Disclaimer: Nothing of Criminal Minds belong to me. Written purely for fun.
Warning: Contains graphic slash. If you don't like please hit the back button. Thanks.
A/N: Story inspired from small scene in 3.14 Damaged. Scene is used below to start it off and does not belong to me! Also, my first CM fic.
The car ride back to the office had so far been quiet. A few unspoken words lingered between them and neither of them wanted to be the first to speak about any of it.
"It was smart to get Hardwick to focus on himself long enough for the guards to come back," SSA Aaron Hotchner said quietly, his undertone difficult to decipher.
The back of his hand whitened as the grip on the steering wheel tightened dramatically. He glowered at the road as though it were somehow its fault for putting him in this situation. The lithe man beside him shrugged lightly in response.
"I find I do some of my best work under intense terror."
Hotch couldn't tell if he was joking or not. And then, something happened that didn't normally occur but for some reason he couldn't keep the words down. He sighed heavily.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
Dr. Spencer Reid turned to his boss with a small frown. "For what?"
"I antagonised the situation," replied Hotch instantly.
"No, you didn't," Reid said, attempting to make him feel better.
Hotch silently appreciating the half hearted attempt. "Well, I certainly didn't help," he said firmly.
"I guess you really didn't help," Reid agreed with a slight smirk.
The next words came up like vomit too. He needed to tell somebody and Reid was probably the best person, considering their history. He sighed heavily again. "So, Hayley wants me to sign the divorce papers uncontested so nobody waste money on lawyers."
"You don't want to?" asked Reid hesitantly, not wanting to over step his boundaries with the boss.
The look in Hotch's eyes hardened. "What I want I'm not gonna get."
Reid pursed his lips together as he nodded. Despite past occurrences, he knew he had no say when it came to Hotch and his marriage. Whatever happened between them would happen, without any help from him. If they were to reconcile then so be it, though he knew he didn't have to like it.
"Nothing to say?" Hotch asked after a few moments silent.
"What do you want me to say?" Reid asked immediately. "That I wanted this to happen?"
"But you'd be lying if you said you didn't want it to happen," Hotch said almost bitterly, his tone overly clear.
Reid turned his head away from his boss and concentrated on looking out the window. For several moments in silence he watched the scenery; watched as adults went about their day, children played on the sidewalks and animals amused themselves with anything available. As Reid watched the children it made his mind drift to his own childhood but before he could get far away Hotch's solemn voice pulled him back to the present.
"I'm sorry," Hotch said again.
Reid remained quiet but he shook his head, dismissing it. This was something they could talk about later. He also thought it would be a good idea for Hotch to calm down a little. The last thing he wanted was for them both to get into an argument, considering they had almost been killed today.
When arriving back at the BAU Reid walked straight to his desk and busied himself while Hotch went to his office. Once the rest of them team returned, Hotch furtively looked through his blinds at Reid and watch as he interacted with them. It wasn't long before all of them left. He wondered if all of them had somewhere to be and someone to go home to... including Reid.
Hotch shook his head and went back to the divorce papers that sat under his nose. He had already read them over before. He recognised the words written in the thick black ink but none of it made any sense. Hayley and he had disagreements but they didn't really fight. He was never around long enough for them to develop. He knew that.
At present the thoughts about this only angered him. He needed to get past it. It was too late to go back now. The words he spoke to Reid were true. He wasn't going to get what he wanted. It never seemed to matter. Perhaps he did take advantage that they would always be there.
Later that same night, just after midnight, Reid walked aimlessly down several streets, almost losing himself in the sights of his surroundings. The cool night air was crisp and had a certain freshness about it. It was something Reid quite enjoyed, though he had to admit that his job gave him cause for concern about walking around alone with no destination.
But soon, Reid recognised that he did have a destination. He found himself standing outside of Hotch's home. It looked like the typical family home although Reid knew it was empty save one person. This was also the place it first began. Well, for him anyway.
It had started a few months ago, after Gideon left the Bureau unexpectedly. It was completely out of the blue and it had Reid confused and questioning things he hadn't considered before. The first night after he found the note he found himself standing in this exact same spot. He was fortunate that Hayley wasn't there that night. She had gone to visit her sister and she had taken Jack with her.
Their first night together had been pure bliss and Reid had thought about no one else since. He wasn't sure there was anyone that could compare to Hotch. Sure, he wasn't a perfect man but neither was he. The man had his faults but unlike many people before him Reid could see past all of them. None of them mattered.
After their first night though, everything went back to how it was before. They remained working together as though they had shared nothing. Reid had to admit he was hurt by it but he kept his silence as he knew there was nothing Hotch could do. He was married and they had a son together. But the little things never left; the lingering looks when no one else was around or watching, the soft touches of their fingers when they passed something to each other and the short comedic but gentle messages when things got a little too tough.
Against his better judgement he walked cautiously up to the front door and glanced around. He knew his boss was home as the lamp in the living was currently on. Reid got the feeling that he didn't want visitors but this time would have to be an exception. Reid inhaled deeply, mustering as much courage as he could and knocked firmly on the door three times.
The noise startled Hotch, who sat in the living room with a small glass of scotch in hand. He felt the annoyance within him rise quickly as he wondered who it could possibly be at this hour. Within mere seconds Hotch reached the door handle. Pulling it open forcefully he stopped short as his original words when he saw his subordinate and young doctor on his doorstep.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
Reid tucked a strand of longish hair behind his ear. An almost compulsive gesture which he always did when he was feeling nervous. He shrugged lightly, seeming unsure as to why he was there. He almost looked oddly uncomfortable in his own skin.
"Just want to check and see if you were alright, I guess," he said shrugging his shoulders lightly and several hesitant smiles pulling at his mouth. He didn't quite want to meet Hotch's dark stare.
"At this time of night?" Hotch questioned, his scrutinising stare running right through Reid.
"Well..." Reid trailed momentarily, trying to find the right words. "I've been thinking about our conversation earlier and I guess I'd like to know where I stand."
"Alright, well, come in," Hotch said taking a step back to let Reid inside.
Reid smiled faintly as he took an almost hesitant step inside the house. Hotch firmly closed the door again and locked it. Hotch went back into the living room and Reid followed. "Take a seat," Hotch said pointing to an armchair.
Silently, Reid sat down. He watched as Hotch poured another glass of scotch and handed it to him. "Thank you,' Reid said although not really wanting it. He thought it impolite to refuse a drink that was offered.
Hotch went back to where he had been sitting in another armchair opposite the one Reid occupied. He swirled the contents of his drink a couple of times before speaking again. He could guess why the young man was here but he didn't really want to get into all of that stuff right now. It was too soon.
"Have you been home?" he asked, starting the conversation off lightly.
Reid took a tiny sip of his drink before nodding. "Yeah," he replied quietly. "But I didn't stay there long. It felt too quiet so I went for a walk."
"And you happen to end up here?"
"Looks like it," replied Reid. "I thought you moved out?"
Hotch took another, longer sip of his own drink. "I did but Hayley's gone away for a few days and said I could take my time moving some last stuff out. How did you know I was here then?"
"I noticed the lamp in this room was on from outside the window and I noticed that Hayley's car isn't here and yours is."
Hotch scoffed faintly. "Should have known that you don't miss a thing." There was a pause. "Why are you really here, Reid?"
"You know why," Reid said softly, his features tensing. "I wanted to know if you were okay." There was a pause but the older man said nothing so Reid continued. "So, are you okay?"
"Yes," Hotch said sharply, his tone hardening momentarily. He sighed before continuing. "I signed the divorce papers this afternoon. I'm now a free man."
The last five words were soaked in sadness. Reid glanced down at his lap as a twinge of guilt nudged at him. The tone made his heart sink. He felt bad at wanting to know what would happen with him, he didn't really take the time to consider how hard it must be on Hotch. But somehow, Reid still felt himself dying for an answer.
The room turned silent and the tension between them seemed to mount higher and higher. Reid glanced up a few times at his boss, but he was unable to look for every long. After several more minutes it seemed Hotch couldn't take it. He cleared his throat as he got to his feet. He placed his glass on the coffee table before excusing himself inaudibly and entering the kitchen.
Reid let go of the breath he didn't realise he had been holding for a while and he sat forward, placing the glass in both hands. He looked into the brown contents and wondered how much longer he was prepared to wait.
As sounds from the kitchen filled his ears, Reid got to his feet and walked to the bookshelf to entertain himself until Hotch returned. The amount of books on the shelf didn't surprise Reid but some of the titles did although he was sure not all of them belonged to Hotch.
When the unit chief came back into the living room he stopped in the doorway as his eyes spotted Reid instantly looking through the many books he owned. His eyes wandered up and down the man's lean, slender body. The memories of their one and only night together a few months ago came flooding back.
It was something Hotch didn't regret but thought shouldn't have happened. He stayed with Hayley. He loved her but he still didn't want to hurt Reid. He was a special young man and he deserved much better. Besides, he was sure the age difference would end up being a hindrance.
A warm feeling spread through his torso and down to his groin but Hotch ignored it and cleared his throat instead as he walked into the living room. He glanced at the clock while Reid looked at him with those wide, expressive eyes, almost instantly telling him what he needed to know.
Hotch looked away, knowing that he couldn't say what he needed to say while looking at Reid. "Look," he started quietly, his voice getting more confident with each word. "I think we should do this at a later date."
"As in never," Reid said in an almost sad tone.
Hotch sighed heavily. "Reid, I just..." he sounded almost tormented. "I'm not saying I don't want this or... you but I just got divorced this afternoon and I'm not ready. I... I need time."
The disappointed look on Reid's face faded lightly but still remained etched in his features. He nodded his head slowly and finding no other words to say he moved towards the front door with languid steps, his shoulders slumped, hands stuffed in his pockets and his head down. Without looking back, he grasped the handle and opened the door but jumped and released it in fright as it was pushed shut.
Reid turned on the spot quickly and found himself face to face with Hotch who seemed conflicted. "Damn it," he muttered under his breath.
Reid's eyes closed momentarily as the smell of Hotch reached his nose. The smell was strong and masculine but not overpowering. A tight knot in his stomach made its presence known as he felt unsure about what to do next.
Hotch hung his head down as he tried to think this through but the light musky scent was obscuring his thoughts. Before he could stop himself, Hotch placed a hand on the back of Reid's neck and pulled him close before pushing his mouth against Reid's soft lips. Reid groaned and let out a small noise of surprise when his back was pushed against the door and the larger body before him pressed against him.
Since there was nothing Reid could do against the strong arms around him, the young agent decided to just go with it. Besides, it was what he hoped would happen. The passionate kiss seemed to last an eternity. Hotch finally broke the kiss and moved to Reid's neck when both of them needed to take a breath.
"You taste better than I remember," Hotch commented, his breath hitting Reid's skin lightly.
Reid moaned at the words and wrapped his arms around the broad body and ran his hands through Hotch's dark hair. As though not able to wait any longer, Hotch grabbed Reid's arms and removed them from his body. He let one of them go and dragged Reid upstairs and into the main bedroom.
Reid allowed himself to be pulled along and he overlooked the fact that he was in the room that Hotch once shared with Hayley. Once in the room, Hotch closed the bedroom door and walked to the bed. He sat on the end and looked to Reid, who stood there like a deer in the headlights. He seemed unsure of what to do with himself.
Inwardly, Hotch smiled. "Strip," Hotch ordered in the same voice he used at the office.
Reid swayed slightly on his feet by the surprise order. It was the last thing he expected to hear. Last time, Hotch had completely undressed him without any words. Without trying to waste much more time, Reid reached up to the top of his shirt and loosened his tie before taking it off. He then swiftly started to unbutton his shirt, thinking that he should get it over with before he changed his mind and lost the small amount of confidence he still retained.
The corners of Hotch's lips began to curl upwards, showing the signs of a tiny smile. Reid instantly noticed and a blush began to creep along his pale skin. It made Hotch's smile widen a little. For some reason, the young agent's shyness was an incredible turn on. Reid looked down as he undid the last few buttons and he carefully dropped his shirt onto the floor.
He then went to his belt which he ended up fiddling with, causing Hotch a little frustration. "Come here," he said huskily.
The tone sent a pleasurable shiver down Reid's spine. Reid tentatively licked his lips before walking to Hotch who guided him in between his legs. "You shouldn't tease," Hotch warned as he reached out to undo Reid's belt for him before quickly moving to his pants, which already showed that he was more than interested in this.
Gaining some courage Reid ignored the wandering hands on his body long enough to reach down and take off Hotch's tie and begin to unbutton his shirt. Hotch took the opportunity of the closeness to plant light kisses on the graceful length of Reid's exposed neck, making him moan low in his throat.
In a split second, Hotch grabbed Reid's upper arms and threw him onto the bed before moving himself on top of his subordinate, making both of them groan at the contact of their groins. Reid continued to go with it. He let Hotch take control, which Reid knew he was best at. Hotch steadied Reid's head with his hand before giving him another passionate kiss which made Reid moan. Hotch took advantage of his open mouth and plunged his tongue inside to dance with the other.
Losing what little patience he had left, Hotch pulled off all the remaining clothes and gently parted Reid's legs before moving between them. He started to stroke the thighs firmly, his eyes glued to the growing erection that was seeking attention. But Hotch decided to ignore it. He didn't necessarily want Reid to beg but it wouldn't be the worst thing.
Hotch looked back at Reid's face when a needy moan was heard. Reid wasn't looking at him but it was alright. He knew that it took a while for Reid to feel comfortable and confident. It was the same with their first time. Hotch took a moment to look over Reid's face. Sometimes he was still amazed at the almost feminine beauty of Reid's face. Was it the reason he didn't mind this? Hotch never considered himself homosexual but he did want Reid.
Quickly, Hotch leaned over to the bedside draw and took out some lube. He spread some generously over his fingers and then gently, Hotch reached down and slowly slipped a finger into Reid's entrance. Instantly Reid tensed and hissed through his teeth. Hotch moved his face closer to Reid's, their noses centimetres from each other. He hushed him gently.
"Just relax," he cooed softly. He paused, steadied his hand and then placed a light quick kiss on Reid's lips. "How long has it been?"
Reid's mouth open and he shook his head as an inarticulate sound escaped that expressed both embarrassment and desire. He seemed unable to find the words. It made Hotch smile a little. "Hey, look at me."
Despite the quiet tone Reid felt compelled to open his eyes and focus them upon Hotch's dark gaze. He shook his head again lightly. "Ah... no one... only you..." he whispered.
"I was the last person?" Hotch asked, feeling a mixture of relief and puzzlement.
Reid nodded and again felt unable to speak anything else coherent. Hotch kept his eyes on the young doctors face as his moved his finger carefully, massaging the passage gently. Soon, he added a second finger and scissored inside, stretching and the slippery lube well so it wouldn't hurt too much.
"Does that feel alright?" Hotch asked, his voice thick with lust.
Reid nodded. "Hmm..." was the only reply he was able to give.
"Tell me what you want," Hotch urged.
Reid moaned. "Oh, God... I want... you... more..."
Without answering Hotch added a third finger. "So nice and tight," he praised throatily, unable to take his eyes off Reid's.
"Please," Reid responded breathlessly. "I want..."
"Ready?" Hotch asked as withdrew his fingers and teasingly pressed his large erection against his agent's entrance.
"Yes!" Reid half shouted.
Hotch chuckled under his breath before he pushed into the slick, tight heat of his lover, groaning at the sensation it caused. Once fully buried in Reid, Hotch had to still his movements in order to prevent this pleasure from ending way too soon. But after a few seconds he pulled out almost all the way before driving in again with more force than before.
It took a few thrusts for Reid to forget about the pain and enjoy the feeling of being fucked by his boss. He knew Hotch was well equipped but having him now inside him accentuated that fact and it indeed felt much better than the three fingers before it.
Supporting himself on outstretched arms, he gazed down at Reid, taking in the parted lips and the tangled hair across his face. Words were no longer needed. All that remained between them now were groans and the occasional high pitched scream of ecstasy when Reid's sweet and sensitive spot was hit.
When Hotch knew Reid was close he reached down and grasped the young agents cock and stroked him in time with his own pace. Reid gripped at the sheets with pleasure and he finally opened his eyes at the man above him.
Within seconds there was another scream as Reid came, his seed spilling over Hotch's hand. It was all he needed. He thrusted in one last time, burying himself as deep as possible and came inside his lover's body, shouting Reid's first name.
Hotch took a moment for the orgasm to pass before giving Reid a light kiss and rolling off him and onto his back. When Hotch got his breath back he rolled onto his side so he faced Reid. Gently, he moved the few loose strands across his face. Suddenly, Reid seemed to become self conscious. He attempted to get up from the bed but Hotch grabbed is arm and brought him back down beside him.
"Where are you going?"
Reid shrugged uncertainly. "I assumed you'd want me to leave."
"No," Hotch said assuredly. "Hayley won't return for a couple days. Stay the night." Reid nodded but remained silent. Hotch took a deep breath. "I do want this but... I still may need time. You understand that, right?"
Reid nodded again in silence, keeping his eyes on the ceiling. He rolled onto his side and within seconds felt strong arms wrap around him tightly and a warm chest press against his back. Hotch placed a light kiss on Reid's neck and quicker than usual, Reid relaxed and settled in his arms.
He knew that tonight had been to get rid of some tension between them and Reid was fine with that. He had been assured that things would continue to develop between them and he had no problem in waiting for it to go further and hopefully one day soon he would get to know his boss in the way he wanted.
Thanks for reading.