Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters. I don't own the quote off of the movie Princess Diaries "The cautious never live, but the brave die young."

A/N – My mother is obsessed with Twilight. Sometimes I can never get her attention so if you can't beat it, join it right?

Chapter 1 – Decisions


"It's just college Bells, I don't see what you're so worried about."

I sighed, was he brain dead? "It's not the school Jacob, it's leaving Forks… leaving you."

His expression dimmed, "Yes, but you need to get a degree, plus you can come home on weekends."

"I know, but I'll miss all the pack stuff."

"Bella," he took my head in his hands and placed his face directly in front of mine. "College is more important," his hands dropped to my shoulders and he looked down, "And after the last pack meet… It's not safe."

"But Paul just lost his temper," I pulled his chin up with my fist, "and you're there to protect me like last time."

"But at what cost," he pulled my left sleeve over my shoulder and ran his finger down the long scar. That night I had been rushed to the hospital, losing a lot of blood. I had told Charlie a stray dog attacked me, and it wasn't far from the truth.

"It's just a scratch," I argued. "It's not like I'm dead."

He glared at me, "Yet." His expression softened into amusement, "I always thought you were just unlucky, but now I'm beginning to think you purposely find ways to endanger your life.

"Well you know what they say, 'the cautious never live.'"

"'But the brave die young'" he finished.

I smiled, "Only the unlucky ones, and you've already established that I'm not unlucky."


"I'm serious Jacob, there's no need for me to go to college; what is a degree going to do for a werewolf's girlfriend?"

"Bella," he repeated in a more serious tone.

"Alright, I'll think about it."

He raised his eye brows and gave me his playfully impatient look.

"Okay fine, I'll go to college, but I won't guarantee I'll stay there long."

"You'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say, you don't have to go."

"Bella, you know exactly why I can't go with you."

"Yes, but I don't know why you are so stubborn about me going."

"It's not just me. Charlie and Renee want you to go too. It's important, and that is reason enough."

"But Jacob…"

"No Bella, I'm not going to let you give up part of your normal life for me."

His words had a greater impact on me than he intended. My eyes filled with tears and I stood up and looked away before he could notice. I had heard similar words before but not from him. 'No,' I told myself. 'I will not think of him, I will never think of him again.'

"Bella?" Jacob said following me to the window I was now staring through.

Crap he noticed!

"What's wrong?" he asked sweetly.

"Nothing," I replied too quickly.

"Bella," he turned me to face him.


"Bells?" the voiced echoed up the hall.

"Charlie's home!" I hissed. I could hear him starting up the stairs, how could I have missed the front door open and close!

Jacob reached for the window, but I shoved him in the direction of my closet. "No time, he'll hear you," I said pushing him as hard as I could.

It was a good thing he obediently moved when I shoved or it would have been like pushing a car with no tires.

"But your closet's too…" the rest of his words were muffled as I jerked the closet door shut.

"Bells?" Charlie repeated as he opened my bedroom door.

"Hey Dad."

"Why is there a motorcycle parked in our driveway?"

I cringed internally, "Oh, uh… Jacob had to leave it here he…"

"You know I don't want you on one of those killers."

"Yes Dad, I know, Jacob just left it for the night, he had a weird situation with Quill driving or something."

Charlie grunted disapprovingly.

"He'll come get it tomorrow," I promised.

"Something's different about him. He's gotten… big."

I smiled to myself, "Well that's usually what happens to teenage boys Dad."

"No really Bells, isn't he younger than you? He's big enough to eat you alive."

I almost burst out laughing, "Quit exaggerating, he's not that big."


I laughed, "Good night Dad."

"Night Bells," He said shutting the door behind him as he left. That was one thing I loved about Charlie, he never over stayed his welcome.

I went to my closet and pulled the door open. To this day I can't figure out how Jacob crammed himself in there. He fell out onto the floor and grabbed his sides trying to stifle his laughter. "Eat you alive?" he managed to say through his chortling fit.

I couldn't help but to smile, "Face it Jacob, you're a beast."

That sent more laughter out of him.

I sat on the bed, "Don't worry the only thing Charlie hates about you is your motorcycles."

He stood up, he had stopped laughing but I could tell if it wasn't for Charlie hearing he wouldn't have been done yet. "By the way Bells… thanks a lot."


"Now I have to walk home."

I laughed, "Run fast."

"Humph," he grunted playfully.

"You'll be fine," I said throwing his own words back at him.

"Easy for you to say," he laughed.

He took me in his arms and kissed my cheek, "Good night," he said letting me go.

"Night," I said as I watched him open my window and jump out.

And he was gone, and then the harsh reality of going to college by myself finally sunk in.

I flopped on my bed and braced myself for another night of dreaming, more like nightmare actually. It became the only place where he could seep into my thoughts, the only place I couldn't take him out of my life.

I kept telling myself I hated dreaming, but if I wanted to be honest with myself it was the best part of my life. There it felt like reality again, and I wished it where real when I awoke. Then life would be so perfect. But then I would remember Jacob, and then I would feel terrible and guilty. How can I still love that 'leach' that… that wonderful amazing… terrible jerk… who is the best thing I've ever known.

I sighed, who was I kidding? I would never find a way to get over… E... Edward.

A/N – Just an opening chapter, much more to come. Please Review.