Disclaimer: Don't own Bones. Sadly.
He'd only taken two bites of his mac and cheese before she couldn't hold back the words anymore.
"You've been lying to me for months." The accusation slashed through the air and hit him with all the impact of a perfectly aimed bullet.
"What?" His spoon clattered on his plate as the words reverberated in the silence. Booth felt all the air leave his lungs and when Brennan looked at her partner and saw him go pale she knew she was right.
"For months," she hissed, gathering the anger around her and pushing off the table. "No secrets between us, right, Booth?" She could practically taste the bitterness as she hurled accusations at him. "You are supposed to be my partner, you are supposed to trust me, you are supposed to be the one person who would never lie to me."
Booth also got up from the table and faced her, almost helpless in the face of her anger. Because she was right, so right. He'd lied, there were secrets between them, one BIG one, in fact, which he was terrified to confess. And so he had been living a lie for months, pushing her away in sheer self-preservation, even as he needed her closer.
"You said you'd never betray me," Brennan whispered and although she was trying to hold on to the anger, the hurt and confusion were starting to punch through.
"And I never will," he swore, taking a step toward her.
"Then what do you call months of lying, Booth?" She could feel her voice rising as she suddenly fluctuated back to anger at the way he was oozing sincerity with those damn brown eyes of his. But she wasn't going to fall victim to those eyes, so she took a step in his direction and poked him violently in the chest. "What did you think? That I'm so clueless about people, so horrible at picking up external cues that I wouldn't notice you've been keeping something from me?" Her finger drilled into him as her anger escalated. "You have got five minutes to explain yourself, or I swear to god, Booth, I …"
"Bones," he interrupted, grabbing her poking finger before she could tear a hole into him. "It's not that simple, Bones."
"Yes, it is," she insisted, trying to pull her finger away, but he only gripped tighter. "You told me there were no secrets between us but there are. Something's different, you are different and I don't want to be lied to anymore."
"Bones …" he pleaded, trying to maintain some self-control because he could feel everything he had tried to restrain over the past few months, hell, the past few years, bubble up in a desperate attempt to spill over.
"Do you want a different partner?" Her words punched him in the stomach, sparking a dangerous combination of anger and fear he could not control.
"Is that a threat?" Booth growled, tightening his hand on the finger he still had imprisoned.
"What? No, I'm just wondering whether you even want to be my partner anymore." Her voice accusatory when she said, "This is the first time you've agreed to dinner in weeks, you don't pass by for lunch, you barely even look at me, it's like suddenly you can't even stand to be around me. What the hell's going on?"
"Of course I want to be your partner," he immediately responded. "There's nothing wrong, I've just been …" He tried to deflect just like he had been for weeks, but she was done taking it.
"No!" It was her turn to growl, "Don't you dare lie to me or I will go to Cullen and demand a new partner, Booth, and that's not a threat."
"It sure as hell sounds like a threat, Bones," he practically snarled. Releasing her finger, he gripped her wrists in his hands and jerked her against him. "Sometimes we need secrets."
"Not between us," she replied immediately, even though his actions shocked her.
"No?" His eyes burned her and his words left her breathless. "You just need to know every damn thing, don't you?" He leaned so close to her face, she could feel his breath on her lips. "What's going on, Bones, is that you are right, I can barely stand to be around you." Unable to help himself, Booth delicately traced her bottom lip with his tongue. "I can't stand to be around you anymore without touching you, without needing you, without imagining that you are mine."
"Because I know, I know, it was just a dream, Bones, but oh damn, every time I close my eyes I can feel you, I can smell you, I can fucking taste you ." He ran his lips over her stunned faced, closing his eyes and breathing her in. "And I want it to be real, I've wanted it so damn badly and for so long that now it's all I can think about. So yeah, I guess you could say I've been keeping secrets. So many goddamn secrets, Bones, and all revolving around you and all the things I want to do to you. "
Opening his eyes, he looked at her; she looked frozen in place and he couldn't read a single emotion on her face. "Yeah, I've been keeping secrets," he repeated softly. "But not anymore, right?"
Letting go of her wrists, he took a step back and his throat closed up at the blank look on her face. Booth knew he had to get out of here before he lost it; before she devastated him with her cool logic and rationality.
"Next time, you better be sure you want to know the answers before you ask the questions, Bones."
He walked out, knowing he would have to deal with the consequences tomorrow, but tonight he was going straight home to his best bottle of scotch.