Title: And One That Was Just Right
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, and I do not make any money from these fictions.
Rating: M
Summary: Jim Kirk and the Five Cocks That Were Just Wrong - and the One That Was Just Right!

1. Cupcake aka Moonbeam aka The Beefy Security Dude aka Bob

Jim is down on his knees, sucking Cupcake's cock while thinking about how to convince Bones to go out drinking tonight and calculating some warp-beam equations in his head.

Cupcake's cock doesn't deserve his full attention and dedication, honestly. Jim is just doing it so the man will leave him alone, and because he gets some sick sense of satisfaction from making a guy who punched him - for insinuating that he was gay - come.

Cupcake doesn't even have a nice cock to offset his nasty personality. It is about average, really - the only thing above average about it is the amount of hair, and that is just a turn off for Jim.

So Jim absent-mindedly sucks Cupcake off, and his distracted level of concentration and half-hearted effort is probably better than the guy has had in years, if ever, because it really doesn't take him too long to come.

Jim holds the cum in his mouth, rises gracefully to his feet, and spits it out in the garbage can as he leaves the room, Cupcake's regulations slacks still around his ankles and his hairy cock soft and wet.

That is one experience he will not be repeating.

Cupcake would like that too much.

2. Pavel Chekov

Jim waits until Chekov turns eighteen, and then he gets down on his knees as a "thank you for saving mine and Sulu's lives" present and birthday present combined.

The kid is enthusiastic about the whole thing, of course. Who wouldn't be? Jim has the best lips this side of the galaxy, and he definitely knows how to use them.

Not that he has to, with Chekov. He opens the kid's pants, takes the erection out gently, and he barely gets one good suck on the head before semen is filling his mouth.

Jim swallows, because it's the right thing to do when you're sucking someone that you actually like, and rises to his feet. He tells Chekov "no problem, that was for you" when the kid offers to reciprocate.

He really doesn't want to deal with teeth and virginal fumbling on his sensitive bits.

3. Hikaru Sulu

Sulu lasts longer than Chekov, anyway.

By about two good sucks.

Obviously, they are made for each other. They can have .69 second long 69s together.

However, at least Jim gets to fuck Sulu before he set him up with Chekov - he's not a self-sacrificing bastard all of the time, you know, and he needs to get his rocks off as much as anyone else.

He makes Sulu orgasm again just for the hell of it, though - can't have anyone doubting his sexual prowess.

4. Spock

Okay, pon farr?

Not as much fun as you might think.

Alien-gas-that-makes-Vulcans-really-horny pon farr?

Very little fun involved at all, especially when Jim is locked with Spock in a teeny, tiny cell with no means of escape and no way of protecting himself against Vulcan strength.

So he sucks that green cock until his jaw is sore, all the while slobbering on his own fingers and preparing himself for the inevitable.

Spock coms about six times before he demands Jim's ass, but luckily Scotty gets a lock and beams them up just in time, making the inevitable not-so-inevitable after all.

What is not-so-lucky is the look on Uhura's face when Jim and Spock appear on the transporter pad naked and sweaty and Spock's green cock still in Jim's mouth.

5. Montgomery Scott aka Scotty

Jim sucks Scotty's cock as thanks for saving his ass - quite literally - from Spock's demanding, green, pon farred cock.

Scotty's cock isn't super hairy, he lasts more than three sucks, and he doesn't jam it so far down Jim's throat that he swears it touches his intestines (his throat was sore for days after Spock was done with him...).

However, Jim can see why Scotty throws himself into his engineering and mostly steers clear of the ladies.

His cock is teeny tiny, and Jim probably wouldn't even feel it if he stuck it up his ass.

There's no way a cock that small could ever touch his prostate or give him any sense of real satisfaction, so Jim gives Scotty his thank-you-for-saving-my-ass blow job and then lets Scotty jerk him off to make things even.

Yes, Jim's blow jobs are just that good, that when given in gratitude they often more than repay the favor originally granted.

1. Dr. Leonard McCoy aka Bones

Bones is his best friend, but despite what people might have thought, they were not roommates at the Academy (Jim can see why they thought so, as he was probably in Bones's room more than his own, though not as much as the combined time he spent in various other girls and men's rooms).

So, they weren't roommates at the Academy, and Jim never saw Bones without his clothes on.

Until one day, when Jim is in Bones's room after his shift is over, and he is complaining to Bones about all these sub-par cocksucking experiences, and how he just wants one not-green, not-too-hairy, not-too-small, not-prematurely-ejaculating cock, and "Is that too much to ask for?"

Apparently not, because Bones just drops his pants right then and there, leans back against the desk in his quarters, and barks "Goddammit, Jim, on your knees right fucking now and wrap those pretty cocksucking lips around me right this second. I am going to fuck your mouth with my cock. It's neither green nor hairy, and if you say it's too small I'm going to bend you over this goddamn desk and take you dry - and I promise you that you'll be wishing that I had a problem with premature ejaculation by the time I'm done."

Jim fucking whimpers, because Bones's cock is just - perfect. Long and hard and thick and flushed red with blood and what can Jim do but drop to his knees in worship of it?

Bones's large, strong hands fist in his hair, not pulling, but just letting Jim know that he's there.

Jim knows he's there, but he wants to do more than suck this perfect cock.

So he pulls off with a wet slurp and looks up at Bones with his best fuck-me eyes, and says in a breathy whisper "It's too small."

Bones looks at him blankly for a few seconds - and then he looks offended for all of a moment before he remembers his previous threat. A wicked smirk crosses those lips, and before he knows it Jim is face first across Bones's desk with his pants around his ankles and that cock pressing deliciously into his ass.

And Bones was right - the next day, sitting in the captain's chair, Jim really wishes Bones had a problem with premature ejaculation.

Because he couldn't sit without squirming, and Bones was the CMO, and he would only smirk if Jim came into medbay complaining of discomfort because Bones boned him hard and rough for hours.

Actually, he would probably just do it again to shut Jim up...

"Mr. Spock, you have the conn," Jim declares in his best captain-voice as he heads towards the turbo-lift.


Why, medbay, of course.

He found his Mr. Right - and he wouldn't let Bones's cock escape without a fight.