So, I was sitting in my living room freezing to death and eating jaffa cakes when this came out of nowhere, hit me round the head and demanded to be written. Ta-da. Tell me what you think, please.
Might have spoilers in it now and then, kind of. I'm not sure.
I am not very keen on this title. I couldn't think of one so this one'll have to do...
I know he doesn't like me.
I annoy him. I can tell. Sure, a lot of people and things annoy him... I just seem to get to him worse than the rest. I wish I didn't. The fact that I know I do hurts so much. I just want to get to know him. I want him to like me. I'd even be okay with just being his friend! I want us to be more than friends, but since I know that's impossible, especially with someone like Neku, who finds it so hard to make friends, I'm not aiming that high. There's no way I'd manage it.
I've tried being friendly to him, of course, but he doesn't seem to appreciate it.
He's not like this with Beat and Rhyme. Why not? What is it about me that's so repellant? I know I'm plain and ordinary and he probably sees me as childish for still carrying Mr. Mew around with me, but I'm not a bad person, am I? Is it so hard to be friends with me?
It's so typical. The boy I like finds me completely irritating and a nuisance. I've never been drawn to someone before like I'm drawn to him.
He's different... he's... I find him magnetic.
"Shiki! Shiki!" squeals Rhyme as I stand by the statue of Hachiko, thinking about Neku. This was where we'd agreed to meet after the Game. Of course, that didn't happen until two weeks later... two weeks later than we'd agreed.
I brighten up as soon as I hear her voice. How can I not? This Rhyme we're talking about, and it's impossible for me to be unhappy around Rhyme.
I smile. "Hey Rhyme!" I say, waving.
She bounces over happily and looks concerned.
"You look down..." she says, tilting her head to one side. "What's the matter?"
I shrug. "Nothing really," I lie. "But really, I haven't seen you for a while - how are you?" I sound too bright. And since she's Rhyme, she'll see right through me. It is impossible to lie convincingly to her.
Rhyme clucks her tongue. "I'm great, but really, don't try to change the subject!" She gives me a forceful hug around the waist. "A problem shared is a problem halved, that's what I always say. Tell me what's bothering you!"
I shake my head. "Rhyme, it really is nothing. I'm just thinking, is that so bad?" I smile weakly.
She narrows her eyes, looking up at me, still attached to my waist. "You've been thinking about Neku."
"What?! I have not! Where are you getting this from?" I say, trying to keep my voice level.
"Well... you like him... that's obvious... and you looked sort of dreamy, as well as down, just now, so I think you were thinking about someone you like. Probably Neku." She is way too insightful for her own good.
I wriggle free of her grasp. For such a small girl, she was a very strong grip.
"Please, Rhyme, don't. Leave it," I say a little sharper than I intended to, trying to get her to leave me alone without actually saying it. I don't want to hurt her. She's my friend and although I would rather be alone right now, I don't want to offend her and lose her friendship. Besides, if I lose her friendship, I would probably lose Beat's, and Neku doesn't want to be friends with me anyway, and so I would be left with Eri. Things have been strange between me and Eri ever since I came back to life. It will never be the same between us.
Rhyme looks sad. "Well." That's all she says. Just 'well'. She fiddles with her hat awkwardly, adjusting it. "I..."
"I'm sorry, Rhyme. I just don't want to talk about it." I hug Mr. Mew. I know it's childish but hugging him honestly makes me feel better.
The blonde girl smiles widely at me. "Oh come on Shiki, don't worry! It's okay if you don't want to talk! But if you ever want to talk about it..." She trails off and opens her arms slightly. "You can come to me!" She really is extraordinary. It's so hard not to confide in her.
"Of course, Rhyme." I smile softly, still feeling guilty.
"Well...um...I'm just passing through on the way home now, so I kinda need to go, but I'll see you later, okay?" she tells me, before stretching her arms out in front of her, smiling, and giving me another brief hug before she is once again lost in the crowds again.
It's too loud here. There are too many people; I feel like I'm suffocating. I need to go home.
Until I see Neku in the crowds. I feel like I'm frozen to the spot.
He glances up, and he's looking right at me. He looks me straight in the eye and I look away abruptly. I can't seem to maintain eye contact with him.
He looks away too, and carries on walking.
He doesn't even come over and say hello.
He doesn't care.
I look away and realise that it'll be getting dark soon. I hug Mr. Mew close to me, hide behind my hair and try to get home as quick as I can, before I start crying right out there in the street.
I wish I didn't feel this way about him.
Hmm...should I continue this or not? I have a few ideas of how I might progress on this but it's a bit pointless if no one wants me to. Reviews are love.