Chapter 1: Epiphany
A/N: Hey everyone! I was going through my laptop looking for some old research when I stumbled upon this dusty old baby! This was one of the very first Blackwater stories that I wrote but never published, until now that is. I read through it and decided it was finally worthy of being in the limelight. So without further ado, enjoy!
Note: This story is set about seven years after Breaking Dawn and to all Renesmee lovers, I'm taking a very different approach to Renesmee in this story. I am sick of her being portrayed as goody-goody and innocent all the time and so I decided to kick some dirt at her for once. Seth is also away at college in Alaska with Embry and Quil, this just needs to be in order for the plot to work.
Summary: Leah Clearwater's life has always been a soap opera, but at the end of the winding road, good always triumphs over evil. And Renesmee Cullen is not the angel everyone had perceived her to be. BLACKWATER two-shot! Pls R&R!
*** BLACKWATER ***
My name is Leah Clearwater,
Come read my tale of time;
My life is a soap opera,
Fate doesn't give a dime.
Renesmee plays the angel
And perceived the devil I be,
But there's more to the angel's pretty face
Much more than what you see.
I love the russet charmer,
Jacob is his name;
And though I know I love in vain
Still, my heart I let him claim.
Jacob wed the angel,
His love for her never halts
But when a child is born to them
Oh behold the angel's faults!
*** BLACKWATER ***
I'd always been a bitch to him, to everyone, the bitter little shrew who was selfish and unfeeling. But he'd put up with me and never laid a finger on me, until now. Tears rolled down my cheeks as the knifing sensations in my chest seemed to overpower even the sting of the gashes on my stomach. I'd gone too far this time and I'd regretted my actions the moment I'd committed them, and I deserved my beating; I had pushed Jacob to it.
He had put me in my place tonight and I could feel the immediate change. All traces of my old self were gone. No more bitchiness or sarcasm, not even hate; you had to feel something to hate and the truth was, I didn't feel anything. All that was left was broken pieces of my heart that lay cold and dead in my stomach. It's not my fault that I love Jacob.
I gingerly rolled the bandages around my torso; the gashes ran right down my front, three of them running from my collarbone right down to below my navel. They were healing but it wasn't the physical pain that tore me apart. He hit me. He bit me too. A sob caught in my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut as the incident replayed through my mind.
Growls and snaps filled the air around us as Jacob chased me through the forest. I dug my paws into the damp bark, pushing my limbs faster as I tried to evade him. I'd put up with her taunts long enough, that filthy half-breed Renesmee. She was no angel. In front of everyone she portrayed the pristine princess, pure, innocent and completely incapable of doing any harm. Huh, what a fucking joke! She was the devil's advocate in disguise!
Even as a child she had been equally scheming. She'd read my diary when she was three and discovered my hidden feelings for Jacob. Since then she'd mocked me endlessly whenever she saw the opportunity. I told everyone, told them over and over, but naturally no one gave a rat's piss about what I said and took my words to be lies of spite and resentment. Even the bloody mind-reader didn't believe me, though he could see into my fucking head. Did he think I'd dreamt it all up? Her smirks, her taunts? Everyone believed the damn angel. Some angel she was; the things she'd said to me just five minutes before were a far cry from angelic. She deserved every punch I'd aimed to mar her perfect little face.
DON'T YOU RUN FROM ME, CLEARWATER!
You've never given me a chance! You don't know what she's done, what she's said to me!
I felt Jacob's front paws graze either side of my flanks and within seconds he'd pinned me to the ground beneath him. A gasp escaped me as I locked gazes with him. He looked murderous; this was a side of Jacob I'd never been exposed to before. His muzzle was pulled back across his snout, exposing a threatening set of canines as he snapped in my face and his hackles rose.
Don't start that shit again, Leah! I know Renesmee and she wouldn't even hurt a damn fly, so don't give me your crap about what she's done to you! You've never liked her from the beginning, I know that, but you don't have to make up fucking lies to make her look bad so you feel better about your pathetic self!
Hurt stabbed at my heart as his words sunk in. Ouch. He didn't understand, he couldn't see, he never did. Was it so hard for just one person to even give me the benefit of the doubt and maybe even consider that I was right about Renesmee? Yes, of course it was hard. Life had always been hard on me and it wouldn't be any different now.
She's lying to you, Jake. Whatever she's told you about me, she's lying!
A snarl erupted from his chest as he placed one paw flat on my chest and his eyes narrowed to slits as he spat, You're the one lying, Leah. Are you going to tell me she's lying about you hitting her? ARE YOU? EVEN WHEN I SAW THE BLOOD ON HER FACE AND I CAN SMELL HER BLOOD ON YOU?
I could still hear Renesmee's words ringing in my ears even with Jake yelling at me through our joint minds: "At least I didn't have to reduce myself to a whore and sleep with Jacob to get his attention, and maybe he would've imprinted on you if you weren't a menopausal shrew! I may be a fucking half-breed but at least I can still serve my basic purpose of being a female in this world by bearing offspring!"
Jacob heard her words as I thought them and roared, YOU LIE, LEAH! SHE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT!
Fear coursed through my veins as Jacob's temper reached a peak and with whatever courage I had left I whispered, I'm not lying. She deserved what she got…
Pain came next as Jacob raised his paw and brought it down hard against my chest, winding me completely as I emitted a strangled whine. I was beyond terrified now as he raised his paw yet again and swiped it across my belly, drawing blood. Again and again his paw raked across my underside, my whimpers soon becoming full-blown whiny sobs.
Jake! JACOB! Stop! Please! PLEASE STOP!
WHY SHOULD I? YOU HIT HER, DIDN'T YOU? TIME FOR YOU TO TASTE SOME OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE!
Now even my own conscience was mocking me as I suffered my fate. He doesn't love you, Leah. He loves her. He doesn't love you. He hates you for what you've done... he doesn't love you… I could feel myself breaking with each swipe of Jacob's paw, strips of myself being torn away from me.
Jacob ceased with his pawing and brought his muzzle down to my neck, Apologise, Leah. Say you're sorry!
The remainder of my pride fought for control. No I wouldn't say sorry. I wasn't sorry for hitting Renesmee. She fucking deserved it! But the other part of me, the part that was gaining dominance with each passing second of my humiliation was telling me to apologise. At least apologise for angering Jacob if not for hurting his precious imprint.
I let out a high-pitched whine as my Alpha sunk his jaws into the side of my neck, APOLOGISE!
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the rest of the Cullens approaching me, Carlisle and Edward leading the group. They had been away hunting, out of the house, when my clash with Renesmee occurred. Needless to say they had temporarily put their blood-hunting spree on hold when they'd spotted Jacob on his little tirade chasing me.
I saw Renesmee run up to Jacob, the evil woman, "Enough, Jacob. You'll kill her. Two wrongs don't make a right."
There she went again. Playing the innocent victim who had compassion for her foe. I hoped she'd rot in hell one day.
Jacob released his hold on me and I whimpered, rolling over, heaving, onto my side. He growled at me a last time before he spat some of my blood that coated his muzzle onto the ground and left.
END OF FLASHBACK
I curled up on my bed, abandoning the first-aid kit that lay dangling off my bedside. My fingers tangled themselves in my hair as I let my tears run free down the copper planes of my weary face.
"I c-can't help l-loving you, J-Jacob." I whispered my voice hoarse from all the crying I'd done. My gaze shifted to the dark sky outside my bedroom window and I gritted my teeth, silently cursing life and fate, "Don't punish me for something that isn't my fault! What've I ever done? Is it so wrong for me to fall in love and be happy?"
Sniffling loudly I let my tired mind wander back seven years, to that small stretch of time when I'd first joined Jacob's pack. He was sore and bitter over Bella and I was the same over Sam. Both of us needed to escape and it was in each other's arms that we found just that. Had I known it would lead to another collapse of mine I'd have resisted the temptation; the lust, but I'd always found him attractive after he'd matured, and our common situation was what tipped the scales.
Secretly on patrols, we would fall into each other's arms and have sex, his hands roughly grabbing at my exposed form as he trailed kisses down my neck and pushed his hips into mine. On other occasions, we would both just need some comfort, someone to hold and soothe the hurt that seared within us and the sex would be sweet, slow and gentle. I enjoyed his fondling and he enjoyed my touches but with each kiss and caress I was digging a deeper hole around myself, and now I was suffering the consequences.
Eventually I fell asleep that night the same way I had for the last seven years, my eyelashes moist and tears still seeping from under my closed eyelids. I dreamt of him as usual and it was a good dream. We lived in a cosy batch by the beach and my Jacob was sitting in a chair by the window, cradling our beautiful baby girl, Dinah… The beautiful baby girl and loving husband I would never have…
*** BLACKWATER ***
One year later
I liked to think of myself as a spiral seashell now, perfectly sewn together with no trace of the hollowness within it. If you held the shell up to your ear you would be able to hear the whispers of the sea just as how if you looked into my eyes you would be able to see the memories of my twisted life. It'd be been a year since my spirit had been broken and if I'd thought things had hit rock-bottom then, I couldn't have been more wrong.
"Aaaahhh!" Renesmee panted as she clutched her swollen stomach, her knees propped up, "How long more do I have to wait until I can start pushing, Carlisle?"
"You're only 6 centimetres dilated, it'll be another half an hour or so before you're ready for the actual birthing process."
"You're doing great, Ness," Jacob encouraged, his fingers entwined with hers as he sat by her bedside unfailingly, "Just relax and breathe through the contractions."
Even from where I sat in my wolf form down by the porch steps every word they exchanged four storeys above me was crystal clear. Sam's pack was somewhere on the boundaries of their territory, awaiting updates on Renesmee's labour from me. Our minds were no longer one, which meant that if I had news to deliver, I would have to run to the border, phase and speak with them which was something I less than enjoyed doing.
I'd always thought that films and TV shows had exaggerated the difficulty of childbirth for the sake of entertaining the audience, but judging by Renesmee's cries of distress, childbirth sounded as difficult as it was portrayed.
I would do anything to have a child, especially if it was Jacob's. Jacob. My sweet Jacob. I really was off my rocker. He'd been cold and distant from me ever since our row and yet my stubborn heart still held love for him. Many a time I had contemplated suicide but my conscience would always remind me endlessly that Jacob needed me, for what I didn't know but he did. He didn't need me, he had Renesmee. What did he need me for?
Suddenly a new scent caught my nose, pulling my head out of the clouds. In the distance I could hear Sam's pack howling, no doubt because they had sensed that there was a visitor in the woods, but this scent was different, strange. It was not quite as pungent as the scent of a vampire, but still held traces of it. The scent was new and yet it wasn't unfamiliar either; it was much like the scent of Renesmee but more masculine.
I rose to my feet and sniffed, following the scent as I broke into a trot. Heading into the forest, I followed the scent east as it grew stronger and stronger until I saw it, in the distance at the top of a slope. A growl rumbled in my chest as I bared my fangs at it. It turned its blue eyes on me and I gasped in surprise. I recognised him.
Eight years before when the Volturi had invaded Forks I'd encountered him, Nahuel. Briefly I wondered what business he had here but the moment he saw me he bolted further into the trees and out of sight. I half thought of pursuing him when the far-away cry of a baby echoed in my ears, sending me sprinting back to the Cullens'.
"It's a boy," Esme filled me in, beaming from ear to ear as she left the room, passing me on her way out. Bella, Edward, Carlisle and Jacob were the ones immediately around Renesmee and the baby, with the other four Cullens standing around wherever there was space.
I faked a smile at Esme and lingered hesitantly in the doorway, watching the squirming bundle in Renesmee's arms. For a moment I saw myself on that bed instead of her, with Jacob smiling down at me and our child, but the vision vanished when Renesmee's tinkling voice invited me in.
"Come in, Leah, don't be shy," Renesmee said, her voice soft and sweet. The scheming woman, how long was she going to put up this façade? My heart was her favourite pin-cushion and she was piercing another needle into it right then.
My legs carried me forward nonetheless, my eyes stinging with tears as I watched Renesmee live the life I had so desperately wanted. Jacob lifted his son into his arms for the first time and turned toward me as I approached. His own eyes were brimming with tears of joy and he smiled at me for the first time in a year. My own smile tugged at my lips as I took in the smile I had yearned to see from him in so long.
The baby boy was beautiful. It had fair, dewy skin like Renesmee's and her bronze curls. To be honest he didn't look much like his father, but you know what they say, babies go through eighteen phases of change in their life and most turn out looking very different to in their childhood years. For the moment I let go any of my hate and bitterness for Renesmee and felt happy for her and Jacob. After all, what was the point of being bitter when bitterness would get you nowhere?
However, the momentary peace was shattered as I witnessed the one thing that would change my destiny forever. The baby squirmed in his father's arms before opening his mouth wide, revealing a fully formed set of gleaming teeth and sinking them into the crook of Jacob's right arm. Jacob gasped in shock before a look of utmost pain shot across his handsome face.
I could feel the tension and panic in the room rise to a peak as Carlisle dashed to remove the baby from Jacob's arms and handed it back to Renesmee. Crimson blood flowed from the crescent shaped bite mark on Jacob's arm and I saw him clutch at the wound frantically before he swayed on his feet and collapsed to the floor in a fit of spasms.
"J-Jacob?" I stuttered as his large frame knocked into me on its way down. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a look of panic mar Renesmee's angelic face and as the baby lifted its blue eyes to meet mine, everything clicked. Renesmee's eyes were not blue and neither were Jacob's for that matter and then I saw the light, like a thousand light-bulbs being switched on. This would be the downfall of Renesmee Cullen-Black.
I felt the old flames of my former self re-ignite as I turned my angry eyes on Renesmee and spat, "How could you? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO JACOB?"
*** BLACKWATER ***
A/N: Dun, dun, dun! The baby's venomous! *gasp* How? Why?
Ok everyone! That was chapter 1! What do you guys think? Is it worthy of your time? Should I put up the next chapter or should I just take the story down? Do review and let me know! Thanks for reading, I appreciate it!