Yea, there's a method to my madness and if only I could find it, I could make you safe. See, there's a therapist trying to tell me that you are just a figment of my tainted brain.

No, I believe that you're not just conjured up. No, I believe cause I feel it when we touch. You make it dry when it's raining outside. You warm my blood when the temperature dies. You're my crutch when it's all too hard to take. See, without you here, I could not be anywhere.

A wide-eyed flutter and the violins, they swell. I lost everything I own, I don't need it, can you tell? All I truly need it you. This disturbing make-believe come true...

I spent every cent I ever had just to buy you things that you ultimately never get. But now I'm starting to believe that I'm really going crazy cause I can't recall when we met.

Natalie, It turns out that you were just my sick little fantasy, SO I tried to pry you from my head. Now look at me... It appears as if I've injured myself severely, but like the doctor said... You were always dead...

Now I'm in stitches over you and over you...

The bare white walls made the small brunette boy feel even emptier inside than he did before. The room he was given was small, about the size of a car. It had only a twin sized bed covered in white sheets and a white dresser. He was empty and alone. Something he had always feared his entire life.

The boy sat in the corner of the room, hugging his legs to his chest. Even his clothing was white. He was in this place to gain his sanity back but all the white bareness was making him feel like he would go even more insane. The boy's clear sky blue eyes scanned the room. A room he was starting to grow accustomed to after six months of being there.

The door to the room had one small window that could open from the outside. This room was now his room. The lack of color was not his choice. It was recommended by his therapist. Color would only make his problem worse. He knew that, but still, he missed the bright colors of his own room back home. He missed home period.

Sora Konan was sixteen and was clinically insane. As far as anyone could tell, he had been his entire life. Well, almost his entire life. But it wasn't Sora's fault. He never thought he was insane. In fact, he always thought he was quite cheerful and friendly. Truth was he is. Still was actually.

It was Sora's choice to enter Redman's Facility for the Mentally Ill.

It all started the day Sora met a little boy by the name of Roxas.

The park was one of Sora's favorite places to play. He loved it when his mother would bring him there. At only six, the outside was Sora's favorite place. He loved the swings the most. But usually they were all taken. So one day, Sora got aggravated that the bigger kids would always push him off the swing so he went to look for something else to play.

Sora stumbled through a bush and found an old, rusty swing set hidden behind the fence of the playground. He was so excited that he ran right to it and almost got on it until he heard a voice. It was soft at first but Sora heard it.

"That's my swing." The voice said.

Sora blinked and turned around to see a small blonde boy about his age standing there. There was only one swing and Sora really wanted to play. So he smiled at the blonde boy and ran over to him. "Hi! I'm Sora! Why don't we share?"

The blonde boy tilted his head, his pale blue eyes sparkling a tiny bit. "You mean... Play... together?"

"Of course! I can push you and you can push me! It'll be fun!"

A light shade of pink tainted the blonde's cheeks. "I... guess that's okay..."

Sora grabbed the blonde's hand and pulled him over to the swing. "You get on first, Kay? Since it's your swing." Sora helped the blonde onto the swing and got behind him to push. "What's your name?"

"R-Roxas. My name's Roxas."

Sora grinned at the blonde and placed his hand on his back to push. "We're gonna be good friends Roxas. I just know it."

Sora closed his eyes tightly at the memory. It was so real. He was so real. It was all so real. He remembered it clearly. All of it. Like it had only happened yesterday. He hugged his knees closer and buried his head in his crossed arms. He was hoping the medication would kick in soon.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Sora yelled as he ran toward his brunette mother sitting on a bench reading.

"Sora?" She quickly got to her feet, worried.

The small six years old ran up to his mother, grinning, his hand clutching something. "Mommy! I made a new friend!"

His mother sighed in relief and bent down to him. "You did, hm? Who is it?"

Sora grinned and tugged on Roxas' hand, pulling the blonde to stand before his mother. "His name's Roxas!"

Sora's mother blinked. She was quiet a moment before it dawned on her. Sora made an imaginary friend for she didn't see Roxas. She only saw thin air and Sora's tiny hand clutching nothing. "Um, it's nice to meet you Roxas." She fake smiled at what she thought was who her son was talking about.

"Roxas doesn't have a home, so can he come stay with us?"

"Of course he can." Sora's mother smiled and stood up straight. "It's getting late Sora, let's get home."

Sora nodded vigorously. "Okay!" His mother smiled and turned to get her things. "See Roxas! I told you my mom would be okay with you staying." He paused for a moment. "Of course she likes you! I like you!" She turned back around to see her son hugging nothing. She really didn't think anything of it. It was normal for children his age to have imaginary friends. She wasn't going to worry about it.

Sora remembered that day very clearly as well. He remembered the way his mother looked at him and not at Roxas. She didn't see him. But he was too young to understand why. Over the years, Roxas never went away. The older he got, the more people began to think he was just a little strange.

As Sora grew, Roxas grew too. And feelings neither of them expected started to rise.

Sora was laying on his bed on his stomach reading a magazine when Roxas asked him the most out of the blue question.

"Sora, do you think I'm cute?"

The brunette was thrown off. Roxas had been sitting on the floor on the other side of the room but when Sora looked up from his magazine, Roxas was sitting on his knees at the end of the bed on the floor right in front of Sora.

"What kind of question is that?"

Sora had just had his thirteenth birthday and Roxas was the same age. Roxas didn't go to school though, atleast he wasn't enrolled. He still went with Sora everyday though. He went everywhere with Sora. But no one else could see Roxas. Not even Sora's good friend Riku. But deep in his heart Sora knew Roxas was real. He knew he was not just seeing things. Roxas was not made up.

"I was just wondering... Cause I think you're cute."

Sora blinked before blushing a deep red. "W-What?"

"Well, I do." Roxas was always blunt.

Sora moved to his knees and tilted his head at Roxas. "I've always thought you were cute Roxas. From the day we met at that old swing set."

A smile formed on Roxas' lips that sent a shiver down Sora's spine. "Yea, but do you think I'm cute enough to... Kiss?" Roxas asked as he crawled onto Sora's bed.

"K-Kiss?" Sora stuttered, surprised by Roxas' question. "I-I don't know."

"Want to find out?" Roxas got on his knees in front of Sora, a small tint of pink on his cheeks.

Sora took a deep breath but nodded anyway. He was curious. So Roxas leaned forward only a tiny bit until their lips touched softly. Roxas' lips were so cold against Sora's. Roxas was always cold. It was something Sora was used to. But the feeling sent a surge of something through Sora's entire body. Something he couldn't explain but something he enjoyed.

Their lips parted soon after, both boys blushing deeply.

"Yea... Cute enough to kiss." Sora mumbled softly.

"Sora!" His bedroom door suddenly opened to reveal his mother. "Who are you talking to?"

Sora blinked, tilted his head, than jabbed his thumb in Roxas' direction. "Roxas."

His mother's face suddenly turned red and her eyes narrowed. "Don't pull that on me Sora."

"Pull what?"

"You're thirteen. You're too old for an imaginary friend."

Roxas stiffened and Sora felt anger flow through his veins. "He's not imaginary!" Sora snapped loudly at his mother.

She was too surprised to say anything. His yell attracted his father who entered the room soon after. "What is going on here?"

Sora quickly got to his feet. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you mom."

"Sora... How... How can this be?"

"I don't... He's right there." Sora pointed at the blonde that only he could see. "I don't know how else to explain it."

"Sora." His father said sternly. "You're thirteen. It's time to grow up and move on from this Roxas. He's not real."


"Sora." His father said a warning in his tone.

"He is real! He's real to me! And and and... I love him!" Even Sora was surprised by his own words.

"You love me?" Roxas said, quickly getting to his feet to stand beside Sora.

Sora turned to the blonde and nodded his face red. "I... I do."

Roxas smiled that smile that would make Sora's heart melt and his wrapped his arms around Sora tightly. "I-I love you too."

Sora grinned and returned the hug just as tightly. "Good."

"No! Not my son. This is not happening." His mother started to yell, having a mini melt down.

Sora blinked and turned to his parents, confused. "Mom, being gay isn't that big a deal anymore."

He left his mother speechless.

"That's it." His father walked up to him and grabbed him. "We're taking you to see someone. This can't go on any longer."

"What? Wait, no." Sora struggled as his father started to pull him out of the room. But he was no match for his father's strength. "Roxas!" He reached out for the blonde but Roxas just stood there. He really didn't know what to do.

The last thing Sora saw was Roxas' pale blue eyes start to tear as he was pulled down the stairs.

Sora sniffed. That was the best and worst day of his life. He found out Roxas loved him than he found out he was insane. His parents took him to a shrink who deemed Sora to have Schizophrenia. Sora was given many pills but nothing worked. He still saw Roxas and he still loved him.

So how did he end up in this facility?

Six Months Before

It was just a normal day for Sora. He went to school on time and enjoyed his classes. He was picked on like usual but Roxas was always behind him to remind him how much he loved him. Every Wednesday, Sora had to see a shrink. Sora hated it but he did it for his parents. This day happened to be a Wednesday.

He was sitting on the big comfy white couch, waiting for his shrink, Mr. Strife. The man was really nice and seemed to understand Sora more than anyone else. Other than Roxas of course. Recently, Sora was having doubts about Roxas actually existing. Why could no one else see him? He didn't know... Neither of them did.

"Hello Sora." The door opened and Mr. Strife walked in.

"Hey." Sora sat up straight and watched the blonde shrink sit down in his own comfy white chair. Sora hated white...

"How are you today?" He asked, getting comfy, his complete attention on Sora.

"Pretty good."

"How was school?"

Sora groaned. "Some kids poured mashed potatoes in my hair..." He ran a hand through his soft spiky brunette hair at the memory.

"Well that was rude of them."

"I thought so too."

"And... How's Roxas?"

Sora blinked and glanced at the blonde sitting right beside him. "Um..."

"He's here?" Mr. Strife sat up straight intrigued. Sora had never brought Roxas with him before.

"Well... yea... See he's been real protective today because some kids in gym... were messing with me."

"Messing with you how?"

Sora lowered his eyes to the multicolored carpet in shame. A light blush came to his cheeks. "I... I'd rather not say."

"Okay. Well, since Roxas is here... I'd like to... see you interact with him."

Sora raised his eyes to his shrink's. "Why?"

"Too understand what's going on exactly. You know I don't believe you're crazy Sora."

Sora nodded. Mr. Strife was the only one who didn't think he was crazy. "Um... interact... how?"

"How do you two normally act?"

"Uh..." Sora blushed at a thought last night when the two of them were very intimate. "Um... Well..."

"Sora, you don't have to tell him anything." Roxas grumbled, eyeing the blonde shrink with a glare. "He doesn't have to know what we do."

"I know." Sora turned to face Roxas. "But he's trying to help."

"Help? You don't need help. You're perfectly fine." Roxas' eyes met Sora's as the blonde crossed his arms over his chest.

"I am not fine. No one else can see you Roxas!"

"So?" Roxas' face turned red. "What does that matter? You see me! You love me! Isn't that all that matters?"

"Not when I have people calling me insane for talking to you!" Sora snapped, aggravated.

"Sora, please, calm down." Mr. Strife said softly.

"No." Sora got to his feet and turned to Roxas. "All you've done is cause trouble for me. I get picked on and harassed all because of you! I would be so much better off without you! Why are you here? Why can't you just go away? I don't want you here anymore!"

Roxas started at Sora for a few moments, waiting for the brunette to let off some steam. Slowly, emotionlessly, Roxas got to his feet. His pale blue eyes locked with Sora's sky blue ones. His eyes held no emotion whatsoever.

"Is that what you want?" His voice was even, no emotion. "For me to leave?"

"Yes!" Sora snapped.

"Fine. If it'll make you happy." Then Roxas disappeared.

Immediately Sora regretted it. "R-Roxas?" Sora's eyes widened and his heart started to pound in his ears. "Roxas? Where did you go?!" He spun around searching the room for any sign of Roxas.

"Sora. What happened?" Mr. Strife asked, getting to his feet to calm a freaking out brunette.

"He's gone! No! He left! All because of me! I made him leave!" Sora ignored the hot tears streaming down his face. "Roxas! I'm sorry!" He ran out of the room, down the hall and outside. His blurry vision searched for Roxas but he found nothing. "Roxas! I'm sorry!" He screamed into the air before falling to his knees in a sobbing, broken mess.

Later that night, Sora was curled up into a ball in his room. After his freak out, his parents came and brought him home. He hadn't left his room since. He hated himself. The things he said to Roxas... He really didn't want him to leave. He was just aggravated and upset so he took it out on Roxas. And now the blonde was gone. Gone for ever. Sora did not see this as a good thing like his parents did.

Sora's tears were all used up when he slowly got to his feet and shuffled to his dresser. He didn't really feel anything anymore. Roxas was his life, his existence. Sora was numb because it was his fault Roxas left. Sora carefully opened up the drawer and his bloodshot eyes locked on a black velvet box.

His shaking hand wrapped around the box and removed it from the drawer. He shuffled back over to his bed and plopped down onto it. He carefully opened the box to reveal a set of sharp, shiny, old fashioned barber razors. They were a gift from his grandfather, something Sora never saw a use for but was now glad he didn't get rid of them.

His slightly tan hand grabbed onto the handle of the blade and raised it so he could see his own reflection. His eyes held no emotion as he lowered the razor to his wrist and easily cut deep into the skin. Blood started to bubble out as he continued to dig the razor deeper and farther down his arm, following the blue vein.

The razor cluttered to the floor when his door suddenly opened. All Sora heard was his mother scream before he fell into darkness.

When he woke up he was in the hospital, his arm stitched up and a blood bag hanging by his head. Since his sleep was dreamless he wasn't sure what day it was. Both of his arms were tied to the bed. He was on suicide watch.

Since he couldn't really move, it gave Sora a chance to really think about everything.

The fact that no one but him could see Roxas didn't bother him when he was younger. But as he got older he realized it was not normal to talk to someone no one else could see. Let along love this person and make love to them. It wasn't right.

Sora spent three days in that hospital and it was enough time for him to realize there really was something wrong with him. Roxas was just his imagination and now his whole sense of reality was screwed. When he was released from the hospital that day he begged his parents to get him help. Real help. Something more than just a shrink... And so they did.

Present Time

Sora ran his fingers over the long scar going down his left forearm. He remembered how he didn't even feel pain when the blade cut into his skin. He felt nothing than.

Sora was unsure as to what would happen with his life. Anytime he saw blue or yellow, he would snap and try to hurt himself. He just couldn't move on from Roxas. The blonde was burned into his brain. But it had only been six months... Sora still had hope.

Sora was allowed visitors occasionally. Usually his parents. But they would have to meet in a white room and they could not wear colors. White or black. It was so empty...

The door to Sora's room suddenly clicked and he looked up from his spot in the corner. A familiar blonde man stood there, a soft smile on his face. Sora stared at the man as he closed the door behind him and carefully made his way toward Sora.

"Hello Sora. They tell me you're doing a little better. Less attempts at Suicide." Sora's blue eyes followed the man as he sat on the bed, a black folder in his hands. "So, they've allowed me to finally see you. I've been wanting to see you for months now but they thought my blonde hair might set you off."

Sora shook his head at his former shrink. Blonde hair was okay now.

"Good." Mr. Strife smiled at him. "I did a little research for you. I found this out a few months ago but... I couldn't see you." He sighed softly. "Sora, I always told you I never thought you were crazy." Sora nodded at the man. "Well, I still think that."

This really got Sora's attention. He raised his head and tilted it at Mr. Strife.

"After seeing your interaction with Roxas... And hearing things from your parents... I started to think maybe there was more to this than we first thought. You believed so much in Roxas that you even tried to kill yourself because you felt so guilty for hurting him."

Sora nodded.

Mr. Strife opened the black folder and pulled out a piece of paper. "Sora... I'm going to show you a picture. I need you to stay calm and tell me who it is."

Sora nodded once again, unhooking his arms from around his knees. He moved to his knees and crawled a little closer to Mr. Strife. He was curious as to what the man was talking about.


Again, Sora nodded.

"Okay." Mr. Strife raised the picture and slowly turned it around for Sora to see.

Sora froze. His muscles tensed and his heart exploded in his chest. He snatched the picture from Mr. Strife's hands to get a better look at it. It was Roxas. Six year old Roxas. The one he first met. He was hugging a small teddy bear and grinning at the camera.

"H-How..." Sora chocked out.

"I have more."

Sora raised his eyes to the folder in Mr. Strife's lap. The blonde opened the folder and removed a few more pictures. He handed them to Sora who eagerly took them. All of them were of a six year old Roxas. All happy. Sora gritted his teeth, his eyes stinging from unshed tears.

"I don't understand..."

"I did some research about the place you met Roxas. I looked up his name and found something very interesting..."

Sora raised his head, interested in what the man had to say. What he said, was not what he was expecting...

Sora ran as fast as his legs could carry him. It was dark already and the full moon was high in the sky but he didn't care. He just ran. A few days before he had found out the truth about Roxas and it took that long for him to convince everyone he was sane enough to get out of that stupid place. A place he should have never been in, in the first place. Sora was not crazy. Roxas was real. And he had proof.

The playground was deserted but Sora paid no attention to that. He quickly jumped a familiar fence and pushed past a large bush. He came to a halt when the familiar old rusty swing set came into view. His heart stopped at the boy sitting on the swing, his feet barely pushing against the ground. He was moving, but barely. His eyes were locked on the ground and he didn't notice Sora approach.


The blonde's head snapped up to see Sora standing before him. His pale blue eyes widened immensely and he stopped moving. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. In an instant, Sora lunged forward into Roxas, knocking them both back onto the ground.

Sora's arms hugged the blonde tightly, not wanting to let go. "Roxas... My Roxas... I'm so sorry. I never meant what I said... I didn't want you to go away... I was so wrong... oh so wrong... Please forgive me." Sora mumbled while burying his head in Roxas' pale neck.

"S-Sora..." Roxas' arms slowly wrapped around Sora, eloping the brunette in a cool but comforting feeling. "What took you so long? I was about to give up..."

"I'm sorry... I was put away for a while..." Sora moved so they could be in a sitting position but still holding one another.

"Put away?"

"I... I convinced myself I was crazy... That..." Sora bit his lip and burying his head in Roxas' neck. "That you weren't real..."

Roxas' eyes widened a bit and his hold on Sora tightened. "What changed your mind?"

"I found out the truth." Sora pulled back so he could look into Roxas' eyes. He grabbed the blonde's hips and effortlessly lifted him into his lap.

"The truth?"

"About you."

Roxas blinked. "What about me?"

Now Sora blinked. "You... Don't know?"

"Know what?"

"That... You're dead."

Roxas blinked. Than he blinked again. And a third time. "What?"

"Mr. Strife, you remember him right? Well, he did some research and found out... That you were killed when you were six. He found newspaper articles and pictures and even met your family."

"I-I'm dead?"

"A ghost. Or a spirit... I'm not sure... But you're real!" Sora hugged Roxas tightly. "I'm not crazy..."

"H-How? D-Did I die?"

Sora pulled back and searched Roxas' eyes. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes! Of course I want to know!"

"But..." Sora bit his lower lip.

"But what?"

"Well, if I tell you... you might go away..."

Roxas blinked. "I don't... want to go away..."

"I don't want you to either."

Roxas' pale blue eyes searched Sora's sky blue eyes for some time. Both were silent as they just watched each other, seeing emotion in each other's eyes. After a few moments, Roxas sighed softly and leaned forward pressing his lips to Sora's gently. Sora eagerly returned the soft kiss, his lips pressing back.

"Then don't tell me..." Roxas whispered softly, his cool breath flowing across Sora's soft lips.

Sora nodded once, his heart starting to pound in his chest. "Will you... Stay with me Roxas? Forever?" His eyes looked up into Roxas' full of hope.

Roxas bit his lower lip as he saw love reflecting in Sora's eyes. "I... But I'm not... Real Sora."

"You are real." Sora said unwavering. "You're real to me. What I feel for you is real. What you feel for me is real. All of it. No one can convince me otherwise anymore. Even when I thought you were just my imagination... I still loved you. That's why it hurt so much to have you away. You can't leave me Roxas. Ever. No matter what. I need you. I don't care what anyone else says. Whether they can see you or not... I can and that's all that matters. I love you Roxas. I'll never love anyone more than I love you. Believe me. We can make this work if it's what both of us want."

The seriousness in Sora's eyes caught Roxas off guard. Roxas knew he could spend forever with Sora. But was it fair to the brunette? Roxas was dead. He had his time and it was taken from him unexpectedly. He didn't know how or why it was. He just knew it was. It wasn't right for him to take Sora's. But Sora was willing to give Roxas his time. The blonde had no idea what to do... He knew what he wanted to do but he felt it wasn't fair to Sora.

"Sora... It..." He swallowed hard, trying to think straight. His entire existence that he could remember had been spent with Sora. Sora made him smile, made him laugh, made him care. Before that fateful day at the swing set, Roxas was alone and lost. He knew something had happened. No one could see him. He was alone and thought he would be the rest of his life.

But he wasn't. Sora stumbled along and made him feel alive once again. Roxas hadn't really known he was dead. He just knew he wasn't alive. Not unless he was with Sora. It never bothered him that no one but Sora could see him. To him it just meant that Sora was special. That they were special.

If they were not meant to be together... than why was Sora the only person who could see him? It had to be fate. It had to be true. Roxas was going to be selfish and he didn't care what happened. As long as he was with Sora, it didn't matter to him.

"Okay." Roxas smiled softly at his brunette. "I'll stay with you, forever."

A grin spilt across Sora's face and before Roxas knew it he was on his back, Sora hugging him tightly. "I love you Roxas!"

Roxas giggled softly and returned the brunette's hug. "I love you too Sora."

No, I believe that you're not just conjured up. No, I believe cause I feel it when we touch. You make it dry when it's raining outside. You warm my blood when the temperature dies. You're my crutch when it's all too hard to take. See, without you here, I could not be anywhere.

Disclaimer: Song by the Spill Canvas: "Natalie Marie and 1CC" and obviously these characters do NOT belong to me. But this story does.

I wrote this a while ago in about an hour. I was bored, yet again, and feeling pretty down. SO this is the resault. I love this song and you should defintaly check it out.

Please review???

Thank you.