A Small Mistake is All That is Needed
Summary: Ban made a mistake, and now thinks death is better then this thick silence. YAOI.
Pairing/s: GinjiBan, established relationship
Warnings: YAOI, M-rated. Spoilers up to what is it, volume 18? Divine Design-arc anyway. Also, a kinda different relationship between Maria, Paul and Ban.
And yes, I'm mean to Ginji's friends. They had to be really mean here, so don't be upset over that.
Disclaimers: I don't own Getbackers.
Ban looked at the cup of coffee but did not touch it. He thought of a cigarette but changed his mind. He took in the sound of the shower running and his heart sank more for each beat it took. He closed his eyes and clasped his hands in his lap, tightly. How long can he stand the silence? How long before Ginji would forgive him? He had not talked for four days. Ban was never really talkative but he had never been completely silent for four whole days. If you did not count sobbing in the bathroom at night of course. Then he had spoken a lot.
His throat constricted and he drew a deep breath to keep himself calm. Keep the tears inside. It was hard but he managed. Ginji came out from the bathroom and walked to the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Ban flinched. He bent his head down and bit his lip. He had not smoked in four days either. He was not sure he ever wanted to do it again.
He sniffed and the door opened. Ginji walked past his small form on the chair and Ban heard him ruffle around the fridge. He did not get hungry at the sound. The brunette dared to look up. His Ginji, his sweet Ginji, he was dressed for… going out. Somewhere else. Somewhere Ban was not. Hot tears welled up in the brunette's eyes but he refused to let them fall.
"I'm going to Shido later, for dinner," Ginji said, shortly. Not in a Ginji-tone. Ban had missed Ginji-tone for a week. He wondered if he could take it another five more minutes. "I'll sleep over there, maybe, so don't wait up for me."
"Okay," the Jagan-user managed. His voice was raspy, his throat raw and he wondered if Ginji noticed that. As Ginji did not look at him, he figured the blonde did not.
Ginji took out a gift he had prepared to Madoka. Ban would now gladly rip out his own eyes, his precious eyes, if that meant he would not cry anymore. Presents, Ginji were careful with those, but since last week… how long before Ban broke down? If this was Ginji's punishment, Ban rather took his own life.
Ban's hand twitched, he had to clamp down on it with the other hand; otherwise he was going to rip out his eyes while Ginji was still here. A tear slipped down his cheek and he bent his head again.
"I'll go over to Kazuki now," the blonde said.
Ban's heart took a final beat before shattering into a thousand pieces. It hurt to breathe. The tear fell from his face, down to his hand, spreading a chill unlike all other into the very bones in his body.
"Okay," he said quietly. "Have fun." 'Since you no longer can have it with me,' he silently added, and felt his breath hitch. Ginji did not notice, he walked to the hall, on with the shoes, through the door; it closed with a click. Ban managed to hold it for five more seconds. He covered his face with his hands and cried out.
Ban laid in bed later, eyes open, staring unseeingly into the wall, trying to recall Ginji before a week ago. All he could get up was that stupid day. They had had an argument and they were so close to make up with Ginji's friends came. Shido had started some shit, making Ban's witch-blood boil. He had hit Ginji hard enough to give the blonde a small concussion.
Shido and Kazuki had been alone with the blonde in the hospital, had used their time to finally do what they wanted; get away their former emperor from Ban. And Ban had not realized it until he had wasted three days on apologies. He might as well have spoken to a wall. And when he stopped, Ginji never noticed that.
Ginji did not notice there was no more cigarette smoke, no food was eaten, Ban was not speaking… he just continued like nothing was wrong. Ban did not know if his lover was angry. He got up, his weary body protesting. Enough is enough. He had to end it.
Maria was rather irritated when she opened the door; it was in the middle of the night and she had been sleeping. However, at the sight all but her mother-instincts vanished.
Ban was drenched in the rain, his normally vibrant blue eyes now dull and he was only dressed in a pair of jeans and his four-tailed shirt. He did not even wear shoes. She pulled him in, grew distressed when he made no protest, no sound, just followed her willingly.
"Oh sweet Ban," she whispered. "Oh my sweet, what happened?"
Ban would normally snap at her. Glare at her. Accept her help with reluctance, pretending to not enjoy her hugs. Now he lowered his head onto her shoulder and she felt hot tears on her bare skin. Her eyes closed in anger and pain.
"Come, Ban," the witch urged. "Let's get you warm, and I'll call Paul."
Ban did not protest as she pushed him into the bathroom, soaked him in hot water and dressed him in dry clothes. He was put down on the bed, and Maria felt his magic become weaker. She swore under her breath and embraced him harshly. When he made no move to get away she knew it was serious. She reached for the phone, Ban's head pressed into her shoulder.
"Paul," she said as soon the man answered. He did not seem particularly sleepily even though it was in the middle of the night. "Get Gin-chan here, Ban's fading."
Paul was let in by Shido who had to rub his eyes before he could glare at the man. Paul did not look at him but waited for Ginji to arrive.
"He wants nothing to do with that snake bastard," Shido growled.
"Is that what he says, or what you say?" Paul asked, and Shido got quiet. Ginji came down the stairs and said:
"What is it?"
"Do you love him?" Paul said back. Ginji blinked, and then understood.
"Why do you ask?" he replied.
"Yes or no, and be fucking honest with me here," Paul snapped.
"He doesn't," Shido snapped back, "okay? So you can go back to the little snake and tell him that!"
"No," Ginji said and Paul turned his head to the blonde. "I… I do love him."
"Then why do you hurt him?"
"Because the bastard hurt Ginji first, so leave!" Shido shouted.
"I didn't know you were the one who decided what Ginji felt and did not feel!" Paul shouted right back.
"Shido-san? Paul-san?" Madoka's quiet voice reached them all, and she felt her way down the stairs. Mozart was with her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, he was just leaving," Shido replied. "Go back to bed, Madoka."
"I'm not leaving just yet," the shop-owner said, earning a nasty glare from Shido. "I need a straight answer from you, Ginji, for Ban's sake."
"What do you mean?" Ginji asked, worry etching into his voice. The anger Shido and Kazuki and his other friends had made him feel began to edge away, giving way for the love he felt for the Jagan-user.
"Your friends," at this Paul glared at Shido, "wanted you away from him. Thanks to that, Ban's not doing too well."
"What's wrong with him?" Ginji asked, undone and free from the webs of all anger. Shido felt all work they had put in to keep Ginji from the monster vanish and his anger grew.
"Ginji… you don't know?" Paul asked slowly.
"Ban has witch-blood in his veins."
"Yeah, I know that," Ginji said as he walked down the rest of the stairs.
"A person with witch-blood, if allowed to think her or his life means nothing, this person will fade away."
"Fade away?" Ginji echoed.
"Yes," the man said. "Or as we humans say it… they will die."
Maria looked up as the door banged open to the bedroom. Ginji's pale face, the dripping-wet blonde spikes, his heaving chest and clinging to the door frame met her eyes. Her anger directed to him vanished when she read the panic and fear radiate from him. She rose up, looked at him and said:
"Help him… Ginji."
Ban was asleep. Or perhaps unconscious. Ginji took Maria's place, shrugged off his wet vest and took his lover's face in his hands. Even though Ginji was cold, he could feel Ban was colder. His lips were slightly blue. Ginji dragged the brunette's body closer, into his lap and felt the cold body. It should be sleepily warm, blue eyes looking into his and an unusually silly sleepy grin on the Jagan-user's face. Ban did not react this time. His head fell back, eyes closed and dark rings underneath them, and Ginji felt shame and a heart-wrenching sadness invade him.
"Ban-chan," he whispered. "Please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please, Ban-chan… Ban-chan, wake up."
The brunette groaned weakly. Ginji felt surprise when a towel began to rub his wet hair and hands tugged at his wet T-shirt.
"I'm not going to let you make him colder," Maria said sternly. "Paul, get a change of clothes."
Paul left the towel on Ginji's head and vanished into the corridor hurriedly. Within minutes, Ginji wore a pair of sleeping-pants and a shit, hugging Ban to himself. The brunette was moving slowly, sleepy moves that made Ginji whimper. A week since he had held Ban like this. One week. Never again. He held Ban tighter, sobbing just like the brunette had did but Ban had done it alone.
When Ginji woke up again, tear tracks on his face, Ban's eyes watched him. The blonde was wide-awake within a moment.
"Ban-chan," he whispered.
The blue eyes widened.
"First time in a week," the brunette whispered back. "The first time in a week that you called my name."
"I'm so sorry," Ginji said, voice cracking. "Ban-chan."
"Say it again, more, say my name."
"Ban-chan." A kiss on the cheek, soft and gentle. "Sweet Ban-chan." The other cheek. "My Ban-chan." The lips, now warm and slightly pink, and very eager to welcome Ginji back.
Hands under Ban's shirt, roaming, exploring, rediscovering the body Ginji loved so much. Ban sighed contently, arched under Ginji's touches, muscles flexing under the skin. Now moving, Ginji rolled over so he was above Ban, cradling his lean body in the bed, protecting him from the rest of the world.
"I was so stupid," Ginji whispered between each kiss. "So stupid. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was stupid, Ban-chan."
"Stop," Ban said, voice filled with unshed tears. "Don't say you're sorry, show me that you are, please, show me…"
And Ginji did.
The fabric easily slipped away from Ban's body, leaving his torso naked for Ginji's eyes to take in. The blonde made sure to give each inch of uncovered skin its righteous attention, Ban moaning underneath him. The brunette was not late to follow, tearing apart the shirt Ginji was wearing with ease, rolling over so he was sitting on the blonde's hips. Ginji had not realized how much he had missed the weight on his body, now all he wanted was more, and have it forever. He got up on his elbows and gently kissed Ban's stomach. Thin but strong arms wrapped around his head, pulling him up to a sitting position, Ban slipping down to rest in his lap and kissing the blonde deeply. Ginji grabbed Ban's hips, grinding up and the brunette groaned into his lover's mouth.
Within moments they were both stripped down to the underwear and Ginji made a promise to himself, to never again let Ban be hurt like that. Ban was strong, but being ignored by the one he loved more than life itself was hard, even more so when he carried around a guilt to have hurt that same person. Ginji had been stupid and listened to Shido and Kazuki, and thanks to that his lover, his other half had nearly died and left him alone. He would have followed in death, he knew that.
Moving now, underwear gone and preparations done, Ginji fell into a familiar rhythm, Ban's legs around his waist and the brunette moaning for each deep thrust made into him. They were impatient so it did not take long for them to cry out and get the release they both had wanted.
Ginji moved Ban to his side, carefully, tucking him in and the blue eyes, now full of warmth, gazed at him.
"I'm sorry for hitting you," he whispered.
"And I'm sorry for ignoring you," Ginji whispered back, pulling the brunette tight to him.
"It's behind us now?"
"Yeah, Ban-chan," Ginji said and kissed the Jagan-user on the forehead. "It is."
"What about your friends?"
"I'll let them know exactly what I feel, and if they don't accept it… well, then they don't."
"We'll loose connections. They have good information."
"Good information or not, I'll trade it any second if that meant I would have you."
Ban inhaled Ginji, deeply before working up courage to say:
"We could always…"
"Could always what?"
"Go… away for a bit. You know… kinda vacation."
"We don't have that kind of money," Ginji said even though that was what he wanted the most.
"I have," Ban said. "Or I should have. I have to talk with… my grandmother first."
"You said you didn't like her."
"I don't. Or, at least, mostly I don't. She can have her good moments as well. Do you want to go, if we can?"
"I don't care if we just went for a car ride," Ginji said with a grin. "It's you who is the best thing in my world."
Ban blushed heavily and Ginji felt everything settle down in him. They were okay now.
So, I made it up today! How do you like it? I happen to love Ban-angst (with a happy ending of course) and GinjiBan pairing. So I combined them!
Until another time,