couldn't deal with even listening to anyone tonight.

I had made my way to my bedroom. I prepared myself for bed, washing my face and brushing my teeth. The sheets where cool on my skin I curled into a ball on bed and waited for the sleep to take me.

I tossed and turned. When sleep finally claimed me I found myself in the little shack, Arlene was there cutting me her mouth twisted in a nasty snarl. I turn my head only to see Lochlan sinking his teeth in to my breast. I had to get away I fought, I kicked and punched as two powerful arms held me in a vice grip. My breath was now coming in ragged heaves as I fought the vice grip on "I've got you" the grip loosened "Sookie, my lover" I felt myself get bundled up "Eric?" I rasped. "Sookie it was just a bad dream" I felt Eric's grip on me tighten and he just rocked me, as I sobbed he stroked my hair.

When I calmed down I wiped my face with the cuff of my PJ's. I looked up and saw the faint glow of my vampire still not sure if was awake or asleep. Eric leaned over and putting my bedside light on. As if he read my mind he said "I felt your rising fear and panic"

"Oh" I mumbled, "so you came all the way from Shreveport? Can you feel me from that far?"

"No and Yes" he said as he kissed the top of my head "I was over at Bill's"

"Bill's? .....Is he okay?" I asked. Bill was my 1st love and former boyfriend, we had a complicated history. But now all I could see was the man who rescued me from those things, who was willing to die for me. He loved me and I him. Not a romantic love but a deep respect I guess in some funny way he felt like family.

"Bill is fine he has recovered well" Eric said rather curtly. Bill was not Eric's favourite topics by any stretch of the imagination. "I'd rather talk about you" he said in a soft voice

"Not tonight" not any night I thought. What was there to talk about? How my stubbornness had robbed me of my best friend, her boyfriend, my great grandfather, my cousin Claudine and her little baby..... it was just too horrible to think about. How people had died because of me. Because I was so dumb to ask for help and then when it was offered well it had to be my way or the high way....... if I had just gone and stayed with Eric, Amelia wouldn't have moved back to New Orleans. Claudine would be alive, hell they may all still be alive. Worry flashed across the bond. Yeah I'd be worried too if I was bonded to such a loser. I felt sorry for myself that made me feel so weak. I was a Stackhouse. My Gran would...... no, my Gran would hold me and tell me everything was gonna be alright – I missed her, with such a longing.

"We have to talk sometime" Eric urged softly

"I said NO" untangling myself from his arms I sprang up and scrambled to the bathroom, locking the door behind me I stood for several minutes just gripping the sides of the sink, I let out a deep sigh. I washed my face and took care of my human needs as Pam would call it. Gathered up my energy and went back into the bedroom Eric was now lying in my bed his jeans fold at the end of it. He was the most beautiful, sexy guy I'd ever seen..... I felt my girl parts stir. He held back the covers watching me as I made my way across the room. I slid in beside him and snuggled up next to him.

I loved the way he smelt, his cologne mixed with the special dry smell of a vampire. He smelt safe, warm, reassuring. I could feel my nipples stiffen as I breathed in his scent. I looked up at his face I could see his fangs had run down a little. I placed my hand on his growing bulge

"My lover, I think you are trying to distract me" the "me" coming out rather higher pitched than the rest as I push my hand into his boxer shorts.

I smiled at him, "Eric" "Mmmm" he murmured "make love to me" with that his mouth found mine. I kissed him urgently his hands held my face I wrapped my arms around him and held him so tightly, as if any second he would be ripped from arms. He kissed my face he moved down to my neck licking and kissing me. As soon as his fang scraped my neck I felt my body stiffen, I felt panic rise. Eric stopped what he was doing "what's wrong?" his face full of concern. I couldn't even look at him I put my hand over my eyes took a deep breath and said "I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to say it" I began. I removed my hand from over my eyes and looked at him, I owed him that much. "They bit me it was a game to them the thought of someone biting me again is just repugnant, I am sorry." With that the tears started to fall. I rolled over on my side brought my knees up and held myself. I wouldn't blame him if he got up and walked out never wanted anything to do with me again. Pam was right I was so much trouble. After Eric had given me so much blood to heal me, I couldn't even let him take some during sex. I never felt so frustrated the pain in my chest just swelled as I realised that this relationship as far as being intimate was concerned was over. "Just, go" I sobbed.

I felt Eric get up off the bed, I heard him pull on his jeans and he left the room. I just sobbed harder when I heard the front door close. I felt intense anger and frustration flood the bond, then rage, cold hard rage. I thought it wasn't possible to feel any worse than I did but I managed it.

I thought I heard a loud ripping sound, tried to steady my breathing and listen, I heard a growl followed by an almighty crash. Jesus Christ what was that? I ran towards the living room looking out of the window I could see Eric. If I ever doubt Eric was strong, there would be no doubt left after I saw him pick up a huge tree and hurl it was if it was no lighter than a stick. Just then Bill appeared at the window scaring me half to death. He walked over to the door and I let him in.

"Are you ok? If he's hurt you" Bill snarled.

"I am fine" well as fine as anyone can be with a 1000 year old vampire tearing up the front yard.

"What happened, why Eric is so mad, did you have a fight" Bill said putting his arm around me as he led me to the couch.

"No, it's complicated and none of your business" I really did not want to have this conversation with my Ex.

Bill got up and looked out of the window, placing his hands in his pockets he shook his head. "I've never seen him like this" as another almighty crack reverberated around the room.

I got up "Bill would you like a tru blood?" in a time of crisis at least you could always count on manners.

In the darkness of the living room I could just make out Bill smirking. "Something funny Bill?"

"No, you just remind me of my wife" "– from when I was human" he added as though it wasn't obvious. He fixed me with his dark look.

"How so?" This was a 1st Bill rarely talked about his human life, he wasn't the sharing kinda guy.

"My wife would cure the world with tea and southern hospitality" he mused "the house could be burning down around us and she would calmly ask if anyone wanted tea."

I smiled "I think I would have liked her, now how about that blood?"Smiling even harder

"Yes, yes you would have, she was a good woman and thank you that would be nice" he said ever the polite southern gentleman.

I busyied myself in the kitchen, when I returned with the blood and a sweet tea for myself, Bill was still standing looking out the window, turning slightly towards me he took the bottle out of my hand. Nodding towards the window he said "on the Brightside you'll have wood for the next few winters" you have got to love his sense of humour.

I snickered, looking out the window sipping my sweet tea I retorted "you think he'll cut it up for me and store it out the back?"

Bill looked over at me and gave me one of his rare smiles. For a moment our eyes locked, bill broke the gaze first but there had been a moment there. I could feel calm returning to the bond; Bill must have noticed too as he stiffened "Eric is coming"

"I know" placing my glass on the side table.

The front door opened in came a dishevelled looking Viking the front of his t-shirt was caked in forest, bits of twigs stuck out of his once tidy hair, his hands where bloody and black with dirt. "Compton" he spat "Get out!" Eric's fangs where fully out as where Bill's.

Bill looked at me, "Now" Eric barked.

My own rage exploded "Now wait a minute buster" I shrilled "I'll not tolerate rudeness in my house" with that all the bubbles of emotion, tension and nervous energy rose to the surface as laughter "oh my god I sound like my gran" moving backwards clutching my sides I laughed as I hit the couch causing me to sit down. Bill and Eric looked at each other and then at me then back at each other not sure what to make of my outburst. This only served to make me to laugh even harder. Emotionally I was all over the place. Tonight I certainly lived up to my reputation of being crazy.

I thought at the absurdity of it all. Not one but two vampires in my living which could rip out my throat in a heartbeat. There I was shouting at them. Laughing like a crazy woman concerned that I sounded like my Gran. Yes I had no sense of self preservation and now it looked like the little sanity I had left had clearly left the building too that much was clear.

Finally I regained control wiping tears of laughter that had escaped from the corners of my eyes. I cleared my throat stifled back down a giggle as I looked up at my two vampires, who's faces where now a pictures of puzzled concern. I waved my hand in front of my face in a finally attempt to regain full composure. "I am sorry" the corners of my mouth betraying me by twitching up.

With the situation somewhat diffused, Eric turned to Bill "Leave me, with my wife" as to drive home the fact I was his. Bill not one bit intimidated by the Viking (Bless him) came over held my hands kissed me on my cheek told me he would be right outside if I needed him. I rose to my feet telling him to go home it would not be necessary, as I walked over to the door shutting it behind him.

I looked up at Eric not sure of what to say, he simply walked past me, I followed him to my bedroom and he went into the bathroom I heard the shower switch on. I got back in bed as I thought of a very erotic shower I had. The memory stirred lust in me. Stupid Viking. As if Eric had picked up on my lust I felt his across the bond. Stupid bond.

Eric appeared at the door of the bathroom wearing only a towel. Small drops of water dripped off the ends of his long hair and ran down his muscular body in small rivulets. His fangs where nearly all the way down. Drinking in the sight of him I bit the inside of my cheek. He walked over to me. Still wearing the towel he bent down and kissed me slowly, deeply when I came up for air I could see the lust in his eyes. I could feel the lust in mine.

He started to unbutton my top, suddenly I felt self conscious I reach to turn out the light, Eric gently took my hand and kissed it saying in to the back of it. "No lover I want to see you, I want you to see me". I began to protest, powerful lips kissed mine any protest was extinguished by a very clever tongue. He continued to unbutton my top he pushed it off my shoulders helped me out of it. "Beautiful" his voice rich and thick, I turned my head away disgusted at my once smooth skin.

"Look at me" Eric said moving my head. He bent down kissing a crescent shaped scar on my shoulder "gorgeous" he spoke into my skin. Then he kissed a larger scar on my breast, moving slightly he kissed another one "magnificent" moving over to my other breast he kissed and licked another scar "Mmmm" kissing his way down to my abdomen he kiss a large long scar down my side "spectacular" he said kissing every inch of it. His wet hair trailed along leaving cool droplet on my skin, adding to the sensuousness of the experience.

After kissing every scar on my stomach he gently helped me shimmy out of my bottoms kissing every scar gently looking up he whispered "you are so beautiful" I was now so turned on I didn't care what I looked like. He hovered at my entrance with his mouth kissing and nuzzling my inner thighs "please" I said he slid his fingers into me moving gently at first, as if you gauge my readiness. I hadn't sex since I was tortured Eric had be patient, in the last two months we hardly spoke, due to my not returning calls and avoiding personnel contact with anyone.

I no longer wanted it to be so. "Please, I want you" suddenly Eric was on top of me. I reach between us stroking him at my entrance and then he pushed. I gasped at the pleasure of feeling him inside me. "Mine" He said as He thrust into me again slightly harder I cried out at the shock of it. Unable to keep my eyes open as I lost myself in his rhythm. "Lover look at me, don't hide yourself from me, you are my bonded" I opened my eyes only for them to brim with tears.

He was moving faster now pounding my pain away, a different kinda pain started to build, my nipples rubbed against his cool chest as we moved bringing me closer to the golden edge. All of sudden I wanted him to bite me I want to feel the pain and the ecstasy of his fangs in my flesh I tilted my head exposing my neck to him. "I want you to" I said as I offered my neck to him he licked the base of my neck. After a moment's hesitation I felt sharp pricks and as he dragged on the wounds I tumbled over the golden edge crying out his name. With one final thrust he rode his own wave of pleasure speaking a long forgotten language. He collapsed on top of me. I held him tightly his weight on me comforting as I felt the after tremors shoot through me.

I felt myself come back into the moment, as Eric shifted to the side of me still licking the wounds on my neck. "Sookie Stackhouse you are an extraordinary woman" he announced "Mmmm, why?" if I sounded like I was fishing for a compliment, it was because I was. "nobody in all my years can make me come the way you do, the taste of you, the smell of you excites me" "see" he said pressing into my leg, surly he couldn't be but he was. After another round of Grand Prix sex we lay in each other's arms sated and content.

Eric was the first to speak "tell me lover" I made a little noise acknowledging him. I loved the way he said lover it caused chills to run up and down my spine. "How long have you had the dreams?" he urged gently.

Stiffening slightly he softly stoked my back comforting me. "Since the week after I was attacked" I replied

"Do you have many?"

"Not as often as they were, but yeah"

"Lover why didn't you tell me" Eric had now shifted on to his front he was supporting himself with his forearms his gaze was both soft and intense as looked down on me.

"Eric I am a big girl, its bad enough seeing them in my dreams I don't need to talk about them too" trying to change the subject I said "you do realise I have one hell of a mess to tidy up in my front yard"

Eric looked slightly abashed. After a moment he said "I could feel the pain in your heart your frustration I just felt so helpless, so angry that they still continue to hurt you" Eric kissed my forehead and ran his hand down my cheek. "Pam said that Dear Abby says that humans need space and time to get over trauma but seeing you I realise that is not so. I should have known"

"Oh, it's not your fault i didn't exactly make it easy for you." I said yawning. Yep it had definitely been an eventful night; sleep was trying hard to claim me.

Eric pulled me closer and said "I'll stay tonight." More of a statement than a question. "I won't be here when you get up I have early dinner shift tomorrow" I mumbled sleepily.