Disclaimer : I don't own it, or the pranks.
Note : This prank idea was taken from the prank institute website, given to me by laureas. It was a totally random idea. Hope you all like it. Also, title was just a random pick, I didn't know what else to call it.
Summary : On a day filled with boredom, the Corvette Twins decide to annoy the other Autobots with a massive prank. One human knows whats going on, and seems to be enjoying themselves, but why is Sunstreaker screaming at a computer?
"What?" I felt my eyes narrow and folded my arms over my chest as I looked up at the giant, almost pleading looks I was getting, from two normally much more confident and independant Autobots. "You want my help?" I could only blink a moment. While I knew they respected Sarah and myself a lot more now, after the last prank we pulled on them, I'd still never expected this.
Standing up straight, Sunstreaker let out a hiss of irritation. "Are your audio processors damaged? What does it sound like, femme??" He folded his own arms over his chest, and glared down.
Raising an eyebrow, I bit my cheek a moment, before retorting. "Wow. I can see just how much you need my help. Well, if that's the way you're gonna talk to me, you can forget it. Get someone else to help." Turning, I began walking off. I smirked, when I heard a secondary hiss and the sound of metal slamming against metal.
"Hey, watch the paint!"
"Great! You just had to open your big mouth! Mikeala, wait!" Sideswipe's voice called, almost desperately. "Come on, it'll be hilarious!"
Pausing mid stride, I yelped a little when an unexpected hand wrapped around me, and lifted me up. I tried to ignore the way Sunstreaker was smirking, even as I turned and half glared into Side's eyes. "I am not putting up with being spoken down at by an over groan, glitching son-of-an overused snowblower!" I called indignantly, noticing the horrified, pissed look on Sunstreaker's face when I said that.
"Hey! You know you're talking about my femme creator, too!"
Oops. I bit my cheek to keep from laughing as I turned towards Sideswipe. "Have you ever wondered if you were adopted? Seriously, you might look like him, but you're not nearly as much of an aft."
Blinking at me a moment, Sideswipe's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Um, thanks....I think....?" He tilted his head a little, before shaking it. "Look, you can work with me. Just pretend he's not even there."
We both ignored Sunstreaker as I leaned forward, crossing my arms on Sideswipe's thumb, and then leaning on it. "I can do that. So, get talking. What do you need me for?"
"We want to pull a huge prank. A prank to end all pranks, and we need an idea, as well as a human ally to help pull it off." Sideswipe seemed to be thinking out loud and to himself, if his slightly dazed look had anything to say about it.
I raised an eyebrow, looking down pointedly at his hand, where he still held me like a living barbie doll, but he didn't seem to notice. Short of squirming out of his hold, which I will admit I was far too dignified to do, I was stuck as the giant silver and black mech almost stalked down the hall. I can walk, ya know! I thought darkly, resting my chin in my hand and tapping my fingers on his thumb in boredom.
"We've come across this site called 'The Prank Institute' and it lists all classes and kinds of pranks. We've narrowed the list down to a few dozen, out of the thousands of pranks on there." Instantly, he began to rattle them off. In detail. In far too much detail.
Feeling my eyes widen, I held up a hand. "Whoa! Sides, wait!" He paused walking, and I pursed my lips. That wasn't what I meant, but ok... "Firstly, let's narrow the list down even more, so I'm not eighty or even long buried by the time you finish orally reciting it for me." When he nodded, I thought a long moment. "We should have restrictions. How about, it all remains in one room? Takes only one day to prepare for, and has a decent budget limit." I thought some more. "Preferably it deals with english, so even the humans can understand what's going on."
He nodded almost eagerly, his eyes dim as I assumed he was narrowing the list. "Two dozen excellent pranks left." He tilted his head in Sunstreaker's direction, and I watched as his eyes went dim and they seemed to converse quietly a moment. Suddenly, their eyes lit up in tandem, and Sunny smirked, even as Sideswipe chuckled evilly. "Got it!"
Carrying me off to God-only-knows where, the silver and black twin began excitedly regailing me with his plans.
Taking a deep breath, I mentally schooled myself and closed my eyes. Think sad thoughts, think sad thoughts. Dad going back to prison. Sam breaking up with me. Tears began to pool in my eyes slightly. Bumblebee in Mission City, with his legs blown off. I held my breath a moment. Ok, that was too sad. Shaking my head a little, I cleared my mind, and then opened my eyes, looking up.
Widening my eyes almost comically, I jutted my lower lip out a little, and linked my fingers together behind my back. "Please?" I was not begging, I was simply...trying to convince him of the wiseness of my idea. I tried not to frown. Wiseness... Is that even a word? Ugh, back on track.
There was silence a moment. "You realize as a scientifically superior race, we do not require 'Computer courses'." He tilted his head a little.
"I know." Agree with him. Agree with him. Telling him would be so much easier, but no... He's gotta be part of it. I relaxed a little. "But these are human computers. Even if you can hack 'em, you should still know how to use 'em just in case, right? I mean, what if a mission requires you to go undercover in your holoform, and you need to use a computer?"
"We can 'hack' computer courses and download them." He was remaining infuriatingly calm about the whole thing.
"But what if there's no internet access, and you need to hack into the computer by hand-" I wiggled my fingers in the air for emphasis. "To get information? Or what if you're being watched? Standing in front of a computer, looking like you're a million miles away, while a bunch of information scrolls across the screen might be a little suspicious."
There was more silence. "I see your point." And that, ladies and gentlement, right there, is the very reason Optimus Prime was leader of the Autobots. The ability to recognize the obvious, even when others might chose to ignore it.
I bit my lip a moment, trying not to laugh. "Right! So the courses could come in handy."
"And why are you bringing this up now, all of a sudden?" Optimus' eyes seemed to narrow as he stared down at me, standing on his desk top, all alone
I shrugged, trying to act innocent. 'Cause I was just asked to help them with the prank? 'Cause we just thought up this kinda lame excuse. "Uh, it just crossed my mind?" Clearing my throat a little, I tried to appear more confident than I felt. After all, he was pretty observant. "Look, you never know what subterfuge might be needed in a mission." I felt like I was quoting an army recruitment pamphlet. "Right? And it's not like a lot of the Autobots have anything better to do."
With a low sigh, Optimus nodded a little. He seemed reluctant, his eyes shining almost suspiciously as he stared down at me. "Alright. Although I sincerely doubt your government will allow for costs of well over a dozen Autobot-sized computers."
I tried to imagine that. Over a dozen massive computers sitting on long lines of massive desks, with even more massive 'students' who were all incidentally over millions of years old sitting at them. Blinking a moment, I felt a little overwhelmed. Damn, that's kinda scary. "Uhm, who said anything about needing Autobot-sized computers? You all have human holoforms, right? We just need to figure out the budget on several computers, and they don't need to be the most recent models, either." I compromised. Thank God their plan can work with holoforms, too!
Eventually, Optimus agreed, and put out a call to Secretary Keller.
As I'd expected, a call from the leader of a race of extremely superior mechanical beings from another world, about 'computer classes' was so totally absurd, even the Secretary felt the need to come down and witness it personally. Even I could hear his aide laughing their ass off in the background, and couldn't suppress my own snicker at the thought.
I just wondered how Prowl would take it.
(Two Days Later)
And.... As I'd guessed, the second in command did not take this all that well.
The first thing he did was glitch. Then, when Ratchet revived him, looking irate and wielding a wrench, he was reinformed, and glitched again. And again. Needless to say, there was apparently no logical reason for them to be doing this, so Ratchet was excused to keep Prowl away from the room -and his processors of this ridiculous idea- and Prowl was excused for, uh, obvious reasons.
"'ey, it's not mah fault!" Jazz cried with an almost cute pout, scrubbing the floor where Prowl's cup of energon had spilled during one of his glitches. "I tried ta explain it."
"Apparently you either tried too hard, or not hard enough." Ironhide rolled his eyes. "And you were forbidden to even mention it in his presence, but you did anyways."
Clearly, Jazz was unable to hide his smirk, because there was a clang of metal on metal, and an indignant cry. Smirking to myself, I allowed Bumblebee to carry Sam and I towards the newly designated 'computer room', where he set us down outside the human-sized door.
"Do I even wanna know what ran through your mind to suggest this to Optimus?" Sam tilted his head a little, smirking a hint.
I shrugged a little. "Like I said, you never know when it'll come in handy." Turning to Bee, I smiled at him and waved. He returned the wave before moving to the hangar across the hall, transforming into his Camaro form, and then rematerializing in his human holoform. "Well? Come on, we'd better get the show on the road."
Bee tilted his head a little, and gestured back to his Camaro form, where the engine revved a little.
Giggling a bit, I shook my head. "No, not literally." Grabbing his arm, I almost shoved him ahead of me. "It's a human saying, meaning, let's get this done and over with." I stepped in behind him and paused.
There were several people positioned around the room. Optimus was sitting next to Ironhide, poking at the screen with a purely confused look. Ironhide was almost slamming his finger down on the return button, causing the computer to beep every time he did. Skids and Mudflap were shoving each other and totally ignoring the screens glowing in front of them.
The Arcee triplets were frowning at their computers, exchanging looks and nodding or shaking their heads now and then, the only sign of their internal communications. The middle one, the one with the pink streeks in her hair and thus Arcee shrugged a little, and tilted her head, pushing on one of the buttons almost cautiously, and then almost leaping back.
Exchanging a look with Sam, I almost giggled. I felt a little bad for Wheeljack, who had downloaded courses and now needed to teach the Autobots in english about it all, and I felt even worse for Secretary Keller, who's probably fall over laughing when he realized what was really going on. Poor Optimus shot me a look I couldn't decipher, and I turned to Sam, kissing his cheek and pulling him to a series of unoccupied computers, sitting next to him and watching as Bee sat down on the other side.
Checking my watch, I bit my lip to keep from smirking as Jazz's holoform ran in last minute and plopped down on my other side, just as Wheeljack cleared his throat and stood up at the front. He began his...halting lecture, pausing many times when he got numerous confused and lost looks, and then slowly settling into a highschool grade type of class, that even us humans could follow.
I tried to follow along, despite having already done this. I helped Jazz, even as Sam helped Bee, and I sneakily shot looks towards the twins, who were smirking silently, their eyes darting back and forth between each other.
After assigning a simple class of opening an internet browers and looking up a Wikipedia of our choice, and then having to explain what a Wikipedia was, and then having to put limits on what they looked up -apparently the Chevy twins were getting up to no good with engine specks on some sleek model of car- Wheeljack relaxed back and did rounds, helping those who needed it.
Eerily enough, if I allowed myself, I could almost forget I was taking a computer course with super smart, giant alien robots. It was almost silent for a long moment, and I finished my 'assignment' with ease. Chancing a glance around, I noticed the looks of varying degrees of frustration on the faces of many of my friends, and bit back the urge to laugh. So much for being 'superior'.
Jazz shot me a look and almost glowered at me. "Somethin' funny, femme?" Wow, he certainly did a fair job of channeling Ironhide. Too bad I'd long since learned not to be afraid of Ironhide and his oversized pea-shooters.
Raising my eyebrow, I let my smirk out, not feeling the least bit cowed. "Not so superior without access to the net, are we?" After all, that had been one of the compromises. Even the twins wouldn't be using it. They'd just be using their internal communications to exchange ideas.
He growled again, before turning back to the computer, and resuming his poking at single letters, almost cautiously.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated almost silently, and although I wasn't psychic, I was fairly certain I knew who it was. A single peep at the message only confirmed it.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and spinning, I watched with a raised eyebrow as Sunstreaker reached past me, unhooked my keyboard, and grinned almost tauntingly. "Mind if I borrow this?"
Not one to be outdone, I let my other eyebrow slowly raise. "Not at all, I'm long since done my assignment." I smirked back as his look darkened and his smirk became decidedly dark. Waving nonchalantly, I turned back to my computer, pulled out a nail file, and ignored Jazz's confused look as he looked over my shoulder.
A loud, almost maniacal burst of laughter suddenly shot through the room, and I'll admit I was one of the dozens of pairs of eyes that turned to find Sideswipe leaning back in his chair, laughing his aft off.
"You will all perish in flames!" He yelled, before cackling again, and going back to his work like nothing at all had happened.
I felt my shoulders shaking, and let my face fall forward to hide my amusement as I struggled not to burst out laughing. I could hear others who hadn't been as fortunate and were laughing their asses off, Skids, Mudflap and Jazz included.
"Are you damaged, Sideswipe?" Peeking, I could see the sincere concern on Optimus' features, and struggled even harder not to laugh.
"You mean more than usual?" Ironhide added, a smirk written across his face.
No one responded, and everyone returned to their work after a moment, when Sideswipe showed no more signs of outbursts. It was silent a moment longer, but for the occasional snicker, and I bit my lip as the overwhelming urge to laugh hit me.
I jumped at the sudden shout, turning to find Sunstreaker standing and pointing to his computer, looking positively terrified. "They've found me!" He almost lunged towards his computer, hitting the power button on the tower and then running across the room to sit peacefully at another computer, which he booted up. "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!" He begged, making a praying motion with his hands. When the computer successfully started up, he jumped out of his seat. "Yes!" Sat back down, and continued working.
I couldn't help but laugh, along with several others. Wheeljack's eyebrow slowly rose as his eyes took on a new suspicion in them, and Optimus turned to me, his own eyes reflecting the same emotion. My phone vibrated, and when I checked the message, I laughed even harder.
This wasn't really a 'computer courses' class, was it?
Biting my lip, I giggled a little again, and shrugged, before turning back to my computer and deciding to turn it up a notch. I knew the twins would wait a few moments, for the others to return to their work, and that's when I made my move.
Taking out my cell phone, I discreetly looked around, and when no one was looking, I opened a saved file. I scrolled through a list, before something caught my eye, and I smirked widely. Closing my phone. I took a deep breath, turned to Sam and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to me, I grabbed him firmly by the face, pulled him to me, and began making out with him right then and there, earning a loud, muffled cry of surprise from him, before he responded.
I could hear people choking, and some laughing, even as I firmly held Sam's face to mine. My own chest vibrated with muffled laughter, and I almost bit off Sam's tongue trying not to let it out. When I finally pulled back, I lost it at the sight of utter shock and embarrassment on Bee's face, and the choked, shocked laughter coming from Jazz. I laughed hysterically, pointing to them when Sam looked confused and a little hurt. He soon joined me in laughter.
I turned back to my computer before getting up, stomping loudly over to Sunstreaker and reaching over, unhooking his keyboard and smirking at him. I could tell he was trying to look tough, but the laughter in his eyes ruined the effect. "Mind if I borrow this?" Without even waiting for an answer, I turned and stalked back to my own computer, pulling Sam to me and making out with him a moment longer before hooking up the keyboard and getting down to work.
The class, by now, was failing. People were laughing and talking, most of the humans going on about how they much prefered these classes to the ones they'd had to take in highschool, and even the hardened bots like Ironhide were smirking and chuckling.
I kept my expression grim as I typed furiously on the keyboard, just more or less filling out gibberish but making it seem like a code. Now and then I'd stop and shoot Sam the evil eye, getting confused amusement in return before turning back to my work and keep going. Finally, I couldn't keep it up any longer and doubled over in laughter.
It didn't help when Sideswipe sauntered over, leaned down, unhooked Sam's keyboard and smirked. "May I borrow this?" He turned and walked off without a word, and without a word, Sam unhooked my keyboard and stole it, shaking with laughter the entire time.
Needless to say, nothing was really learned today... Except how to pull one hell of a prank!
Hope you like it.