And If You Say Goodbye…

Summary: "Have you ever felt like you couldn't live without someone…. Even if you were supposed to let them go?" HARDYCEST!

Disclaimer: Don't own Matt or Jeff Hardy although that would be amazing…

Jeff walked down the stairs and put his last suitcase down. Matt stirred in bed when he heard the thud. He lifted up. He glanced at the clock that read midnight. What was Jeff doing so late?

He lifted up and walked into the living room, where Jeff was putting on his jacket and was about to walk out into the rain.


Jeff jumped at the sudden voice. He sighed when he saw Matt. "You should be asleep…"

"I was. I heard you moving around." Matt looked down at the bags in front of the door. "Where are you going?"

Jeff didn't answer as he went passed Matt and grabbed his cell phone of the table. He went passed Matt again, but this time he was stopped by a gentle hand around his wrist.

"Jeff.." Matt looked into his brother's eyes, "What's going on?"

Jeff yanked his arm free. "Go back to sleep Matt. I'm going away for a while. It's better this way."

"Better? Jeff, I don't understand…"

Jeff opened the door and ran out. No bags. He just ran. Matt ran after him. He finally caught up with him, he grabbed him and pulled him close to his chest.

"Matt…. Stop!"

"Jeff, talk to me! This isn't like you…"

Jeff sank to the wet ground. Matt couldn't tell if raindrops or tears ran down his face. "Matt. I can't… I just want to… be away from you."

"Away from me? What di…" Matt was cut off by a deep kiss. At first his eyes widened, but he slowly closed then and wrapped his arms around his little brother. He deepened the kiss. Their tongues danced as Jeff let out a small moan. He pulled away suddenly.

"That's why I have to leave... I can't ask you for that."

Matt was confused. Had Jeff not felt what he did? "Jeff, I want you to ask me for that... I've wanted to for so long! Why...?"

"Because Matt!" Jeff shook his head, "Have you ever felt like you couldn't live without someone…. Even if you were supposed to let them go?"

Matt gave him a look. Jeff continued: "I'm completely... helplessly... undeniably... in love with you Matt. And I don't know if I like it... I feel so out of control when you look at me... I have to go because I can't stand looking at you everyday knowing that you have so much control over me. I can't look into your eyes knowing that they will never be mine."

The look on Jeff's face was enough to make Matt cry. He pulled him close, and stroked his wet hair. "Hush Jeff..." Jeff tried to pull away but quickly gave up and melted into his older brother's strong arms. Matt lifted him up and carried him back to the house. He pulled his soaked jacket off of him and laid him in the bed.

"But Matt... Your bed..."

Matt put a finger to his lips. "I don't care Jeff..." Matt laid down beside him and pulled him close. "I love you Jeff. Don't leave. Stay with me... forever." Matt pressed his lips to Jeff's. Jeff closed his eyes and prayed that this wasn't another amazing dream. The kiss started to get more passionate. Matt pulled Jeff's wet shirt off of him and threw it to the floor. Jeff would have done the same, but Matt wasn't wearing a shirt to begin with.

Matt climbed on top of Jeff, and moved his kisses down to his neck. "Matt..." Jeff closed his eyes and ran his hands down his brother's muscular back. Matt slid his hand down Jeff's chest and slipped it into his jeans. Jeff jumped causing Matt to hesitate. Jeff kissed him softly, and Matt continued. He slowly pulled Jeff's jeans and boxers off of him, but the paused to hold Jeff in a tight embrace.

"Jeff. I love you... please... don't leave." Jeff returned his hug and stroked his dark, damp hair. "I love you too Matt... I'm sorry..."

Matt captured his brother's lips in another kiss. Matt moved his hand down to Jeff's entrance and slowly inserted one finger. Jeff squirmed under him as Matt moved his hand back and fourth into him. Jeff let out a soft moaned as Matt pushed another finger in. "Oh Matt...." He pumped his hand for a while before placing himself at the younger man's entrance.

"Are you ready?" He whispered softly. Jeff closed his eyes and nodded. Matt sunk himself into Jeff, who let out a louder moan. Matt gave him time to get used to the feeling before slowly starting back and fourth. Thier movement became more and more pasionate with every one. Jeff clung to Matt tightly as if if he let him go he would fly away from him. "Oh my god Matt!" Matt kissed Jeff's shoulder as he came closer to him climax. Jeff was doing everything he could to keep himself from coming... He didn't want it to end.

Matt was only able to hold back for a few more thursts. He emptied himself into his younger brother. Jeff tightened him muscles around Matt as he finally let himself climax. Matt fell onto Jeff, who continued to hold him tightly. Matt laced his fingers with one of Jeff's hands and kissed it soflty.

"It's ok." He whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."