Over the next week after Bella's breakdown everyone had their certain roles in her life. Mine and Charlie's having the biggest impact by far. Charlie was more of a fatherly figure than I think he had always been. He came home at almost the same time every night and she would always have dinner ready. She got into baseball and they watched it together most nights. Due to the fact she regularly woke so early now she always had a hearty breakfast ready for herself.

I became more of a friend than anything else. I helped her during the day. When she ate and through the vomiting which become an almost rare occurrence. I read to her every night and we soon had conversations. The thing about Bella, was that she was very mature for her age. Our conversations were usually set around books like the night we had finished Wuthering heights.

'We're finished' I said looking right at her. She frowned.

'I love that book' she whispered, smiling shyly. I wasn't sure why she was so shy and hesitant around me.

'I met Emily Brontë once' I admitted and she gasped.

'What was she like?' she asked sitting up.

'She was lovely' I said trying to forget under which awful circumstances we had met.

'Why'd you meet her?' Bella asked 'she must be awfully nice to chat to?'

'She was opinionated, always making sure her say was put out. But she was always compared to her sister Charlotte. It made her terribly sad' I said as she hung onto everyone of my words 'I didn't meet her in such nice circumstances. At a hospital actually. She travelled to America for a year and winded up in the hospital. I was only a nurse then, I still wasn't to use to blood as well as I am now.'

'Do you think vampire's have souls?' she asked suddenly.

'Well Bella that is a highly debated topic. And I think we do to a point. But as you know, we are designed to kill a race we once belonged to.'

'Have you ever killed anyone?' she interjected.

'No Bella I have not' I replied and she smiled.

'The why would you be damned to hell?' she asked and I chuckled.

'Why don't we answer that when it comes' I replied and she nodded fervently.

'Do you think I'll ever love someone again?' she asked, she was crying.

Suddenly what Alice had told me sprung to mind. Apparently her visions of this outcome where getting visibly stronger.

'Bella anything is possible' I whispered. She smiled slightly before leaning back on the bed and falling to sleep.

That was the first night our friendship started to come out. It crept up slowly, just the small things making us come together even more. The things I noticed about her; how she bit her lip, or the way her hair had a red tint to it when it was rarely in the sun. She stuttered when she was nervous and pouted when she was upset. She had Charlie wrapped around her finger, but she didn't notice. She would frown when she was caught up with something. She smiled widely as she cooked and she talked - a lot - when she was asleep.

She had said Edward's name a few times, a boy called Jacobs name and to my shock my name had been said a few times. I often stayed until she had been asleep for at least an hour, that's when her sleep would deepen and she would no longer have nightmares.

Charlie thanked me constantly, I had even gone fishing with him. I only caught one fish; they were repulsed by my cold hands and skin. Things like that had often happened, I had gotten Esme an Isle called 'Isle Esme.' we had gone there multiple times and once we had tried swimming with the dolphins. It had been an awfully good plan until they were scared away by the temperature of our skin.

Bella had be amused by the fact that I had gone fishing with her father.

'Carlisle?' Bella called as I walked into her house.

'It's just me?' I called to reassure her. She sighed in relief and I heard her stumble down the stairs. I ran as fast a I un-humanly could and caught her before she fell face first. I looked down at her and smiled, she was looking awfully confused.

'Th-th-thank you' she said shakily looking down.

'There's no need to be embarrassed Bella' I said as I took in her now crimson cheeks.

'Easy for you to say' she whispered under her breath. I chuckled and sat her back on her feet. I kept my hand on her back and guided her down the stairs.

'Being a vampire does have it's ups' I agreed.

'Except for the blood' she said solemnly afterwards.

'But-' she then added in thoughtfully 'I've always wanted to try vegetarianism.'

I chuckled once I had heard this but frowned when I saw her seriousness.

'I want to be a vampire' she said firmly, with no room for negotiation.

'Bella please' I said, her faced filled with sadness and she frowned.

'You don't want me, you don't want me as a vampire because I'm not with him anymore' her voice became accusing and I waited for her to become silent.

'Alice still see's you becoming a vampire' I replied, if it's really what she wanted I could give it to her. At first she looked shocked but then she smiled.

'When?' she asked.

'Before you turn nineteen' I replied and her smile didn't fade.

'Tell me why you want to be a vampire?' I asked her.

'Because I hate being so clumsy, I don't want to blush anymore and I want to be beautiful' she said.

'Bella you are a very beautiful young lady' I said honestly, she blushed and looked down at the table top.

'Bella I promise that one day you'll be one of us' she looked and smiled widely.

'I got Ed-d-him to eat pizza once' she admitted sheepishly. I chuckled and then sighed.

'Promise you'll never make me eat your food' I teased and she giggled.

'I promise' she said with a wink. I was shocked that she did wink but I hid this with a laugh. She smiled widely and then stood up.

'What are we doing today?' she asked and I smiled to myself. I had been waiting for this day. Bella was finally looking up.

'What about this one?' she asked holding up a movie called Nightmare on Elm street.

'Don't girls usually like romance?' asked Charlie. Bella shot him a look and put the movie in.

'Romance isn't exactly on the top of my list' she replied bitterly and Charlie nodded his head.

'Sorry Bells' he said and she frowned.

'Is Nightmare on Elm Street any good?' asked Jasper. He was a good bloke and you could tell it was in his best interest to change the mood. I felt sorry that he was given such a talent. It seemed like a most times it was more of a burden then gift.

'Well it's not a Romance' she said icily and Charlie stiffened.

'Bella' I said in a warning tone. She pouted and looked over at me.

'Why don't we go get some popcorn.' I offered but I didn't make it a question, because she would find a way out.

She followed me silently into the kitchen. When I turned to look at her she was standing at the door. She was holding herself around her stomach and waist. She looked tired and wary.

'What's wrong Bella, really?' I asked her.

'I'm happy' she said letting out a breath 'really but now that everyone's here I'm missing him. It doesn't feel right, I still don't feel right. Angela's got Ben, Alice has Jasper, Charlie has Sue and well you and Esme are still good friends, I think.'

'Bella, Bella, Bella,' I chanted causing her to smile ever so slightly. I sat her down at the table and she looked almost worried.

'Firstly, I thought Sue was with Harry Clearwater.'

She sighed and took a shaky breath.

'Harry died around a month ago and Sue and Charlie have found... Ah... Comfort in one another.'

'I see' I replied smiling 'and me and Esme, yes we're friends but Bella even I still feel alone.'

'I don't see why you feel alone' she huffed and I laughed, again.

'Bella' I said and she shot me a look 'you really don't understand. Yes I'm a vampire, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically happy. That everything is automatically perfect. I may have the speed, the talents, somehow the looks but Bella. Dead or not dead I still have a heart. I still have feelings and sometimes those feelings aren't happy. I thought everything was great with Esme.'

It wasn't but it doesn't mean I regret it. But I know now my love for her wasn't complete. I need you to understand Bella. I need you to realize that if I made you one of us right now, you wouldn't automatically be happy.'

We all need one and it's just such a shame that the person you had left you behind. You're truly wonderful Bella.'


He called me truly wonderful. I sat there utterly dumbstruck, complete with my mouth catching flies while he called me wonderful. Then he admitted that he and Esme were never completely in love and that he was also lonely.

'I know' I replied and he looked at me, waiting for me to continue. 'But Carlisle when I'm a vampire I'll be beautiful forever a teenager. People will want me, that is all I've ever wanted. And I can't help to wonder how I'm going to find love again, if I can.'

'Bella for such a smart young lady you really don't have a very good view on yourself. Don't you realize you are beautiful? Edward told me what all the boys at Forks high think about you. You may not be a super model but you're not harsh on the eye. And you're certainly not dumb.'

'I see myself perfectly fine' I said knowing that I was being completely stubborn, it was in my nature.

'Bella let's look at this from a professional level' he said pulling his chair right in front of me.

'I'm a doctor' he started 'I have been in the profession for almost two centuries. I've seen some pretty nasty things. But the worst thing I have seen by far, is death.' I nodded for him to continue.

'I have seen people die from cancer, die from smoking, die from burns, die from flu's but the worst and hardest thing for me is when someone dies from having their heart broken.'

They stop eating, stop socializing, stop going to school or work and eventually – if medical attention isn't used – they die.'

And Bella I don't think I could live if that were to happen to you. Because you are already a big part of mine, Alice's, Jasper's, Esme's and still Edward's life. The thing is, I don't see you as a family member. I see you as a friend. And I couldn't imagine loosing you Bella.'

I sat there looking at him for a few seconds, 'I didn't realize you were alone.'

As soon as this left my mouth I realized how terrible it sounded. He chuckled lightly and took my hand.

'Why don't we get you to bed.' I nodded showing that I agreed and followed him up the stairs, past the TV room and into my room.

'What are we going to do when I'm a vampire?' I asked him, he looked confused.

'Well it's going to sound weird saying, Bella come help me make popcorn, when I can't eat it.'

'Bella' he said 'come help me look for classic books on the Ebay' he said with a wink. I laughed and he moved to the door frame.

'Goodnight Bella' he said smiling widely.

'Night Carlisle' I replied.

I woke up the next morning and Carlisle was sitting on the rocking chair in my bedroom.

'What are you doing here?' I asked as I pulled my blanket up higher.

'Alice was unable to make it today' he said as he smiled tightly.

'Why not?' I asked and he frowned.

'Complications' I thought I heard him say.

'What complications?' I asked looking at him, he sighed and smiled. Right as he smiled his phone rang.

'Rosalie?' he answerd, 'today?' he sound very worried, which was unusual.

'What's wrong?' I asked, possibilities running through my head.

'Are you leaving again?' I asked, the worry was evident in my voice.

'No Bella' he said.

'Promise?' I asked and laughed.

'Promise' he replied with a wink making me blush.

'Now I have to quickly stop by the hospital do you mind if we take seperate cars?' he asked and I nodded.

'Meet me in front of the Port Angeles boutique at ten' he instructed as we reached the front door.

'See you soon Bella' he said smiling widely. This smile reached his eyes, unlike that first few.

'Bye' I said before closing the door. I took a deep breath and looked around the house for my car keys. I found them placed on the table with a note.

Stay safe, please. It read. I smiled and picked up my keys. I ran upstairs and changed into my jeans and blue blouse. But of course when I looked at the clock it was nine thirty.

I drove as fast as my truck could get me, but of course Carlisle was there waiting for me.

'I'm glad you could make it' he said laughing 'i'm sure your truck wasn't much help.

'That truck could be your cars grandfather, don't be mean' I replied and of course to show my maturity I stuck my tongue out a him. Much to my surprise he stuck his tongue out also which made me giggle.

'Now I have stricked instructions from Alice' he said holding the boutique door open 'which includes a dress for future events, a pair of higher then two inch heels, a tailored jacket, a pair of new black converse, dark blue jeans and lot's of blue tops.'

'I don't have enough money for that' I replied hoping it would get me out of half of them clothes.

'Bella I can pay for it' he said as he walked towards the jeans.

'I couldn't ask that of you Carlisle' I replied holding up a blue blouse. It was almost like the one I was wearing except for the tiny lace buttons and blue ribbon at the back.

'That looks nice' said Carlisle nodding to the blouse.

'Thanks' I replied 'it is awfully expensive.'

'Bella after living for three centuries I have plenth of money, more then enough to buy you a small list of clothes.'

'I guess maybe a few things' I said after a moment of thought. I hated people buying things for me, but Carlisle I wasn't sure why but I felt better about him buying me all these things.

'Well what size jeans are you?' he asked me.

'I'm not entirly sure' I replied bitting my lip out of habit.

'Did you want to get fitted?' he asked me, motioning to the fitting room.

'Sure'I replied, he smiled and took me over to the lady.

'Your a size what?' exclaimed Carlisle.

'4' I replied in an almost aduible whispered.

'Bella' he said 'this isn't good.'

'Obviously' I replied bluntly, I was starting to get angry now.

'Can we please get that pair' he said pointing to a pair of dark blue, skinny cut jeans. The sales lady passed them to him and he placed with the blouse.

We continued shopping almost silently, nodding and expressing what we thought about certain clothes every now and then. We had gotten everything on Alice's list and we ended up at the food court.

'Did you know when I was a human my favourite food was crisps' he replied amd I laughed.

'I like chocolate sundays' I admited looking down.

'Would you like one?' he asked waving to McDonalds.

'I haven't eaten lunch yet' I replied and he laughed.

'I hardley think think it's going to hurt you' he replied.

'Whatever you say doc' I replied and he laughed.

'Two chocolates sunday's' he said when we walked up there, I was about to interupt but he put his finger up to stop me. He grabbed the sundays and picked a table away from everyone for us to sit.

'My favourite colour was green' he said smiling, he smile was infectious. Of course making me smile.

'What is it now?' I asked picking up my spoon. I took a bite and he smiled.

'Theres this colour in between blue and green. Only vampire's can see it, its a beautiful colour.'

'When will I become a vampire?' I asked after a few minutes of silence. Carlisle pushed over hin sunday.

'Alice see's it within the next six months.'

'Six months?' I re-checked with a smile.

'Although things change' he reminded me and I giggled.

'Tell me some more about youself' I asked.

(A/N we never heard much about Carlisle so sorry if some of this may not have been what you liked :)

'Well Bella' he started 'as you know I'm a doctor. I've been around blood long enough that the scent has been blocked out almost completley. But it does come handing when fixing people.'I nodded for him to continue.

'I own an island in the Caribean and also bought Esme and island called Isle Esme.'

'Own an island?' I asked. He laughed at my incredulous expression.

'Yes Bella' he replied 'I also own the Forks hospital. Bit nobody knows that.'

'Wow' I replied. He chuckled and then sighed. Suddenly his phone rang.

'Charlie' he answered, he started talking to Charlie and then hung up.

'There's some things we need to talk about' said Carlisle seriously.

'Has Charlie told you to tell me this?' I asked.

'I told him and he advised me upon telling you when you were ready.'

'And I'm ready now?' I asked and he smiled slightly.

'I haven't seen you anymore ready' he replied.

'Continue' I replied.

'It's about Edward' he said an I took in a deep breath.

'Do you remember how we talked briefly about the coven Edward went to when he first met you?'

'Tanya's coven' I said with an icy nod.

'Well in that coven there is as you said Tanya, her sister Irina who has taken a liking to Laurent. But then there's kate' he said trailing off.

'What about her?' I asked confused.

'Edward went for hunt around Forks, they took him about twenty minutes. The run to the coven in Alaska took another forty.'

'Bella' he said slowy 'Kate and Edward were sexually involved while you were with Edward.'

'No' I whispered shaking my head. This wasn't true. He wouldn't have done this to me.

'Bella I'm so sorry' said Carlisle as my tears started to drench my cheeks.

'I'm fine' I said using a napkin to wipe my tears.

'We need to get a pair of heels, right?' I asked standing up.

'There's a shop near the boutique' he replied standing up beside me.

'Bella are okay-' I cut him off. I couldn't talk about it right now.

'Let's just get the heels' I said walking towards the boutique. We walked into the shoes store and I pointed to a small pair of black heels.

'I think you ll find they're to short' he replied with a laugh.

'They're Jimmy Choo's' I said 'she can't complain.'

'Okay then' he replied smiling. We finished buying everything and we walked out to the carpark.

'Where's my truck?' I asked looking around the carpark.

'Alice has taken it back to your house, she saw an infortunate accident if you were to drove.'

'Right' I replied walking over to his car. I got in and he sighed as he got in after me.

'Bella honestly' he said 'are you okay?'

'Is he with her now' I asked after about five minutes of silence, tears were streaming down my cheeks.

'He's in a boardin school in Africa' he replied grimacing.

'Carlisle just tell me where he is, im not that stupid' I screamed.

'He's with Kate in England on their honeymoon.'

'He's married?' I whispered.

'Yes' he replied shaking his heat. He was holding onto the stearing wheel tightly.

'I can't believe I was such an idiot. And him, I can't belive I wanted to become a vampire for that.'

'Bella calm down' he said.

'Of course he didn't want me' I said as I realised I was shouting and crying. I honestly didn't care.

'I don't know why he even stayed with me, he probably just hoped he could have my blood. I was probably just a game, testing his limits.'

(A/N okay guys this is hard writting bad things about Edward, because I love him. So sorry if I skim slightly over this. But I'm going to make it good. And we still have Victoria so this story will keep going, promise :)

'Bella I need you to calm down' he said and I noticed the car had stopped.

'This isn't fair' I shouted at him. He frowned'I know Bella' he replied grimacing 'I know it's not fair. What Edward did was moronic and I can't believe none of us saw it earlier.'

'Why are you being so nice?' I asked him.

'Bella why wouldn't I be?' he asked 'what Edward did is one of the worst things and to you makes even more unfahomable.'

'I'm sorry' I whispered as my body started to shake.

'Oh Bella don't be silly, you should not be the one apologizing.' I tried to smile at him but I just shock harder. Before I could realise what was happening Carlisle was opening my door and picking me up. He then moved us around so I was sitting on his lap.

'I need you to calm down' he whispered into my ear. I didn't realise but I was now sobbing hysterically. Carlisle was holding me tightly as he closed the car door. He had one arm tucking me into him and the other around my neck. I was griping tightly onto his shirt.

'I want you to breath clearly' he instructed 'in and out.' He said that to keep my breathing in time. He then stopped and looked to the drivers door. Jasper sat in and started the car.

'Charlie's house please' asked Carlisle and Jasper nodded as he started to drove.

'Bella why to feel sorry?' asked Jasper.

'That I split your family' I replied as I tucked my head under Carlisle's shoulder.

'Don't be daft Bella' said Carlisle laughing 'we couldn't imagine our family without you.'

'I thought you said you didn't think of me as family' I replied.

'No' he said 'you are apart of our family but I don't see you as a daughter like I do of Rose or Alice. I see you as a friend, a very good friend.'

'And Bella' said Jasper 'I am terribly sorry for snapping at you, it was inexcusable but you must understand you are like a sister to me.'

'Thanks' I whispered.

'Where almost there' said Carlisle ten minutes later. My body had finally stopped shaking leaving me room to think. I was having trouble comprehending the fact that he had cheated on me. All them times he talked about his self control. And how it wasn't good for him to be kissing me. He probably just didn't want to kiss me at all. I was just the little fragile human toy. If I was a vampire...

'I want to be a vampire' I mumbled into Carlisle's shirt.

'Well talk about it later' said Carlisle holding me closer to his chest. I sighed contently and breathed in. I really didn't know what I'd do without Carlisle.

I had drifted off to sleep and when I woke up in a room I had never seen. The walls were creme and covered in huge oak bookshelves. The bed was a matching oak with a gold bedspread. I was lying on top of the bedspread.

Carlisle walked in and smiled.

'This is my room' he said walking over to a book shelf near me. He picked up a book that seemed as though it should be falling apart, it was in perfect condition.

'This is an original two owner copy or Wuthering heights' he said smiling.

'An original?' I said unintentionally in a questioning tone.

'Signed' he replied with a chuckle. He sat down on the end of the bed and passed the book to me.

'Bella I'm sorry to burden you with all of this but Victoria is coming back, with you as her target.'

'Oh' I replied dropping the book.

'What are you think about Bella?' he asked. It was so simple, if they made me into a vampire she couldn't kill me. Or at least do it easily. I could fight back.

'Make me a vampire' I said shoving my wrist out to him.

'Not quite yet' said Jasper. I huffed causing them both to laugh.

'This isn't far' I announced.

'Don't be silly' said Carlisle 'we promise it's going to happen before your nineteenth birthday.'

'And I only want you or Jasper to do it' I replied firmly and he nodded.

'Of course Bella' said Jasper smiling shyly.

'We should get you home now Bella' said Carlisle 'I can't imagine how today has taken its toll on you.'

'Yeah' I replied getting off the bed. I started to re-make the bed due to the fact that I had messed it up.

'Don't worry about that Bella' said Esme as she slowly walked in.

'Esme' said Carlisle and Jasper.

'Could we please have some privacy?' asked Esme.

'Of course' replied Carlisle. He smiled at me before leaving the room.

'Bella you know I see you as one of my own?' asked Esme sitting down next to me. I nodded and she smiled.

'Well I just want to say, firstly, how sorry I am for everything' she said as I sat down next to her 'but there are some other things we need to talk about involving some things Alice has seen.' I nodded again and smiled at her. She smiled back and I realized just how hostile towards her I had been. And it cut me up because I had not right because she had been nothing but nice towards me.

'Oh Esme I'm so sorry' I said and she smiled.

'Bella' she said 'it's highly understandable' she started 'what you and Carlisle have is amazing. I'm highly envious of it and I can understand how you felt towards me in the beginning.'

'What do you mean what me and Carlisle have?' I asked confused, sure Carlisle was the only person, really, that has been able to influence my life. I don't see him as a father. I see him as a very attractive best friend. Wait, no he's just a best friend. He was just a friend. Friend, friend, friend.

'Bella' said Esme looking quite worried. Oh god who was I kidding, I was falling for Carlisle.


'How could you do this to me' screamed Alice, she was hysterical. And making Jasper flinch.

'Do what?' I asked honestly confused.

'Your letting her marry you in Las Vegas' screamed Alice 'Why?'

'Alice I hardly think you should get worked up about this when it isn't even in the near future' I said trying to calm her down.

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me. 'It's in the future' she said 'I even have a date.'

'It's that definite?' I asked warily.

'Yes' she said smiling widely 'Carlisle and Bella sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G' she sang skipping around.

'Alice' said Esme and we both turned around, Esme was standing there glaring at Alice while Bella stood next to her.

'Oh no' muttured Alice looking from me to Esme.

'Jasper would you take Bella home' I said, 'me and Esme need to speak to Alice.'

'More like torture' muttered Alice. I looked back over to Bella who was staring at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back faintly.

'Bella' called Jasper as he stood at the front door.

'I'll take her to the car' I said walking over to Bella. She followed me out to the car as I opened the passenger door. She sat down and then looked back at me.

'Do you think you could drive here tomorrow?' I asked her 'I have a meeting and the other's, besides Esme, are going to pick up Em and Rose. He's really excited to see you Bella.'

She looked down and took a few seconds before she looked back up and answered. 'Is twelve okay?' she asked.

'Perfect' I replied. she smiled slightly.

'Bella promise me you'll stay safe' I said, I didn't even know where it had come from.

'Promise' she whispered looking down. and then I did something totally unexpected, I kissed her on forehead.

'Goodbye Bella' I said and she snapped out of her daze.

'Bye?' she said making it sound like a question. I turned around and my gaze meet two other very questioning gazes, and one happy, very happy gaze. You had to love Alice.

so there we go. it's longer then my usuals, bella is finding her love for carlisle and HE KISSED HER, kind of. screams*
okay so it took a while and i apologize but remember im australian and for all you that arent i had christmas and new years, australia day is coming and so is school again, yuck. but i promise to keep going and make this go as good as i can :)

BUT ON A HIGHLY BETTER NOTE LET ME SHARE SOME FABULOUS NEWS. for christmas i received the Edward Cullen barbie. its amazing. i also got a book called Hush Hush. its doesnt hold my heart as much as Edward, Robert and Twilight do. but patch does receive some of my thoughts. i highly recommend it.

oh and im going away again, so there will either be a small chapter in the next four days, or a longer chapter in fifteen to eighteen days (:

Au Revoir Ashleigh. xx.