Author's Note: I actually wrote this story before watching "The Christmas Show", er go before the Matt/Danny "Say It" scene(s). This is easily my shortest fic ever, but the idea sort of struck me as funny and so here we go! Also, this fic is fabulously un-beta'd. My lovely beta is AWOL for the moment and without her, I'm lost! With all of that...hope you enjoy!

This was originally posted to my website only (and the note from above was posted to my website at that time) but I decided to put it up here as well. It was written back when the show was still on the air. I can't even remember exactly when that was.

"Tell me."

"No." He says like a petulant four year old.



He's laying on top of his desk which is suspiciously devoid of…well, anything. "Matt."

"For the love of God, Danny, no!"

"Harry already told me anyway."


I chuckle. "Yeah, that'll tell her."

"Bitch!" He yells louder.

Through the open window of his office Harriet hollers back, "Prick!"

"This is going well." I comment dryly. I try another tactic. "You know you can't just do that to her in front of the guys."

"I can, and I did." Now he sounds like a petulant teenager. I'm going to count that as progress.

"Matt, you embarrassed her." I pause. "In front of her coworkers." I pause again. "For no reason."

"No, Danny, not for no reason." He sits up abruptly. "I feel better now. See? That's a reason."

I can't help but smile at him. "Okay, look. You two are going to have to work this out because obviously you can't work at the same time." I sweep my hand around the area of his once cluttered desk.

"She took it all. You know…after." He pauses for a beat and then yells, "Bitch!" again over his shoulder.

"You're a smug son of a bitch Matthew Albie!" She yells back. A beat of silence then, "Prick!"

I cross over to the window. "Okay. Enough, Harry, okay?" I shout down to her.

She sends me the international signal for "fuck off". I find that not entirely Christian of her and smile again.

I turn back to face Matt. "And that's enough from you too."

"It was one kiss, Danny, and I've done it a thousand times before."

"It wasn't exactly one kiss and you know it. You mauled her in front of Tom and Simon. You grabbed her boob in front of Tom and Simon. After she told you she didn't want anything to do with you."

"She wasn't serious."

"Yeah. She was."

"We have something going on."

"Okay, buddy, it's like this. You absolutely cannot sexually harass the cast."

"I'm not sexually harassing the cast. I'm sexually harassing my ex-girlfriend. That's allowed. Besides, she slapped me afterward anyway. I've been appropriately chastened."

"Matt, seriously. Not again, okay?"

"Yeah. Whatever."