Author's Note: Same basic storyline, different universe. When I wrote this, I couldn't decide which to do - so I wrote both! This version is a little longer and sillier. Hope you enjoy!
"Get back here, you lying scumbag!"
A young man bolted down the street, dodging between pedestrians and jostling arms and shoulders as he went. He hurriedly shoved messy bangs out of his violet-gray eyes as he ducked around a corner, praying for an escape route to present itself before him. He really didn't want to get charged with something outlandish just because of swindling someone out of a measly twenty bucks. After all, it wasn't his fault that people were so gullible these days!
'Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn...' the sole word was a mantra in Miroku's mind as he rounded another corner, still hoping for that elusive escape route. If it didn't show up soon... 'Ah ha!'
One essential characteristic of Miroku Sekushii was that he was a man who did not believe in passing up opportunities. That was why, when he caught sight of the quaint little outdoors café across the street, he didn't waste any time in taking advantage of the short lull in traffic to race to the opposite sidewalk. Barely chancing a glance over his shoulder to gauge the distance between himself and his pursuer—who was just now coming back into view, looking every which way for the guilty fugitive—Miroku caught sight of another opportunity.
He launched himself over the mostly decorative iron fence, effectively startling several of the café patrons, and barely had time to register what he was doing before he grabbed a young, slender woman who had been walking past by the arm. He swung her around so that her back was to the street, one arm slipping around her waist and the other sliding to her cheek. Not pausing to consider the ramifications of what he was about to do, Miroku brought the woman's body flush against his and gave her a long, thorough kiss.
It wasn't until Miroku pulled away from the girl, shockingly breathless from what he considered a relatively chaste kiss, that he got a proper look at her. She was pretty, he noted with more than a little relief, with long chestnut hair, sepia tinted eyes and a figure many other women would probably kill for. Her form was only accentuated by her simple yet graceful apparel. She looked completely shocked, her eyes wide, lips parted wordlessly, and cheeks darkened by a sweet blush.
He always had had that sort of effect on women, and Miroku was happy to further continue his reputation.
Realizing that he was still holding her, their faces only inches apart, Miroku was about to introduce himself and maybe even apologize for his forwardness, when someone else spoke first.
"Sango... Who is this?"
Sango honestly didn't know what to do. Ten minutes earlier, she had been in the midst of a decent conversation with her date. He was equally decent, though she didn't exactly like him as much as he seemed to think she did. Things had been looking on the upside, and she had wondered if she might get her first kiss when the date ended — she got the impression that this man would definitely kiss her if she let him. Somewhere in the midst of their conversation, nature had called and she'd excused herself for a trip to the facilities. And now... Now, she was wrapped up in the embrace of a complete stranger who'd just stolen her aforementioned first kiss...
...Right in front of her indignant date, who was now demanding to know what was going on.
It should have been her asking that question!
Coming to her senses, Sango abruptly shoved the strange man away from her. It was hard to find leverage due to his proximity, and she could feel her cheeks begin to burn when she realized people were staring.
"This isn't what it looks like, Kuranosuke! I don't even know who this man is!" she spluttered, facing the taller man who had spoken. He gave her a long look, then sighed and shook his head woefully.
"No, Sango, there's no need. I understand. I just wish that you'd have been honest and straightforward with me, instead of devising this to let me know you're not interested. I must say though, I never expected you to be the sort to lead me on..."
"Goodbye Sango. I won't hinder your decisions any longer. Best of luck."
Then, her date—ex-date—turned and walked away.
Sango's fists clenched, and furious indignation sliced through her. Enraged, she rounded on the strange man who'd kissed her, getting into his face.
"Who the hell do you think you are!" she demanded. The guy didn't even have the decency to flinch, instead managing to have the utter gall to look completely unflappable. He even smiled.
"The name is Miroku. I believe yours is Sango, right? I apologize for startling you like that, but you are rather irresistible." He winked, before something crossed his mind, causing him to frown momentarily. "Besides... I needed a way to blend in..."
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Pardon?"
Miroku looked a bit uncomfortable. "Uh..." His confident smile made a sudden comeback as he said, "The brother of an ex of mine decided to pay a visit, if you take my meaning."
"And that gives you a legitimate reason to kiss me out of nowhere? I've never even met you before!" she yelled, oblivious to the fact she was drawing more stares from patrons and passerby.
"...What's your point?" he asked.
Sango's jaw dropped, and she struggled to regain her composure. "That is my point."
Miroku gave her a look of confusion. "I don't get it. I mean, I've gone plenty farther with girls I didn't even know the names of before, so why is one little kiss such a big deal?"
That's when Sango slapped him.
"You... You insufferable ba—"
"Excuse me," a waitress finally interrupted, "but will you two pipe down and sit down? You're bothering our other customers and driving away other potential business."
She did have a point. Sango deflated, giving a Miroku a final glare and turning her attention to the employee.
"Sorry for the disturbance. I think I'll be leaving now," Sango informed the other girl, snatching her purse from the table.
"Miss, I'm sorry, you've already ordered. Even if you're not going to eat the food, you need to pay."
...Sango had forgotten about that.
And thanks to Kuranosuke's theatrical exit, the bill was all on her.
She knew it. She was going to kill this Miroku guy. Not only had he kissed her, but he had completely ruined her evening as well!
"Well, no sense in letting good food go to waste!" Miroku exclaimed, interrupting Sango's dangerous thought. He was still smiling despite the bruise forming where she'd struck him.. "What do you say, Sango? Let me fill in for your date? The meal's on me. It's the least I could do."
She stared at him for a lengthy minute, completely baffled and ignoring the waitress when she cleared her throat impatiently. This guy...! He was a complete jerk! But…the thoughts came unbidden. He was attractive, and he did have really nice lips... There was something about his unshakeable confidence that drew her in as much as it aggravated her.
"Fine," she surrendered grudgingly, dropping into her earlier chair as Miroku gracefully took the one across from her. "I'll have you know I'll be ordering the most expensive dessert and an entree to go."
"Take your pick," he told her, and Sango found herself blushing under his gaze even as she promised herself she would have an awful time.
Little did she know that it would be the best meal she'd ever had.
Alternate Universe Version
Originally posted October 2006, removed November 2007.
Re-posted with edits 10/18/2009.