I am currently in debt up to my eyebrows. If I owned anything other than some clothes and a computer (the former because I won't let anyone touch it, and the later because nobody will touch them), I would have a bit more money. Thus, I do not own Ranma or Naruto.

Please check out the rant at the bottom of this; it will warn you of a few things.

It was a bright, sunny day in Nerima, though it was anything but normal.

Then again, normal for Nerima usually involved aqua-transsexuals, people turning into animals, extreme martial arts, and martial artists flying through the air at great speeds. Today, none of that was happening. In fact, most of it hadn't happened for the last month . . .

Three weeks ago, one Saotome Ranma, resident aqua-transsexual and chaos magnet, disappeared without a trace. However, given the fact that none of the chaos usually related to him/her went with him, people were starting to doubt the latter label.

It had started out simple enough, but things went downhill fast when several challengers came to challenge the Tendo Dojo. Normally, Ranma would sort them out and send them on their way. Unfortunately, he wasn't there, and the only defender was Tendo Akane, his fiancé and resident mallet wielder.

Mind you, how she could lose to a guy who practiced Martial Arts Ping-Pong is anyone's guess . . .

She wasn't pleased by this, and when Shampoo came around for her usual Airen check-in, Akane tried to take her on.

The resulting loss put her in a permanent bad mood, and everyone at school, including her friends Sayuri and Yuka, made a point to stay away from her for now. Meanwhile, the collateral damage caused by the fights had Tendo Nabiki, Nerima's information mercenary, scrambling to cover the bills. Typically, she could usually count on bribing the causes of the fights to pay up, but as the main culprit was her sister, she was stuck relying on other sources. Also, since Ranma usually did most of the repairs himself, she also had to hire some people to do it for them.

This in turn resulted in her attempting to tighten the budget and to get the two resident slackers to get jobs. Since these slackers included her father, Tendo Soun, and Ranma's father, Saotome Genma, nothing was done. The only concession she was able to get was a promise to cut down on bar runs, and that was only because Tendo Kasumi, resident housekeeper and her older sister, threatened to stop cooking and cleaning.

Meanwhile, the Chinese Amazons were becoming a major annoyance. Shampoo would not use the door, and though they could get Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother and Chinese Amazon elder, to pay for it, she was savvy enough to pay the minimum price. Then there was Mousse, who kept creating more damage, and for whom they were unable to get Cologne to pick up the bill for on a consistent basis.

Kuonji Ukyo, on the other hand, was a life-saver when she managed to get Saotome Nodoka, Ranma's mother, to help out at her restaurant. However, as Ranma's second legit fiancé, she could not force Nodoka to do this as much as she was, so she tried to pay her. When Nodoka refused it, she sent the paychecks to Nabiki, who was quickly heading towards a breakdown.

Soon, many people in Nerima were eager for Ranma to return, as without him, much of the chaos that came to the area started causing injuries to the residents. Ranma was always ready to take a hit to save someone, but no one else was willing to do that.

However, when a certain sword-wielding idiot started bragging about how he banished the 'demon sorcerer', things started looking grim for everyone.

Apparently, Kuno Tatewaki (resident nut case and kendo nut), Mousse (rival for Shampoo's heart), and Hibiki Ryouga (rival for Akane's heart) had finally managed to beat the mighty Saotome Ranma. It was relatively easy to get the information out of Kuno, and then take the rest out of Mousse, once he was caught, that is.

Using a potent knock out drug, Mousse had managed to put Ranma into a deep sleep. Ryouga, on the other hand, had found some aging mushrooms, and had used them to shrink Ranma down into a five year old, and then used the Chisuiton that he stole from the Musk to lock Ranma into his cursed form, Kuno having been knocked out as well after supplying a magical amulet. Before using it on Ranma, Mousse stepped in and used an Amazonian method of brainwashing, seeing to it that wherever Ranma ended up, he would not remember anything, not even his own name!

Akane wouldn't hear any of it, as she couldn't believe that 'Ryouga-kun' would do anything like that. Everyone else, on the other hand, began hunting for little black piglets. Soon, Ryouga and Mousse had been found, and Cologne began working on a way to bring Ranma back.

What nobody knew at the time, was that things would never be the same again . . .

In another dimension, a giant, nine tailed fox was attacking Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. While that was going on, however, a young, redheaded woman had just given birth to a blond-haired baby boy. She had fallen asleep before he was taken by her husband, so that they could get rid of the fox.

However, as everyone had left to handle incoming patients, no one was around when an odd light appeared around one Uzumaki Kushina. After a second, the light pulsed and flashed, and then she was gone . . .

Nabiki couldn't help but sigh. Soon everything would be back to some resemblance of normality by Nerima standards. Soon, her protector would be back . . .

The mercenary girl had spent a small amount of time as Ranma's fiancé for the Tendo agreement, when Akane had given it up. She didn't think it would happen at the time; she had only picked it up as a money making opportunity . . .

She didn't mean to start developing feelings for him . . .

However, it could not last, as she was in no shape to be defending her claim against the other fiancés. So she made a point to drive him away. Even so, the feelings would not go away. She did her best to swallow them for her sister's sake, but even now . . .

She mentally snorted. With how the tomboy was defending 'poor Ryouga-kun' for what he did, she obviously didn't deserve him. Honestly, Ranma may be a thickheaded, misogynistic ass sometimes, but he was also honorable, chivalrous, and actually quite cunning when he used his head. He also had a body to die for, in BOTH forms . . .

Currently, she and the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew were in the Nekohanten. Cologne was about to use an ancient ritual that would track Saotome Ranma down and bring him/her back to their dimension. It was a rather complex ritual, and held them up for another week just to get things ready.

Ukyo and Shampoo were sitting on the sidelines as the Elder drew a summoning circle. Akane was sitting away from them, mallet in hand. The only thing keeping her silent was Kasumi, who was standing over her with a frying pan. It had already seen use in threatening off human fountains and pandas.

Mousse, on the other hand, had been shut in the freezer in his cursed form. It was widely known that a pig would be joining him later.

Cologne soon stopped drawing, and started chanting as she walked out of the intricate circle. The circle, after a few seconds, started to glow with an eerie light. As the old woman continued to chant, the light got even brighter. Soon, everyone was hiding their eyes from it. Then, there was a flash, and Cologne immediately stopped her chant.

As everyone's eyes adjusted to the ambient light of the room, they noticed a figure lying in the middle of the circle. As everyone stepped closer, Nabiki noted that it was a girl, about eighteen years of age, wearing what looked like a hospital gown. She had red hair, like Ranma's, but it was long and feminine looking.

Suddenly, the other foot dropped, and everyone started moving and talking at once. The girl was quickly moved to a room, and as the experts tended to the girl, Nabiki had a premonition: things were only going to get worse.

After an hour, Cologne came back downstairs, where everyone was waiting. As everyone turned their attention to her, she couldn't help but grimace. This wasn't going to be good . . .

She cleared her throat. "The summoning ritual was successful; Saotome Ranma is back with us."

A tumultuous uproar split the air. Ukyo and Shampoo celebrated, as the father's toasted their success with sake. Nodoka and Kasumi sighed in relief, as Akane's mood worsened. Nabiki, however, would not be put off. "Elder, Mousse told us that she was de-aged about ten years by Ryouga. If that is Ranma, why is she older?"

Cologne sighed. "Apparently, the dimension she was placed into has a different time flow than our dimension. I have checked Ranma's apparent age; it seems that for every week that passed here, three years passed there."

Chaos reigned for a minute, as everyone reacted to that differently. Finally, Kasumi managed to clear her throat, which was synonymous with a judge calling for order in the court. "Oh my, I hope this won't cause trouble . . ."

"What trouble could occur? My son is back, and soon, the schools will be united!" Genma yodeled.

"The trouble is that Ranma could have had her own life back in the other dimension. She spent twelve years there; for all we know, she may have built her own life there. She may have even been forced to leave it behind." Nabiki said, as a worried look crossed her face.

Before anyone could comment on this, Cologne coughed twice. "I'm afraid Nabiki has made more of a point than she thought." At everyone's look, she sighed, and looked towards the floor. "It appears that we brought Ranma back at an awkward moment; from what her body tells me, she gave birth to a child not long before we summoned her."

Gasps split the air. Soun started bawling as per usual, and Genma's face turned red with fury. Nodoka fainted, as Kasumi gave her typical exclamation. Akane ranted about perverts, and Ukyo and Shampoo took on looks of horror.

As all this happened, Nabiki felt her world crumble at her feet.

COMING UP: Uzumaki Kushina wakes up, and is not pleased. A duck escapes, and is promptly broken. A pig shows up, and is roasted. A panda hides in the closet, fearing that he is next. And a young mercenary girl who gave up her heart for her family finds that even if Saotome Ranma is dead, there is still something left to admire in Uzumaki Kushina. This and more, coming up in the next chapter.

Follow-up Notice: Yes, there will be mention of yuri happening in this fic. No I will not write it. I have always believed that for someone to love Ranma, they would have to be at least open to the idea of sleeping with both forms, as he isn't going to stop becoming a she any time soon.

And yes, I am planning to bring Nabiki into the Narutoverse. Why? Because my muse has thought up several scenes involving Naruto and her screwing with the minds of shinobi and civilian alike. Kushina would just kill anyone who messed with her son; Nabiki would see to it that their minds are mush.

In other news, I want to formally open the way for a few of my story ideas to find proper owners, as my muse doesn't want to quit running with new ideas. I'm honestly surprised that she's still working on this one. Thus, I ask for anyone interested in my Kaze no Stigma/Ranma cross and my Spring of Drowned Fairy Idea to step up. All petitioners must email me first though, as I want to know who is going to pick them up so that I can keep an eye out for them. Also, I want to make sure they go to a decent writer.

Also, I may be bringing a new project up, and I'd like a bit of feedback. Has anyone ever heard of Shinji Saotome, by mastermage? It wasn't the best written fic I ever read, but I enjoyed the idea of bringing Shinji to Nerima a bit, and then sending him back to Tokyo-3 so that he could cause chaos. Tellimucus Sundance (is the spelling right? I'm not sure . . .) made a sequel for it, and I signed on as beta. Problem is, he lost interest and dropped the story a couple of months ago. I'm bringing it back, but I want to know how much interest this will garner. Let me know, OK?