The Dream Machine
by Bullwinkle's Lady
In living room.
Naruto, Choji, Kiba, Sakura, Ino, Lee, Shino, Shikamaru, Hinata, Neji, Tenten, and Sasuke; all ranging from ages sixteen to seventeen, stared at Kakashi with blank looks upon their faces.
Kakashi sighed. He had been prepared for such a question. The jounin pulled out a pointer.
After countless charts, surveys, graphs, and diagrams, the gray-haired shinobi some how managed to explain to the twelve teenagers just how he had gotten all of their dreams of the previous night on tape.
'I have no idea what he said, but I'll pretend that I do anyway,' everyone thought.
"That makes perfect sense..."
In a matter of moments the large group had made their way to a livingroom. What livingroom you ask? No one really knows. It was just a livingroom, with a large couch, a wide screen television, and warm bowls of popcorn conveniently lying around.
Did I dream last night? Naruto wondered, taking a place on the couch and kicking his sandals off. Foul odors drifted across the room.
Hinata, who didn't really mind Naruto's many surprising odors, took a seat beside him. She blushed, remembering the various dreams that she'd had the previous night, and prayed that Kakashi hadn't recorded one in particular.
As Sakura sat down on the other side of the couch, the Uchiha took a seat on the ground in front of her, his back against her legs as he absently leaned on them. Both silently tried to remember the dreams that they'd had the previous night, just in case something - ah - inappropriate popped onto the screen.
Kami, I can't believe I forgot... thought Sakura, biting her fingernails.
This is a violation of privacy, the Uchiha thought, glaring at the back of Kakashi's head.
As Neji, Tenten, and Lee stood behind the couch (what with the easy access to the exit), Shikamaru and Choji took seats on the ground close to the television screen. Ino also sat on the floor, more near the couch, and Shino brooded in a nice shadowy corner. Lastly, Kiba stood on the ceiling above the couch, while Akamaru curled up beside it.
"Ready?" asked Kakashi, smirking behind his mask.
As some responded with snake-like hisses, others released reluctant, "yeah"s. Hinata hid her face behind her fingers, and Sakura sighed, still unable to remember just what she had dreamed about the previous night.
Using all of his will power not to hop up and down, Kakashi turned off the lights. He leaned down near the television, his pointer finger shaking in excitement as it landed on the PLAY button of the VCR. "I believe the first dream is Naruto's," he muttered, as he moved to stand beside the television.
Naruto nervously chuckled, having no idea what he was about to see.
Ruggedly handsome Uzamaki Naruto, looking to be about twenty-five, sighed as he leaned back in his jacuzzi, hot bubbling ramen oddly substituting the water. Giggling beside him in an itty-bitty red bikini was his dear wife Haruno Sakura...
"Naruto!" Sakura growled, resisting the urge to leap across the couch to strangle the blonde in question.
Naruto released an awkward chuckle, making sure not to catch Sakura's eyes as he resisted his own urge to run.
As the rest of the room's occupants snickered, Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, though he couldn't quite understand why.
Back to the tape:
In the jacuzzi, Naruto wore only orange swim trunks, and his pointy Hokage hat. "Isn't life great?" he sighed happily.
"It really is," Sakura responded, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
"YOU'RE DEAD NARUTO!" screeched Sakura, lunging at him over Hinata.
"Hey, I can't help what I think in my sleep!" Naruto responded, batting away Sakura's probing claws. Despite all of the kunoichi's screaming, Naruto couldn't help but wickedly smile, taking note of the funny hat that he wore on the screen.
Sasuke couldn't seem to stop twitching.
There was suddenly a knock on the office door. Yes, he had built a jacuzzi right in the middle of his office. "Come in," Naruto called, an arm draped around Sakura's shoulders.
The door slowly creaked open to reveal a woman. An extremely small woman actually, who appeared to be only two feet tall. On closer inspection one would realize that it was Hyuuga Hinata.
Hinata stared at herself on the screen, her white eyes wide. She was embarrassed and flattered all at once that she was in Naruto's dream...but...why was she so small in comparison to everyone else? She nipped her bottom lip, glancing at Naruto as he scratched the back of his head.
"Hey Hinata-chan...you're in my dream," he said, blinking.
The tiny Hinata was clutching a clip board.
"Ah, there you are, my good assistant," Naruto muttered, Sakura still smiling under his arm.
Hinata bowed slightly. Holding a pen to the clip board, she said something, but Naruto couldn't hear her. He beckoned her closer to the jacuzzi and asked her to repeat, but no matter how desperately he tried, he couldn't seem to make out anything but muffled sounds.
Sakura seemed to understand fine though. "Oh yes, that's perfect for him dear. Just put it on the schedule after his meetings that day. You can go now."
Naruto frowned as he watched the small woman leave. "Dammit," he muttered.
"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Sakura, her fingers twisting though his wet hair.
"Ano...nothing," muttered Naruto, not quite knowing himself.
There was suddenly another knock on the door.
"Come in!" the Hokage called.
The door again opened to reveal...Sasuke. Dressed in a butlers uniform, and carrying a silver tray with a large bowl of ramen on it.
Everyone in the room burst into laughter.
'Something's gone terribly wrong,' Naruto thought, as Sasuke's fingers clamped around his neck.
"Your ramen," Sasuke muttered. Even in Naruto's dream, the Uchiha seemed dark and sinister. He walked up to Naruto and shoved the bowl in his face.
"Ah, thank you lowly Uchiha," Naruto said pleasantly. "Good butler!"
As people rolled around in uncontrollable laughter, Kiba fell from the ceiling and onto everyone on the couch, Lee clutched his aching chest, and even Sakura and Hinata giggled a little. Through all the commotion, Naruto desperately tried to free his neck, for the lack of air was making the room begin to spin.
Naruto took a sip from the bowl of ramen (despite the fact that he was currently lounging in a tub of it). He face fell. "Sasuke, this is cold!" he said.
Sasuke grimaced. "Gomen," he muttered insincerely. "If only I wasn't such a useless butler..."
"Hey, you're not useless," mentioned Sakura, tilting her head.
"Yeah, don't be so hard on yourself," Naruto grinned. "Why don't you just get me another bowl?"
Sasuke scowled. "Iie," he said. "I think I'll quit."
Naruto's eyes widened. "What?" but even as he said this, Sasuke's body seemed to grow transparent, until he completely faded away. "Sasuke..." he muttered. "Not...again," Naruto then turned to Sakura, who's body also began to fade into nothing. The entire room went next, leaving only darkness, and a very familiar laughter.
The room had gone silent, as people wiped tears of laughter from their eyes. Sasuke's hands dropped from Naruto's neck. He stared at the blonde who had looked down to glare at his lap. "Dobe..." the Uchiha muttered, poking Naruto in the forehead. The laughter...it had been Orochimaru's.
Naruto attempted to smile, embarrassed with what had become of his dream - or rather, nightmare. His grin was fake and bitter, and he tried to speak, but could find nothing to say. The blonde blinked when a few strands of pink hair fell in his face, long arms wrapping around his neck from behind. "We're not going anywhere," Sakura whispered, kissing the top of his head.
The three ignored the tape as it ran into Choji's dream.
Choji sat at a large table as he feasted upon the delicious meal set before him. The feast consisted of fried chicken, egg rolls, curry, sushi, dumplings, dango, fried rice, soba, steaks, cakes, pies, ramen, udon, and many other favorite foods of Choji's. Dish by dish, he salvaged his meals.
"Kami Choji, is food all that you think about?" asked Ino. Shikamaru merely sighed.
Naruto meanwhile (having finally convinced Sasuke and Sakura he was fine), drooled at the sight. "Mmm, that looks good," his stomach growled. Choji's dream was making him hungry.
Choji groaned and patted his bloated stomach when he finished the enormous meal. He looked up when the kitchen door suddenly opened, to reveal Ino, wearing a chef's hat, as she carried an enormous tray containing...
"Good god," whispered Neji.
"Is that a dog?" muttered Shikamaru.
Kiba stared with wide eyes. "That's - AKAMARU!" he screeched.
"Ah," said Choji. "The final course."
The large hairless animal was roasted like a pig, a bright red apple stuffed into its mouth. The dead dog was slightly burnt and glazed over, lying down on his front, looking...rather delicious.
Giving Ino an appreciative nod as she set down the enormous platter, Choji broke off one of the dog's front legs and began to chow down.
As a green looking Kiba ran out of the room covering his mouth, Akamaru hid in a corner, whimpering. Choji was bright red, attempting to melt into the ground; while the others stared in shock and horror, yet, like watching a car wreck, found themselves unable to turn away from the screen.
Piece by piece, Choji consumed Kiba's pet dog, occasionally adding salt or ketchup to the meat. Ino stood by the table watching him eat, a wide smile upon her face. When finally all of Akamaru had been ingested, and his bones had been sucked clean, Choji sighed and patted his stomach, before glancing up at Ino. He gave the blonde girl a thoughtful look. "I wonder how you taste."
As many of the shinobi fell over, many others burst into giggles, while some continued to stare at the screen with disgusted looks on their faces.
"Closet pervert!" Ino screamed at Choji, her face bright red.
Choji blushed furiously, wishing only to disappear. Shikamaru merely shook his head, giving his friend an odd look.
"Well that was...interesting," said Kakashi, disturbed, as the tape continued on to the next dream.
It began with a view of the road - and then a shop - and then into the woods. It was as though a person was running around, a shaking camera in their hands. It seemed that they were seeing the entire dream through another's eyes-
Through a dog's eyes.
Everyone blinked, watching the odd dream.
"Kiba?" Sakura asked, as the Inuzuka trudged back into the room.
Through the dog's eyes, it could be seen running about, chasing cats, barking at villagers, and digging holes. The dog ran through the woods passing Neji, Tenten, and Lee as they trained. It then leapt into a pond, swimming by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura who were sparring on top of the water. Climbing out and shaking itself off, the dog headed back to the road where Ino was yelling, Choji was snacking, and Shikamaru was cloud gazing. Lastly, the dog found a field, only to find a smiling Hinata, a grinning Kiba, and Shino - whose leg it bit down on.
In his dark lonely corner, Shino twitched.
The dog continued to run about Konoha freely, chewing sticks, chasing squirrels, and sniffing bottoms.
When Kiba's dream ended, everyone blinked.
"Well, that was...nice," said Sakura awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Kiba who was glaring at everyone.
The dog boy shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder what it's like, that's all. Being a dog," he muttered, before glaring at Choji. "As opposed to eating them."
Choji looked away, his face burning.
"All right, I believe that this one is Sakura's," Kakashi mentioned, the screen going black, before opening upon a new scene.