Welcome to this page! I've started playing Dot hack G.U. once again lately and driven by an unreasonable force, I scouted for fics with Kuhn, and... What? What did I see? The lack of contents on the page startled me. There was only two fics, two lonely fics on that white page! I decided to add some diversity to it, I made it my mission!
I do not own Dot Hack//whatever. Y'know, I never read a fic that goes like 'hey, I own it'. That'd be weird :D
Summary: Atoli hated both her school and her parents and wished she could change her life, but after saving the Lost Ones, she will regret her wish. Now all alone in a new city, she will try to survive, and a certain flirty gamer will help her at that.
I hate school. Those long white corridors… they make me sick. Whenever I am walking through it, I get laughed at by the kids hanging there. They pick on me, the easy target. I always become unable to defend myself against their vicious attacks and I shut down completely, faking nonchalance to shield myself from them. But why do they do that to me? What's wrong with me not liking popular TV shows? Is it a sin, not to know the latest fashion, to be a calm student, to be so submissive…? Because I'm unlike the average teenager, then do they have to eliminate me? Why can't we get along together, sharing our many hobbies and interests?! I'm human too, after all. We can't be all too different.
I guess they don't see it that way. They still despise me. So, I came to the conclusion that maybe I'm not really normal. Almost as if I wasn't human. Logic would remind me of the lack of sense in that. Watching myself in a mirror, it is obvious that I really come from this planet. I possess all limbs required. My skin is hairless, except for a few exceptions. My brown eyes reflected in the glass inform me of my human nature. Yet, inside me, I don't feel like I'm one. They made me feel this way. I wished I could be one of them, be part of the group. What is sadder than to be the only one of a kind, after all? It is human nature to group together with people alike.
I tried dressing like them. I listened to their music, read their magazines. For a brief moment, I even began feeling good. But then…
I also hate home. It wasn't always the case, just as I didn't always hate school. It's just… my dad… I-I love my parents, really, I do! But when I wanted to become like the other kids, my parents stopped me. My dad yelled at me, while Mom just sat next to him, silently, without intervening. We were around the table, in the kitchen, an envelope with the school name on it ripped open. My bad grades were out in the open. I fearfully look at them, apprehending the moment and thinking "I reached their limit."
To my father, this sudden change in my behaviour was inappropriate of a girl from a good family. Girls weren't supposed to dress so provocatively, to stand out from the crowd. He pointed my clothes accusingly, words flying out of his mouth disgracefully. Who in their right mind would wear that? Good girls wore dresses, long, flowing skirts. His speech slowly switched from my inappropriate appearance to my notes. Why were my grades going down? What was I doing all this time? While I spent time reading those filthy, teenager magazines, my studies suffered. If I kept this up, I would fail to live honourably, and with the attitude that I was showing, I wouldn't even be able to rely on a good husband to support me.
Dad hit the table with his fist. I startled, along with Mom. We both shut our eyes, but never did she tell him to calm down. He shouted to me to go back to my room, which I did, without a word. After the door was closed and locked, I removed one by one my new, last fashioned clothes and put on something more 'appropriate', more to my father's tastes. My other clothes replaced carefully in my wardrobe, I sat in front of my computer.
At school, students keep reminding me how un-cool I am. No matter what I do, no matter what I wear, I always remain the girl that they don't want to hang out with. I try, and I try so much, but nobody looks at me.
At home, my parents disapprove my behaviour. They want a quiet daughter, one that will respect their morale, one that will only look pretty and kind, a doll. No matter what I do, I always disappoint them; I always remain a failure in their eyes. I try, and I try so much, but they don't look at me.
No one really see what I am. Nobody cares to know what I really want. I'm not sure of what I want, anyway. I'm not sure what to do. There's just this feeling growing each day inside me. I want to get away from all this. If only... everything could disappear. Why can't people just leave me alone? I can't meet anyone expectations after all. What can a teenager like me do, when she feels more hostility than love towards her parents? Where to hide if all the places she usually went did not welcome her anymore?
I sometimes wish that they could all go away, so I can never them again, but that's never going to happen. I'm stuck in this situation for at least a few years still.
Fortunately, there is one world where some people wait for me, people with good ideals, and people with compassion. And as long as this world exists, I'll be able to bear the reality. Long enough for me to move out of this house, to a place where I'll never see my schoolmates or my parents again.
A hand dove into the metal letter box labelled "Kusaka", searching for envelops. Finding none, the person quickly closed it and walked at a quick pace toward the door, eager to get inside.
Chigusa (1) came in, trying to hide the excitement that accompanied all day long from her mother, because today would be the Day. A day for a new world, a day to correct the mistakes she has done through the last months. She wasn't the same old Atoli anymore, who used to cry on her poor little self. No, someone very dear to her showed her the way towards forgiveness and she would try her best to succeed, by being next him. Haseo could count on her now.
It didn't mean that she wasn't scared, though. AIDA has proven many times to react violently. She has tasted firsthand just how truly dangerous the virus really was. What she was about to do tonight could put her into a coma, and the very thought sent a chill down her bones. The few times that she lost consciousness spooked her. However, she couldn't let everyone down.
In that state, she called out for her mother in a tone that seemed rather normal. No one answered her back and after taking her shoes off, Chigusa ventured into the kitchen. A note on the fridge informed her that her mother went out shopping and that both her and her father wouldn't be back before a while. Typical.
The young girl would usually feel alone in this house, but she was overjoyed this time. She could go into The World without having to worry about her parents bothering her. It was the last thing that she needed today, especially with the fight coming. With that, Chigusa literally ran to her bedroom and turned the computer off. While her PC began to run, she made a sprint to the kitchen, grabbed something to drink, and came back. There was no time to waste on cooking.
The M2D installed, she launched the game. In a moment, she became a blonde cleric, ready to save the world.
It was hours later when she finally placed the goggles down on the desk, shaking. It had been so difficult to part with everyone, even though she knew that they would all meet again tomorrow. They won the fight, but it didn't mean their friendship was over yet. Or so she kept repeating herself. After all, if Shino regained consciousness, maybe Haseo... No! No, he would keep talking to her. This was not the time to get depressed. They beat AIDA, after all!
The odd silence inside the house suddenly hit her. A quick glance to the computer alarmed her. Two in the morning! She never looked at the time throughout the fight, too involved into what was going on. Her stomach chose that particular time to manifest its hunger also. Chigusa grabbed that drink she had brought earlier. Its warmth made her wince and she decided that a trip to the kitchen wouldn't be so bad. She tiptoed to the wardrobe, picked a pyjama and carefully changed her clothes. She messed her hair a little to make it look like she has been asleep and undid her bed. Her parents would kill her if they knew she has been playing for so long.
In fact, it was strange that they didn't talk to her at all since they came back. They would usually drop in, to make sure that she wasn't just playing games, much to her annoyance. The World was still the only place that she felt comfortable in. If they took that away, she didn't know what she would do.
Nothing in the fridge really tempted her and at this time of the night, she couldn't very well start cooking, so she finally settled for a yogurt. The teenager settled down at the counter, and recalled the fight. It was a good thing that it was Sunday because she wouldn't be able to fall asleep before a while. She could still feel the adrenaline rushing through her veins and her heart pumping loudly in her chest. Knowing her mother, she would wake her daughter early in the morning for the house chores.
At the very thought of that, she groaned. Her mother never let her sleep the morning away. She had to write her a note, saying that she felt sick or something. Then, maybe she would have a chance... Chigusa finished her snack and looked for the notepad. The kitchen light fell on her shoes in the hall and for the first time, noticed that her parents' weren't there. Now, that was certainly strange. Why would they...
Forgetting her task, the young girl climbed the stairs in a hurry, fear gnawing her insides. In front of her parents' bedroom, she paused a moment, then quietly opened the door. Her eyes knew where to look for, but the darkness made it impossible for her to distinguish any forms, and flipping the light open would be a very big mistake.
She closed the door carefully and sighed. She was imagining all kind of the things again. It was raining outside. Her parents would often leave their shoes in the bathtub when they were wet. If only she stopped worrying for a moment...
Someone knocked at the entrance.
It was so unexpected that at first, she thought she imagined it, but when it knocked a second time, Chigusa gasped and hurried to the first floor. Who is bothering them so late? It was downright impolite.
She hesitantly opened the door by a creek and answered. She opened the door wider when she noticed the man at the door. "Y-yes?"
"Hello. My name is Suou Matsuda, from the police department. Can I please have your name, ma'am?"
The police? Did something happen in the neighbourhood? "Y-yes, I am Chigusa Kusaka... Would you like to speak to my father, sir? I will wake him up..."
"No, please stay here. I have something important to tell you. Your parents were involved in a car accident five hours ago and..."
She never felt lonelier than at this very moment.
(1)According to Dot hack Wikipedia (thanks, wiki!), the player behind Atoli is Chigusa Kusaka. Believe it or not, I hesitated when I came to write down Atoli's real first name. I wasn't sure which name was which. Chigusa seems a logical choice, I guess...
The chapter's kind of short, but I felt it'd be better to start Atoli's new life in another chapter. Things will get more interesting next time (well, to my opinion).
Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks.