Heyyaa,x

This fanfic was inspired by the great 'A Fine Frenzy'

Love them and listen to them and enjoy !

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~Whisper~

*~.~*

Running the race
Like a mouse in a cage
Getting nowhere but I'm trying

*~.~*

I try so hard to remember why I had done this. I just left, I was cold and I was cruel. Why? I had no idea now. I thought it would be the right thing for her, it would be. But where does that leave me?

I deserved it.

*~.~*

Forging ahead
But I'm stuck in the bed
That I made so I'm lying

*~.~*

It was my decision, nobody else's. I shouldn't regret it. It would keep her safe, she could have a normal life. I made my bed and now I would have to lie in it. The familiar saying would now become my life. How I hated it.

*~.~*

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

*~.~*

But she is there, locked in my memories as I rock back and forth in the corner of a room, far from everybody. I gathered all the things with her scent and held on for dear life. I could see her when I closed my eyes, the broken, dead look when I told her that I didn't love her. I thought it would have been hard and she would see through my act, how could she believe it? I needed her close, I would reach deep within myself and hold her close, in memory.

*~.~*

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me still

*~.~*

I cant speak, I cant breath, I cant hunt, I just can't. I stay in my head, where I am happy with Bella. I dreamed of happiness and love. I was sick, I was a curse and I would not let her be it too. But could she still feel me? Could she still love me? I blocked out those thoughts.

*~.~*

Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
*~.~*

I was alone in so many ways. I was hurting ever single person I loved. I prayed Bella wasn't in pain. I remembered some of Alice's visions of Bella, broken and alone. I cringed and rocked. I had to leave my family, all sad that they had lost a daughter and sister. Even Rosalie was different, she realized our pain. They tried so hard for me, but everybody slips. I couldn't do it, knowing I had caused so much pain.

*~.~*

I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires

*~.~*

I don't try to justify my actions anymore. There can never be peace of mind and when I try to get some, it gets worse. It was my fault and if I had a soul, I would go to hell. Not that it could be worse than this. Now I had no Bella I realized she was right, I could have a soul, but I knew that now she was gone I could never. She was my should, my heart, my life. And now she was gone.

*~.~*

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you
*~.~*

I could feel her, everything reminded me of her, even though I did nothing. Thoughts were always on her and I was always in pain. Her scent was fading and I was becoming crazing. I was almost at the line of madness and I was sure that once I had nothing left, the real Edward, the one so much in love with his soul mate, would be gone. There would only be a shell of a person left. So I prayed for her to keep close.

*~.~*

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still

*~.~*

I have nothing left, it has all gone. All I had was the image of Bella, it was glued into my brain. But if she was happy, I'd take this pain a million times over. I would rather have Jane Volturi burn me one thousand times over than see my Bella unhappy. Though I could never have her, she would always be mine. In my mind, always mine.

*~.~*

The sound tires on my lips
To fade away into forgetting

*~.~*

Living is becoming too tiring and painful. Her name and her image are fading. I would never forget but she could never be clear. She was gone. Gone, gone, gone. I was alone.

*~.~*

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me

*~.~*

And now I give up. I curse the world and it's creator and I break. I finally crack. Because my one reason for living, my beautiful innocent Bella is gone. She, cold as a vampire, still as stone and a lifeless corpse died because of me. It was my fault, her blood was spilled at my hand, because of what I did. I would not go on without her. Goodbye to life, look after my family.

~ I'm down to a whisper ; In a daydream on a hill ; Shut down to a whisper ; ~

~ Can you hear me ; Can you hear me still ~

I'm coming Bella, we will be together soon and I'll finally be what I should, your guardian angel…

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-Becca,x