WARNING: This story has dark humor. It's told from Bullseye's eyes, so of course, it's kind of cruel and sarcastic. I had a lot of fun making him as mean as possible, and I believe it shows.

A/N: Girlwithoutfear just sent me her notes, so hopefully it's a little better. Momentous occasion, by the way. First time there's been less than five edits on a chapter!

Dedicated to PikkiPiru, you thrust this idea into my head with your review of KILL DU JOUR.

I Never Miss:

Chapter One: Boardroom

The boardroom is dimly lit. For once the movies about the plotting, rich, fat men are right. They really do their planning in the dark. I use this to my advantage. They don't even notice me arrive, and that's the way it should be. No one sees me unless I want to be seen.

One of the moneybags makes a comment that is beyond the normal stupidity of the group. I hate these people. They are afraid. They are weak. I must help them. For a price, of course.

"How much?" I say, making the idiots wince. The sight of their momentary fear makes my heart glow.

"Nine mill," the amateur replies. Nine million? What are they thinking? I don't make single digits.

I widen my sneer and watch the effect of its reflection around the table. "I don't think so."

"How much would you say?"

They're learning. I relax my face and look at my chain of paperclips. It's getting long – I haven't used one for a while. I can practically hear the adrenaline pumping through the men's veins. I wait for a few seconds before responding. Let them sweat for a while.

"Double it."


The decision is fast. One point to the moneybags. At least they don't waste too much of my time.

One of them holds out their hand. I ignore it. I don't make deals. I'm an honest man.

The man seems to understand what he's done wrong after a few, very long seconds. What idiots. I make sure to shoot him one of my patented sneers. They always help to lighten the mood.

"Well, gentlemen, it's been nice," I say. I let my eyes wander across the dim table, enjoying their obvious terror at my cordiality. Why, I can't be sure.

I exit the room with a flare. If there's one thing my father taught me before I killed him, it's how to make your disappearance seen.