When Love Was New Contest
Title of Entry:It's only you
Your pen name:Jemster23
If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this contest visit: When Love Was New C2 Community
Summary:Love isn't always instant but it is always there, even if you don't necessarily know it at the time. Sometimes you don't even see what is right in front of you, no matter how obvious it is to those around you. Will Bella ever read the signs and realize her love for her handsome colleague.
More importantly is there any hope for them.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. The song 'its only you' is owned by Salem AL Fakir.
I suppose you always have the perfect picture in your mind of how it will be the first time you fall in love. I like many am no exception.
Growing up I always imagined that the day I met the one I would just know.
There would be that spark, that instant chemistry that affirms that you are destined for one another.
Your life has a purpose and you know you were made to love that person and they you.
There is that unquestionable feeling deep in the pit of your stomach, your heart skips a beat and you feel like your heart will explode with love. You heart grows and you know that this is the one person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
That is what you are led to believe happens in the ideal world.
But as I grew older and wiser, there was still was no sight of the man of my dreams. Yes there were a few guys I dated in college but no one to set my heart on fire.
I wouldn't say I grew bitter, but I certainly wised up to the whole dream romantic scenario you are led to believe is how it should be.
I learnt that life isn't always a fairytale and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. What you desire the most doesn't always come to you in an instant. Sometimes you have to fight more for what you want.
But that's a good thing because once you have that special thing that you so desperately wished for, you truly appreciate it all the more. You realise just how precious what you have is and you are more inclined not to let it go.
Love is unpredictable and unique to each person. Love makes you vulnerable and open to heartbreak and pain, but its worth all the heartache when you finally give into your feelings.
Love may not always be instant but its always there, even if you don't necessarily know it at the time, it's just a case of reading and understanding the signs.
Sometimes you don't even see what is right in front of you, no matter how obvious it is to those around you.
My story is no exception. To say that I was clueless and in denial would be a major understatement.
The first day I met him I knew something changed but I couldn't put a name to it.
At the time I put it down to being in awe of his good looks and left it at that. I was inexperienced and naïve with matters of the heart. You hear all of those stories about how love hits you like a bolt out of the blue when you least expect it, and with the last person you would ever put yourself with. This goes noway to explaining our story.
It all started out at the unassuming office Christmas party a few years back. I can still remember, it like it yesterday....
Two year prior.
It was December 22nd the day of the annual Christmas party!
I have been working at Cullen Publishings for approaching a year now. I was lucky having been recruited straight out of college.
I come from a small town in the middle of nowhere called forks. It is practically unknown so as you can imagine I jumped at the chance to moved to the bright lights of Chicago.
Of course it was a massive shock to go from country life to the city, but I coped and grew to see Chicago as my second home.
At first I missed my family and friends terribly but at 23 years old it was high time I got out there and made it on my own
Besides how could I turn down the chance to work for a well renowned publishing company.
After my initial role as general dogs body and runner I had worked my way up to my current position as junior editor.
I could never thank my boss, Carlisle enough for giving me the opportunity to prove myself. I loved my job and had a great team of colleagues some of whom I consider friends.
Angela was my closest friend. She too joined straight out of college so we started together on the same day. She too had been promoted to the position of junior editor so we both managed to work together much of the time. I was forever grateful as I had found a true friend in Angela.
The same couldn't be said for all of the employees at the company. Two girls in particular managed to rub me up the wrong way. Lauren the receptionist and Jessica who worked in admin seemed to take an instant dislike to both Angela and myself. We both couldn't understand their hostility towards us so instead of taking it to heart we just laughed it off and tried to ignore them. It only made them all the more hostile towards us but we didn't care.
Though Cullen publishings is a relative small company it is very well known and established in the publishing world.
Our managing director Carlisle certainly made an effort to ensure we were all happy in our jobs and I couldn't deny how well he treats us. Take today's Christmas party as an example.
Here I sat inside one of the most beautiful restaurants in all of Chicago.
Carlisle had good taste and was never stingy when it came to rewarding his employees.
Though I suspected his wife Esme had a hand in selecting this astounding venue.
Being a tight knit company I had met her on various occasions and functions and I couldn't help but warm to her charming and caring personality.
After we were treated to the most extravagant dinner I had ever tasted, we moved on to an equally suave bar in the centre of town. I had just settled down besides Angela at a table in the far corner of the room when I first saw him.
I had long heard numerous accounts of Carlisle's legendary son, the gorgeous and charming Edward Cullen. Unfortunately I had yet to see him in the flesh and was therefore unprepared for the sheer magnitude of him.
His appearance in the office a few times had kicked up a frenzy amongst the office girls but I always seemed to be out at the time so missed what they were all so hysterical about.
Even Angela who I considered immune to such charms spoke of him with admiration of his perfection.
That said nothing could have prepared me for the sheer extent of his perfection. He was beautiful almost impossibly so. He was simply too magnificent to put into words. And I was instantly captivated by his unruly hair and strong jawline.
But it was his hair that gave away who he was. It was the same unusual shade of bronze that he had obviously inherited from Esme.
I couldn't take my eyes off him as he strode in like a model.
You know when someone beautiful enters the room and everyone turns to see, well that's exactly what happened when he entered. All eyes narrowed in on him like he was some kind of Greek god.
And that's what he was. I felt awful for staring but couldn't seem to force my eyes away from him. It was like he had this insane power over me that forced me to look at him.
I felt sorry for him being gawked at as he made his way over to his parents. He appeared to be introducing himself to the group Carlisle and Esme were with.
I looked on knowingly as the girls sighed dreamily.
I guess I wasn't the only one taken to his flawless appearance. I was wishfully dreaming away when suddenly his gaze turned to meet mine. I swear my heart stopped beating as his brilliant green eyes met my dull brown ones. I wanted to look away, to shy away and hide, but for some reason I just couldn't. It was like I was drawn to him.
Angela's light tapping on my shoulder interrupted my dwelling and I quickly looked to her, embarrassed to have been caught out.
I was determined and told myself I wouldn't look again. Unfortunately my resolve slipped and I chanced a few cautious glances towards him. Thankfully he was always busy in discussion with the others and didn't seem to notice my longing looks.
I did however note that a light smile seemed to play on his face like he was trying to fight a giant grin from breaking out on his face. Whatever the cause it only made me more intrigued by him.
As the night went on I found myself stuck talking to Eric from accounts. He was a lovely guy, if a bit too clingy for my liking. Despite my slight discomfort I happily chatted away with both him and Angela. When the time came when Angela had to go home I was reluctant to stay but was stuck between Eric and now Tyler from the design department so an escape had to wait till I was able to excuse myself.
As I emerged from the ladies I was disappointed to see Tyler and Eric in the same position I had left them in. I was reluctant to return to them so instead I chose to hide away in the opposite corner.
My efforts to go unnoticed seemed to be successful for a good five minutes, that was until I felt a presence behind me.
"Trying to hide?" a velvety voice broke into my escape.
I jumped a mile and instinctively turned around. If the initial shock wasn't bad enough it was instantly compounded by the sight that greeted me.
None other than Edward Cullen stood before me. If possible he appeared even more stunning close up. I could only gape like a idiot.
"Hi," he spoke.
I could only look on bewildered, unable to get my mouth to function in front of his perfection.
When I came out of my shock I was startled to see that he was looking at me expectantly.
I could only smile lightly or at least I hoped it came across as friendly rather than simple.
Great first impression, he probably thinks I'm a mute
"I'm Edward Cullen and your Bella right?" he hinted but I still stood there motionless and only managed to nod. I don't know what the hell had come over me. Why couldn't I string a sentence together. This was plain embarrassing! He seemed undeterred by my silence and smiled what I could only describe as a crooked smile.
Our peculiar exchange was interrupted when my enemy Lauren approached.
"There you are Edward," she declared triumphantly. I noted jubilantly that he looked disappointed by her interruption.
"I see you have met Bella," she didn't go unnoticed by me the clear distaste in her tone.
"Indeed I have," he replied as he sent me that killer smile again that made my heart flutter.
"Your father sent me to find you," Lauren interrupted once more.
"That's my clue, it was a pleasure to meet you Bella," he nodded and paused as if waiting for me to say something.I could only look on perplexed by my reaction to him.
I opened my mouth to speak but I just couldn't get anything out. He looked hopeful at my attempts, but soon turned despondent when I didn't say anything.
That said he still offered me that killer smile and after sending me a final nod he turned to leave.
I could only ask myself what the hell had just happened?
I would remember that Christmas party for one reason alone. That was the day I finally met Edward Cullen. Though I use the term loosely, if met actually refers to being in the same room as him.
That next day I travelled back to Forks to spend Christmas with my father. I had missed him terribly and had a great holiday spending some long overdue time with Charlie.
After celebrating the new year in Forks I headed back to work and quickly was back into the hustle and bustle of the publishing world.
Two months had past since that awful humiliation that was the office Christmas party.
Thankfully the excitement over Edwards appearance at the party had finally died down.
I was grateful as it meant I didn't have to think about the embarrassment of my shyness.
In reality I doubted he would remember me as anything other than the shy girl who was a source of entertainment. I don't know why I was even so worried about what he thought of me anyway. I mean what was he to me. I would most likely never see him again anyway.
Just as my over-active mind had over thought and finally let go of the Edward incident, the news came that would forever change my positive attitude........
Edward was joining the company!
The position of senior editor had long been vacant since our last senior editor, Leah left almost three months ago now. Since then the other senior editors and junior editors had been filling in.
I didn't complain though, as I found the extra work load exciting and fulfilling. I knew I wanted to work my way up to the position of senior editor one day, I just needed to stay focused and work hard.
I was so focused on the task at hand that I had pretty much forgotten all about the appointment. So much so that when Jessica merrily told me of Edwards appointment I literally stopped breathing!
I was dumbfounded and shocked that I would now be seeing him on a regular basis.
Apparently I wasn't the only one shocked by Edwards appointment. As the news spread like wildfire I could see the majority of the female workforce become dizzy with excitement.
Judging by their calculating looks I'm sure many already had their eyes firmly set on him.
His appointment certainly made office life more interesting as I watched the frenzy begin.
I watched on amused as numerous girls appeared to take more interest in the usually boring office duties in an effort to impress Edward.
Unfortunately for them he wasn't due to start till the following Monday so all of their extra efforts were in vain. But still they persisted. I on the other hand was apprehensive and petrified at the thought of facing the source of my embarrassment, and nervously counted down as the week passed by all too quickly.
When the day that he was due to start finally came, I was fraught with nerves. My calamity seemed to heighten with my worry.
Somehow I managed to be even more clumsy and incapable than usual. I seemed to find a way to trip at any opportunity as I awkwardly made my way into work.
When I finally arrived (a good twenty minutes late I might add) I knew the worst was yet to come!
As I made it through the entrance, Lauren's amused smirk should have warned me of the impending troubles.
Unfortunately I was too busy panicking over being late, that I ran straight into the main publishing offices. When I was through the doors I instantly wished I could turn right around and run.
I had just interrupted Edwards welcome meeting!
You see each time a new employee started at the company, Carlisle insisted we did the traditional meet and greet. Myself included had been put through the horrendous task of introducing myself.
Yes it was all done with the best of intentions but it still hadn't eased my embarrassment.
It seems being the boss's son didn't get Edward out of such a tedious task either.
My contemplations were long forgotten when I realised all eyes were on me. I could feel my tell tale blush rise as my gaze met Edward. Time hadn't altered his perfection. As my eyes met his I once again felt like the awkward girl I had been at the party.
"Nice of you to join us Bella," Jessica's sarcastic tone interrupted my hypnotic like daze.
I looked away and quickly turned to Carlisle apologetically.
"I'm sorry Mr Cullen I got stuck in traffic on the freeway, It wont happen again," I apologetically offered.
"That's okay Bella, I got caught up in traffic too," he offered thoughtfully to ease my embarrassment. I could only nod timidly and headed sheepishly towards the far corner of the room, eager to keep a safe distance between Edward and I.
As the meeting drew on I was grateful to have missed the mortifying intros, so I wouldn't need to think of some witty introduction. I already had one in mind though. Hi I'm Bella, the mute who turns into a fumbling fool in your presence. It was not quite the way I wanted him to remember me by.
Instead I listened intently as Edward described his vision for the future of the company.
He spoke with great enthusiasm and conviction and I was actually looking forward to seeing how he dealt with the challenge and responsibility of running our teams department. He was highly regarded in the publishing circles so I was eager to see what he brought to the company.
With the meeting over we all made our way back to our desks. On my way I sought out Angela. As we both headed though the door I held it open for the person behind, which as chance would have it happened to be Edward! I shyly smiled as he smiled that crooked grin and spoke in that beautifully velvety voice.
"Thanks Bella." I don't know how or why but I swear I had a peculiar feeling when he said my name. I couldn't explain it, It was like nothing I had ever experienced before, almost like my stomach did a nervous flip! I'm sure I was just imagining things.
For the remainder of the day I sat securely behind my desk and could only watch on curiously as Edward settled into the office directly opposite my desk.
Whilst many of the office girls continued to flock around him, I could only look on intrigued at the effect he seemed to have on the entire female staff. At least I wasn't alone in that respect.
He appeared gracious and courteous but ultimately managed to get them to leave shortly after.
Though they were obviously disappointed they all came out in high spirits, delighted at having spoken to him. They praised how polite and humble he was. I could only watch on longingly.
I don't know why but with him around I just couldn't relax.
That day seemed to pass incredibly slow so when 5.30 came I literally ran out of the door eager to forget such a strange and bizarre day.
After Edwards first day, the week passed with little significance. He seemed very capable as he got a feel of how things worked very quickly. I was regularly in contact with him, and often bumped into him in the corridor or canteen. I was genuinely surprised when I somehow managed to find my voice and actually spoke to him
From then on we always exchanged pleasantry's. He was always polite and friendly and gradually I got past my initial embarrassment of that night months prior.
It was a relief as I no longer felt the need to avoid contact with him.
The weeks passed and I was fortunate enough to work with Edward on an impending brief. I must admit that the more time I spent with him and getting to know him, the more I found myself fascinated by him. I could listen to him talk for hours and not mind because simply hearing his voice and listening to what he was saying mesmerized me.
He had that magical ability to turn what should have been the most boring of conversation into the most fascinating topic in the world.
I got to know him better, learning about everything from his pet hates to his little quirks. They only made him all the more intriguing.
He was charming and charismatic and consequently I found myself blushing at the littlest of things. The slightest touch or simple compliment would leave me flustered.
I barely knew him but still I found myself increasingly drawn to him.
My initial misconception were that with such good looks he would be a complete jerk.
How wrong could I have been?
He turned out to be hard-working, conscientious, kind and thoughtful, I'm sure many assumed he got the job simply for being the boss's son, but how wrong that assumption would be.
We were lucky he left the rat race of New York to spend more time with his family.
I found myself respecting him all the more for that decision.
Moreover he was exceptional at his job.
Edward was thoughtful in the rejection and acceptance of manuscripts. He had strong views but they were always fair and he had a real skill in dealing with notoriously bad tempered authors and agents alike. It was quite impressive to see how hands on he was. He had a strong influence over everything about a particular book we were working on. Everything from the cover design to production details and the sales and marketing of a product were never overlooked.
In the short time I worked with him I had learnt so much already. It was quite awe inspiring to watch and I aspired to be just as commanding. I may well have only been a lowly junior editor but he never made me feel inadequate. If anything he was constantly including me and often asked my views, making me feel like he valued my opinion.
As the time passed, already Edward had been at the company for several months.
I found that we became closer and were very comfortable in each others company. It was a far contrast to our first meeting as we talked easily and joked about topics away from work. I guess you could say we became friends.
He was still as charming as ever and it still gave me butterflies whenever he smiled that crooked smile or talked animatedly over something he felt particularly strongly about.
By this point I will admit to having developed a small crush on Edward, but who could blame me. I had no doubt all of the female workforce had similar feelings judging by their blatant attempts to charm him. Whilst they were obvious I at least was discreet in my affections.
It was harmless anyway so why worry over something and nothing. It would soon pass.
I started to look forward to spending time with him and was lucky enough to work with Edward on a few further projects. Jessica was as snide as ever but I put that down to jealousy.
I could see why so many people were supposedly dazzled by him.
He had the amazing ability to draw the best out of people and I could see how he had worked himself into such a prestigious position despite his years. He loved his job and that showed in his enthusiasm.
I also found myself fascinated by the little insignificant things he did, like the way he chewed the end of his pen when he was deep in thought or how he'd run his hand through his unruly hair when he was frustrated.
Occasionally I would catch him gazing out of his office longingly, seemingly deep in thought.
I often found myself pondering what was on his mind at that precise moment.
One such time I was horrified that he caught me staring at him. I blushed and automatically looked down, using my hair as a shield to hide my embarrassment.
As summer approached things became pretty manic in the office with the upcoming launch of the final chapter in one of our most popular romance sagas.
We were constantly kept busy with numerous new marketing strategies and the additional new commissions we had made.
The company was thriving but soon all prosperity was forgotten and replaced with discussion of the upcoming event.
Ahhhh the joys of family day. How would I describe it? I'd say it was like hell on earth for me.
I'm sure Carlisle had good intentions, but spending time with some of my work colleagues alone was bad enough, but throw in extended family too and that was unthinkable.
It didn't help matters that Charlie was often busy working overtime at the station, effectively leaving me alone and defenceless against the interrogation. Jessica and Lauren in particular were most obnoxious at these occasions so I had that to look forward to.
I tried to put it to the back of my mind and forget all about it, but I could no longer ignore it when Carlisle approached asking for a favour.
"Hello Bella, I wonder if I could ask you a massive favour?" he asked.
"What can I do for you Carlisle?" I asked expectantly
"As you know family day is this coming Saturday," I stifled a groan as he continued.
"Unfortunately Lauren hasn't been as efficient in sorting out the details as I would have liked. I had the catering company on the phone this morning wanting to confirm numbers. I swear if you want a job doing your better off doing it yourself," he added more to himself.
"What do you need me to do?" I asked.
"Would you find out how many guest each employee is bringing along with them so we can make the reservation?" he asked.
"Not a problem," I tried to sound positive.
"Thanks Bella, I knew I could rely on you," he smiled and headed to his office.
I threw my head down to the table and groaned aloud,which coincidently happened to be at the exact moment Edward walked out of his office.
He raised his eyebrows and looked at me curiously as his smile turned into an amused smirk!! I only huffed in agitation.
Later that afternoon I begrudgingly went around desk to desk sorting out numbers for the caterers. As it came to Edwards turn I approached the door hesitantly before summoning up the courage to knock.
He immediately called me in and greeted me with that familiar crooked smile that made me bite my bottom lip.
"Bella to what do I owe the pleasure," he spoke, ever the charmer.
"I'm finalising numbers for the family day, so I need to know how many I should put you down for?"I internally congratulated myself for managing to say that without stuttering once.
"Is that so," he playfully replied which for some bizarre reason caused me to blush!
"Put me down for the one," he responded.
"Is that as in one including you or one guest?"I asked to confirm.
He looked amused again and smirked
"Are you asking for yourself or Carlisle?" he countered clearly pleased I was flustered.
"I just need to pass on the numbers," I replied seriously
"Relax Bella I'm teasing you," he spoke as his grin widened.
Why was it that I found myself enjoying the banter between us?
Deciding it was nothing I quickly headed out of his office and left it at that.
The dreaded family day finally came and I found myself stuck to Angela's side. I was keen not to be drawn into a conversation with Mike Newton. He was the vain of family days past.
He was Lauren's cousin and despite her coldness towards me, he unfortunately didn't seem to share the same thinking. Instead he hung around me like a bad smell. Finally I had managed to give him the brush off and was in the process of looking around the room when I saw him arrive.
Still I couldn't understand my reaction to Edward. When he came into a room my heart would speed up of its own accord , caused by some kind of nervous reaction I'm sure.
My joy was instantly clouded as I took note of the girl besides him. She was bubbly and quirky looking but it was undeniable how beautiful she was.
It was then I felt a funny feeling that I had never felt before. I couldn't put name to it-its was like my heart ached at the sight of him with another girl. It couldn't have been jealousy?
Despite his assurance he only needed one ticket I shouldn't have assumed that meant he was single. To put it mildly Edward was a good looking guy, there were so many people he could be with, yet he didn't seem to care for any of them or their attention.
Apparently there was a reason for that and he wasn't as available as I'd hoped. I was busy pondering my lack of judgement when I spotted them approach. I felt myself tense and then panic as his companion literally engulfed me in a hug!
"Bella its so great to finally meet you," she excitedly declared.
"Edward has told me all about you," she added.
I could only look on puzzled, why would he even mention me to his girlfriend?
"He has done nothing but sing your praises" she added as if to ease my confusion.
I looked curiously across to Edward, and was shocked to note that his cheeks had a slight pink tinge to them. It was actually rather adorable when he was embarrassed.
Okay so my little crush wasn't so little as I would like to believe. Infatuation was nearer the truth but what did it matter anyway, it was a harmless. Edwards velvety voice broke my pondering.
"I was just filling her in on everyone at the company," he offered as an excuse.
"And hows that going?" I enquired genuinely interested in how he perceived people.
"Everyone here is very friendly and cooperative," he said initially before a thoughtful look passed on his face.
"Most of the time I am a pretty good judge of character and can suss people out instantly. But you are another matter entirely. I am doing all I can to figure you out. Your are a very intriguing person miss swan," he declared. Something about the way he said my name still left me giddy.
"There's' really not a lot to suss out, I'm really not that interesting," I replied truthfully.
"I'd beg to differ. I find you rather fascinating," he answered. I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked up to his intense gaze. Damn him and his constant way of making me speechless.
Suddenly a coughing broke our exchange.
Alice looked slight interested by our display and I instantly felt bad for forgetting about her.
I really should learn to keep a safe distance from him.
This was his girlfriend after all. I was actually surprised she remained pleasant and hadn't taken to slapping me for openly stared at her boyfriend.
Thankfully she didn't seem to hold grudges and let it drop instantly as we fell into conversation about the company.
Alice seemed to know a lot about it already, I could only assume Edward had filled her in on the aspects of his job. We continued to chat and my curiosity got the better of me.
"So how long have you two been together?" I casually tried to slip into the conversation. I clearly wasn't successful as Edward spat his drink out and practically started choking.
Alice meanwhile looked a mixture of amused and horrified.
"Us together," she seemed outraged
I could only nod at her unreadable expression
I looked to see Edward had the same expression too.
"Bella , Alice is my sister," he replied seriously, though I could see how he was struggling to keep the smirk off his face.
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I just assumed, I mean....I am so embarrassed right now," I admitted and sheepishly looked to Edward. I couldn't deny that I felt happy at the discovery though.
"You really are quite something Bella," Alice said amused.
I could only look to them apologetically.
Thankfully they were not keen to play on my embarrassment and Edward was quick to change the subject.
It was actually the first family day I had ever been to and enjoyed. Alice was a major reason for this and I found myself laughing at her energetic personality.
What was it about the Cullens that made them all so likeable?
I was interested to note that a couple of additional members to their family would be making an appearance. This time it was their elder brother Emmett and his wife and daughter who would be arriving later on that evening.
Edward told me all about them and spoke with a twinkle in his eye when he mentioned his niece. I could imagine the little monkey had him wrapped around her little finger and looked forward to seeing that.
Not long after Edwards explained did I see the family members in question.
It was impossible to miss the Cullen charm. Of course they were impossibly beautiful as I had come to expect with anything to do with the Cullens, but something else caught my attention. They had a friendly aura and I was more than eager to meet them as they approached.
The big guy Emmett was best described as beefy. I should have felt intimidated by his strong stature but his goofy grin and dimples hinted to a playful side.
The lady stood besides him was beyond words. She too was impossibly beautiful with her golden blond wavy hair and piercing blue eyes. I felt intimidated simply by being in the same room as her yet the warm smile she sent our way made me immediately warm to her.
When they made it over they appeared to be looking between Edward and I curiously.
Edward had just started to make introductions when a high pitched voice interrupted and a little girl came hurtling towards us.
She had long blond hair and from her wide smile it was obvious she had inherited her fathers dimples.
As she reached us she skipped past her parents without a second thought and instead went straight for 'uncle Edward' as she shouted out in excitement.
The aforementioned uncle beamed with pride as he bent down to pick up the little bundle of energy and took her into his arms lovingly. I watched in wonder as he lifted her and spun her around in the air. The child was ecstatic and her giggles soon filled the air.
I could only look on in awe at Edwards contentment.
It was in that one moment that everything changed in an instant. I felt my heart beat erratically and then stop altogether.
It's amazing how one thing can change your world completely.
In that single second where Edward held the little girl in his arms, love and adulation so apparent on his features, I knew with absolute certainty that I was in love with him.
That minor moment was nothing but it was everything. It signified something much deeper.
I know It sounds contrived, prosperous even but in that one moment I knew with absolute clarity that I wanted to be more than just friends.
I wanted to be the girl he smiled that beautifully crooked smile at and who's hand he held affectionately.
But most of all I wanted it to be me that he loved, me who was the mother of his child that he held so lovingly.
I wanted to be his everything just as he was mine.
I saw everything in a fresh light. Its amazing how you can miss the signs but once you do all of the pieces of the puzzle seem to miraculously fit together. All the insignificant glances and touches that you where so blind to before suddenly seemed to make sense.
Before I knew Edward was perfect , but I had always seen him as the perfect friend, when in fact he was much more. I loved him, I just never realized it.
I now understood how my initial reluctance to him was my automatic response to fighting the unknown. This knew found realization explained all those moments when my heart would beat rapidly when he entered the room, or how my stomach would churn when he spoke to me.
All the signs pointed to one thing, the one thing I had tried to avoid thinking about- love!
Not some puppy love or infatuation but deep unquestionable love.
At the time I had put it down to nerves but in reality it was my body's way of telling me what my mind was so keen to keep hidden.
The initial joy of my realization was soon dismissed as a sobering thought hit me.
The saddest part was the reality that no matter how strong my feelings may be, I had to be realistic. He was my boss's son, he was completely unattainable and way out of my league.
The even more terrifying truth was the fact that I was going to have to act normal in his presence. There was only one thing that overtook the feeling of love and that was knowing the object of your affection has no inclination whatsoever of your feelings. But I was adamant for it to remain that way.
In the process of my dwelling, the man in question interrupted my thinking. I had to get through this so I put on my best poker face and tried to be convincing as I turned to face him.
"Are you okay Bella? We seemed to loose you for a few minutes there," he spoke.
I looked up to see him looking at me expectantly. The little girl was still sat comfortably in the crook of his arm.
"I'm sorry Edward," I replied as I looked to the little girl.
"Hi my name is Bella, what's your name sweetie?" I asked.
"My name is Emily and I am uncle Edwards favorite," she happily declared, causing us all to laugh. Edwards grin only widened as he smiled down to the little girl. I felt my heart swell at the look in his eyes and couldn't look away.
Not content with having the attention away from her, Emily reached up to tug Edwards tie, effectively making him lean down so she could whisper in his ear.
I couldn't hear what she said but the way Edwards cheeks turned that light shade of pink made me curious. Apparently I wasn't the only one to notice as Alice soon stepped up to question her.
"What did you say honey?" she asked.
The little girl giggled before speaking.
"I asked uncle Eddie if Bella was his girlfriend," she proudly finished.
I felt my cheeks heat up and was sure I just beat Edward in the blushing stakes. Could this be any more embarrassing?
Maybe I shouldn't have thought that as Emmett soon pitched in.
"What do you say to that Bella, are you Eddies new girlfriend?" he smirked.
I was stuck for the words to find a way out of this embarrassment when god love him Edward stepped in to save me.
"Leave Bella alone emm, stop teasing her," he instructed sternly. Emmett played innocent as he held his hands up in the air
"Hey I'm only asking the question,isn't that right sweat pea?" he asked as the little girl nodded and reached out to her daddy. He willingly took her out of Edwards arm.
I tried to think of a way out of the awkward silence that had fallen upon us. Thankfully Alice stepped in with a knowing smile in my direction and soon she was off into her mindless chatter.
As the night drew on I hoped I put on a good act of feigning normality when inside I was a mess. How had things come to this and what the hell was I going to do with this new found realization?
And then it hit me, this evening had proved hard enough so how could I act normal in his presence?
There was only one way-I was going to have to smile like nothing was wrong, talk like everything was perfect, and pretend that its not hurting me to be just a friend. It would be impossible but far better than his rejection.
When the family day came to an end and we all said our goodbyes. My resolution proved more difficult to maintain when Edward leaned in to kiss me on the cheek and wish me a safe drive home. I was helpless to his charms and quickly headed off home. That night sleep eluded me as I finally came to terms with my love for Edward.
As time passed my resolution proved a hard act to maintain. Despite my internal struggle we still spent time together laughing and talking as though nothing had changed.
In the wake of my realization I suddenly saw all those little things he did that I had looked past before. I saw him with fresh eyes. I saw the way he held the door open for everyone, how he always offered his seat to anyone without and all the other small things he did for others.
Yes his looks were dazzling, but his personality was more so.
I couldn't seem to control my mind when I was around him. Everything about him was extraordinary and I had to resist the urge to kiss him
Time passed slowly and I seemed to be in constantly contact with Edward. But even when he wasn't around I couldn't get him off my mind. I tried but it was impossible.
Have you ever been so caught up in love that you literally breathe them into yourself?When you ache for the one you love you. There is that need for them and nothing will make it go away, except them. Its like when the person is not near you but you can still feel them, like they are with you always.
That's what it was like for me. Everything reminded me of him.
In some ways I wished I had some magic potion that could cure my love-sickness or some love spell that could make him feel the same for me. But it was no use, I was hopeless.
Instead I found myself living for the moment when he would say hi to me, or even offer me a small smile, because at least for one second I could convince myself that I crossed his mind.
Sometimes in meetings I would catch him looking at me (or so I hoped) and wonder what he actually thought of me or if he ever did at all. I tried in vain to think of ways to get him to notice me beyond the timid colleague I was. But that never seemed possible so I decided I would be happy to just be his friend. I would cherish every word and touch but never reveal my non reciprocated love.
It was approaching early summer and Edward had been at the company 6 months already.
Mostly I had managed to tame my urges in the past few months and managed to carry on like normal. But some days were better than others. There were days I could honestly say I was too busy to dwell on my feeling. Then there were the times that made it impossible to forget.
Today was one such day. I hated days like today, because they remind me of him.
Every song I heard on the radio would somehow find a way to return to Edward. I'm sure everyone has a song that reminds them of one particular person or the situation you are in. And for me this song was it.
"shouldn't tell you all I got inside but I just need to get it out
let me say it if you don't mind
its only you I think about
mmmm when I see you I start smiling just want to hold on tight
I know that must be love no doubt
that must be love no doubt
I can't sleep when all this been around
I need to figure out how this can be so hard for me when it shouldn't be can't get you of my mind
its only you I think about
I can't sleep when all this been around
I need to figure out how this can be so hard for me when it shouldn't be can't get you of my mind
it's only you I think about"
Listening in awe I was amazed how it summed up everything I was feeling so perfectly. For me this song touched me on so many levels. It spoke of how I so deeply loved him and wanted to tell him my feelings but just couldn't.
More time passed and as so many times before I found my thoughts were dominated by Edward. More recently I found it increasingly difficult to concentrate in his presence. It was like all of my feelings were being confined and only magnified the intensity.
One such occasion came during our weekly publishing meeting.
I sat attempting to act natural which was impossibly difficult with Edward sat opposite me looking as attractive as ever. Even after all these months I still struggled. I lowered my eyes to my hands as though they were the most exciting thing in the world and attempted to regain my composure. This was ridiculous why did I have this involuntary reaction to him?I struggled to avoid looking at him.
All too soon my resolve was slipping and I chanced a few glances in his direction.
I immediately regretted it when my gaze came to meet his curious one. He quickly offered me a warm smile just like he always did and I just about melted. That was right before embarrassment took over.
I quickly lowered my gaze and was instantly lost in my thoughts of Edward.
I was miles away in one particularly strong daydream when a voice interrupted my thoughts.
"What do you think Bella?" Jessica's curious voice asked.
I looked up horrified to see all eyes were on me.
Shit what did I think about what? I was too consumed with my thoughts that the last 5 minutes conversation had gone unnoticed and I hadn't a clue what they were talking about.
Judging by the satisfied look on Jessica's face I would say she knew as much.
"Ummm," I mumbled, trying to buy myself some time.
I could feel my face heat up at the imminent disaster of being caught slacking when a familiar velvety voice interrupted my deafening silence.
"I have spoken with Bella about this matter earlier and we are both in agreement that the twilight saga is a higher priority. Isn't that right Bella?" He asked convincingly.
"Absolutely," I managed to reply still flustered.
I looked straight at him clear thanks and gratitude apparent on my face. I smiled my truest smile and he returned it with my favorite crooked one.
The meeting continued much the same way and I made sure to pay attention and not risk another slip up.
As the meeting came to a close I was half way out the doors when Edward came alongside me.
"Thanks for earlier," I lamely said.
"Any time , you looked deep in thought," he asked intrigued.
I could only nod in agreement as I felt the blush heat my cheeks. I could only hope he didn't notice.
"Are you you okay Bella? You have seemed a little distant the past few months," he appeared concerned.
"Have I?" I played dumb.
"Yes you have. I know we work together but I'd like to consider myself not just your colleague but your friend too. So if there was a problem and you want to talk about it I'm here for you?" he offered. I was touched by his concern but couldn't help but think I had never hated the word friend more in my entire life.
Realizing he was waiting for me to respond I managed to smile.
"Honestly I'm fine, I just have a few things going on at the moment, nothing major," I tried to play it down.
"If your sure," he responded. He didn't look convinced but he seemed to drop it and went on to talk about another upcoming project we would be launching later that week.
After that intense conversation with Edward I was in need of my caffeine fix so quickly headed downstairs to the canteen for some much needed refreshment. I had just purchased the said drink and turned around ready to be on my way back to the office, when a sudden force knocked into me.
The force was so strong that I couldn't keep my grip on my drink and as a result its contents went spilling out of the cup onto a very unamused large guy. He wasn't like Emmett beefy, but he was still considerably intimidating. I took in the large coffee stains on hid shirt and the contents he was holding in his hands, which looked to be some sort of manuscript. I didn't want to get on his bad side so immediately started apologizing.
"I'm so sorry," I started but his irate voice interrupted.
"God damn it cant you watch where your going," he fumed
"I said I was sorry," I repeated more annoyed this time.
"Sorry! Your sorry so that makes it all aright," he all but yelled, as a few people looked across to us.
He wasn't finished as he continued to rant at me whilst I stood there humiliated by his ranting.
"Do you have any idea how much this manuscript is worth you stupid...."
I was prepared for some obscene abuse to come my way when a voice interrupted.
"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you," Edwards usually calming voice sounded unusually stern. I couldn't help sigh at the knowledge that he was there.
"Theses are priceless don't you know what they are?" the man shouted, obviously still out for my blood.
"I don't care how priceless they are, that doesn't give you the right to speak to someone like that. Now I think you owe the lady an apology," Edward angrily spoke.
The man looked a mixture of shocked and furious.
"Excuse me, You expect me to apologize to her? I couldn't possibly," his tone was dismissive.
"You can and you will. That's if you want to keep your book deal," Edward threatened.
"What would you know of that?" The man was instantly suspicious.
"A lot considering I'm your editor," he replied
The man went unusually quiet.
"I'm still waiting to hear that apology," he appeared aggravated.
I chanced a look at Edward and was alarmed to see he looked furious. His hands were clenched into fists at his side, so much so that his knuckles were white with the strain.
"Its okay Edward, just drop it," I tried to calm him down.
"No I will not drop it," he looked furious at the suggestion.
"If you cant stand up for yourself that's fine, but I will be damned if I don't stand up for you. I will not have him speak to you like that," he angrily shouted.
I should have been flattered by his concern and for sticking up for me, but instead I only felt anger at his words. "If you cant stick up for yourself"! That was it I had had enough and so I brushed past the pair of them and strode out of the kitchen.
"Bella wait," Edwards desperate plea called out but I had to ignore it. I could take care of myself! This being Edward he wouldn't let it be and soon he caught up with me in the corner and rounded on me. He gently grabbed my wrists to keep me from struggling.
"Why would you do that Edward? why would you deliberately undermine me?" I accused.
"Because you were going to let him get away with it and I couldn't let that happen. Its for the best," he angrily said in a tone that clearly said it was the end of the conversation.
I was outraged.
"The best for whom? What if he retracts the deal?" I was just a angry as him but he seemed unaffected by my annoyance.
"So what if he does?"he casually replied.
"You try telling that to Carlisle," I accused as he looked at me fiercely.
"I don't care about Carlisle,I only care about you. Why do you have to be so god damn …." he angrily started then stopped all of a sudden. His expression became hesitant as he looked like he had said too much. He ran his hand through his hair before he paused and spoke again.
"This is insane. I cant be professional around you. I cant do my job properly if I'm constantly worried about you," he announced. I could only look on puzzled by what he was saying. But there was still one thing I needed to know.
"Why would you even do that Edward?Why would you risk such an important deal ?"I asked seriously.
"Because it was you," he said simply.
I felt my heart swell at his word but soon turned to uncertainty as he hesitant.
"I've got to go," he suddenly declared.
Faster than I could react he was already turned away from me as he fled out of the door.
What the hell was that all about?In all honesty I didn't care, all I knew was that I came out of our argument unspeakably happy. Edwards confession of sorts was quite possibly the best moment of my life . But as I soon found out, all good things never last. I swiftly went from ecstatic and elated to upset and sorrowful.
That same day my world came crashing down around me. Edward was leaving!!!!
The office was in uproar over the shocking news. It was Angela who had told me, otherwise I would have put it down to idle gossip. But once I heard it from numerous sources my worst fears were realized when Edward called a small staff meeting to announce his departure. I tried to remain strong and not let my pain show. Thankfully Edward not once looked in my direction, almost as though he were avoiding eye contact with me. To some extent I was grateful as it meant I didn't have to see the regret in his expression. The meeting was short and sweet and we all quickly rushed back to out posts.
The rest of the afternoon I tried to act unaffected and pretend nothing wrong.
Once I made it home that evening the reality hit. I was inconsolable as I cried myself to sleep that night. I thought of all our times together and wondered what had led him to such a decision. Thinking of the timing I realized he must have handed in his notice not soon after our 'moment'. That only made me cry even harder. I didn't know what I was going to do.
That next day I was miserable and inconsolable.
Though Angela I'm sure suspected the reason behind my mood she never once pressed me on it. Instead she was there to offer me endless supply of cups of tea and sympathetic smiles.
All her efforts were in vain as my downtrodden heart tried to adjust to the facts.
My only saving grace was the fact that Edward was out of the office that day so at least he wasn't around to see my moping.
By the end of the day I was pretty much insane with the thoughts running around in my head.
This was hopeless I had wasted the majority of the day driving myself crazy.
Deciding that I could forget I went about focusing on work and other meaningless tasks like my life depended on it. I was deluding myself to think I could forget but in my fragile state I was willing to try anything.
Despite how my heart was breaking inside, I would convince myself that I didn't love him any more, that I didn't need him. I would somehow get to the point where he didn't affect me any-more.
I was determined to avoid Edward and get over my completely non-reciprocated feelings and avidly tried to avoid contact with him.
If I went to lunch I would sit as far away as possible hoping to go unnoticed.
Unfortunately my efforts were in vain as he always seemed to find a way to corner me in some situation.
The remainder of the week past with insignificant and I was lucky enough not to run into Edward too, except for the odd exchange over lunch whereby he would keep glancing in my direction.
It killed me but I had to remain strong if I had any hope of getting though the next three weeks.
That week was one of my most difficult at Cullen publishing.
He was on my mind 24/7 so much so that my head was in such a mess. I felt like I was going crazy with heartache
I was in denial and thought I could cope with the situation if I just ignored it.
Of course my efforts all came crashing down on me on the last day of the week.
Much like the shocking realization of my love for Edward , another tiny insignificant nothing of a moment was all it took for my resolve to break. That moment came when Angela handed me Edwards leaving card.
Despite my denial a part of me was sure this was all some horrible dream or some awful misunderstanding, that Edward would not be leaving.
But one look at that card and reality came and knocked me off my feet.
All the air left my lungs and my eyes instantly stung with the tears I had managed to keep from falling since my display just last week.
Despite my presence the truth of the matter was that I still had feelings for him. And no matter how many times I told myself that I had to forget him a part of me refused to let go.
I had been strong for so long that once I started I couldn't stop and I hurried off into the ladies room to control the emotional turmoil I was in. I saw it all , I saw my life without Edward.
It broke me to think of not seeing him everyday. A part of me would always love him I was sure. I wish I could say that I was happy for him but I couldn't. All I knew was that he was leaving and a part of me died at that thought.
Half way through my crying fit I heard Angela come in to comfort me. Bless her she tried but her efforts were pointless. I was broken and didn't even know who I was any more. There was simply no me without Edward around. He had become my life and I was morning the loss before he had even gone.
After god knows how long I finally managed to calm my hysterics down somewhat and went about trying to clean up my awful appearance. I looked like crap with my puffy eyes and blotchy skin.
When she was finally sure I had recovered my composure and was unlikely to burst into fresh round of tears, Angela ask me what the matter was.
"Bella you can tell me to mind my own business if you want but I'm your friend and I'm worried about you. What set that off back there?" she questioned.
I stood tense as I tried to think how I could put into words what I felt.
I had never spoke of my heartache to anyone before but I didn't care any more. I just needed to tell someone what had been consuming my mind.
And so I did, I spilled the whole sorry story of my unrequited love for Edward to her.
As I spoke Angela was very supportive, offering me the usual nod or understanding smile.
I was out of breath by the end of my confession, but was glad to have finally got it all off my chest. It didn't take away the pain but my heart felt a little lighter having spoken aloud.
Of course Angela, as I suspected already knew of my affections. Being the good friend I had come to rely upon she sought a solution to my heartache.
"I know your not going to like what I say next Bella," she stated cautiously as my expression no doubt became worried.
"But I think you need to face your fears," she finished.
"Ang noooo!" I declared horrified at the thought of confessing my feelings to Edward.
"No Bella that's not what I meant. I mean you need to see Edward. You cant avoid him for the next week. Look what that has done to you so shouldn't you be making the most of the remaining time you have to spend with him? Don't regret not spending time it him when he hasn't even left yet," she spoke.
"I guess your right," I realized.
"It's just so hard to act normal around him when inside my heart feels like it's breaking," I admitted.
"That's what true love is Bella. its heartbreaking and painful but at the end the day its worth it just for those special moments you get to spend together. Enjoy them and cherish them," she passionately said.
I understood what she was saying and saw with clarity that I couldn't carry on like this.
"Thanks Angela," I replied and we made our way out and back to work.
On way back to my desk I saw Edward across the room. As they always seemed to do, my eyes met his and in that one moment it felt like he looking through my soul and seeing my torment. He then appeared pained and I reluctantly looked away.
I knew Angela was right, that I needed to enjoy all the time I had left with him without any regrets. I could pretend to be happy for him, act excited for his new job because I owed him that much.
That same day I went about actioning my new way of thinking. Instead of hiding and avoiding him I actually went out my way to see him and spend time with him.
I had been a fool before to cut out these precious moments and was keen to make up for lost time.
Edward at first seemed confused by my hot and cold treatment of him, but soon returned to the funny and carefree Edward I knew and loved.
He was obviously puzzled by my odd behaviour, but still he never questioned me about it.
I couldn't blame him for being confused, even I couldn't explain how my irrational mind worked.
Things should have been awkward between the two of us but instead we picked up where we left off before my emotional break down and enjoyed spending time together. I memorized every look, gesture and every conversation and felt all the better for it.
Those last weeks passed all too quickly and as his final week past I was emotional and remorseful but at the same time grateful for the time we had had. I was certain a part of me would always love Edward but I could never regret it either. I had come to terms with the fact that it was time I let him go. As hard as that was I realized his happiness was more important.
The day of Edwards leaving do I was quite honestly a wreck. After a horrendously awful day, we had all gone to the local bar for his leaving drinks. It seemed all too soon since we were having Edwards arrival drinks.
It was torturous. On the outside I was laughing and happy, but on the inside I was crying.
I had long known this day would come but that didn't prepare me for the ache in my heart.
After all of my preparation for this moment I never knew it would be this hard to lose someone I never truly had.
But I could do this, I would do this,I would say goodbye, wish him a happy life even though in reality I wanted to be the one he shared his life with.
I could do whatever I wanted to try and forget or dismiss it, but no matter what, the memory of that day would always be with me.
It was proving to be the hardest day of my life, I smiled when he smiled that famous crooked smile and even managed to distract myself for several moments when Alice was her usual bubbly self.
But still my eyes always found a way to find Edward. Often I was surprised to see him looking at me too. I felt vulnerable by his unreadable expression, it was like he was trying to gauge my reaction.
Still I persisted and watched as Edward laughed with his former colleagues.
As the night drew on I found myself increasingly hurt by his obvious lack of emotion, whilst I was struggling to simply keep it all together.
As I saw Edward making his way over to me, I could only maintain my resolve for so long and found it almost impossible to maintain my charade.
"So I guess this is it,"Edward spoke
"Yeah I guess," I replied hearing the sorrow in my voice.
"I'm sure you will have great time in your new position," I tried to sound hopeful but as always he picked up on my unease.
"This doesn't change anything Bella, if anything I think it will be a good thing for us", he actually sounded happy and that made me angry.
"You talk about it so casually? I mean you don't even seem sad," I said exasperated.
"That because I'm not," he stated so simply that I had to fight to keep the pain from showing on my face.
"Of course I will miss everyone and lots of things about this place. I love this job but I cant stay," he said sadly.
And then the thought hit me, if he got on well with everyone and loved his job,then whatever possessed him to hand in his notice. As silly as it sound what with my own heartache, I had never thought about the reason behind Edwards decision.
"I don't even know why you are leaving?" I found my voice asking of its own accord.
"I'm leaving because of you Bella," he stated as though it was blatantly obvious.
I stood horrified contemplating my humiliation. After all of this time he knew how I felt about him. I had thought I had been successful in keeping my feelings well hidden, but to my utter embarrassment I realized I had been foolish. I had driven him away.
"Things couldn't carry on the way they were going Bella," Edward interrupted.
Then it hit me,I couldn't let him leave because of me. I was the one at fault here and if anyone should be leaving it should be me.
"Edward I'm sorry, please stay. I can change, I wont bother you or make you feel uncomfortable in the slightest. Still If you cant handle that then I should be the one that leaves. I got myself into this mess," I painfully admitted.
"I don't want you to change," he replied.
I could only look on bewildered before Edward completely changed the subject, leaving me utterly confused.
"You asked me a question earlier and I wish to answer it. You want to know why I'm not sad. I'm happy because I no longer work here so I can finally get to do this," he fiercely declared.
I was still utterly clueless until his lips came down to claim mine in the most passionate kiss I had ever had. You hear of the supposed sparks when you kiss, but that would have to be the biggest understatement of the year. Fireworks were nearer the truth as Edwards lips gently but fiercely probed mine. I was utterly helpless as his hands came around my waist and he pulled me against him. Despite my initial shock my bewilderment left and I soon found myself responding. My instincts kicked in and I found myself eagerly leaning into him, as my hands gripped Edward just as tightly. This kiss was all I imagined it to be and more. I couldn't get over the euphoria of having this moment. I didn't want it to end but unfortunately it did.
We both pulled away but only far enough away so that his forehead could rest against mine. I was delighted to see Edwards delighted smile. I could only assume my smile was equally as wide.
"Only office politics kept me from doing that a long time ago," he admitted breaking our silence.
"It doesn't seem fair you having to give up your job," I honestly said
"Sometimes its worth giving up one dream for another. Besides I get to have the one thing I desire the most," he smiled my favourite crooked smile and leaned in to place a light kiss on my lips. I felt his smile against my lips.
"And what's that?" I asked toying with him.
"You," he simply stated before his lips once again came down to claim mine in a soft sweet kiss.
"Jobs will come and go but you are one of a kind, your the only one for me. I couldn't risk loosing you,"he confessed. I was flawed by his words. This time I was the one to take control and plant a desperate kiss on his lips.
"I love you Bella, I have loved you since you were the shy girl, hiding away in the corner at my father's Christmas party," he declared.
"I love you too. I've loved you for so long," I admitted as I clung closely to him.
"But why cant you stay? We could keep things quiet... or …." I tried to think of an alternative.
" Besides the fact that the majority of the office just saw us kiss, I cant be objective with you. No matter how hard I try, I will always put you first. Not that its a bad thing it's the way its suppose to be. But I cant do my job properly if I am always thinking of you. Besides I know how you feel about your job Bella, you want it on merit and nothing more. You and I both know what others would say even through it's completely ridiculous," he spoke.
"Your leaving for me? You would do that? I asked consumed with emotion.
"I would do anything for you Bella. I got sick of having to keep away from you. Then you started avoiding me when I handed in my notice. I honestly thought after what happened in the canteen that we had crossed that line. You don't know how hard it was for me to see you pulling away from me. I thought I was going mad, that maybe you were glad I was leaving,
I didn't know what I had done wrong that would cause you to ignore me. I felt like I had made some mistake and blamed myself for losing you.
I should have known you would be so stubborn. I never for one minute thought that you would be so oblivious to what's right in front of you, that you wouldn't see just how perfect we would be together.
But then I saw you that time coming out of the restrooms and I figured it out . You were pushing me away because you felt at least something for me too. I can tell you how ecstatic I was when I realized you felt the same. I wasn't ready to give up on you," he admitted.
"I'm sorry," I apologised as I leaned up to kiss him once more. He pulled away smiling and his hand came to caress my cheek.
"Don't be sorry, all that has happened led us to the place we are now," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss me once more.
"There's one thing I don't understand," I stated as I reluctantly pulled away.
Edward looked amused. "Just the one," he smirked.
I nodded shyly and blushed at the embarrassment of what I was about to ask.
"Ask away," he said as he caressed my cheek.
"Of all the people you could choose to be with why me?" I asked
"You are utterly absurd," he shook his head as he kissed the tip of my nose.
"Before I met you I had no understanding of what true love was. You caught my eye Bella swan from that first moment. I didn't even know your name but I knew then that I needed to get to know you. I knew you were it for me. You were just too impossible to pass up on. I had to have you. So when Carlisle offered me the job I jumped at the chance of getting to spend time with you," he admitted. I could only cling to his embrace and smile like a fool. But that was exactly what I was- a fool in love.
After that night I got what I had so desperately wanted. I got Edward. We dated and just a few months down the line we moved in together. It may have seemed too soon for many but we had waited too long already. It was right for us.
I was truly happy as I experienced everything I had ever wanted out of love. I never knew what love was before I meet him but now I was positive I knew what it was for sure.
We would argue and we would fight. After all neither one of us was perfect. But none of that mattered, what mattered was that we were perfect for each other.
For those who have got this far and continued to the end, thanks for reading.
I hope you liked it? If you did please drop me a review:)
Equally if you didn't then review too. I would like to know where I am going wrong.