~Abandon~
ThatPanicGirlE

A/N: I am auctioning off an outtake from "Abandon" for Fandom Gives Back. Check out my auction at www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)?id=298&mode=1 (Replace the dot with a .).


Bella

"Get back in this house young lady," Billy shouted as I ran out the door.

"Shut the hell up and leave me alone, old man!" I yelled back as I walked as fast as I could down to the beach.

It has been three months since my Dad died and it seemed like things were never going to get better. My career driven father decided to play the hero and ended up getting shot by some punk ass kid robbing the Newton's Outfitter shop. The kid was probably going to use the money for booze.

Tears streamed down my face as I worked my way down the hill to the beach. Who the hell does he think he is? I said to myself. He's not my dad… even my dad wouldn't have acted like this with me.

My mother, Renee died when I was five years old and I'd never even met my father until that fateful day when social services drove me to his house from the airport. My grandmother refused to take me in and Charlie was the only other relative I had left in this world. A year after I moved in with Charlie, my grandmother died.

Things were going ok in my life. I adjusted to Charlie and school became my outlet for fun. I made great friends, one of them being Angela Webber. She was totally naïve when it came to everything around her, but she was a sweet girl. I still have no idea what on earth she ever saw in me. I cause more trouble than good, but she's stuck by me nonetheless.

When Charlie died, my world turned upside down. I was going to be placed into a foster home until Billy Black, my dad's long time friend and fishing buddy offered to take me in. The court almost dismissed the idea due to Billy's health – being in a wheelchair and all. However when the courts realized that it was in my best interest to be around people that I knew, it made perfect sense that I did go there.

My biggest issue with moving there was not Billy, but his son, Jacob Black.

Jacob was younger than me, and also very annoying. His friends were even worse than he was. Their great idea of an afternoon of fun was to spend time jumping off cliffs and proving to each other who had the bigger muscles. It made me nauseas to think of him shirtless. I almost puked in my mouth a little bit at the thought of it.

The trail led down to LaPush Beach. Tons of driftwood sat all over the beach and my favorite piece was right at the end of the trail. I found during the past month that it actually made me feel better to sit at the beach. I reflected on the argument I'd just had with Billy. He got angry with me because I said that Jacob was a dick. Well I meant it. He was. I've spent a month there and already Jacob treats me like he's better at me in everything. I'd finally had enough of his mouth and chewed him a new one. I told him that if he didn't fuck off, I'd show him what kind of muscles I was made of.

Billy obviously hated the language I used in his house and told me that he was doing a favor by keeping me there and I should respect him – and his dickwad son.

I picked up a rock I saw at my toe and threw it across the water. Many more followed and soon I found myself picking up more shells and rocks and pitching them across the water. From behind me I heard, "You should have been a boy with an arm like that."

I almost threw a rock at his head. Jacob was standing right behind me and he scared the shit out of me.

"You should have been a girl with that bitchy attitude of yours," I quickly added.

Jacob threw his head back and let out a huge laugh. "No wonder the state had any problems letting you stay with us. They probably didn't want to put up with your bullshit."

That was all he had to say. I picked up a rock the size of my fist and lunged it straight at his head. It missed him by centimeters but I think it got the point across.

"Fuck you Bella Swan," Jacob said as he walked away.

Yeah, fuck me and my life I said to myself.

Jacob

I still have no idea what on earth my dad was thinking when he decided it was ok for Bella to stay with us. I know he felt like he owed it to Chief Swan for all the years of friendship, but this was fucking both of our lives up. She was a no good, flat out bitch of a human being that made it difficult to be around. Even when Charlie was alive, my dad and he did the best they could to make me and Bella get along, and we could never do it.

This morning I got the last bowl of shredded wheat out of the box. Only ten minutes later did Bella come in to make her bowl when she got all kinds of pissed off when she realized it was gone.

"What the hell?" Bella asked. "I just fucking bought this cereal yesterday and now it's gone."

I laughed as milk dribbled down my chin.

"Jacob, you need to go on a fucking diet. Look at your stomach. Your six pack is turning into a keg."

I thought that was a little funny, but insulting at the same time.

"Well at least I don't look like a twig with mosquito bites for tits."

"Shut the fuck up, Jacob Black, before I show you what kind of muscles I'm made of!"

She threw the box at me and milk from my bowl went everywhere in the kitchen. I was about to go completely ape shit on her when my dad entered the room.

"Bella, I saw you throw that box at Jacob. You really need to control your temper."

"But Jacob started it first." But Jacob started it first She sounded like a five year old.

"Whoever started it, it doesn't matter, we don't throw things in this house."

I guess that was the final straw of tension she could stand and she snapped.

"Your son is a degrading, jack ass of a human being. He just said that my tits looked like mosquito bites. You should tell your son to quit being such a dick to me."

"Bella, you WILL NOT use that language in my house, do you understand me!" my dad yelled at her.

Her bottom lip quivered with sadness and she was out the door.

"Get back in this house young lady," my dad yelled to her as the screen door slammed.

Dad looked at me as though I just committed some sort of emotional murder and said, "Son, you need to go apologize to her."

"Apologize, she's the one throwing things at me," I said.

"Regardless, get your butt out there and make her feel better."

"FINE!" I said.

I left the house and down the trail to beach I went. When I found her she was throwing shells and rocks into the water. She had an excellent arm on her and as she moved, you could see how great of shape she was in. Her hair blew in the breeze and she looked so cute the way she'd grunt when she threw…

Wake the fuck up Jacob Black. You can't stand this girl. She's the reason you don't have a bedroom anymore. I quickly composed myself and finished my trot to the beach.

"You should have been a boy with an arm like that," I said.

I must have scared her half to death and she turned to me.

She had a rock in her hand – a very big rock to be honest.

"You should have been a girl with that bitchy attitude of yours," she spat at me.

Nice come back. She really did have a bitchy attitude herself. "No wonder the state had any problems letting you stay with us. They probably didn't want to put up with your bullshit."

She threw the rock at me missing me by a mile and I had enough of trying to apologize to her.

"Fuck you Bella Swan," I said as I walked back up the trail. Damn that girl was going to be the death of me.

BPOV

I really tried my best to get along with Jacob in all honesty. We've known each other for so long that you think we'd be the best of friends. I do wish it was the case sometimes.

I sat on that piece of driftwood for an hour before I figured it was safe to go back to the house. Sure enough, as soon as I walked in the door, Billy got a hold of me.

"Bella, we need to talk." Well, shit, just what I was hoping wouldn't happen.

"Ok Billy, but first can I say in my defense, your son was being obnoxious."

Billy laughed. He knew it was true. I wasn't the only one that saw it. I think Jacob must be going through puberty or something because his mood swings were driving me insane.

I sat on the couch and Billy started in. "Bella, I know this is hard for you. Hell, it's been hard on all of us. Your father was my best friend and I know you are going through some tough times, but Jacob and I both really care about you. I really do wish you'd ease up a bit on him. For goodness sakes girl, he gave up his room for you."

He did have a point. Their house was only a two bedroom place and Jacob agreed to sleep on the couch so I would have my own room. They sold off my dad's house and I got to keep the money in a special account to only use when I go off to college. Everyone (well Billy) thought it would be the best idea to insure I'd be taken care of… then there was dad's pension plan.

"Ok, Billy, I'll try to start getting along with Jacob. But, I'm warning you, if he gets in my face again, I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from strangling him."

Billy smiled, "That's all I can ask for."

Jacob was nowhere in sight and I relaxed for a bit watching TV with Billy. When it was just Billy and I, we got along ok. He's like the cool uncle I never had, even though he tries to damn hard to be my dad. Billy made dinner later on that afternoon, but I wasn't in any mood to eat after our explosion this morning.

It was getting late and we had school the next day. It was nice of the Forks High School to allow me to stay in my classes there. I couldn't even imagine having to start school with Jacob. He was already enough to handle at home, let alone trying to get along with him on a daily basis.

Jacob ran off with Sam Uley and Quil Ateara, two locals from the res, for their male bonding time. The mere thought of those three all sweaty and bumping against each other again made me gag. However, I will have to admit, and only to me, that Jacob was beginning to fill out a bit. His boyish body was fading into a really handsome, really buff guy.

Just stop it before you do make yourself puke. I shuddered off that thought and went back to studying English.

At about ten that night, Jacob dragged his ass back into the house. He was making a ton of noise in the kitchen and I decided that in all fairness of the situation, I'd at least go in to apologize to him – for throwing the cereal box and the rock.

He was going through the cabinets, I assume to look for food. He was always eating. I know a growing boy needs food, but if he kept it up, he was going to get fat. And if sweaty, buff, Jacob wasn't enough to make me feel sick, fat slob Jacob did me in.

"What the hell are you looking for," I asked.

He turned to me, smiled, and turned back to his search. "I'm looking for a box of cereal. I thought we had one more lying around… I'm hungry."

"Tell me something new. Remember, you ate the last drop of cereal in the house this morning."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Damnit… I'm hungry. Wanna go for a late dinner or something."

I stood in the doorway of the kitchen looking like a dumbass trying to decipher the fact that he just asked me to dinner.

"Um, sure, I could eat."

I think this was his attempt at an apology for eating the last bowl of cereal.

"I'll pay," I said.

He smiled. That was my way of apologizing to him too.

Jacob grabbed his coat of the chair, told his dad we'd be back in a bit, and we drove into town in his beat up Chevy Truck. The thing was ancient, but still ran like the day it was made, thanks to Jacob and his ever greased up hands.

The drive back into Forks from LaPush seemed to take forever in his truck. You couldn't get it over sixty and it was really loud as it roared down the winding roads. We barely spoke a word between us and I liked it that way. We seemed to get along better when there was no talking involved.

We eventually got to the diner and it wasn't packed at all. In fact I feared we'd be too late and then I'd have to hear Jacob bitch for the next two hours how hungry he was. Luckily for us they didn't close until one in the morning. I didn't want to stay long though. I wanted to eat and go back home.

Jacob seemed to order every fucking thing on the menu. I said I'd pay, not buy you a damn restaurant I said to myself. I only ordered a BLT and a glass of milk.

Jacob played with his straw in his soda for a bit then drummed on the table. I watched in amazement at his ADD mentality. He couldn't sit still for shit. He kept fucking with the salt and pepper shakers.

He picked up his butter knife and sat it in front of me. Then he put the salt shaker on the top of it and says, "Hey Bella… what's this?"

I said "Let me see, a salt shaker and a fucking butter knife… what the hell else does it look like?"

He looked hurt when I said that and I said, "I'm sorry Jake; I really didn't mean to snap."

I only called him Jake when we were on great terms. It was my little term of endearment for him.

"So what is it, Jake?"

He smiled and said, "A salt with a deadly weapon." He busted out laughing.

I had to admit it was really funny. I caught myself dying laughing with him and our food finally showed up. He could be amusing and cute when he wanted to be. The rest of the time, I wanted to throw him off a fucking cliff.

JPOV

I really wish she'd learn to control her temper. I invited her to dinner with me as a way to let her know I wasn't mad at her. I knew we didn't have shit to eat in the house. I was hoping all the noise in the kitchen would coax her out, and sure enough my plan worked great. She came out of her room with her nosey self to figure out what I was doing.

I know she's still hurting – it's very evident and clear. I just want her to start treating my dad and me with a little more respect. I don't think she realizes what it's like for me to sleep on that couch. At best, the couch is a little over five feet long. I'm almost six feet tall by now. You do the math. I'm hoping she'll calm down soon.

The worst part about it is, before her dad died, we were beginning to finally get along – well sort of. One evening, when Charlie brought Bella over, we spent the night playing silly board games and we got to talking. She finally opened up a tad to me. All her attitude stems from the mere fact that she feels abandoned. Not so much by her Mom, that's something no one could control. She felt abandoned by her grandmother for not wanting to take her in.

She told me that night that she was appreciative of Charlie taking her in, even though he never even knew he had a daughter. It was big news around the town for months after Bella's arrival. People whispered behind his back – as well as Bella's.

The night that Charlie died, I held Bella in my arms. She didn't leave for two nights straight. She'd cry, sleep, cry and then sleep some more. She was so distraught. My dad kept her in our house until the courts tried to remove her. Billy used a ton of money out of his own retirement fund to fight for her to stay in our house. Bella has no idea about this, nor will she ever. I've been sworn to secrecy. That's why it hurts so much when she goes ape shit crazy with me and Dad.

I watched her eat the last of her sandwich and I realized she took really small bites. I was already way done with my ton of food. There was no way I was going to let her pay for all this. The look on her face when I ordered all that food was enough to give me a small pleasure of revenge.

The waitress brought our ticket and I snatched it off the table and quickly gave it back to her with the money inside. Bella smiled. The funny thing about it, I actually kind of liked it when she smiled. She had a sincerity about her when she made an attempt.

We grabbed or coats and headed back to LaPush. We both needed sleep. It was going to be a rough day tomorrow at school with the little bit of sleep we'll get. I for one can't sleep on that couch, and Bella can't sleep because she misses her dad.

We got home right before midnight and turned in for the night. We had a routine already down. My clothes still lived in her room, so before she'd settle down at night, I would go into my old room, grab my clothes, and go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She would come back into the bedroom, dress there and wait for me to get out the bathroom. I took showers at night, she did in the morning. It was an unwritten, unchoreographed routine we worked out for ourselves.

I left the bathroom after a quick shower and went to the living room. I heard her go into the bathroom not too long after that. I could hear her brushing her teeth and fidgeting with things in the medicine cabinet. After Charlie died, the doctor put her on sleeping meds to keep her from staying awake often at night. She only took it on Sunday nights. I don't know if she knows I noticed, but I've always wondered why only on Sunday nights.

I heard her click the light off to the bathroom and the bedroom door shut. She had a ton of books that she brought with her. They all sit in crates throughout that tiny room. She told me once that she's read all of them at least twice. I could almost bet she was reading one right now as I drifted off to sleep.

BPOV

Morning comes so early on Mondays for me. I think it's from the sleeping pills. I only take them on Sunday nights. There are two reasons behind this. My first is because it's the night before a long week of school. The second, Charlie was killed on a Sunday night and I can't seem to make it through a single Sunday without wanting to run and scream with pain.

I got up, stretched and fumbled all the way to the bathroom. I could hear Jacob snoring his head off. It sounded louder that those damn loggers in this town. I turned the shower on and stood there for what seemed like an eternity. I hoped one day I could explain the gratitude I feel towards Billy for letting me stay here. I could be in some juvenile home right now sharing this shower with twenty other girls.

I dressed in the bathroom, and took the blow dryer to my hair. I'd never cut my hair. I loved it long and the curls that fell when I'd actually take care of my hair were my favorites. Monday also meant gym day. I packed my clean gym clothes and wore my sneakers that day instead of my normal hiking boots.

I finally finished getting dressed when Jacob finally woke up from his log sawing event. He stood up, stretched and I saw something that made me laugh so hard I almost blew milk through my nose. Poor Jake woke up with morning wood and it was so damn apparent in those PJ bottoms he wore.

I quickly averted my eyes from him and ran back to my bedroom. I threw a pillow to my face and laughed until I was out of breath. I was so embarrassed to come out of that bedroom. I had no idea if he knew that I knew but damn, that made me laugh so fucking hard, no pun intended.

Finally, after my good morning laugh, I left my bedroom to find Jacob putting his shoes on. He was fully dressed and ready to hit the road. It sucked only having the truck between us. I didn't drive due to the lack of transportation. I was going to have to talk to Billy about this dilemma. Jacob would take me in the morning to school and Angela would drive me home in the afternoons. Our scheduled worked out that way due to him having to be to school one hour after I did.

The drive to Forks was so embarrassing for me, and Jacob didn't seem to notice my red cheeks. I think he was too busy letting me know his plans for the next weekend. They were going camping and I was glad he was. I would have the house all to me since Billy was going to be gone all weekend fishing with Harry Clearwater, a friend on the reservation.

Jacob dropped me off in front of the school and I went to find Angela. I was sure I would see her with her boyfriend, Ben. Man was he a dork and a half, but Angela keeps telling me there is more to him than his brains. I have yet to see what that something else is.

Sure enough, the moment I went around the corner of the main building, there she was. She was with Ben, Mike Newton (his parents owned the shop where my dad was killed), Jessica Stanley and Tyler Crowley. Tyler had a huge crush on Jessica, even though she was dating Mike. It was a continuous soap opera with all my friends but hey kept me on my toes.

"Bella!" I heard Angela shout, "Come here… we have some juicy news for you."

She was all smiles as I sat on the picnic table with her.

"We have new students." Jessica said.

Angela shot her an "eat shit" look. She apparently wanted to share the news. Jessica took note of Angela's frustration and shut up for her to finish the story.

"Apparently there is a new doctor at the hospital where my mom works. She said the doc is very hot and that his kids are very good looking."

I felt actually happy about this news. There really hasn't been a new kid in school since me and this would take that new girl role off of me for the first time. We sat on the tables talking about the crappy carnival the school wanted to throw for the spring. I looked to the parking lot to see a shiny, silver Volvo pull into the parking lot.

Angela leaned over to me and said, "I think they are here."

Revised A/N: I felt the need to do an A/N after I got a couple of messages from people wanting to know if this was a Bella/Jacob story or not… it is and just because you see a shiny silver Volvo pull up doesn't mean too much… I felt like my readership suffered because of the introduction to the Cullens… don't worry though… this is a Bella/Jake story and it will continue to be. The Cullens will play a part in this story, but not enough to worry if Bella will end up with Jake… Thanks to all my readers so far and the subscribers… 700 hits and it hasn't even been a week .. Thanks so much!