As much as I wish i did, I do not own TMoHS or anything to do with it..Simples.

Tame Shiru Ma Funou Ware Ai ?

Chapter 1: Snowdrop

It has been a while, Yuki...My snowdrop.

Remember? That's what I used to call you when we were just small children, on that dreadful place we once called home.

We once had snow, falling from the heavens themselves, a gift from the gods! In fact!

That's when you picked your name..Remember.

Yuki Means Snow!..But it also means Lucky...So lucky to have people that love you.

I, love you.

You are everything in this world which matters.

We used to do everything together.

Play together.

Sing together.

Laugh, together..

But you chose a different path to me..You chose the academic route..I chose to serve my duties in a physical manner.

I just wish....

I Just wish.....

You had stayed with me...

They changed you...They made you bland and unimpressionable.

You forgot I ever existed.

The pain I went through, even as a humanoid, was life shattering.

I loved you, like a man loves a woman....back then...

I wanted to be with you forever...

But they wouldn't allow it.

And now, I realised why...Its disgusting..Its sickening..Women cannot love other women..

Its not right...

I don't believe that I loved you anymore..I don't believe it!

I cannot believe it!

Im stronger than the rest..I do things which they cannot do..

I defy the meaning of the word "Impossible"

I defy everyone!

I will not tolerate any forms of disrespect!

But..I have special plans for you...Yuki...

My little snowdrop....

--- Chapter 1

My head was in agony.

I awoke in my home, on my bed.

The amber sunlight spreading itself further into my room.

The steam from the fresh cup of tea blowing under my nose got me out of my bed.

I felt pain inside of my head, worse than a migraine.

My head must of hit the floor hard or something...I really cant remember..

It was heart stopping.

Seeing her again..After all those years.

But why now?..Why, at this moment, did she come to see me?

I sat out of bed, and decided I needed to change my clothes, id been in the same ones for nearly a whole day.

I stumbled over to my dresser, and pulled out some new underwear, some socks, a new shirt, and some pyjama shorts.

I Slipped off my shirt, and then looked at myself in the mirror.

I was very self conscious. I'm not afraid to admit it. I used to look at my stomach, and my chest, fussing over the tiniest imperfections I may of picked up.

Although I knew looks did not make the woman, the woman can change her looks.

I became frustrated that girls even younger than me, looked so much more womanly.

Its nothing but a small blot on an otherwise amazing life.

But I like sharing, even if you don't really need to know.

I put on my clothes and my slippers as I left the room.

And cautiously entered the corridor.

I could hear laughing and giggling in the next room.

I could hear running, and playing, and even faint singing.

It seems like...She has already made friends with them..

I walked over to the door and stroked the doorknob gently.

I didn't know what to think about her, why she was here...She doesn't even know that I'm back to how I was..Back to being able to laugh, and play...And love..

I opened the door, slowly. With the cup of tea in my hand.

Kyon was sitting talking to Haruhi.

Asahina was talking to Her, Her scared look seemed to have disappeared.

I wonder why she was so scared...

Everyone turned to me, with surprised looks on they're faces.

Haruhi jumped up from her chair and ran over to me, noticing the surprised look on my face.

I still remembered, I had to be my old self in front of her..

"Are you feeling better now?"

I gave her a quick, polite nod before walking past her, and sitting on the sofa whilst picking up a book.

The next person to greet me was Kyon.

He sat next to me, and ran his fingers through mine.

"Its so good to see you awa-"

He saw the look on my face as I turned my head to the side and whispered.

"Haruhi cannot know.."

He gave a brief sigh and nodded, accepting the harsh truth.

I sat back, watching everyone playing and enjoying themselves.

It seemed like I always missed out on the fun.

But..repeating summer thousands of times..Sort of..Voids my argument.

I stood up numerous times to make trips back and forth to the bathroom, each time I stood up, everyone looked at me. They must be worried about me..I did faint, after all.

I exited the bathroom, waving my hands after washing them.

And in front of me.

Long, black hair and a north high uniform.

"Its been..A while..Yuki.."

My legs began to struggle to keep me up, I could feel my heart begin to race.

"It..Has...Why did you come here?.."

She took a seat at my bedside and crossed her legs, undoing her sleeve cuffs.

"I remembered you..I remembered what things used to be like.."

My legs became stronger, my heart became steadier..

"My home is here now..I cannot leave my friends.."

She giggled under her breath giving me a hearty smile. The smile which almost surpassed Kyon's.

"I know..That's why I have been assigned a mission..Here...With you.."

I took a seat next to her, keeping my head down as I sat.

"With me?...So...Your the one who was sent after the incident after Ryoko attacked me.."

She nodded, and stood up, stretching her arms in the air.

"Truth be told, You really did one on Ryoko..Why didn't you just delete her?.."

I put my book on my pillow, looking at the cover.

"You need to listen to me...I've been upgraded, I remember everything we did, all the things we did, some of them were the happiest days of my life, some of them I regret, of course I do, I was small and insignificant back then! But now, I have my duties to fulfil, I have to record and understand humanity, I need to experience it! And I sorry, but I simply cannot do that with you here.."

She was stunned beyond belief, so much in fact, she dropped on the ground knees first...And buried her face in her hands.

After a few seconds, she brought her face out of her hands. And gazed at me.

"It, really is you..Isn't it Yuki..After all these years, these cruel harsh years..Your back to the girl-..The woman I always knew.."

She stood up, with a beaming smile on her face.

"I understand you are in love, don't worry about it, the past stays in the past..and it shall lay dead, were it belongs.."

She carried on speaking complete nonsense for around 2 minutes..

Those words..She said about the past staying I the past..Were music to my ears, the fact that everything in my past..Was to stay there, with no threat of throwing my life into complete turmoil..

"-and that's why..I enrolled in north high..To be with you around the clock!"

I smiled at her...albeit with a hint of nervousness..I did not forget what she did, I did not forget what she really wanted..

I could hear the door opening and closing every few seconds.

Sounds like people were finally leaving my home..without even saying goodbye to me..

"Well..I wont argue against you..You can help me if you really want..If I argued I wouldn't stand a chance in a fight..I sure those years of fighting really made you invincible.."

She giggled like a school child into her elbow.

"Well, Yuki, Ryoko was my sparring partner for 21 years..I didn't lose once..What does hat tell you?"

I smiled back at her...Could she really of changed..?

"That your a cocky, little child.."

Truth be told, I did not trust her in the slightest, but now is not the time to tell you about our past, about what we did. It is simply not right..But she is a sinister person..She manipulates people, she changes people. I hid behind a mask of deceit, I knew what she was capable of, but I didn't want to show my hand anytime soon..It was far too risky.

After everyone left, my phone 'beeped' 3 times, I had received a text message, from Kyon no doubt.

She stood before me, as she always did.

"I really am glad to be with you, My little snowdrop.."

That name brought back so many memories, so many happy childhood memories, of running, playing, laughing.

Those days were long gone, long gone.

I was "Born" 3 years ago as "Nagato Yuki" that was the name I chose.

The name she chose, was rather different..

I thinks now is the right time, to give you a mental image of what she looked like, after all, you are reading this..from my journal...hopefully...I have dedicated an entire page explaining her to you...every last detail.

Her name..Was..

"Kaede Tsukiko" Pronounced "Kai-ay-dee"(Kyaydee) "Soo-Kee-Ko"(Sukeeko).. (Kaede Means "Maple" In Japanese, And Tsukiko roughly means Moon child, Or child of the moon"

Aged: 17 (Real Age 2 Years)

Gender: Female (Humanoid)

Eye colour: Emerald Green.

Talents: Amazing athletic prowess, strong willed and has the desire to never give up.

Birthday: 27th November.

Favourite food: Egg rolls.

Least Favourite food: Fish of any kind.

Personality: Happy and bubbly, but she also has a serious side, caring for her friends..But, Keade also possesses a harsher, crueler side..


Has a tendency to tilt her head when confused, and always walks with her hands held infront of her lower stomach.

Roughly the same build as me, or Miss Suzumiya.

She had the same facial structure and eye shape of Ryoko Asakura.

She was a fair 5" 8 And weighed around 11 Stone.

Her hair flowed down to her ankles, identical to Tsuruya, except it was the darkest shade of black.

Now dress her in a north high uniform, and you have one "Kaede Tsukiko"

Now, I hope you can amass an image or her, now give her the same Voice as Miss Suzumiya..And your done.

She turned from me, and walked over to my dressing table.

"Keade Tsukiko...Its been years since I've said those words.."

She tilted over the desk, lifting out the "Makeup" I bought from the kind man at the pharmacy.

"I never took you for the type to wear this kinda stuff..Its supposed to be bad for your skin.."

I smiled at her from behind. The suns glow focussing its amber brilliance on Keade.

"You..have changed.."

I whispered it as low as I could, but it did not completely avoid her ears.

"Huh? Did you say something Yuki?"

I jumped back onto my bed in shock!

"What?!...No of course not!"

I felt my pain going away, from my head...Whenever she was around..

I didn't really care about the past, its the present that matters.

Nothing else.

As I'm sat writing this.

I need you to know..We have not scratched the surface of Keade Tsukiko.

More promptly, was our childhood...And what happened in it.

I leaned over my bed and flipped open my phone to read the message a received earlier.

As I guessed, it was from non other than Kyon.

"I need to talk with you really soon, I didn't get that much of a chance today"

I smiled and replied telling him we would speak soon.

"That boy, Kyon?..If that's his name..Seems right for you, Yuki.."

I closed my phone, revealing a slightly confused look.

"Don't worry don't worry, I know about Haruhi and everything, I'm sure..something will happen, and everything will b-"

She saw the look on my face..I had barely woken up and regained consciousness...She knew I didn't need that.


She was still toiling with her face infront of the mirror.

"What are you doing?"

She turned to me, revealing a perfect eye, covered with mascara, elegantly flowing from one side to the other, ending with a light flick.

"Wow..You must have done this before.."

She smiled and nodded with a childish smile before turning round and continuing with her work.

It was about this time I went for a walk, tidying the house, and like any other day, today was no exception, I walked with a slow elaborate pace towards the door frame, pulling my way around it, hearing the tunes Keade was humming to herself fainter and fainter as I passed down the wooden corridor.

I walked into the living room, collecting the cups of half drunk tea and apple cores.

For friends, they really need to learn to keep they're hosts house neat and tidy.

I tidied for around 10 minutes, fluffing cushions, reorganizing magazines and polishing the table in the middle.

I took a big sigh of relief when the work was done, and flopped back onto the sofa, ruining my perfect cushions.

I closed my eyes, breathing heavily from the effort I exerted in cleaning this place up.

I tilted my head to the side, opening my eyes and I took in the light from the city.

The bustling streets, car horns, shouting pedestrians, shopping vendors broadcasting they're produce.

It showed how busy humans could be.

It sort of made me sad..Here I was, an "Ambassador" of sorts for my race.

And I was simply lying on my sofa complaining about period pains.

It was a bit lousy of me.

Just lounging around, letting the days of my life flutter past my heads without the slightest hint of regret.

No more!

Now, comes the end of this chapter.

But let me warn you..My life did really heat up..Almost to the point were I...

Lets just be glad, the happy chapter is over, I have introduced you to Keade, and who she is.

You don't know the half of it.


Hey guys, im back earlier than usual, giving you the "Intro" chapter, which I think sets this up quite nicely..but I do need to warn you, this story will go deep, and I mean "Deep" deep. Issues of personal morality, questionable conduct, and one hell of an ending. And I have to stress, that if you have not thoroughly read my last story "Yuki Nagato's Emotions" you best read it, as I will be referring to it quite a lot during this entire story. I find it hard to get my point across here, in words anyway, ill put it simply..I am NOT mincing my words with this story, if I need to talk about periods, relationships, sex, body parts, whatever..Im just gonna say it. I think my last story suffered a tiny bit because I held back what I truly wanted to write, which isnt the point of fanfiction in the slightest.

Please review, and +Author/Story Alert.

The 1-3 day Update will go on, but chapter length will always be around this length.

Last bit of info here, I originally planned this story to bear an 'M' rating, but I trust my audience enough to be mature with what I write. =3

Feel free to PM me with any questions.

Till Next Chapter