Until You Do
by Ekai Ungson

and this is dedicated tooooo:

Chocolate Drop! For insisting. I do love you.

Legality: CLAMP owns everything except fic plot. That's mine. ^-^

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"I just thought I'd let you know that even though I'm far,
I'm close to you within.
And all the time spent by your side is taken deep in me,
held for me to look upon when I'm feeling like
everything and one is hurting me for something or other.
It takes me to a better place,
nowhere I'd rather go

Thought I'd let you know....."

-- "Let You Know"; Hoobastank, Hoobastank

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Chapter V: Break

"Daidouji."

Tomoyo looked up to meet the amber eyes of Li Syaoran. "Hai, Li-kun?"

Syaoran stared at her with doubtive eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Li-kun,?" Tomoyo replied. "Why do you ask?"

"You don't seem so okay," Syaoran grunted. "At least not as okay as you usually are. Because I've been trying to get your attention for the past twenty minutes or so and you only answered just now."

"Sorry," she whispered. "I guess I'm a tad preopccupied."

"I'll say," Syaoran replied. His eyes softened. "You want to tell me about it?"

She looked at him and managed a smile, but that smile made Syaoran wince for some unknown reason. She touched his shoulder. "I'm fine for the moment, Li-kun. But thanks for the concern. I might have to take you up on that offer someday."

He nodded, and the class bell rang. Syaoran made his way toward his seat and the door opened. He turned.

Hiiragizawa.

He turned again and saw Daidouji look up for the briefest of moments and right then he knew that something was up and it wasn't any good at all.

Daidouji was his friend. He would find out what was up soon enough.

And if Hiiragizawa had anything to do with it, he'd have to answer to him.

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When Eriol passed by Tomoyo he heard her low whisper, "daijobu ka?"

"Hai," he whispered back as he slid into his seat.

Class prevented them from talking any further.

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Tomoyo sighed. Their friendship had always been open. She knew everything he was about. He knew everything she was feeling, doing.

Or, mostly everything.

But ever since Mizuki-sensei's arrival, things were a little tense.

A little closed.

/It's not like this,/ she thought. /With him and me it's not like this. He and I should be talking, laughing. I should be knowing all./

/But the thing is-- now he's hiding from me. He never hides himself. No matter what it is./

/And me, what of me? I close myself to him because he might see something more than that I want to show him./

She looked up at the sky, and then at the boy walking beside her.

She grabbed his hand and looked up at his surprised eyes.

"Talk to me," she pleaded. "I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything. Talk to me, don't hide away like this. It makes me sad."

He stared at her. "Do you want to know the truth?"

/No,/ she thought. /This is going to be about Mizuki-sensei. This is going to be about her and you and how sad you are, and I can't bear it, I can't bear it, but I'll bear it anyway, for you, always for you... I love you too much to see you like this. I... I'll take all of this just so you won't be so lonely./ "Yes."

"The truth is, I want to cry, Tomoyo-san," he said. "The truth is it's killing me to see them together but I have no right to cry out because she's not mine, not mine..." his voice broke, and she squeezed on his hand. "The truth is I want to scream my lungs out, because, because..." He stopped. "I still love her. So much."

/Damn it,/ she thought as she pulled him in a hug. His head bent down to bury itself into her hair. /Damn it all. Damn the hell of it all. Why aren't you seeing this, Mizuki-sensei? Why don't you see how much it's hurting him?! How much you're hurting him? And why do you choose to prolong his pain.../

"I still love her-- why am I so weak?" he whispered. "Tomoyo-san, why?"

"You know I don't know, ne?" she said. "All I do know is that when you fall, I go off and catch you. It doesn't matter hwta the reason is. Besides," she added. "We can't solve all of the problems in this world."

/But I can fix you. I'll try my damnedest to fix you. Otomodachi-kun.../ First, she would try.

And then, she could break, finally.