AN: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer! This story includes slash so if you don't like it please don't read or flame just for that purpose. The main ship is Jake/Edward, the story will told from both of their points of view. I also will include Leah/Jake, one-sided Bella/Edward and Jasper/Alice. This is only the first chapter and I'm not sure if I will continue it, feedback is love so if you like it even a little bit please review. - Maddie
Chapter 1- Tingly
Right after the game I stepped into the locker room. The other boys had cleared out but Jacob was still in there. I swallowed, as I got ready to call out his name. The shower was on, and steam drifted from the back. My converse's slipped on the floor. I lunged for an open locker before I fell on my ass. My heart was thumping and my palms were clammy. I was nervous. I woke up this morning with an objective.
Tell Jacob Black that you're in love with him.
I figured that I owed myself that much before I read into another joke courtesy of Jacob about him fucking me or going down on me.
I wanted to confide in my twin sister Alice about my confusion but I couldn't. I knew she would understand, and she wouldn't think I was weird or changed in anyway, she would just accept me. But for some reason I had kept it all inside. It was easy enough because women were attracted to me, and if I wanted too I could play the game. I could date a girl, fuck her, and pretend that I was in love, but I didn't have the heart to be an asshole. I didn't want to hurt anyone because I knew what I wanted. I wanted a man.
And I had never wanted anyone more than Jacob Black. As I drew closer to the steam I flashed back to the first moment our eyes had met. Carlisle and Esme had driven Alice and I up to the University of Maryland: College Park from Savannah, Georgia because cars weren't allowed on campus. I had been nervous as hell because all I could think about was the passage that was college and adulthood.
I wasn't in high school anymore. I would be living in a dorm with guys and I could possibly meet a guy just like me. And then as I usually did I started dreaming about my first relationship. I got carried away with the thought of finally meeting the one. I was a romantic at heart, but everyone besides Alice would swear up and down that I was too good for everyone. In fact in high school I had landed this corny ass list by the senior girls about the most desirable lay. The list came out three times senior year and every time I was number one.
When I was moving my boxes in I ran into Jacob Black and his sisters Rachel and Rebecca. Jacob was arguing with one of them about something and then he turned around and ran into me. He apologized kindly and offered to help me carry the rest of my boxes. I was surprised. But then he explained that he was just looking for a reason to get away from Rachel.
We talked and I couldn't take my eyes off of his. I felt like a freak because I caught myself trying to stare deep into his soul. His eyes were deep brown, and he had this perfect smile. Slightly cocky, but yet like there was something else there. It turned out that we were living together. In my mind that meant something. Out of all the people I could have run into me. It had to be Jacob Black.
Three months later here I was. Not the picture of cool that other people would paint me out to be. I gave off this vibe of being untouchable, but when it came to Jacob Black I felt like a mess. I watched him when he undressed. I tried to do it secretly because I wasn't sure if he was into me, which was why I was here.
I heard the shower turn off.
I stopped for a second and considered turning around. But I didn't. Even if this lovelorn version of myself was alien to me I wasn't going to back down. I was going to tell Jacob that I liked him. I would worry about his girlfriend Leah Clearwater later. They were broken up anyways.
I took in a deep breath and attempted to remind myself why I was doing this.
Jacob and Leah had been on and off this whole semester and it looked like it was sticking thus far. Three days was a record for them. Jacob, was probably the only other guy on my floor that consumed nearly all the other girls attention. Surely when the vultures found out he was on the market again they would start swarming.
I could picture them beating their chests ferociously, pulling out their competitions hair, and jumping over carcasses to claim him. While I preferred to stake my claim in a more civilized fashion I did want to fight for him if there was even the slightest chance.
My heart ached as I started to walk again. I closed my eyes and thought about the notes I had prepared for a song I wrote for him. I wasn't obsessed. I was just poetic, lonely, and a little tortured. I guess that was why women were so attracted to me. I came off like this bad boy that was all fuck the world, I've fucked at least 100 women, and I eat my food with my hands but hell I still look beautiful.
Women on the street told me that all the time. They literally stopped me. I guess I never put much stock into what they said because I never had anyone like Jacob tell me that. I rounded the corner and I saw him standing there, perfectly naked. Jacob was using his towel to wipe the stray beads of water from his ripped arms, those sexy legs, and finally that cock. Damn he was big down there.
I had never wanted anyone to fuck or love me so bad.
When Jacob saw me his lips twisted into his signature cocky smile. He draped the towel around his shoulders and took a step closer.
"Edward what are you doing seeking me out?" He licked his lips.
"I wasn't man." My heart raced. I swung my arm back to run my hands through my tasseled chestnut hair.
"How did I look out there on the field?"
"You looked good Jake,"
"Were you watching my ass?"
I laughed nervously.
"You were Edward." He swatted me with his hands. "That's alright though. My ass is perfection."
"Your ego is atrocious."
His eyebrows furrowed and he tossed his towel at me. "You okay?"
"I…" I placed my hand to my lips. It was best to probably just get it over with. Play it cool. I could do cool.
Jake grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me to him. "I've been noticing something about you Cullen."
I reached for his hands and tried to pull them from around my shirt. Jake's grip tightened. He swung me around and my back collided with the wall. I winced. I wasn't sure why I let him swing me around like a bitch, anyone else I might've pushed away.
"What?" I asked through a rush of air.
"You've been acting all different since I broke up with Leah."
"You need your space." I spoke up quickly. I don't know where the fuck that came from. My damn heart was in my throat. I closed my eyes as I felt my cock rise against the tight fabric of my Abercrombie boxers. Jacob noticed it too.
His eyes grew darker. They weren't menacing in the least but instead consumed with passion. I felt his breath rush across my lips. God I wanted him to kiss me. Jacob pressed his knee in between my legs. Trapping me. I could feel his muscles and his dick. He was getting hard now too.
"What took you so long Cullen?" Jacob asked.
I found the courage to throw the question back at him. "What took you Black?"
"A lot of things," He leaned forward and whispered into my ear. "Every night before I went to bed I jerked off thinking about fucking your tight little ass."
Now I reached out for him. My hands slipped down his tan skin until I was holding onto his waist.
"Didn't you hear me at night?"
"And I imagined jizzing all over that beautiful face of yours. Suck my dick Edward."
I had planned on this going differently. I wanted to have sex with him. But then again I didn't want this to just be about sex. As I stared into Jacob's eyes I was overcome with a dialogue of unshared words. How he was looking at me wasn't like I was just the main course at some cheap buffet, but instead like he could keep me for a while.
I wouldn't object. I dropped down on my knees and kissed his shaft.
He placed his hand underneath my chin. "Have you ever given head before baby boy?"
I nodded even though I hadn't.
I opened my eyes smiling. Fuck. It was just a dream.
I pulled my hands out of my pants and then sat up.
What the fuck! I jumped at least ten feet in the air knocking all my textbooks onto the floor. A few yards away was my twin sister Alice. Her golden brown orbs were mischievously fixed on me she was smiling.
"Alice," I sighed.
She ruffled my hair and hopped onto the bed beside me.
"You could call and let me know that you're stopping by." I yawned tiredly. "At least give me a heads up before you start screaming in my ear."
"Oh whatever Edward you were already waking up." She waved her hand. "So,"
I picked up my schoolbooks and glanced over at Jacob's side of the room. For the first two months of school he had spent most of his time at Leah's but now that they were done, he was here more often.
I liked having him around. Aside from obviously being the guy I was interested in. I also liked getting to know him. Jacob was complicated. He was more than a pretty face. I went over to Jake's computer, mine was conveniently broken, during finals of course, so he let me use his.
"Um Edward?" Alice reached in her gigantic purse and tossed me a small bottle of hand sanitizing gel. "I don't think Jake wants those filthy hands all over his keyboard."
My cheeks crept with scarlet. "Doors are for knocking."
"Hello I'm Alice Cullen normal rules don't apply to me."
"Right because you're so darn cute." I wrinkled my nose with an edge of sarcasm.
"By the way I'm getting requests from all over to pimp you out. Just today Julie down the hall…Julie with the high forehead, beaver teeth, and cameltoe…I don't know why she insists on wearing tights with nothing else, she asked about you. Right outside McKeldin three other girls approached me. Edward it's happening all over again. Even in college your desired real estate."
"Alice," I said dryly. I tossed the gel back towards her. "I'm putting my feet down you can't pimp me out here either."
Her eyes grew wide, "But Edward,"
She sighed heavily. I narrowed my eyes at her and a smile appeared on my face. "I'm happy I swear. You don't have to try and marry me off just because you think I'm lonely."
"You are the king of lonely. I've seen you walking around campus looking all brooding and dark." She pointed at me accusingly.
I laughed. "So what. Girls actually like that."
"Well duh, if they didn't they wouldn't be asking me to slip them your number for five dollars."
I arched an eyebrow. "The masses are paying for my number now?"
"Yes, and tomorrow it's going to be offering their first born child."
"Oh god," I sighed. I tilted my head backwards and relaxed in Jake's swivel chair. When I first moved into our dorm I realized that everything I had was so much nicer than Jake's. I was only bothered because I wanted to fit in. Back home in Savannah, Alice and I were the rich kids at school, we tried to be normal, but no one could forget that Carlisle Cullen was our father.
Here I just wanted to be Edward Cullen, one in 36,000. I smiled at the thought of how I sneakily got rid of everything that seemed a little too high-class for an eighteen year old at college. My mom made sure Alice and I had the best, and it wasn't because she was into superficial things, she just wanted to make sure going away was as comfortable as possible.
My eyes quickly wandered over Jacob's pictures. He had one of his father. Billy Black passed away in a bad car accident, Jake didn't talk about him much. And one of his sisters with him. Rebecca was short and looked the most like Jacob. She was never around because she traveled. Rachel was taller, and Jake told me that she looked like their mom. Jake never talked to me about his mom at all.
Over here smelled like Jacob. Sweat, sandalwood, and pumpkin spice. He had candles over by his computer, purposely placed to disguise the smell of 'boy too lazy to do his laundry.' One time I had walked in on him sitting in this chair butt naked. He was always hot. Jacob claimed his body didn't run the same temperature as everyone else's did.
I think he just liked to be naked.
Alice stood up and went to the mini-fridge. She grabbed a Dr. Pepper. "My roommate Bella and I are going to catch a movie at the theater in Stamp, wanna come."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Fine," She grabbed her purse. "By the way Bella also likes you."
I nodded uninterested. "Okay?"
"Edward," Alice stared back at me seriously.
"Alice I don't know what you want from me?"
"I want you…" she frowned and then looked away, "I want you to remember who I am. I'm Alice, the sister you used to play Barbies with."
"I was Ken."
"Ken is a Barbie. And don't think I didn't see you braiding Barbie's hair when I pretended to be sleep." Alice bit her lip as she smiled softly. "I'm not trying to give you a hard time you know that." She glided across the floor towards me in her typical ballet manner and gave me a hug. "I'm here. You can talk to me."
"I know Alice, but I don't talk. You talk and I listen we have a code written in stone and Barbies." I rubbed her back and leaned away.
"But still consider? If you change your mind feel free to give me a call on me cellie."
"You're so anti-social." Alice said just before opening the door. She collided into Jake. He was shirtless. I guess he was running hot again. Sweat was visible in a thin sheen on his sculpted body and his red shorts were low enough to see his line of black pubic hair.
I did my best not to stare at him in lust. Jake knew that he was sexy and he took advantage of that.
"Jake," Alice giggled, "Woah losing your pants there."
Jake shrugged carelessly, "Alice you're the first person that complained all day."
"Probably because I'm the only girl on this floor not into you." She tilted her head to the side. "See you later Jake."
Alice hit him because she hated that nickname. Jake closed the door behind him and let out a heavy sigh before resting his back against the door. His gym bag fell to the floor.
"She's killing me." He groaned.
"Who?" I asked sitting up. I felt like cotton was in my mouth because it was so dry.
"I need a beer." Jake crossed the room to the mini-fridge. He bent down. My eyes narrowed on his ass. His ass were perfection like the rest of him. "You need a beer Cullen,"
Jake tossed a beer in my direction. He opened his and chugged down half the bottle. "Half, see."
We had a rule. Jake asked me to take him seriously with it too. His father started drinking heavily after the death of his mom, and Jake and Rachel were the ones that took care of him. So Jake asked me to stop him at half every time he started drinking. I remember asking him if it would be easier to just not drink at all. But he said he needed the juice to take some of the edge off.
I opened my can of beer but didn't drink any. "So what's up."
He crossed the room towards me. I stared into his eyes. I wished that I had the unfathomable courage that I had in the dream. But here I didn't. Like a child Jacob sat down in front of me Indian Style. I was almost compelled to give his swivel chair back but he touched my leg and shook his head no.
"I saw her with some ugly ass guy. Leah." Jacob's face tightened. "His hands were all over her and she was letting him touch her like a slut."
I listened with difficulty. I had nothing against Leah Clearwater, but I wasn't bothered by Jake calling her a slut either. What bothered me was the look in his eyes when he talked about her. He used to tell me that Leah and him were high-school sweethearts, they were just sex and arguments, hot and heavy, but never emotional. But I could see in his eyes that he still loved her. I should be okay with that because Jake and Leah were actually intimate. All I was to him was an ear to listen to, a friend. A straight friend.
"Cullen I think we're going to have to break the rule tonight." Since his beer was across the room he reached for mine.
I grabbed his hand firmly. Jake's thick eyebrows furrowed.
"Dude, it's just one."
"Dude, you asked me to look out for you." I was in love with this guy and he didn't have the slightest clue. No one did. Only after Jake released his grip on the can did I let go. "So she was with some guy?" I pressed on as his friend.
Jake scoffed. "He was ugly as shit too. His whole damn mouth was messed up. His teeth were like a raptors." Jake spread his arms and pretended to fly.
I laughed though my stomach ached. "But you guys are done."
Jake gave me a cutting look.
I should probably soften my approach. I looked down at the top of his full head of black hair. If only I could get down on the ground with him and wrap him tightly in my arms. Too bad I couldn't. "Sounds like she is moving on."
Jake stood up he went over to his closet, dropped his pants and tied a towel around his waist. Without another word he slipped outside. I chewed on my thumb. I had said all the wrong things. Leah was obviously trying to make him jealous, but I was trying to make him move on. I felt like an ass.
Jacob returned about an hour later. He didn't look at me until he was dressed and then he took a seat on the edge of his bed. "What do you want for dinner. Stamp? Adele's, you treated me last time, I got you, or the poor man's choice Mikey D's." Jake cracked a hopeful smile.
I looked up from the paper I was typing . I was surprised that he was talking to me because after suggesting that Leah moved on, he looked at me like I was Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech.
"Mid-terms are coming up and I'm nearly failing all my classes. Rachel will kill me if I get kicked out of here and my athletic scholarship can only do so much." Jacob smiled softly and looked down. "I'm just going to think that Leah did move on so I can get on with my life."
I wisely said nothing.
"We're going with Taco Bell," He substituted.
"I don't remember Taco Bell being an option?" I teased. I stood up and walked over to him. "I'm sorry if I came off harsh."
"Nah," Jacob rubbed his hands together, "I can always depend on you to tell me like it is Cullen." Jacob's eyes narrowed. "So how is it?"
"You Cullen. How are you? I've been talking about me so much that I forgot to ask how you were."
That was a strange question coming from Jake. I sat down on my bed across from him and pressed my back against the wall. "I'm okay."
Jacob looked down and clasped his hands. "You know you can talk to me about anything right?"
"Anything because I've told you things that Leah doesn't even know, and I guess she'll never know." He sighed heavily. "So Taco Bell?"
"You seem determined on it. Sure,"
I watched as he grabbed his jacket and slipped it on over his black shirt. He was going riding on his motorcycle. Sometimes he told me he went riding to clear his mind, and one time he even joked that one time he might go and never come back.
I hoped that he didn't do that tonight because he needed someone to take care of him no matter how strong and tough he thought he was. If he left I would probably follow him, just to keep him safe.
AN: So what did you think? Remember please REVIEW if you want to see this story continue, because honestly if there isn't enough interest I won't continue it. But just in case I'll thank everyone that at least read it all and gave it a shot!