Misunderstandings And Assumptions

It was October 10, Naruto's 18th birthday, to be exact. Sasuke had been back for almost two years now. He actually would have gotten the death sentence, if it was not for the blond kitsune. So, as a small token of appreciation, he decided make a cake for Naruto. Sasuke figured that he should be nice to Naruto for his birthday. Anyways, if he didn't Sakura would bother him about it till he died, then she'd come to his grave to pester him about, she was just that annoying, to him at least.

Naruto had walked into his kitchen. Sasuke was showing him how to make a cake. Initially, he was surprised Sasuke was being so nice to him, but then again Sasuke has been known to be very unpredictable, but hey so was he himself. It was also known to a few shinobi, that both boys have had harbored certain feeling towards each other. Though, unknown to the two teens, they were being watched. Sakura, Ino, Ten-Ten, Sai, and Kakashi were outside the door listening to them.

Sasuke's and Naruto's POV

Sasuke had prepared the batter, it just needed stirred.

Naruto: "How do we turn it on?" Naruto pointed towards the oven.

Sasuke: "You have to prepare first." He pointed towards the unstirred batter.

Naruto: "Oh." Sasuke handed the orange clad leaf ninja a whisk. Naruto started stirring the batter. "Is this right?"

Sasuke: "Just go a little faster."

Naruto: Naruto turned the oven on. "Do we need to turn it up further?"

Sasuke: "Just a little."

Naruto: Naruto put the pan with the cake batter in the oven. "Am I doing okay?"

Sasuke: "Just push it in a little further."

Naruto: "Okay" Naruto pushed the pan in the oven a little further. "Is that far enough?"

Sasuke: "Yep."

Outside the door POV

Outside the door Kakashi had a smirk on his face, and some rather perverted ideas in mind, his infamous Icha Icha Paradise book in hand. Sai had his sketchbook on him, while drawing some rather interesting pictures. Sakura, Ino, and Ten-Ten were staring into space, eyes glazed over and drooling with the images of those two making love to each other. Then they heard Naruto say, "Sasuke maybe this would be easier if you showed me what to do next time." "Okay dobe."


The first cake was done baking, and Naruto was taking it out of the oven, forgetting the oven mitt (or pot holder), and of course, he burned himself.

Naruto: "Owww. Teme it hurts!"

Sasuke: "Hold still, it won't for long." Sasuke took out a mini burn kit. He opened it to take out the Aloe Vera.

Naruto: "Teme, what are you gonna do?"

Sasuke: "I'm going to make it feel all better."

Naruto: "What's with that lotion jelly stuff?"

Sasuke: "This will make it feel better."

Naruto: "Okay." Naruto said in a tiny voice.

Sasuke: "Now to start you do it like this." Sasuke showed Naruto how to crack an egg and start to start the batter.

Naruto: "Ahh…" Naruto nodded in understanding.

Sasuke: "Now, once the preparations are done, we…", then the door swung open.

Everyone's POV

Kakashi: "What do you two think you're doing?"

Ten-Ten, Ino, Sakura: "Yaoi!" The girls came in with cameras blazing.

Sai: "Do they even have penises to make it yaoi in the first place?"

Sakura: "Shut the fuck up Sai!" Sakura punched Sai over the head, and then turned towards the two they were eavesdropping on.

Sasuke: "What are all of you doing?"

Sakura: "Umm…"

Ino: "We…uh…thought you two were uh…"

Ten-Ten: "Screwing each other like doggies!"

Naruto: "Wha-what?" Naruto turned like about thirty shades of red.

Sasuke: "I was teaching Naruto how to bake a cake you idiots."

Sai: "Well this is a recording of your conversation from our side of the door."


"How do we turn it on?"

"You have to prepare first."

"Oh, is this right?"

"Yes, just go a little faster."

"Do we need to turn it up more?"

"Just a little."

"Am I doing okay?"

"Just push it in a little more."

"Okay, is that far enough?"



"Sasuke, maybe it would be easier if you showed me what to do next time."

"Okay, dobe."


"Owww…Teme it hurts!"

"Hold still, it won't for long"

"Teme, what are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to make it feel all better."

"What's with that lotion jelly stuff?"

"This will make it feel better."



"Now, to start you do it like this."


"Now, once the preparations are done, we…"


Naruto kept growing redder by the second, while Sasuke remained impassive. It actually really did sound like they were actually having sex.

*Time skip*

A few hours later, the eavesdropping shinobi heard a similar conversation coming from Naruto and Sasuke, again. Thinking nothing of it, because of, well the incident earlier, they walked right in. Well, that was a big mistake. When they walked in, Sasuke was pounding into the blond with such a force, the bed was actually moving. Yet, the blond was asking for, no wait, begging for Sasuke to go faster, harder, and deeper. They all had passed out on the floor, unconscious, and bleeding. It seemed, they lost a little to much blood from their extensive nosebleeds.

Now two last things:

Happy birthday Naruto

Now the eavesdroppers made one mistake, they kept assuming. Remember this, if you ASSUme, it makes an ASS out of U. So don't assume, lest you become a…Donkey jk