Awaiting Twilight

Chapter 1: Temptations

I wish there was something I could do. It's so hard to see him suffer like this. There doesn't seem to be any danger. Yet. But how long can Jasper last out like this? I know he's in so much pain - it's so much harder for him than the rest of us. I need to ask Edward, so I can really know what is in Jasper's mind.

Edward! He didn't turn to look at me, but I knew my thoughts had caught his attention.

How is he holding up?

Edward still didn't look at me, he just frowned. Oh no. That was a bad sign. I was grateful that we were able to have these private conversations. It is helpful to have this insight into Jasper's thoughts. He is finding our new family's diet very difficult. We Cullens, unlike more traditional vampires, only feed on the blood of animals instead of human blood. It's not that Jasper really wants to feed on humans, far from it. He hates it. He hated feeling what his victims could feel. He wants so much to embrace this new lifestyle, but his thirst is for him, unbearable. Feeding on animals is enough to keep us strong, but not to fully quench the thirst. I love Jasper, and it is so hard to see him suffer but we both know it's better for him in the long run.

Is there any danger?

I searched his immediate future but couldn't find any sign of danger. I was very worried, he would be so disappointed if he slipped at this diet! Edward shook his head, very subtly. Well, he moved his head to each side slowly, which I knew to mean no. This calmed me a little.

Let me know if it gets too bad.

His eyes moved to look up at the ceiling and back down, which I knew meant he was agreeing. I am so grateful to him for doing this. I need to help Jasper in any way possible. To look after him and support him.

Thanks for doing this.

I really do love my new family, but especially Edward, my new adopted brother. I can't remember anything before becoming a vampire, I just woke up like this, completely alone. I have my ability to see the future, which is useful, but not in the least definite. I did however see Jasper in my visions, and so I waited for him. When he finally turned up, I was waiting in a diner. He looked shocked when I told him that I'd been waiting for him, but he replied like a good Southern gentleman, bowed his head and said "I'm sorry ma'am". My Jasper. My husband. He took my hand when I offered it and we set off. Through my visions I saw the Cullens. Carlisle Cullen is such a lovely man, a doctor and so compassionate! He isn't in the slightest tempted by human blood due to his 300 years of resisting! Edward, is for all intents and purposes, Carlisle's son. Carlisle had saved him when he was dying of Spanish Influenza. Edward has the very helpful ability to read minds, which, especially at the moment, comes in very handy. Not long after, Carlisle saved Esme, who was now my adopted mother. Carlisle saved Rosalie, my new sister, and Emmett on Rosalie's request. I'd seen my new family, and their interesting way of life, and Jasper and I set off to find them. At last when we did, we introduced ourselves of course, although some of the family were away hunting. We chose our room, moved in, and haven't looked back since. Although, Jasper, my soul mate, still finds it difficult. Rosalie and Emmett love each other, and get married whenever we move to a new place. Jasper and I are married too, but only once. Poor Jasper, it has been two weeks since our last hunting trip.

Oh no. No! Not now! A young girl with sandy hair, had stopped near our table. She was talking to her friend, but the heater blew her scent in our direction. I was used to the thirst, to the aching pain and dryness. It was usually easy enough to ignore, for me at least, but what about Jasper? I began to search his future frantically. It was possible that he wouldn't do anything, but too possible that he wouldn't be able to cope. That he would go and stand by that little girl. That his thirst would over power his control and determination. I felt Edward kick his chair. Thank God. His future was much more definite now. He wouldn't do anything to that little girl. Jasper had the power to sense and control emotions, but I didn't need that power to feel his shame.

"Sorry" Jasper muttered.

I saw Edward shrug. I hated to see Jasper like this.

"You weren't going to do anything," I muttered, trying to sooth him. " I could see that."

It couldn't hurt just to bend the truth slightly. If it helped him. I had seen that he wouldn't do anything, it wasn't necessary to mention the other possibilities I had seen. If only there was some way to make this easier for him.

"It helps a little if you think of them as people," I suggested. It seemed to help me to think of the people like this. "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?" I knew this wasn't working, but it was worth trying.

"I know who she is," Jasper said curtly. The pain. I could hear it. It was there, although he was trying so hard to hide it. I wish there was something I could do to help. I knew the pain of the thirst all too well, it's hard, I know. He didn't want to be the tag along, all weak and suffering. He was ashamed of his thirst and I wish there was some way I could express that it isn't his fault...Well, more some way he would believe me. My unbeating heart sank as he turned away to stare out of one of the small windows around the room. It was pointless to carry on with my useless encouragement.

I stood, and took my tray with me. I had lessons soon. Edward and I were pretending to be juniors, while Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were acting as seniors. It was boring, but worth it. The younger we pretended to be in a new place, the longer we could stay there. Forks was perfect for us. There were barely any sunny days, and so we could live and appear almost normal for the majority of the time. I searched again for Jasper's future, although I could see nothing. Suddenly an image of the Swan girl appeared in my thoughts of the future, and vanished as soon as it came. I discarded it. Jasper is my only concern at the moment, whatever that was, it can wait.

All through the afternoon, I searched for Jasper's future. Everything seemed fine, but he looked so miserable! At last, the bell rang for the end of the day. My mind was still on Jasper but I was finding it difficult to focus on him. Something was trying to come through. Then I saw Bella Swan. Again. I slid into Edward's Volvo. The others were already there except for Edward. Edward eventually slid into the car, he's breathing irregular.

"Edward?" I was very concerned. What has happened to him? Did this have something to do with Isabella Swan? He shook his head, which is really annoying. I know something's up, why wont he just tell me?

"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded.

He didn't reply, just threw the car into reverse and out onto the road. Everyone, except Edward, turned to stare at me. What did they want me to do? I know as much as them! I shrugged at them, and then decided to search for his future. I can't see what has passed to try and make sense of this, but I can see the future. No! Edward is leaving? That can't be right. Why would he leave?

"You're leaving?" I whispered. Hardly daring to speak above a whisper. I didn't want to believe this.

"Am I?" he hissed back at me. Oh no. A new vision entered my mind. Bella Swan, in her kitchen. Dead. Edward's eyes were a glowing crimson. The vision got more pronounced, Bella standing with her back to Edward. He stalked her from the shadows, pulling towards her scent...

"Stop!" Edward groaned at me.

"Sorry," I whispered. I couldn't get over the horror of my vision. Suddenly a new vision. An empty highway at night, the trees beside it were all covered in snow, flashing by at around 200 miles per hour. I couldn't imagine life with the Cullens without Edward. I would miss him so much. I think he'll come back though, quite soon.

"I'll miss you. No matter how short a time you're gone." I told him, and was sure that he would be back soon. We were almost to the turn off of the long drive that led to our home. I think Edward should drop us here, and go to speak with Carlisle.

"Drop us here. You should tell Carlisle yourself." He nodded and stopped the car. The others got out in silence, and I knew they were going to make me explain after he'd gone, but I couldn't let him go without saying anything. I leant over to my adopted brother, who I love, and touched his shoulder. I hated seeing the pain in his face almost as much as I hated Jasper's pain.

"You will do the right thing," I tried to soothe but also instruct him. I needed to make sure he was thinking sense. "She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him too."

"Yes," he agreed.

I got out to join the others, but I was so worried about Edward. He had been alone and miserable for so long, and now this. He is such a good person. I'm sure he'll do the right thing, but I was going to miss him so much. As for Carlisle, he won't take well to losing his first adopted son, even for such a short length of time, and Esme...I dread to think about has Esme will react. She hates anything to damage our little family. We set off into the woods, running. The speed of running usually makes me so happy and exhilarated but now, today, I was full of worry for my husband, and my brother.