Beta'd by the lovely MandySg1
A/N – This takes place sometime after the crew gets back from Egypt in End of Nights pt 1. Exactly when is up to you :D Enjoy!!!
He was waiting for her when she entered her bedroom. Contrary to popular belief, she really did have one, though it was rarely used. It took extreme circumstances, when even she couldn't stand to stay working in her office; she would escape to the solitude of her room. Not to sleep, necessarily. After so long a life her dreams were riddled with too much. Not always nightmares, though more often than not. No, most of the time her mind was simply too full of knowledge, ideas, thoughts, memories and the pent up emotion of two or three lifetimes. Sometimes, however, she would just lay on the large, empty four poster bed that sprung from the wall and dominated the far side of her room.
It was a large room, but sparsely decorated. Long, dark drapes flowed down over the ceiling high windows that filled the far wall. They were open just enough to let the light of the full moon softly illuminate the room. Beside her bed was a small table, home to a single picture of her, Ashley, Henry and Bigfoot. In the drawer, a few pads of paper, writing utensils, and a gun. At the bottom of the pile, a worn, faded photograph of a love long past, but never forgotten. Against the same wall as the bed, but closer to the door were a small table and two plush chairs.
He was sitting on one of these chairs, fingering her hidden picture. She paused for only half a second before going to sit in the opposite chair. They sat in silence for several minutes. They didn't really have to talk to understand the other's thoughts, and where they were centered.
Whatever had happened between them in the past, however mad John had gone, Ashley was now bringing them together again.
Helen knew she couldn't trust him. He had changed recently, yes, but he still wasn't Her John. Could this series of events eventually be the catalyst to make him good forever? She had told him she didn't think that was possible, but deep inside she desperately hoped it was. She needed him so badly right now… his support, his understanding. Ashley was one of a very few people who Helen let herself love unconditionally. So few people in her life, to lose one…
But even as her heart was being ripped apart by the mystery of Ashley, so much more was at stake. She had to be objective, focused, not fall apart. She had to be the strong one, she always was. She had started this; she had to see it through, had to lead those who put their faith in her and her often far fetched lifestyle. She couldn't let anyone know she just wanted a five minute break, a mug of hot tea and a hug.
Lost in her musings, Helen hadn't even realized John had moved. His hand gently touched her shoulder. She tensed, and made the mistake of looking up at him. It was like he'd used his powers to go back in time to before the Source Blood, before his madness, when it had just been Helen and John, young, and in love. In his eyes shone the trust and understanding and love that she longed to see.
She let herself believe.
His hand trailed from her shoulder to a stray lock of hair, tucking it behind her ear. She closed her eyes as his thumb brushed over her cheek.
She gave herself permission to stop thinking, stop analyzing.
His other hand touched her other shoulder and she let him raise her from the chair. She looked into his eyes again. Tenderness seemed to pour out. She knew she shouldn't, but she trusted him. His mouth quirked up ever so slightly to one side and he leaned slowly forward to rest his forehead against hers.
She breathed in deeply. She could smell him, just like he used to, with a touch of mustiness still lingering from their trip to Egypt, even after washing and changing.
She let herself breathe deeply, breathe him in, his scent permeating her to her core. She took a final, shuddering breath, and his lips were on hers. Soft and gentle, not demanding anything, just offering her whatever she needed. She didn't pull away.
Time, such a constant in her life, melted away into the warm embrace of John. He moved his lips to her cheek, her jaw, down to her neck. She turned her head to ease his path, as a tiny hint of doubt flitted through her mind. Moisture pooled in her eyes, and she took a quick breath.
He stopped, and pulled away just far enough to look at her.
Again, no more words were needed. A conversation flew between the few inches of space that separated them.
Can I trust you?
I don't know.
I want to
I want so many things right now… it's so hard
I want to help you
I'm hurting too
Help me… please.
His hand came up to stroke her face again. She closed her eyes, and leaned into him. His arms wrapped around her as his mouth gently captured hers once again.
She let herself feel.