Reconnecting by Sereko
This story is essentially an extension to the final episode of Sailor Moon. Some of the words are exactly the same as the final scene with Usa/Mamo, but the situation surrounding them is slightly different. I wanted to get into their heads and expound on what was really going on with them after being apart for so long. (Rated T as this gets a bit steamy at the end…)
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
It took them so long to get to this point, so much indecision and insecurity. They had wandered away from the group after the Lights left with their princess. Aimless. Pointless. They had lost their rhythm and ended up walking to the park to try and find it again.
At first, with muscle memory guiding them since their minds were both off in different directions, they found themselves at their bench. Usagi couldn't prevent the involuntary shudder rolling through her once she realized where they were. There were so many memories here. Their first official date had ended up here, leading into the first kiss they had shared without the aid of either their alter egos or past selves. They had had fights, eaten ice cream and shared simple quiet afternoons all in this one spot. It was too much.
Usagi quickly turned and began moving in a new direction. Mamoru, a little shaken at her reaction, followed.
The same memories had careened through his head at the site of their common date spot. It was like his life was coming back to him in one big rush after being gone for so long. He didn't know where he'd been. Once Galaxia had gotten hold of him, he seemed to drift in the place between worlds. He hadn't died in the conventional sense. His soul was sitting pretty in Galaxia's vault, while his body disintegrated into magical dust. His consciousness had wandered around lost, catching bits of the real world amidst a dreamscape of clouds and dark black night. He had sensed her, of course; they weren't soulmates for nothing. But it was only for a few minutes here and there and his mind wasn't able to process what was really going on.
When he was brought back together hovering behind her, it had felt like he'd only been gone for a few brief moments… not the year than it had been. When he'd found out how long they'd all been living without him, he physically reeled from it. A year. An entire year! He had turned wide eyes to Usagi, who just stared back up at him. It was about the only time that her emotions weren't at one extreme or the other from all that the final battle against Chaos had brought forth.
She had just stared at him, not sorry, nor happy. Part of him understood that she was traumatized from the fight and losing all of her closest friends, only to gain them back in the end. Still, he did not expect the lack of compassion from her. It worried him. Especially when he considered the looks and touches she unconsciously shared with that man Seiya.
Had he been gone too long? Had she fallen for someone else? His soul screamed out at the thought, his heart beating hard in his chest.
Before he knew it, she had stopped walking to lean against the railing at a random spot along the path. He was unfamiliar with this part of the park. The land was much higher up from the lake and there were more trees as opposed to gardens. Usagi loved being close to the water and listening to its calming waves and they both enjoyed spending time in the flower gardens, so they rarely came over to this end of the park unless a youma was calling. He glanced down at her in confusion, but her gaze was firmly directed into the distance over the railing.
She had taken them there on purpose. After the bench, they had both automatically migrated to the rose garden. One look at the bright red petals had her heart breaking and she had immediately steered them to the most unfamiliar area she could think of. She wasn't escaping their past; she just needed to focus on the future. She needed to talk to him without the sweet memories of them together clouding her heart.
"Mamo-chan?" she asked innocently, her voice breaking through the silence like a shotgun blast.
The man beside her mumbled back as his thoughts continued to wander down dangerous paths.
"Do you love me?"
The question smacked him in his most vulnerable spot. He sharply turned to her with quizzical eyes and a racing heart. "What's this now?"
Her eyes shined brightly in the light of the full moon. She seemed to pout as she asked again, "Do you love me?"
Was this it? Is this why she had been acting so strangely? She was worried over the very same matters that he was? "Of course," he answered without hesitation.
She averted her eyes. "How do you know?"
"How do I know?" he repeated confused. Of all the things he thought they might've talked about that night, his love for her was not on the list. There was never any question about how much he loved her. Yes, he had accepted admission into a foreign university and had planned on being parted from her for a while. However, if anything, that proved how solid he thought they were as a couple. He knew they could handle the separation. It would be hard to be so far from one another, but it's not like they would have to worry about wandering hearts or wandering eyes. They were linked in a destined love that had skirted death and lasted more years than was conceivable. While they would miss each other terribly, neither would become unfaithful.
Or would they? He supposed that was his greatest fear. He'd been gone an entire year and while he knew Usagi had mourned his absence, she had had a charismatic replacement right alongside her. Seiya.
"Mamo-chan?" his companion asked again, uncertainly.
He looked down at her, taking stock of her features as if memorizing her. "When I'm with you," he found himself answering, "I'm filled with energy," he finished truthfully. She brought out the best in him; that was no secret. When they were together, he was happier, more focused, more compassionate and more loving than ever he was when they were apart. He could feel her goodness shine through him any time she was close. His entire body would heat up and his lips would form a brilliant smile that he couldn't get rid of for ages after she had left. She was a drop of sunshine in every possible way. He knew he wasn't the only one to feel it, either. Anyone she came in contact with could sense the light bursting out of her every pore. She couldn't help it. She was what was good in the world.
He stared into her darkening eyes and wished, not for the first time, that fate had not tested them so harshly. It seemed like anytime they were on the verge of truly being a couple something would come up to tear them apart. They constantly had to prove to each other and the world that they deserved to be together. Star-crossed or not, they were two halves of one whole and no hardship they ever faced would keep them apart.
Usagi watched the thoughts twirling through his mind. His eyes were so expressive when he chose to be unguarded. She could practically hear the conversation he was having with himself loud and clear. 'When I'm with you, I'm filled with energy,' echoed through her mind. She knew he spoke nothing but the truth. At a time like this, when they were so close and their bond was throbbing at their nearness, there was no way he could've lied to her. Or, if he had tried, she would've immediately picked up on it.
She watched as his pupils dilated and his face shifted into pure tenderness. She couldn't help herself; she stood up on her tiptoes, grabbed the front of his shirt for balance, and kissed him. It was short and extremely sweet. She didn't linger overlong as the strength of her calves and her poor balance forced her back to the ground. Mamoru's eyes had brightened at her gesture. She gave him a genuine smile in return. It was their first kiss in almost ten months. God, she had wanted that for so long. She wanted more, too, and she could tell that his desire was increasing as well.
Too bad, she hated to waste his more amorous moments. He was always so playful when he wanted her.
"And what about me?" she asked somberly, thoroughly ruining their mood with her depressed tone. She took a step back to disperse the heat that had risen between them, and turned to look back over the railing. The view was safe; his eyes were not. And they needed to have this conversation. For both their sakes.
"What about you?" he questioned tiredly as if he already knew her thoughts. He looked down at his feet and ran an anxious hand through his hair. This is what he'd been waiting for. He had never feared his love for her abating, but he had feared that hers might have. "I was gone for a long time," he stated coaxingly.
"Yes," she confirmed. "Longer than when you had lost your memories of me," she spoke of his amnesia after their blow-out fight with Beryl, "and even longer than when you listened to those silly dreams and broke up with me," she continued on about the only other solid chunk of time that they hadn't been dating.
Mamoru grimaced at the memories. That all seemed so long ago now. "And this time you had Seiya to keep you company." He did his best not to sound accusatory or biting when he said it, but some things couldn't be helped.
Her blonde odangos nodded slowly. "Yes, Seiya," she breathed.
He watched closely as her eyes automatically went to the skies as if she were still seeing the faint energy trail the star senshi had left behind. There was a tense moment when she seemed to be gathering together the right words for what she wanted to say to him. She looked like a dying fish as her mouth opened and closed several times.
Mamoru decided to help her out. "I know you cared for him, Usako." His voice was understanding, acknowledging the intimate atmosphere he had noticed between his girlfriend, correction fiancée, and the androgynous man.
Usagi clenched her eyes shut as she felt every molecule in her body fill with guilt. "I'm so sorry, Mamo-chan," she apologized. "When I never heard back from you in America, I was worried. I thought something had happened to you," she glanced up at him under her moist eyelashes so that he could see her sincerity. "But eventually, after weeks of not hearing from you, I started to doubt myself. Anytime someone asked me how you were doing, I'd smile and say that you loved America and were really enjoying your classes." She paused when he gave her a concerned look at the knowledge of her charade. She wasn't one to lie, especially to her friends, and even more especially when it was about something important that was weighing on her mind… so Mamoru didn't understand why she would've put up a brave front for her closest friends about his aloofness.
"I thought I was being silly," she answered his unspoken question. "I knew the girls would think I was blowing things out of proportion and making a fuss over nothing. I didn't want to worry them." Her hands convulsively fisted and un-fisted as she remembered that time. It seemed ages ago when her whole world consisted of writing daily letters and obsessively checking the mailbox for replies. "After the second month of silence on your end, I stopped writing letters. I gave up hope that you would ever contact me again. It seemed that college was more amazing than you'd thought it would be and you were too busy with prettier, more intelligent people. That last thing on your mind was a naïve teenager on the other side of the world."
Usagi was shaking her head at the ground. She was immersing herself back in those lonely memories, remembering all too well how abandoned she had felt. It was one of the only times that she'd ever given up a fight.
She felt a touch on her cheek and was startled to realize that Mamoru was suddenly standing directly in front of her again. He wiped away another tear before cupping her face in his hands. His eyes were calm as he gazed down at her. Slowly, sweetly, he leaned in and placed an infinitely tender kiss on her lips.
She had to blink harshly to prevent the flow of a more insistent wave of tears. "I thought I'd lost you," she whispered. They were still standing so closely that her breath wafted against his face. He didn't let go of her or pull back and neither did she. He placed a bolstering kiss on her forehead and she continued, "I thought I'd lost you for real. Not from a fight or dying from some accident. We've conquered death many times. No, I thought I'd lost you in the only way that mattered. I thought you'd stopped loving me." Her voice was whisper thin by the end of her explanation.
"You'd think I'd be prepared for that. You stopped loving me once before," she chuckled mirthlessly. Mamoru didn't join in. Instead he let his hands slip down her neck and around her shoulders. He took another half step closer and cradled her to him. His cheek rubbed the top of her head consolingly.
"When I met Seiya, he was a distraction. I wasn't attracted to him like every other screaming teeny-bopper fan. I was still mourning you and no other guys were on my radar." She smirked mostly to herself since Mamoru couldn't see it. "He, of course, liked that I didn't fall all over him and insistently tried to take me out on a date. I resisted for a long time, but eventually he wore me down. You were a million miles away, after all, and here was this guy that kinda looked like you who wanted to spend time with me." She settled further into his warmth. Say what you would about his ugly, green jacket, but the thing was comfortable as hell.
Usagi lost herself for a while, enjoying her closeness with the man she thought she'd never see again. Despite what everyone thought, their future wasn't set in stone and she wanted to enjoy what she could before he decided to leave her after hearing about Seiya.
Damn that man. He had tempted and teased her to the breaking point. But he had also drawn her out of her depression and showed her how to live again. No matter the problems their close friendship had caused, it was worth it. "He was good to me. He was good to me and I fell for him, maybe just a little." The admission hurt both of them.
"I know," Mamoru breathed back.
Usagi burrowed further into his embrace, both looking for comfort and hiding from him with the gesture. "I'm so sorry!" she burst out. Her companion was startled to hear her voice broken with sobs. He pulled away from her only enough so that he could see her wet eyes.
"Usa," he called sadly, cradling her face in his hands. She looked up at him like a lost child who suddenly realized that nothing around her was familiar.
"I'm so sorry," she said again as the tears continued down her cheeks. No matter what he said to console her, she would always feel guilty for essentially having cheated on him. "I'm sorry that I didn't have more faith in you! That I didn't think you were coming back!"
Mamoru had had enough. He roughly pulled the blonde away from him again, gripping tightly to her upper arms. "Stop it!" he said with a little shake. She was startled into silence at his aggression. "Stop apologizing! I don't blame you for anything. I understand. I do!" he yelled when she began to shake her head. "Damn it, Usa! I may be jealous as hell that that man was so close to you for so long - that for a time he filled my position as your protector… as your boyfriend," he bit the term out, "And it may hurt to imagine your confidence in me, in my love for you, waning, but it's not like you did it without very good reason. There was a lot going on and you needed someone to rely on. You needed to have Seiya in your life." His anger had faded and now he was rubbing her arms up and down to relieve the ache from where he had grabbed her.
"Mamo-chan…" she whimpered.
He answered her call, stepping closer to her and reaching out with one hand to cup her cheek. She let her hands slide from his waist, up his chest and around his neck. "I love you, Tsukino Usagi… Usako. I always will, no matter what."
She gazed up at the eyes boring into hers and could see his forgiveness there. Whether it was silly or not, that's what she had waited for. Her conscience had been eating her alive ever since the first day she felt herself falling for Seiya. She had needed Mamoru to ease her guilt and assure her that her brief affair wouldn't haunt their future. "I love you, Chiba Mamoru. My Mamo-chan."
They began to gravitate towards each other again. It was inevitable. Two souls torn apart as theirs were, it was impossible to resist the urge to reconnect in as many ways as possible. She had kissed him before, and then he had kissed her. It was time that they kissed each other.
They followed each other's eyes until they were too close to focus and then let their bodies guide them the rest of the way. Mamoru slid his hand more securely behind her ear and entrenched it in her hair the moment their lips met. Electricity shot through them. He paused for a brief moment, savoring the feel of her. Gods, he had missed this. Even if his mind only thought he'd been away for a few days, his heart had felt the full separation. It had yearned for her for too long.
Usagi was the one to move first, too impatient to let him absorb the moment any longer. She pulled at the back of his neck and slanted slightly to the right so that their lips fused fully together. A deep rumble sounded from the back of his throat in response.
She was sweet. He didn't know how he had forgotten that, but her flavor was slamming into him full-force now. It was an organic sweet – not like sugar, but richer like vanilla. He could drink from her mouth all day. He dipped his tongue into the curve of her cheek to get a better taste.
Usagi responded by twisting his tongue with hers and catching the taste of him as it mingled with hers. She began a duel they both new very well and had both missed participating in over the past year.
When was the last time they kissed? Usagi's ardor cooled a little as the question occupied her mind. She moved out of their deep embrace to place slow but meaningful pecks on his lips…chin…jaw…neck. She supposed their last kiss was when they were saying goodbye in the airport. It almost didn't count, though, since she had been crying and shaking with anxiety. She hadn't been able to enjoy that last peck, as chaste as it was, and she didn't think he had been too focused on it either.
Her mind flittered back to present day when she felt his fingers slip down to the nape of her neck. He began to knead the taught muscle there and she lost focus in the middle of kissing his collarbone. Her neck was one of her most sensitive spots, particularly at the base of her skull where her hairline faded. She was almost always guaranteed to melt when she was touched there – which Mamoru knew, as evidenced by the fact that he wrapped a strong arm around her lower back mere seconds before her knees gave out on her.
He leaned down so that his lips brushed her ear and whispered, "Some things never change." Usagi could feel his smile as he said the words.
"No," she admitted slowly as some of the starch returned to her legs. Then, with quiet precision, she returned to her task of kissing his collarbone. She let her tongue slip into the hollow under the raised bone and then sucked lightly on his skin. She smiled knowingly when he gasped. "Some things never change," she repeated.
He lifted her upwards suddenly, mashing their mouths together as his desire consumed him. She squealed at his ardor, but was quickly overcome. They went from slow and sensual to fast and hot just like that.
His lips devoured her, never letting her catch her breath. His teeth caught her lower lip as he sucked it into his mouth. She gasped and clutched at his shoulders for support. Passion was rioting through her veins. He'd opened the door and now there was no going back. They wouldn't be able to stop until they burned themselves up.
Usagi tried to keep up with him, but his desperation was impressive. Eventually she let herself fall victim to sensation and just let him overwhelm her. Every touch of his lips, every slide of his tongue, every nip of those perfect white teeth sent shivers down her spine.
He kissed her hard, then soft, then hard again until her body was shaking in anticipation of his next move. Her nerves were on overdrive and every part of her was highly sensitized to each of his touches.
She clutched at the back of his head frantically as he trailed kisses down her neck. Her breath came out in heady pants. Her leg had curled around him some time ago and with their bodies pressed so tightly together, she was one second away from dry humping him in public. With that realization, Usagi forced herself to get control again. It was hard, especially when his lips claimed hers once more and their tongues began to dance. In time, she was able to pull him far enough away to speak.
"Mamo-chan," she gasped, letting him dip in for another brief kiss. "We," she tried again and managed to keep him at bay this time, "can't do this here." He ignored her and since she wouldn't let him kiss her mouth, he slipped a hand into her collar and moved her uniform aside so that he could kiss the juncture of her neck and shoulder. His tongue swept out so that he could get another exhilarating taste of vanilla and he let his lips settle to suck at her pulse point. He felt her shudder in satisfaction. "Oh God," she breathed and her leg flexed around him.
"No, no." She broke away and patted his chest to keep him back. "Room. Private." She took another step back and couldn't help but smile when he mewled in protest. As his arms chased her, she danced out of the way and threw him a devilish grin. "Bed," she said with enough emphasis that he froze.
The fire in his eyes became an inferno. "Bed," he repeated hotly. He grabbed her hand and ran with her back to the car.
Hope you all enjoyed this quick, little one-shot! For those of you who follow my other story 'So Hard to Find', don't worry, I'm working hard on the next chapter of that! I just needed to focus on life for a while and wrote this one-shot to get me back into the flow of Usa/Mamo.