Title: Snape's Revenge

Rating: K

Summary: Voldemort makes Snape Headmaster but when Voldemort tells him who will be Muggle Studies Professor and Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor Snape has his own ideas on who would be perfect for the positions. Guess who comes to Hogwarts?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, they all belong to J.K Rowling, but I do like to play with them.

Chapter 1: Headmaster Snape

Severus Snape, the former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Head of Slytherin House, was now Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He knew that returning to Hogwarts, the place that he was forced to kill Dumbledore, wasn't going to go over well with people that he had considered friends but Snape was willing to give the position a go. The first thing that he did was owl a friend of his, the only one that believed in what he had done, to tackle the situation of the Muggleborn students.

Voldemort had made it very clear that Muggleborn students were heading to Azkaban for 'stealing magic,' away from Pureblood witches and wizards. Everyone knew that was a load of horse manure as there had been Muggleborns for years, nearly a century, and that stealing magic at birth was impossible. He told his friend in the letter that they had three weeks before term started to gather all the Muggleborn students as well as adults and have them all massively flooed to America. The Salem school had agreed to watch over them until the war was over.

Another problem that he had was with the Carrows. Voldemort had made them the Defense Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies Professors. Severus already knew who would make good Professors and it might bring him as well as his wife back in their good graces if he gave them jobs. He didn't see Tonks having much of a carrier as an Auror with Voldemort as the Minister of Magic. The owl flew off and Severus started his plan to poison the Carrows and get the Lupin's in their position.

The poison would take a week to take hold and while that happened he would be sending a letter to Remus and his wife, asking for them to take the posts of Defense Against the Dark Arts (Remus) and Muggle Studies Professor (Tonks). He made sure that his supplies were stocked with the ingredients for the Wolfbane Potion, an order to Madam Pomfrey to make sure that Tonks got good care, and getting his stuff packed for the journey back to Hogwarts. He also wanted the entire Order to be guarding the castle so that no Death Eaters could pass.

The Carrows arrived a week before term was to start, the day after Snape had gotten the letter from his friend telling him that he was starting on the plan, and he gave them both goblets of wine.

"To the destruction of Hogwarts," Snape told them and he watched the Carrows drink.

They then talked about what they would be teaching the students and Snape told them that he would stay out of their way while they did it. When they left Snape grinned. The plan had worked perfectly. On September 1st Snape packed everything that he needed. His typewriter, since he was doing a book on Potions, plenty of ink, quill, and parchment, a large sack, a large tub, a cushion for his new residence that would be taking over where Fawks use to be, several boxes of food, a tape player that he had enchanted to work at Hogwarts, several used books, and tape to go into the player.

He packed these all up in the only thing that he could use for such a long trip, a car that Mr. Weasley had enchanted to work. Once packed and ready to go he looked for his two new residences that would make noise, scream at the top of their lungs, and make the Headmaster's office look divine. The residences were two very sleek and very nosy Siamese cats, Koko and Yum Yum. He had gotten the idea for their names from his favorite series of mysteries, the Cat Who, and he had to admit that they fitted them perfectly, and the idea to buy the cats from a Muggleborn Wizard that had connected him with his mother, a charming woman who bred the cats herself.

He had bought them two years ago, as kittens, and loved them to pieces. If anyone harmed them he would really murder them. Like their namesake they didn't believe in eating anything that was labeled 'cat food,' nor did they like kitty treats that cost less then two dollars a piece. However his now new position as Headmaster would enable him to insure that they had all the fancy things in life. He went looking for them and found them under his bed. He drew them out, placed them in a very airy cage, and placed them in the backseat.

"All aboard for your new home," Snape told his cats and they set off.

The journey from Spinner End to Hogwarts was what you wouldn't call uneventful. The cats complained about any speed exceeding fifty-five and Snape talked about the cows, the farms, and anything else that he thought they wanted to hear. Soon, every soon, the muggle world disappeared and they entered the village of Hogsmead.

"That's the Three Broomsticks," Snape told the cats. "If your good cats I'll have Madam Rosmerta make you a treat."

"YOW!" came response from the back and Snape knew that Koko agreed.

He pulled up to the side of the castle and got out. He tapped his wand twice and the back opened. He took everything out and noticed at once that no one was around. He knew they were all probably hiding from him. Signing he took the cats out and placed them on the ground. He then closed the door and picked them up.

"Well it looks like the staff is hiding," he told Koko and Yum Yum. "But I know the way."

He then locked the car up with a wave of his wand and man and cats headed inside.

When they stepped inside Snape poked his head into the Great Hall. He was doing this for the cats benefit.

"This it the Great Hall," Snape said. "This is where children come and eat as well as watching the other students get sorted. You're not coming down here because you'll make a comment and get Filch very angry with you."

Koko gave Snape a look that told him that he understood everything that he was saying, which Snape had a feeling he could.

"Now lets find the staff and I'll introduce you both to them," Snape said.

He went down to Slughorn's office, mostly to tell him that Lupin might be coming as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and that Snape, himself, would be brewing the Wolfbane Potion. However when he opened Slughorn's office he wasn't there. So Snape made it a learning experience for the cats.

'This is Professor Slughorns office, no cats allowed," Snape told him. "Your hair will turn green and then pink. And I'm not having you start looking like Remus's wife though she's a good woman."

He then closed the door and headed upstairs.

He went looking for Professor McGonagall, his Deputy Headmistress, but she wasn't in her office. Once again a warning to the cats to not go in, though he added, "She'll like you, though she doesn't like me."

"YOW!" Koko replied, as saying "Who wouldn't like you?"

He went to Professor Flitwick's office and he found no Flitwick and of course he was sure that there was no Sprout. Snape was now starting to get worried. Did everyone decide not to return to Hogwarts? Sighing he decided to try one last spot, the staff room. He walked down the hall, the cat's eager to get out, and pressed his ear to the door. There were voices and Snape breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now you behave," Snape told them. "Don't act like normal cats, act like regal royalty and they'll love you both."

He then a deep breath and opened the door.

Inside was the entire Order of the Phoenix as well as the remaining staff. They were all glaring at him and he saw McGonagall itching for her wand. Snape closed the door and at once deposited the cat's cage on the floor.

"Mr. Filch I want you to take my darlings up to the Headmaster's office," Snape told Filch. "And don't you dare let them out or I'll get Fang on Mrs. Norris."

"Fine," Filch muttered and grabbed the cage, jerking it.

Koko didn't like this and Yum Yum scratched him. He cursed and Snape crossed his arms.

"Don't you know how to handle a cat cage?" he asked, "Their gentle creatures that deserve respect. You don't just yank that cage holding Siamese cats. That's showing absolute disrespect."

Filch muttered something again but gently led the cats out.

"Good," Snape said and then left. "Where are my Defense Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies Professors?"

"Dead," McGonagall snapped.

"Oh that means that I don't have two Professors, how really sad," Snape said, not sounding sad at all. "Okay, Remus you're the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Tonks your Muggle Studies."

"What!" Tonks snapped.

"Don't you want to be Muggle Studies Professor?" Snape asked. "Your father is Muggleborn and you've grown up around Muggles? So how is he now?"

"Gone, away from you and Voldemort," Tonks snapped.

"Are all the Muggleborns gone?" Snape asked her.

"And why should you care?" Tonks asked. "I bet your all-.'

"Then Peter got them to safety, good," Snape said, cutting Tonks off.

"Wait a minute; did you get them all to safety?" Remus asked.

"Yes, I had Peter round them up and massively take them to America," Snape told him. "Now I believe that you were very popular with the students. I'm making you the Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers because you know your remedies."

"Um, thanks," Remus said.

"Now, about my office," Snape said. "Dumbledore's things are breakable around a cat. So I'm thinking of putting Dumbledore's things in storage until all of this is said and done. You, Minerva, will continue as Deputy Headmistress. Now is there any orders that are coming in?"

"Just some Unicorn Blood that Slughorn's wants to try out?" McGonagall said.

"And forty strange creatures for the Dark Arts class," Tonks muttered.

"Remus, make sure that the students learn the spell to get rid of them," Snape told him. "I'm not having forty strange creatures running around and scaring the cats. And this is Defense Against the Dark Arts not Dark Arts. I won't have the blasted stuff taught here."

"Of course," Remus said.

"Tonks, I've had Madam Pomfrey informed of your 'condition,' and she'll have everything ready for whatever happens. At least that's what I'm hoping for."

"Thanks," Tonks said.

"Minerva, make sure that fake ear is sent to Fred with a note saying that I'm sorry for cutting it off," Snape told her. "I wouldn't do that to my own cats and I most certainly didn't intend to do that to a human being. Also Tonks, I have my car outside. You can use that for the third years that are going to cover cars in their first lesson. Now I want the wards to be strengthened and that blasted vanishing cabinet removed. I'm not having another link to the outside world connected here."

"We'll have Filch removed it at once," McGonagall said.

"Good now I need to get my things in," Snape told them. "I hope Filch hasn't let the cats out."