I want to take a short moment to thank everyone who read, reviewed and/or put this story in their favorites! I really appreciate it and I hope this one doesn't disappoint. Thanks!
"I hate driving when it fucking rains" Phil complained more to himself than to the man who was silently sitting at the passenger seat of his rental car.
He has been driving for quite some time and ever since taking off the rain has never stopped; on the contrary, it increased more and more to a point where he started to believe that the second flood has finally come to America.
He hated it; it made it difficult for him to drive in that condition since his visibility was almost zero. He was sure that if he kept driving like that he was going to end up killing both himself and Jeff…
"I swear there are sharks in this fucking driveway… I should have rented a damn boat instead of this car" Cursing and mumbling under his breath, he gripped the steering wheel tight and forced his eyes to see through the curtain of rain that was unmercifully showering the car; not even the headlights were helping… he needed to find a place where he could stop for a while.
Jeff on the other hand seemed oblivious to it all; he just sat there, soaked and still dripping, his gaze lost in the distance while biting at his nails absently.
"Jeff" Phil called, forcing the other man out of his self indulged trance.
Jeff didn't respond though, he just looked at Phil, blinked a couple of times and waited for him to go on. That Phil was sure that they were in dire danger of drowning in the middle of the road didn't seem to bother the older man in the sightless.
The Chicago native didn't notice Jeff's lack of interest; he was too busy worrying not to crash the car to put his mind in such things. "I can't see a fucking thing in this weather" He was hating North Carolina in that moment.
"You want me to drive?" Jeff asked, speaking for the first time since rushing out of his house a few miles back.
"No" Phil responded without thinking it twice. "Just… man your brother is a fucking psycho"
Jeff ran his hands through his hair and went back to look through the window, taking a deep breath as he did so.
"I swear that next time I see him I'm going to make him quit that obsession of fucking punching me every time he sees me" He had to do something about it, especially now that big Hardy was going to have yet another reason to hate his guts…
"He just worries about me"
Phil chuckled, taking a quick glance at his companion before focusing entirely on the road ahead of him. "He worries… come on Jeff, you are an adult and you don't need big brother to check on every step you make"
"You don't understand…"
"Of course I do, he wants to manipulate you and you are letting him do it; but just remember what he did to you" Yes, everyone liked to point fingers at him as the man who screwed Jeff, but they were conveniently forgetting the fact that Matt has done so in a much more horrible way.
Matt was his own flesh and blood and still he made his life a living hell…
"That's in the past… he loves me and he just takes care of me because I obviously can't do it myself"
Narrowing his eyes, Phil took another quick glance at Jeff. He was back into his world, chewing at his nails and staring off. "Let me guess, he told you that…"
Jeff shook his head. "Everybody knows I'm a screwed up and that I take the worst decisions ever… fuck, didn't you preached that to everyone countless of times?"
Touché… Phil thought to himself as he pulled over at the side of the road. Jeff was right, he has said that… to Jeff, to the Hardy marks, to the entire world who cared to listen… and now what?
Has he chosen to forget that little fact? Or did the deepest part of his being dared to believe that the older man had left his demons in the past? Jeff has assured he has…
"Can we just don't talk about this; I'm starting to have a headache"
The dark haired man glanced at Jeff for a few seconds, then he pushed his seat back as far is it would go to create space for the other man to join him. "Come here…" He reached for Jeff's arm and pulled him in his direction, luring him to jump over to his side.
"Why…?" Jeff asked with a frown, query in his eyes.
"Just come here"
Jeff did as he was told, albeit a bit hesitant but at the end he accommodated himself in a way that he was facing Phil.
Once face to face Phil began to kiss Jeff's temple, moving up to his hairline and then to his head. Now, he knew he was being silly… but when Jeff began to smile that shy smile of his he couldn't help but to smile as well.
"What are you doing?" Jeff asked, his hands resting on Phil's chest.
"What, is not working?"
Jeff locked his sparkling green eyes with Phil's and shook his head, but before the other man could reply he darted forward and captured his lips with his own.
The kiss started as a gentle caress, lips brushing against each other until Phil slid his hand to the back of Jeff's head to pull him closer… only then was he allowed to push pass the barrier of his lips to begin the familiar dance.
Jeff… it was hard to remember why he hated this man for so long… impossible to remember his flaws when he could feel him so close and intimate, with his fingers tangled in his hair and his tongue exploring his mouth, kissing him with the same intensity that he was kissing him.
And this was only a kiss, if he were to get more he would get lost in him as he has done so many times now.
He allowed his fingers to travel down his spine and down to the back of his jeans; pushing, urging him to come closer to him.
Jeff cooperated by straddling him, the two of them forgetting that they were in the middle of the road…
The kiss grew in intensity, hands roaming and pulling closer… if they kept like this Phil was going to have no choice but to take Jeff to the back seat and have his way with him…
So before his more primitive instinct took possession of his rational mind, Phil pulled away, drinking with his green orbs the sight in front of him. Jeff was staring at him, his face flushed and tilted to the side as he studied him.
"Do you think that maybe Matt is right?"
"No" Phil responded. He wasn't sure what exactly was Jeff referring to but there was no way that prick could ever be right.
"Why what?" Phil barked, a bit irritated because Matt was the last thing he wanted to discuss, ever.
"Why don't you think Matt is right…?"
"Because he's not, period, end of discussion" Now he was the one who was going to get a damn headache…
Jeff casted his eyes down; pouting as he played with the edge of his own shirt. He remained like that for a while, going from pouting to biting at his lips while an uncomfortable silence surrounded them.
Phil wondered if Matt was going to be the big shadow between the two of them, because even when he was not present he had a way of ruining things…
"You know… if you are doing this to mess with my head tell me now"
Phil snorted, doing a double take at Jeff's words. "What the fuck are you talking about Jeffrey?"
"Exactly what you heard, I don't want you playing games with me… so if you are tell me now so I can walk out of here with a little bit of dignity…"
Phil blinked, confused… "Hey…" He took Jeff's chin in his hand and forced his head up. "What makes you think I'm playing games with you? I mean listen to your yourself, you are letting Matt get inside your head…"
"It's not Matt… it's us. You said it once before, you live your life the way you do and I live mine the way I do… I mean let's be serious; you hate me and the real reason why we are here eludes me" Jeff chuckled uncomfortably… "I mean look at us, we are two universes apart"
Phil took a deep breath and scratched his cheek. The words that Jeff was telling him where the same ones he has repeated to himself over and over again… but somehow hearing them from the other man seemed very wrong.
"I don't hate you… and I'm not playing games with you. As for the real reason we are here… well, your psycho brother chased us out of your own house"
Jeff frowned and snorted. "He's not a psycho"
"Yes he is…"
"Phil, I'm serious… don't play games with me"
"Ok, you say that one more time and I'm going to get really pissed off. Do you really think I'm such a fucktard as to get inside your pants to play some kind of sick, mind game?"
Jeff shrugged. "I don't know…"
Phil sighed and moved his head to the side, his lips quirked as Jeff stared at him. Sure he knew he fucked Jeff more than once… and he was not talking about their bedroom adventures, he was talking about the part where he vented to the world Jeff's phantoms and that little episode in their turbulent relationship where he got him out of a job… but he wouldn't stop so low as to do what Jeff was implying.
So, he knew Jeff had a reason to distrust him, he just didn't like it. Didn't he trusted Matt blindly even after their fallout? Why couldn't he do the same with him?
"Don't get mad… I just… I don't want to get all brokenhearted for a stupid revenge… or whatever you have against me"
Phil ran his tongue through his lips, wondering what part of I'm not playing games with you Jeff couldn't understand… God, it made him want to punch him in the face, see if he could knock some sense into him.
"I told you Jeff, don't make me have to repeat myself"
Instead of replying to him, Jeff went to kiss Phil's neck, nipping at his flesh… his fingers sneaking underneath his still damp shirt to run smoothly over his skin.
Phil closed his eyes; enjoying the moment because it was far better and pleasant than having to punch him…
It was done; Jeff was something he could easily get used to… if he hadn't already.
"Phil…" Jeff whispered before pressing his lips to the sweet spot where Phil's pulse was beating underneath his skin. "I think that maybe, just maybe I'm starting to fall in love with you…"
The Chicago native did the second double take of the day, moving his head so he could face Jeff. "What?"
"I said maybe…" He responded apologetically, biting at his lower lip expectantly.
Love? "Wow… I don't know what to say…" Phil confessed. Love was such a strong word… one that he didn't dare to use often; he didn't know how to react to it, let alone when the word involved him and Jeff…
"You don't have to say anything"
Phil blinked several times, trying to register in his brain what Jeff just told him. He didn't think he could say anything anyways… after all this was the moment where idealist would confess undying love back and he didn't love Jeff. Yes he liked him and yes he hated to see him upset, but love… nope.
He couldn't mistake lust and desire with love because if he did everything would start to blur… and this was Jeff… Jeff Hardy!
The question was, could he love Jeff? He shook his head, trying to focus on the situation. "How do you know it's love? I mean we hardly know each other…"
Jeff shrugged. "I feel it right here" He said taking Phil's hand and placing it over his chest. "Besides I think of you all the time when we are not together, I paint and write about you and today when you were leaving my house I nearly freaked out…"
Throwing his head back against the seat, Phil sighed… that couldn't be love because he thought about Jeff all the time and he was definitely not in love with him, his was a case of carnal desire taking a strong hold of him…
Maybe Jeff was confused.
He wasn't… he knew he could get over Jeff anytime he chose to… he could even do it in that moment. Hell, he could even kick him out of his car and drive away without ever looking back.
"So where do we go from here?" Jeff asked, dropping Phil's hand away from him.
Phil thought about it, there was no other way but to end this… it was all good when it was just sex, but if Jeff loved him it changed everything! He would get clingy and demanding and that would mark the beginning of yet another miserable relationship for him…
The problem was that he didn't want to end it… for some weird reason he was not willing to give up on Jeff.
Was it love too? Couldn't be…
He glanced back at Jeff, he looked somber, resigned to his fate even though Phil hasn't spoken a word. But that was going to change, it was mind against gut, one of them was going to decide…
He took a deep breath. "Come with me to Chicago…"
Jeff frowned. "Now"
"Now. I have the weekend off and I don't know, we can spend some time together… see where this goes"
Jeff smiled. "Phil I don't know if you noticed but I kind of rushed out of my house, I don't have clothes, I don't have money…"
"Jeff, Jeff" He said cutting him off. "I'm going to ask you again, this will be your last chance because I won't repeat myself after this. Come to Chicago with me"
Phil waited for a response, he was going with his gut and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. It was what he wanted but that didn't mean it was going to end in his favor.
Spending the weekend with Jeff was a big step, one that could lead to revelations of the heart he rather keep buried…
"All right…" Jeff said, the smile still on his lips. "Can I ask you something now?"
"What?" Phil asked while raising his eyebrow. He hoped Jeff question didn't have anything to do with reciprocate love because he wasn't ready to answer that…
"Would you please shave? I don't know why you want to hide that face"
Phil laughed, pulling Jeff into a brief kiss. "I'll think about it" After all, the weekend was full of possibilities; it was just him and Jeff and anything could happen… everything was going to change.