Okay repost of another story I wrote awhile back. Hope you enjoy

The Life I Didn't Choose (Carly and Jason)

Note~ The great thing about fan fiction is when your soap opera does something so incredibly heartbreaking you can go back and fix it. Yea I stole the title from the X-Files, I saw the commercial today and when I heard that line I knew it was all Jason and Carly. I hope you enjoy!!!

November 30th 1999


I've lost him, all of my stupid schemes. What was I thinking, why didn't I get on that plane? He would have been mine forever. There would be no Elizabeth, there would be no AJ, no Q's, no mob. He would have been happy I know it. He would have been happy. God, how long have I been outside for? I see Harbor View Towers, it's only a few blocks away. I start to walk towards it. I don't know what I'm going to do once I get there, but I'm gonna do something.


Do I go to Jason or Sonny? Do I beg Jason for his forgiveness or do I go to Sonny and see if I still even have a shot or have I lost him forever to that whore? Sonny, definitely Sonny I will not look like a fool begging for forgiveness when he tells me he loves her not me.

Sonny's apartment~

We're fighting like we never have before; it's getting vicious. We want to hurt each other to make ourselves feel better; I know this yet I can't stop it. I start unbuttoning my blouse, I don't know why. I wanna see if I can get a charge out of him. I tell him that he wants me and that's why he hates me so much.

S: Holding back?

C: Oh, yeah, come on, Sonny. I know what you want. I've known what you've wanted

S: Yeah?

C: From the minute you laid eyes on me. And you hate it. You hate it that you want a woman because we're so inferior. (She begins to cry). We're so untrustworthy, except those little angelic beauties like your mother, like Lily or Hannah, whoever else, right? Doesn't even bother you that you stand there day after day, and you look at your best friend's girl and you think about what she might look like undressed. What bothers you is…what kills you is Jason. Poor Jason, look who he trusted, you

S: I could say the same thing for you.

C: Yeah, well you always do, don't you?

My knees start too shake, so what I'm not innocent, I'm not sweet, I'm not perfect all I am is basically an expensive whore. All of what Sonny's said is true. Oh god all of me starts to shake, I'm crying near

hysterics, someone takes me into their arms, but it's not Sonny because I'm looking directly at him. I raise my head and it's Jason holding me. "Shhh, Carly," he's saying, "it'll be all right."

C: No it won't you love her, you'll never love me.

J: Who do I love?

C: Elizabeth, Sonny's right she's what you need. I just can't stop loving you. I want to so bad, I want it to stop hurting.

"I love you" he says it so softly I think I'm dreaming it.

"What?" I say in return, my tears have quieted down.

"I love you," he says as his blue eyes gaze into mine and then he says it again "I Jason Morgan love Carly Roberts Caroline Benson Carly Quartermaine whatever name you want to go by, I will always love you."

"Are you serious?"

"Amazingly enough yea, I don't know when it happened Carly but I love you. Elizabeth is just a sweet kid, she's still hurting from losing Lucky, I'm her friend that's it."

"You're not joking"


"Oh Jason" I say as I fling my arms around him and he holds me. He just hold me, nothing more but then I start to feel a wetness seep through my shirt. "That's funny," I think "the weatherman didn't say anything about rain." I raise my hand up to his hair, completely dry but his neck is wet with perspiration. "Jason" I say as I step back, then I look down and I see the red on my shirt, my eyes quickly dart over to his. "Sonny" I scream.

He comes running back into the room. "What?" he yells the he looks at Jason "Oh god"

J (trying to calm me down): It's not that bad really

S: What happened?

I take off his coat and he groans "A set up" I lift up his shirt and I see the bullet hole in his perfect tanned skin now covered in blood.

"Sonny," I nearly scream "get a doctor!" He runs to the doorway and sends Johnny for him. I start leading Jason to his old room off the kitchen. "You just let me go on and on like that?"

"You were upset"

"Yea well I'll be a lot more upset if anything happens to you"

"It won't"

"How can you say that Jason, you were shot"

"Yea, but I have you to make me better. Not to mention you're too stubborn to let me die"

"You're right about that, my life is perfect. There's no way I'm gonna let you die and f*ck it all up"

"Where's Michael?"

"At the Q's"

"I'll get him back for you"

"I know you will, now be quiet and save your strength," I say as I help him into bed.


I've looked back on that day many times in these past two decades and wondered what if. What if Jason hadn't come in when he had? What if instead of walking around for that half-hour I went straight to Sonny's? What if Jason had died? What if he hadn't said I love you? But the thing is none of those what ifs happened and here I am after 19 years of marriage still lying in his arms as I wait up to hear the garage door go up signaling Amanda's safe return home. Michael's graduating in two weeks from Yale and his favorite Aunt Robin will be sitting next to us. Amanda's graduating in just over a month and her godfather, Sonny will take more picture than the rest of us combined. Kyle will be joining the working force for the first time as soon as school's over for summer break and Jessica, my little baby who just turned nine will wake me up at nine tomorrow, even though it's Saturday to make her breakfast. I thank god everyday that none of those what ifs happened. I couldn't imagine my life without Jason; I would have no life without Jason.

I hope you enjoyed!!