(A/N: Fuck homework. And online poker. And getting really good reviews for dumb terrible fan fictions.)

(A/N part 2: And that's when sf realized she'd been writing this dumb terrible story for over a year. That's how much of a slacker she is.)

After debriefing, we didn't go to the battlefield. It wasn't an option, according to Joe. Well, obviously I was still willing to fight, but Sam was pretty tense. Like, more than usual.

So for his sake, we stayed out of the fight. Maybe it was for mine a little too, because fighting probably wasn't a good idea in my state. But mostly, Sam is a pussy.

Brief summary of my physical condition: sore, bruised all over, very sore, right eye swollen shut, really fucking sore. My left wrist wouldn't move at all and my right ankle wasn't feeling fantastic either.

But it turned out staying off the battlefield was a good decision. We ran off to the woods, although my running was more like a weird sort of limpy gallop at this point.

Joe and Sam helped me navigate the forest, which was way darker and blurrier than forests are supposed to be. I'm pretty sure we ran into someone there…yes, it was a gypsy lady or something. It was some old woman with a wagon full of stuff. I couldn't see much of her, but I could hear her beads and jewelry jingling.

Now, my memory's a little fuzzy here. I think Joan must've knocked my head pretty hard.

I can only assume this gypsy lady had the book, because after that, we went home.

So, yes, the gypsy must have had the book. Which was fortunate, because I don't know how much more adventure I could've handled. I'm pretty sure I passed out at some point mid-warp.

Anyway, next thing I remember after that green smoke cleared, I was sitting on Joe's bed and Sam was sitting beside me, holding a cold compress to my face. Remembering our uncomfortable situation back in the barn, I tried pull away from him. It hurt to move so fast, so I stopped.

"It's alright, Fred." He spoke softly; like he was afraid loud noise would hurt me. And it might have, actually, because I had a killer headache. He gently stroked the back of my neck with his other hand. Where was Joe? I didn't want him to see this.

I looked up at Sam and he made this really strange face at me that was really sort of cute. You know, in the weird, faggy kind of way. If I hadn't been so mixed-up, I would've probably made fun of him.

Or, well…maybe I wouldn't have. It's hard to say. Anyway, I didn't move from his arms. I couldn't have if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. His fingers on the back of my neck made me shiver. (I hoped he didn't notice. Shit, of course he noticed.)

Suddenly, I lurched out of my trance and abruptly connected our lips.

Sam seemed surprised, but he didn't pull away. Actually, he kissed back without hesitation. He let out a cute sort of whimper that turned into a happy sigh. It was all too obvious that I was his first kiss. My mouth smirked against his and I reached up to touch his face with my undamaged hand, holding myself up with the sore one.

He gave a pleasant tremble as my hand moved to his chest.

Then we both froze at the sound of footsteps outside the door.

Sam jumped away from me, redder than I'd ever seen him. Joe entered not a second later with a glass of water and a first-aid kit. He looked at Sam, who was blushing furiously, and then at me. Okay, so I was probably blushing, too. He didn't say anything, but I'm sure he was suspicious.

I stood up. "Uh, I really don't think all this is necessary. I'm fine." Joe chuckled. "Oh yeah? Have you seen yourself lately?"

"Um, no?"

"Let me tell you, dude, you look like shit." He handed me a pill and the water glass.


Not long after, Sam suggested that we leave and walk back to his house together, which could only mean one thing: he wanted to have a 'talk'. I didn't especially want to discuss my feelings or our weird confusing relationship, but I went with him anyway, because Joe insisted.

"No, really, I think Sam's right, you guys should go. You've been fighting a lot; you should go work things out."

My mind was elsewhere at the time, but now that I think about it, Joe probably knew that something else was going on. Maybe he was okay with that something else going on or even wanted to encourage it? Maybe he and Sam had a huge serious bro-talk while I was out cold, and Sam genuinely wanted to fix things, if they were even broken. I'll ask Sam about it later, I guess.

Joe pushed us out the door in a bit of a hurry, saying something about how his dad would be home soon. Sam and I exchanged a look on the porch, and we walked off towards my house in silence. We made it a good four blocks before Sam tried to begin the inevitable mushy bromantic heart-to-heart with a hesitant "Can, uh, can we…talk?"


Clearly he was expecting me to start the discussion, which was funny, because he was initiating it. So I didn't say anything, I just watched him squirm for a while. And squirm he did.

"Uh, I was just thinking, maybe we should, you know, talk about…that thing that happened."

I kept walking. "What about it?" I didn't look back at him. I wasn't just uncomfortable. I was REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. But the fact that he seemed more uncomfortable kind of made me feel better.

"Uh, I just…I think this…event kind of puts our, uh, friendship in question."

He was worried about our friendship? I could have laughed out loud. But he went on.

"Actually, it kind of puts some other things in question, too…"

Here's where I said something stupid.

"Sam, look, I'm not gay."

I didn't even turn around or stop walking or anything.

"Okay." Sam replied with a snicker, moving forward so he was now walking even with me. "I suppose those moments we shared were merely spontaneous hormone-induced awareness lapses, right?"

"Uh…" Yikes. Suddenly the tables had turned, and now I was the awkward one. I could practically feel myself blushing. Damn.

"That's what I thought."

He stopped walking and opened the door for me. I was confused for a moment.

Oh. We were at his house. I'd been keeping my eyes on my feet the whole time.

(A/N: I honestly forgot where this story was going. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SEXYTIMES? So if you have any suggestions on what should happen next, leave a review. Actually, leave a review anyway. THANKS.)