First Letter

May 4th 1998, Grimmauld Place

Dear Draco,

Wow, that's the first time I have ever used your name. But I kind of like it, so if you don't mind, I'll continue to use it. Of course, if you did mind, you couldn't object. You can't really do anything right now for that matter. You just lie still in your bed at St. Mungo's. So far nobody can really tell how much of the battle you will remember, when you wake up. Or if you are ever going to wake up. Oh Merlin, now I'm tearing up. God.

I'm not completely sure why I'm writing you this. Especially since you can't even read it. Perhaps I'm just sad that there are so many things I really wanted to tell you, but just never got the chance to say. You can't even begin to imagine how many times I have started writing a letter similar to this, to tell you how I really feel about you. I must have started at least 20 letters during the last couple of years, but I always chickened out before posting them. And now I fear that it's too late. But I'll still write this letter and it will still be posted and sent to the hospital, so if you do wake up you'll know everything.

Before I start with me, I want to tell you what happened during the battle, in case you won't be able to remember. I might not be the first to tell you this someone else could very possibly have told you about the battle before giving you this letter. But I am the only one who can tell you exactly what happened since I was there with you. From now on I'm going to be positive and write this letter as if it is for certain that you'll wake up. Okay, where to begin?

Well, Harry, Ron and I arrived not long before the battle started through a secret portal between Hog's Head and the Room of Requirement. I guess you didn't know about that one. I'm sorry but I can't tell you how or when you arrived, I was pretty preoccupied with finding the last Horcrux. I didn't see you till you, Crabbe and Goyle found Harry, Ron and I as we were searching for the Horcrux in the Room of Requirement. You three had gotten orders not to kill Harry, but Crabbe and Goyle weren't happy with that plan. But you saved us, Draco, and I respect you for that. It can't have been easy for you. But it was what happened next that put you in the coma. When we were in the Room, Crabbe cast a Fiendfyre that he simply couldn't control. It killed him and nearly killed all the rest of us. Luckily there were two broomsticks in the Room and Ron and I carried out Goyle while Harry rescued you. You may not like him, but he's the reason you're still alive, even though it was just barely. But the coma happened already as you were flying out. You see, you had breathed a lot of smoke before Harry got to you. You were barely conscious and somewhere along the flight you passed out and haven't woken up since. The healers at St. Mungo's believe that there was something poisonous in the smoke, and therefore your coma isn't just a normal head trauma coma, which they of course would have been able to wake you from in an instant. But since the coma is magically produced they have to find the right antidote first, which is going to be difficult since they don't know what kind of poison caused the trauma because the Room of Requirement is burned down.

The healers are really struggling to get you back, and since you have only been in the Hospital since yesterday they are still optimistic. I have visited you once, but I left because your mother was sitting with you. I didn't want to impose, especially not since your mother doesn't like me. She looked so broken down that I wish I could just put my arms around her and make all her troubles go away. But that would be the fairytale version, and that's not a version I'm interested in telling. Instead I just watched you from the door. You looked so peaceful and it was hard to believe that you weren't just sleeping.

I'm staying with Harry at Grimmauld Place. I can't stand to go back home just yet since the house is all empty. I still haven't picked up my parents in Australia; everything here has been so crazy. First of all there were all the interviews with different magazines. Next up are all the funerals. And now I'm tearing up all over again! It's just so sad. And you don't even know who's dead. Well, you're family is all right, both your mother and your father are safe and neither of them are being prosecuted for being Death Eaters since they changed sides right before Voldemort died. And I guess you didn't know that either. Things are going to be very different in the magical world since Voldemort is dead now. And dead for real. I already told you about Crabbe, but also Professor Snape and your aunt Bellatrix died. Ron and the Weasley's are devastated, they lost Fred. Of course it's hardest on George; Fred was his twin after all. Before your aunt died she managed to kill the Auror Nymphadora Tonks and her husband Remus Lupin, you know him he used to be a DADA teacher, was killed by Antonin Dolohov. Just two months earlier Nymphadora had given birth to a little son named Teddy, so the boy is now an orphan and living here at Grimmauld with Harry and I. Harry is Teddy's Godfather.

I guess there is nothing more I can tell you know, except for what this letter is really about. You see, I have been thinking a lot for the last few years. Well, that's nothing new really. The only new thing is the object of my thoughts; you. I know you have probably never thought of me without wrinkling your nose, but for about two years now I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I have especially been wondering how our lives would be if we weren't enemies. I think we could have been friends. I even think we could have been more than that. Neither Harry nor Ron know anything of these fantasies. Actually you are the only one I have told this to, and that doesn't really count, does it?

I really don't know what the future will bring. How could I, I mean, I'm not Professor Trelawney or a Centaur? I don't even know what I hoped to accomplish with this letter. I don't expect you to wake up, read this and suddenly realize that you also have feelings for me. I just don't want to hide this any longer. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering, what could have happened if I told you.

I hope to be able to visit you more often. I really want to be with you, even if you don't know that I'm there. I want to sit by your side, hold your hand and stroke your hair. Ha, sappy me I know. But the heart wants what the heart wants. I hope that you won't hate me when you read this. I hope that you won't judge me and burn this before thinking it through. But if that's what you want there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. But for now I'm just going to be there for you, no matter what will happen when you wake up.

Yours sincerely


This was probably very stupid of me, to start writing this when I already have another Fan Fiction going. But I got this idea earlier today and I just really wanted it on paper before I forgot it.

Please tell me what you think, and if you think I should continue this story.