This is a story I wrote and posted on Soapzone about a year ago and I've been craving some S&B lately so I thought others might be too.

The Letter


November 18th 2000

Sonny sat in the house he had finished building for Brenda after her death, their dream house, her castle in the sky. It was amazing, it was warm here even though it was November and there was no heat turned on, he knew it was her memory that kept him warm but the problem was it also left him frozen on the inside. It was only here that he could sit back on the couch he knew she would have wanted and just imagine. He could see her chasing after their mischievous son, catching him and turning around to smile at Sonny. He saw her and their daughter having a tea party and heard her laughter once again. Their children creating a happy havoc that made Brenda both frazzled and deliriously happy all at the same time. It was funny how much joy he could derive out of sitting here and letting his mind wander imagining how their life should have been. However it was also incredibly sad that he could never be as happy outside of this house with the real world as he was inside left with only a memory. He walked over to the boxes Jax had given to him just a few months ago right before he had married Chloe. Jax had given him Brenda's boxes attempting to exorcise her memory from his life. It had taken him some time to reopen the boxes after the incredibly vindictive Jax had given them to Sonny on the anniversary of the day he had first left town. When he first opened the box, Brenda's wedding dress was sitting on the top and it had nearly destroyed him. It had taken him over two intense months of therapy with Kevin for him to be able to reopen the boxes. He opened the box he knew contained her dress and he lifted her gown out and stood with it, taking a deep breath relishing her scent that still lingered on the fabric, he then remembered her in it standing all alone in the rain. He went to shake the dress out when a letter fell from a fold, he bent down to pick it up and he saw his name in her beautiful handwriting. With shaking hands he opened it.

ITo my love,

I sit here and remember all that was and all that should have been and I realize that I must move past you. You were my world, the reason I lived and breathed, without you I thought the world had no meaning. I finally realize that I was wrong. Although I still love you, I can live without you and still find beauty and meaning in the world around me. I will never love another as passionately and as deeply as I love you, nor do I ever want to. It is finally time for me to be myself, to have a real life and to let go of what was, because it is no longer. It nearly destroyed me once to imagine my life without your love, I know now that I was wrong, not that I wouldn't die without your love but that your love could ever leave me. I know now that I was wrong because your love will be with me forever just as mine is with you. Circumstances in this life may keep our physical bodies apart but never our love for each other. I only wish you happiness and peace in your life because I finally know that's what you wished for me. Good-bye my love. /I