COLOSSONOID
by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, Monsters Vs Aliens, or their characters.

Summary: The Monsters are sent out to fight a giant robot, where Shinji uses his new size to defend Susan and his friends from danger.

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Chapter 3
Robot Rumble

(Area 52)

"So let me get this straight, Monger. You want us to fight an alien robot?" Link asked as the five monsters were transported down the ramp towards the launch hanger on a large mobile platform.

"And in return, the President of these United States has authorized me to grant you your freedom." the gruff general stated.

At hearing this, the group had a relieved look on their faces.

Except for Colossonoid.

"Oh! I can't believe it! Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms. Or, he'll be in mine." Ginormica sighed happily as they continue towards their transport plane.

"I can't wait for Spring Break back at Cocoa Beach, just freaking everybody out." Link said.

"And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments." B.O.B. said.

"No, no! That's me, B.O.B." Dr. Cockroach corrected the blob.

"Then I'll be the world's biggest cello player." B.O.B. said.

"That's Shinji, B.O.B." Link corrected.

"Fine. I'll just go back to Modesto and be with Derek then." B.O.B. said.

"That's Susan, B.O.B." Dr. Cockroach corrected.

"I think I, at least, deserve a chance to be with Derek!" B.O.B. argued.

As the group came to the large transport plane that was waiting to take them to fight the robot, and started loading up into it, and Monger went first in his jeep, Colossonoid couldn't help but feel that something was out of place. Not simply out of place, more like flipped.

"Is something wrong, Shinji?" Ginormica asked, noticing his pensive expression.

"I was just thinking that the irony of this is just incredible." Colossonoid said as he approached the plane.

"What do you mean?" Ginormica asked starting to get in the plane first.

"I mean... first I was the pilot of a giant robot who fought giant monsters. Now as a giant I'm referred to as a monster, being sent out to fight a giant robot." he said.

Ginormica looked a little shocked, but then smiled. "Yeah, that is ironic." she said with a small laugh.

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The large transport plane arrived and landed on a long stretch of road that was just outside the main city where the robot was reported to be headed. The main hatch opened up as Colossonoid was the first one out. He looked around and noticed that everything was clear. No robot in sight.

"It's clear!" he shouted as the others emerged from the transport.

"Hey! This is San Francisco! It's not far from my home!" Ginormica gasped when she saw the Golden Gate bridge.

"Feel the wind on your antenna! Isn't it wonderful?" Dr. Cockroach said with a hearty breath.

"I haven't been outside in 50 years! It's amazing out here!" B.O.B. said happily, bobbing up and down.

"It's a little hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer? That would be nice to know. That would be a very convenient truth." Link stated as he wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.

Colossonoid looked around and noticed they were indeed in San Francisco. This actually made him worry.

San Francisco, being a costal city, was one of thousands of cities to be wiped out in 2000 by Second Impact.

And if this was the 'City By The Bay', and it wasn't destroyed... then what did that say about him?

"Shinji? Is something wrong?" Ginormica asked the young man, seeing his pensive expression.

"I... never thought to ask." he said to the woman. "General?" he said, looking towards the gruff, older man in the jeep.

"Yes?" Monger replied from the jeep.

"Have you ever heard of a place called 'Tokyo-3'?" he asked.

"Son, there's only one Tokyo. Always has been." the man stated. Thank god. He thought.

Colossonoid looked to the other monsters, who weren't much help since they had been locked up for years. Decades, even. Ginormica, however, who hadn't been locked up for years, could confirm what he was saying. And the General had at least been outside since yesterday, so...

But that means... if this isn't my world... then where am I? He thought.

"You okay, son? You look a little spooked." Monger said to him.

"I..." he started to say, then thought of something. If the world isn't destroyed, then.. "Sir? What is the world's population?"

"Uh... about 6 and a half billion. Why?" the general asked, wondering where this was going.

"Then Second Impact never happened here." Colossonoid said. "Oh... boy!" he groaned.

Second Impact? Ginormica thought with some confusion.

While she had never bothered to ask Shinji about his life, she merely assumed that he was like her and was from the same place she was. Now she was beginning to wonder just what his real identity was and where he was from. Though he had told her about his life, his battles against the Angels, she merely assumed it was a government secret that she didn't know about.

However, Colossnoid was jarred out of his thoughts when he felt the ground shake.

"Uh.. what is that?" Link asked. "Earthquake?" he asked as the ground shook again.

"I believe those are Impact Tremors." Dr. Cockroach said. "Which can mean only one thing."

The group turned towards a nearby fog bank, as a giant cone-shaped object with a large single eye on large metallic feet thundered through it. The size of the robot shocked everyone, when they realized it was the same size as Insectosaurus.

"Oh-no." Colossonoid gasped.

"Whoo-Wee! Now That's A Robot!" Monger shouted as soon as he saw it.

"It's huge." Ginormica gasped in mild shock.

"Try not to damage it too much, monsters. I might want to take it back to the farm." Monger stated as he rolled his jeep back into the transport.

"No, no, no, wait! You didn't say anything about it being huge! Wait! Don't leave us!" Ginormica shouted as the transport started taking off.

The robot paused, seeing the group in its path, its scanner suddenly glowing as a light washed over them.

"I think it sees us." B.O.B. said to them, before turning back to the robot. "Hello! Hi! How are you doing? Welcome! We are here to destroy you!" the gelatinous blob shouted.

"I can't fight that thing!" Susan gasped. "I can't... I just... oh god I'm hyperventilating. Does anyone have a giant paper bag?"

"Susan! SUSAN!" Colossonoid shouted, gripping her shoulders and shaking her lightly. "Look at me! Look At Me!"

Ginormica stared into his eyes and froze when she saw a determination that made her shiver. (Which didn't help that much, really.)

"We're not going to let anything happen to you. Alright?" Colossonoid said to her with a conviction that shocked even him.

"Yeah. Just relax. Old Link's got this under control." Link said with his usual cocky attitude.

"Go hide in the city, Susan. You'll be safe there." Dr. Cockroach said. "But stay away from the Tenderloin. Gets a little dicey."

Ginormica quickly stood up and pivoted on her feet, running off towards the city while the others remained to face the giant robot that was even now moving towards them.

"Finally, some action!" Link said as he stretched his muscles. "I'm gonna turn that tin can into a really dented tin can!"

The robot paused and shone its light-scanner on the monsters, pausing at Shinji. Its blue light turned red.

"Hmm. That's curious." Dr. Cockroach said. "Its eyebeam seems to be in some kind of search mode. And it's fixated on Colossonoid." I wonder, would it have the same effect on Susan? he thought.

Suddenly, the sides of the robot opened up and revealed a pair of giant arms, at the ends of which were giant scooper-like claws.

"Okay! Does anybody have a 20 on Insectosaurus?" Link asked.

The robot advanced upon the monsters, lashing out at Colossonoid.

"Hey! Whoa!" Colossonoid gasped as he dodged the claws.

"It's after you, Shinji!" Dr. Cockroach shouted.

"Me? Why is it..." he started to ask, right as the robot's claw-like arms came at Colossonoid from both sides, smashing him between them.

"Oh!" Dr. Cockroach gasped.

"Ouch!" Link gasped.

"Whoa!" B.O.B. gasped.

Suddenly, the arms parted and Shinji was standing in the middle of the two arms, pushing back against them, away from his body.

"Wow!" Link gasped.

"Incredible!" Dr. Cockroach exclaimed.

"You're doing great!" B.O.B. shouted.

"I'm Doing Everything!" Colossonoid shouted back as the robot suddenly lifted him off the ground and tried to clamp both of its hands over his body. Colossonoid pushed the clamps open and jumped out of them, back onto the ground. "Any ideas would be helpful right about now!" he groaned.

"I've got it! Link!" Dr Cockroach shouted.

"What?" Link asked.

"Toss me up to Shinji's hand!" he shouted.

"Right!" the fishman said as he grabbed the mutant scientist and tossed him directly up to Colossonoid's waist.

"You need to work on your pitching, Link!" the mutated scientist shouted as he crawled up the young man's waist.

"Sorry!" Link shouted as the robot attacked Colossonoid once again.

Dr. Cockroach headed along Colossonoid's arm as the giant man continued to grapple with the monstrous robot, moving across the robot's arm and down to the massive robot mouth that had large, nasty, spinning, gnashing teeth.

"You Can't Crush A Cockroach! WHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dr. Cockroach laughed as he quickly jumped into the robot's mouth, spinning and winding through its large maw until it was inside the robot itself.

Reaching what he believed was the central brain area of the robot, Dr. Cockroach quickly started pulling wires and rearranging them in order to short circuit the robot itself. However, the electrical rewiring didn't work, and not only blasted Dr. Cockroach with a surge of electricity, but it transferred over to the metal arm Colossonoid was grappling with, tasering him.

"ARGH!" Colossonoid shouted as his body suddenly went limp. The robot grabbed him up in its right hand, and proceeded towards the city where his other target was hiding. The electrical surge stopped as Dr. Cockroach was violently ejected out of the robot, even as it continued on towards the city.

"Oh, dear. Well... that didn't work out too well." Dr. Cockroach groaned as he shook off his electrical buzzshock.

"Ya think?" Link grumbled as the robot continued towards the city. "His first fight and he gets captured cuz of you!"

"And what did you do to help?" the scientist asked.

"I stayed out of the way." the fishman said.

"Hey, guys, take a look at the size of this thing's..." B.O.B. started to say.

"FOOT!" Dr. Cockroach shouted as he and Link dove to the side, the robot foot stepping on B.O.B.

"I've got him, you guys!" B.O.B. shouted as the robot foot lifted up and came down again. "I think I'm slowing him down!" he shouted as the robot foot lifted and came down again. "Don't worry I won't let him go!"

"Great! That thing's got two of our buddies, we're missing two of our own, and it's getting away! What do we do now?" Link asked.

"Take the sewer system and get to the city, Link. I'll catch up with you shortly." Dr. Cockroach said, staring at a truck with a tram car on its bed as Link took off for the city. "Or maybe you'll have to catch up with me!" he grinned.

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Meanwhile, in the city, Ginormica was slowly moving past each of the large buildings in the heart of San Francisco.

A feeling of dread welled up inside her as she heard an ominous humming and tremors impacted the ground around her.

She walked around another building, out into the middle of a deserted intersection, as the humming got louder. She suddenly turned around and gasped when she noticed the monstrous form of the ebon-colored robot peering down at her from behind a large building.

She gasped as the robot shone its bright blue light upon her, which suddenly turned red. Susan ducked and dodged, trying to get out of its beam path, but to no avail. The second the light stopped shining, the robot started advancing upon her, crashing through building after building like a wrecking ball through a paper bag, and coming after her.

Ginormica shrieked as she spun around and mad-dashed through the city streets, avoiding flying pieces of building-debris as she tried to escape the monstrous machine. However, the robot was persistent. It continued following her, even as she climbed up on a multi-level parking garage and started leaping across building after building to get away from the robot.

She continued to amble over the rooftops until she saw a gap in the buildings, and leapt out to jump onto the roof of an adjacent building. She managed to grasp the roof tiles and the gutter, struggling to pull herself up to keep from falling down to the street below. However, once she slipped off the roof itself, she found that she was only a couple meters from the ground itself.

"Oh!" she gave a weak gasp of shock and surprise, as well as relief, when her feet touched the pavement.

She turned around as the robot continued to advance upon her, only to see it stop when it suddenly started to shake and tremble.

"Huh?" Ginormica gasped as the robot's right hand started jarring and suddenly opened up, revealing, "S-Shinji?" she gasped as she saw her giant counterpart.

"Aaaaahhhhh!" Colossonoid groaned as he pushed the clamp-hand open, saw Ginormica, and then leapt out of the hand and landed back on the street. "Susan?"

"Shinji, what happened?" Ginormica asked as the robot started moving towards them.

Colossonoid grabbed Ginormica's hand and ran back into the city, ducking behind some buildings. She felt the warmth of his touch and actually blushed as he kept holding her hand.

"Shinji, what were you doing inside that robots hand?" she asked again as they ran, neither of them letting go of each other's hand.

"It electrocuted me while we were fighting. Next thing I know, I'm here." Colossonoid answered, looking around. "We're in the city?"

"Yes." she said, still scared of where the robot was.

"Oh boy." he gasped, right before the robot suddenly slammed into the building they were hiding behind, quickly causing them to flee.

"And we need to go!" Ginormica shouted, gripping tightly his hand and running away from the advancing robot.

Colossonoid actually blushed when he felt her squeeze his hand as they ran.

Rushing down the neighborhood streets, both Ginormica and Colossonoid stumbled over several parked cars that were in front of several of the town houses.

Ginormica looked down and noticed that one of the cars was a convertible.

"Susan? What's wrong?" Colossonoid asked, noticing his friend suddenly stopping.

"I have an idea!" she quickly said.

Within seconds, which was all the time the pair had, the two giants had thrust their feet into the openings of four convertibles (which was not an easy thing to find really) and were soaring down the street on a pair of car-skates.

Though Colossonoid had never skated before, he didn't think about that minor detail as he sped down the steep hills of the city, following Ginormica as they continued on their way to the Golden Gate Bridge. Jumping over other cars, people, and tollbooths, they were midway to the bridge when their sudden appearance quickly caused an accident. The driver of an 18-wheeler saw the giant pair coming, and panicked, turning the wheel of his truck hard, sending it into the steel railing of the bridge, which sent it up onto its side wheels, and then pouring out onto its side, basically jack-knifing and ending up blocking the entire road.

"Oh, no!" Ginormica gasped when she passed the jack-knifed truck. She skidded to a stop and quickly rushed back.

Colossonoid, who had been behind her, paused as well and kicked off his 'skates' before going to help the truck.

Racing back to Ginormica, who was trying to get the overturned truck back onto its wheels, Colossonoid grabbed the concrete dividers and moved them aside.

"Go, go!" he shouted at the cars.

More shocked at his sheer size than his ability to enunciate the English language, the cars rapidly drove off.

The driver of the truck, however, had panicked and ran from his own truck, on foot, before the other cars could depart.

However, while the pair were helping the civilians, the alien robot had quickly advanced from the city to the bay to the bridge, and was starting to tear at the cables in order to get to them.

"Oh No!" Ginormica shouted.

Colossonoid grabbed the white-haired woman and pulled her to the side as the robot's claw missed her. The second claw came up and tried to grab them, only to have Colossonoid grab it with both hands, bracing and stopping it from trying to get Ginormica.

"Susan! Grab the other one!" Colossonoid shouted as he pushed back against the arm.

"What? I Can't!" Ginormica shouted, dodging the other arm that was getting tangled in the bridge cables.

"Yes, You Can!" Colossonoid shouted as he continued to grapple with the robot.

"No I Can't!" she continue to protest.

However, the decision was made for her, as the second arm broke through the cables of the bridge and lunged at Ginormica, forcing her to catch the giant claw with her own hands.

"AH!" she shouted as she pushed back against the robot's arm. "What... are you kidding me?" Ginormica gasped as she pushed back against the robot. "I never knew I was this strong!"

"I know! Kinda shocked me too!" Colossonoid shouted as he pushed back against the robot's other arm. "But... in a different way!" he said, just realizing he had made a joke.

"Yeah! Cool! But... We Can't Do This Forever!" Ginormica shouted.

A sudden scream caught their attention, and the pair looked back to see their friends, Link, B.O.B., and Dr. Cockroach rushing to the bridge. Actually, to them it looked like Link was winded as several people screamed at seeing the trio of monsters.

The giant robot suddenly pulled its claws away from the two giant people and gripped the edges of the bridge, turning it downward and causing the pair to fall onto their backsides and slide down towards the robot's large mouth with its gnashing, drill-like teeth.

"SUSAN!" Colossonoid shouted as he grabbed onto Ginormica's left hand with his right hand, his left hand gripping the edge of the bridge.

"SHINJI!" Ginormica cried out in fear as the giant man pulled her back up to him, enough to wrap his arm around her waist and hold her close. "Oh!" she gasped as she found herself very close to the handsome Japanese man.

"Great! Now what do we do?" Link asked.

But before anyone could answer, a twin-bladed military helicopter with a hanging set of lights flew over them, a loud thunderous roar and impact tremor causing the group of monsters to look back and see that Insectosaurus had arrived.

The mighty insect-like giant roared and quickly thrust out his pincer-like claws, snatching the opposite edge of the bridge and pulling it back down so that it was now level.

Needless to say, both giants are glad to see the even bigger monster. Though Ginormica noticed that Colossonoid still had his arm around her waist.

"Uh... Shinji?" the white-haired, blue-eyed woman asked.

"Yeah?" Colossonoid replied, looking back at her in the eyes.

"You can let go now." she said with a smile, and a small blush.

"Oh! Ah! Sorry!" he gasped as he uncurled his arm from her waist.

"Hey, furball! Where you been?" Link asked the giant monster.

"AROOH!" the towering ball of fur roared.

"Yeah, I know. Papa's a little out of shape." Link said as he slapped his gut.

Uninterested in their antics, the giant robot resumed its attack, lunging for the two giants. However, Insectosaurus howled again as he brought up his claws, catching the robots claws with his pincers.

"Way To Go, Insecto!" Link shouted.

"Susan! I've got an idea!" Colossonoid shouted as he raced over and grabbed one of the now loose cables that had been holding up the bridge.

"What's the plan?" Ginormica asked.

"Wrap the arms up!" he shouted back.

"Right!" she cried out and grabbed her own cable.

"GUYS! A Little Help!" Colossonoid shouted as he and Ginormica went into action.

Insectosaurus fired a glob of snot-webbing at the robot's eye, blinding it as the robot continued to thrash around in its grip. The bridge section between the two giants was starting to bend and break between them, even as Insecto roared and lunged at the large machine, jabbing his claws into the robot's chest. The robot let out an 'angry' whirring as it started slamming its arms into the bridge section.

At this point, the other monsters had jumped onto the three giants. Dr. Cockroach crawled up Ginormicas leg to her hip and up her back to her shoulder, Link jumped onto Insectosaurus's belly and up to his nose, while B.O.B. had oozed his way up to Colossonoids right shoulder.

"B.O.B.?" Colossonoid gasped as he lassoed the robotic arm and pulled the cable back towards the end of the bridge, towards the land.

"Don't mind me. I'm here to help." the brainless blob said.

"Okay." Colossonoid said as he pulled on the cable, not sure how B.O.B. could really help, but dismissed it as he kept pulling.

"Now, Susan! Lash the cable around the robots arm behind the claw!" Dr. Cockroach said from the giant woman's shoulder.

"Right!" Ginormica shouted as she threw the cable around the robot's arm and pulled, out towards the middle of the bridge.

The two giants pulled and pulled hard on the robot, halting its destruction of the bridge as it looked between its three attackers: the two giants pulling its arms in different directions, while the monster mutant in front of it slashed and poked at its body.

(Warning! Warning!) the robot squawked as its arms began to get pulled out.

"NOW, INSECTO!" Link shouted as the giant monster roared and shot its claw forward, slamming it into the robots eye, and causing it to spark.

Electrical energy surged all over the robot and caused it to fall forward onto the bridge section. The robot slammed into the bridge section, causing it to buckle, bend and break off, taking the closest bridge-tower with it. The impact pulled the tower down towards the robot's head, cutting it off as Susan and Dr. Cockroach were flung by the cable, the momentum carrying them towards Colossonoid and B.O.B.

"SUSAN!" Colossonoid shouted as the female giant flew towards him, slamming into his chest as he stumbled backwards, holding her tightly as he had let go of the cable to catch her, and quicky righting herself up until she was bridal-style in his arms.

"YEAH!" Link shouted as the robot went off-line, his friends safe and alive.

"We... we did it." Ginormica gasped after several quiet seconds, while Colossonoid was still holding her.

However, with its last dying power cell, the robot broadcast several images to the mothership it had come from. Images of Shinji and Susan, whom it had come for.

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Several light-years away, a large and oddly shaped space craft was receiving the images and informing its master.

Gallaxhar.

(Retrieval has failed. Don't get upset. It happens to everyone.) the ship's sexy computerized voice said.

"RAH! Those lower life forms think that they can steal my Quantonium?" the blue-skinned, four eyed, tentacle-legged alien shouted. "Send another probe at once!"

(Quantonium cannot be retrieved via robot. Carbon-based life forms, locally known as Shinji and Susan, are now too strong.) the computer said.

"Oh! You think that just because you're all big and strong, and you can destroy my robot probe, that you're going to send me running and hiding? I don't think so. My days of running and hiding are over!" he said as various implements, such as cups and spoons and creamers and coffee pots levitated around him. "Computer set a course to Earth. I will retrieve the Quantonium myself, even if I need to rip it out of their bodies, one cell at a time." he said as he took his tea and poured it into his ear, the sudden heat becoming very intense and causing him to spit it out of his mouth.

(Careful. It's hot.) the computer said.

"Thanks!" he said, sarcastically.

(You're welcome. Course plotted for Earth. ETA: 12 hours.)

"Excellent. When we get there, we'll dispose of those pathetic Earthlings and their pet monsters once and for all."

(Then what are you going to do about the giant robot?)

"What robot? The one they destroyed?"

(No. The one that is resting at the bottom of the bay.)

"You mean my robot!" the alien spat.

(Negative. The other robot.) the computer said.

"There's another robot in the bay? Wow. Place must get attacked regularly." he scoffed. "Show me."

(Robot probe detected another robot in the vicinity of its final battle.) the computer said as it brought up the images.

"Hmm. Interesting. This thing can't be Earthling-built. But... if it is... then it's obviously not something from this universe." he mused. "Could use a few modifications and some special improvements. Computer! Begin plans for modifications! You know the ones I like."

(Yes, Gallaxhar.)

"Whatever this thing is, I can no doubt use it to my advantage. And when I do... ALL WILL FEAR GALLAXHAR!"

And with an evil, diabolical laugh, the ship sped towards the unsuspecting planet Earth.

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Authors Notes:

Sorry about the long delay in updating this story. Hopefully this makes up for it. If not what you expected, please let me know and I'll do my best to fix it to the best standards that you want for it.

I'll try to get some omakes made up for the next chapter. Couldn't think of anything for this one. Sorry.