Name: Ten Things John Has Learned From Being With Evan Lorne
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Rating: R
Summary: Ten things John has learned from being with Evan Lorne throughout their relationship.
Pairing: Sheppard/Lorne
Timeline: Takes place somewhere before Doppelganger.
Spoilers: "The Siege (Part 2)", "Dopplerganger", "Tabula Rasa", "Outcast", "The Kindred (Parts 1+2)", "The Last Man", "Ramnants", "Infection", "Evemy at the Gate".
Warnings: Adult Themes.
Disclaimer: Stargate and Stargate Atlantis belong to a lot of people but unfortunately none of them are me.
A/N: I would like to thank the wonderful beta Enedre Drakaina, who helped above and beyond with what I asked. Also please note that this is not a sequel to "Crossing The Line".

Ten Things John Has Learned From Being With Evan Lorne

1. To talk about his feelings.

John learns early on that if he wants to get anywhere with Evan he needs to tell him the truth about his feelings. Evan is a man who appreciates honesty. He informs John that he has no intentions of breaking a handful of different rules and regulations just to be his fling, so John has to tell him the truth. That he really does love him and that Evan is not a fling.

Evan smiles at him after that and returns John's kiss with an eagerness that surprises John. But John knows he has just set up a precedent and Evan warns him that he will not hesitate to remind him of it throughout their relationship.

So John finds himself telling Evan everything and thinks, for a moment, that he was never this open with another human being, not even Nancy. He knows a part of it is that Atlantis changes people. Another part is that the reality they are living in dictates that the choices are few when it comes to the things that really matter. Live or die, win or lose, take or it will be forever lost. John chooses to take, and is happy even with the demands that come with it.



2. To cuddle.

John has never been a cuddler. He has cuddled many women in his life, but for the most part it was by demand and not by choice. Evan, on the other hand, likes to cuddle. Even when sleeping alone Evan cuddles his pillow, curling his supple body around it and pressing his nose into the corner.

When Evan sleeps with John in the same bed they always cuddle together. At first it was because Evan liked it so much that John obliged and opened his arms for him, but now John realizes that something is different. For starters he is now the one being cuddled, and he doesn't mind admitting that he likes it very much. Evan's arms are strong around him, and Evan's chest is broad and covered with sparse hairs that press against his back. When Evan presses John to him he burrows his nose into the curve of John's neck and shoulder and sticks his knee between John's thighs.

Then there's the fact that in the morning John can feel Evan's morning erection nestled between his ass cheeks, and discovers that morning sex and shower sex is by far a nicer way to start the day than a run with Ronon.

John thought he'd hate being trapped like this, but being wrapped so thoroughly in Evan gives him a sense of peace and security that not even the Ancient shield and drone platform managed to install.



3. To never bet with Evan.

Evan bet John that Rodney will be all over him with questions once John has told him about their relationship. John is overconfident and bet Evan that Rodney will be too freaked out to even want to know about his friend's homosexual life, so he is shocked when he realizes that he has lost miserably.

John tells his team about him and Evan off-world, figuring that it's safer that way. They'll have more than enough time walking around Ancient ruins to digest the news, he decides, but by the time he finally picks up the courage to do it they are already heading back to Atlantis.

Rodney doesn't stop asking questions from the moment John tells him, through their long walk back to the Stargate, right to the moment John is dialing back home, and claims that it is all in the interest of science. Only when John offers to talk Evan into a threesome for Rodney to get some first hand experience does Rodney shut up, but it's too late. Evan is standing in the control room and it doesn't take a PhD to interpret the curious look Rodney gives him to know who's won.

That night John's hands are tied to the bed with a soft stripe of flannelette, and the sex is amazing.



4. To stand still.

John was never one to stand still. He is all for lazing around, but it has to involve something to occupy his mind. Standing still and not talking is something he's not good at. He starts to fidget and shift, and eventually gets up and walks around.

When Evan declares that he wants to paint John's portrait, John shrugs and obediently sits where Evan tells him to. But when twenty minutes pass without a word being said John begins to grow bored. When John starts to talk Evan stops to patiently explain that he needs to concentrate, and when John starts to squirm Evan stops altogether. He looks at John, doesn't need John's awkward excuses about not being able to hold still, and to John's surprise throws the beginning of his painting away.

The next thing John knows he's being undressed and a clever tongue brings him to full hardness. Evan positions him in a sun-bathed spot, aroused and confused, and undresses as well. When Evan turns to John once more he has a new canvas on his easel and one hand curled around his own erection.

While Evan paints all John can think of is Evan's hard dick begging for attention, and Evan's eyes that seem to reflect every dirty thought that crosses his mind. Without John realizing it an hour has gone by, and when Evan shows John the finished painting John says that he's sure it's very nice right before diving to his knees in front of his lover.



5. To never make promises neither of them can keep.

John tells Evan at the beginning that they can't be seen together. Evan agrees, and they arrange to meet and then part without anyone staying overnight.

They first break that rule after John meets his dark side and nearly dies while kicking his own butt. Evan is tense, nervous and freaked out by the fact that he was pointing a gun at John. He asks John in a quiet voice if he can stay the night and John agrees. John relishes Evan's warmth and the steady beat of Evan's heart under his ear so he lets it pass as a one time thing.

John honestly believes that was going to be the first and last time because since then three extremely uneventful months have passed, and then it happens again. And again. And by the time they realize an entire week has gone by in which Evan's bed remained made and neat, it's too late to stop it.

This time it is John who start it by holding Evan in a silent plea for company after they both forgot everything due to the Kirsan fever, even their own names, and the prospect of their lives meeting such a lonely end is unsettling. The night after it's Evan who refuses to leave, for that very same reason. He follows John into his room and devours John's mouth the moment the door is closed.

On the third and fourth night they are both too tired from mind blowing sex to even clean themselves up. Instead, Evan opens his mouth and licks every inch of John clean, and later John tastes his own essence and sweat on Evan's tongue.

On the fifth day John meets a visiting General who was a friend of Colonel Sumner. John is very sorry that he had to shoot Sumner but none of the Colonel's many friends was there, and none of them understand, so why do they keep accusing him of it? It's Everett all over again, and John is so pissed he injures Ronon during their practice. Evan stays in John's room and stubbornly refuses to leave until John is ready to tell him what's wrong. By the time John finally relents it's late and they're both so tired they fall asleep, still in their clothes, curled around each other.

By the seventh night it's already a habit, and John finds that he isn't all that worried. Most of the senior staff, who have been keyed to their doors for security reasons, already know. With the exception of Radek sending them a naughty wink, the world still spins around its axis and the Wraith are still hoping to feed on them all.



6. To never tease Evan in front of other people.

John teases Evan once during a movie night with his team. John doesn't even remember what it was about because Ronon was hogging the popcorn and he was too busy fighting that battle to notice the way Rodney's eyes lit up. Later Evan tells him that Rodney won't stop repeating that bad joke and blames John for just about every one of Rodney's faults. It is all good-naturedly and John forgets about it as soon as he threatens to shoot Rodney if he doesn't stop.

When the Deadalus arrives with a surprise in the form of vanilla-chocolate ice cream cones John is sitting beside Evan in the mess hall, watching him go down on the cone and moan his appreciation. Dr. Keller, Amelia, Chuck and Miller are there as well and are all amused by Evan's delight in his chocolate treat, something he's apparently infamous for liking. None of them are aware that John's pants are getting too tight to contain him.

When a drop of creamy vanilla makes its way down from the corner of Evan's mouth John sees Evan looking smugly at him, and has to bury his head in his hands before he is tempted to do something unfortunate.

When Dr. Keller expresses concern for John, Evan solemnly informs her that John is a little stiff in his lower regions due to a too extensive warm up session before their practice.



7. To be jealous.

John has never felt jealous. Not over a lover, at least. He is jealous of Ronon and Teyla who learned from such a young age to be so graceful while doing battle. He was jealous of Elizabeth's and Carson's natural ease with people and emotions. He is sometimes jealous of the intimate command Caldwell has, as opposed to John's command where people come and go and die without him ever remembering their names.

But he has never been jealous over lovers. He's the ladies' man and sometimes the gentlemen's man as well. In his entire life everyone he has ever wanted was his, as well as a lot more he never even knew he could attract.

That is why he doesn't know what the strange burn in his throat is when he's standing in the gate room and watching Evan hug a blond young man enthusiastically.

They are there to receive the new batch of soldiers from the SGC. The new men have just finished piling through the gate when Evan moves from his place beside John and happily steps into the blond man's arms, and before John knows what's happening they are already walking away from the group. John thinks that the strange sensation is simply resentment at Evan for leaving him alone with a group of newbies gaping at his every word so he gets on with the tour.

The blond man's name is Kearney and it turns out that he's a friend of Evan's from their time at the SGC. Evan is thrilled to see him again, and is busy most of the day showing him around and helping him pick out suitable quarters. John is strangely annoyed, but thinks it's because he has to process all of the newcomers' personnel files alone.

At lunch that day John sits with Rodney, two tables away from Kearney and Evan, listening to them chattering more than he listens to Rodney complain about his incompetent scientists. Kearney and Evan are laughing and teasing each other like old friends do, and John is slightly less annoyed when he sees Evan smile. But then Kearney asks Evan if he's still molesting his pillow in his sleep and John sees red. He gets up abruptly and his chair screeches so loudly that the entire mess hall falls silent.

Evan isn't that far behind him, but when he enters their office he is far more amused than John think he's aught to be so John glares at him, fuming. Evan actually has the audacity to smile when he asks if John is jealous, which John promptly denies. Nevertheless, he is relieved beyond words when Evan assures him that there was never anything between Kearney and him.

The kiss that Evan gives him then, still smiling, is enough to make John rethink about admitting his jealousy, and the blowjob Evan goes on to give him is so good he forgets that damn blonde's name for the rest of the week.



8. To never forget to say hello.

After John returns from the future, everything is a mess. They need to find Teyla before she has her baby and they need to prevent Michael from taking over the galaxy. Some things are easier than others, but with all the activity John doesn't have enough time to even change his sand-laden clothes.

Evan is there, of course. It's not only his guilt over allowing Teyla to get caught that makes Evan push himself so hard. As a member of the senior staff Evan is present when John tells them about what happened to him for the past twelve days, and he's there when John's strike team is heading into Michael's safe house.

John gets the OK from Sam, teases Rodney about his hair and completely misses the starved look Evan sends after him, or the way the spark of hope and relief in his eyes slowly dies and is replaced by a stony mask.

After that the building collapses, John nearly dies and is too light-headed from the loss of blood to really notice anything. In his hallucinations he sees Teyla and Ford one after the other and the connection his feverish brain has made is unsettling. When Dr. Keller informs him, he's glad that Rodney is alive, because they're going to need Rodney's expertise, and is only dimly aware that Evan has made it out as well.

Once they are back in Atlantis John is finally rushed into surgery, and can only be happy that they got Teyla out in time and surprised that someone would want to name a baby after him.

When John finally remembers about Evan it's only because he has had numerous visitors, but none of them was John's lover. When he asks, Teyla is angry and tells him that Evan drags himself out of bed every night to sit with John while John is asleep until Marie kicks him back to his room. John feels like a complete ass.

It's dark in Evan's room when John is finally released and is able to go and see him. On the bed Evan is tossing and turning and whimpering pathetically, his foot in the cast strangely unmoving even though the rest of him is. As John watches, Evan sits up and whispers John's name brokenly, and John's heart is torn into a million pieces.

He surprises the shaking Evan by stepping out of the shadows and holding him, shaking as well with emotions and pain. Evan thinking that John had had enough of their relationship is so wrong. So wrong, that John needs to reassure Evan about their relationship just as much as he needs to reassure himself. No, he is never letting Evan go. He simply forgot to say hello.



9. To give and receive comfort.

After what happened with the AI of the carrier of the Sakari people, John is frightened. He manages to hold it together until he reaches Evan's door, where Evan has asked to meet with him.

Evan is confused when he sees John at his doorway, especially since he was just recalled from his mission with no explanation. Seeing the confusion on Evan's face John panics, realizing this must have been arranged by the AI. John turns to flee but Evan is quicker. He smashes John into him in a forceful hug, causing them both to fall into the room and onto the floor, and John is amazed to learn that he's shaking in Evan's arms.

Evan keeps murmuring nonsense into his ear but John isn't listening. He's too busy inhaling Evan's scent – like allspice – and trying to calm himself down. That's why he's even more surprised when words start spilling from his mouth, about Kolya, about his self-inflicted torture and about the constant feeling of disappointing his friends.

Evan is not surprised. He merely helps John get up and strips him down, because John is shaking so badly he can't even get a button out of its hole properly. Under the spray of Evan's steaming shower, held securely in Evan's arms, John allows himself to shed silent tears. The water from the shower was supposed to hide them, but Evan still tightens his hold.

Later, Evan shows him all the mission reports he was secretly collecting, each of a different occasion Atlantis was under threat of death and destruction. All of them tell how it was John's actions that saved the city. Evan pulls John to sit in his lap, wraps himself comfortingly around John and forces him to go through each and every one out loud.

When Williams is chewed to death on Todd's infected ship a few weeks later and Evan steps into John's arms, sobbing like he would never do in front of his team, John wishes he had a similar secret collection to comfort his lover. He settles on speaking nonsense in Evan's ear and embracing him with uncharacteristically sure hands.



10. To never say goodbye.

Before leaving for Earth through the Stargate, John goes to meet Evan. Evan's team just returned from retrieving Todd's ZPMs and they are all in the armory taking off their equipment. John uses his authority to order them all out and holds Evan close. He tells Evan that he loves him, something he still doesn't do much, kisses him deeply and tells him goodbye, all in twenty seconds flat and without allowing Evan time to react.

Right before he steps through the event horizon to Earth he can hear Evan's footsteps chasing after him in vain.

After everything is over, Atlantis is safely floating in the San Francisco bay, John is surprisingly still alive and all the congratulations are said, John finally returns to see Evan. When they meet, it's Evan's fist that meets John's jaw in the officers' gym, and John has to warn Teyla off from incapacitating Evan because he knows he deserves it.

Once Evan forgives him, he shows John his parents' house from the control tower's observation balcony. Evan grew up in a house just next to the bay and John asks to see it and meet his parents, so they beg Woolsey for permission and slip off the base without anyone else knowing.

Evan's parents are nice, and welcome John with a warm hug. They bring out tea and a piece of some amazing cake, and Evan's mother shows John her paintings while Evan's father sneaks some brandy into his tea cup with a conspiratory wink. They ask all the right questions, fret in just the right amount, and John suddenly understands where Evan got his people skills from. He is grateful to them, and appreciates them even more when they announce with a casual air that even though their son has just returned after a year's absence, they have tickets to a musical so Evan and John will have to entertain themselves in the empty house.

Evan shows John his room, which is typical for any American boy. Plane models, books, a few football posters, a few cups and medals he had won in the past, some old paintings and a narrow bed.

The sex on that narrow bed feels like wedding night sex: exhausted, sloppy, emotional and euphoric, the kind that happens after you realize that you've just been through something profound. When John reveals this to the sweating and heaving Evan, Evan kisses him and simply says, "I do."