So. Here's my first fanfic. Though, I cannot take full credit, because this is based off of a hilarious little comic I saw on deviantART, which I encourage you all to look at here: http :// seijuu . deviantart . com /art/ Push-the - button-Mr -Spock- 138718644

Just take out the spaces and it should lead you there.

So…here ya go. Don't take it seriously, though. It's silly and just for fun. A mixture of in-character and out-of-characterness from Spock.

(PS: for the record, I disclaim Star Trek and I disclaim the idea for this fanfic)


If there was a true fault in Mr. Spock—and not merely a cultural difference such as his cool dismissal of emotion and his brutal use of unfeeling logic—it was that he never could seem to reign in his natural curiosity.

Spock was the science officer upon the Enterprise, and as such, his curiosity was expected, respected, and appreciated. But sometimes, curiosity got the better of him.

One of those times was now.

Spock strode briskly down the hall, making his way for the bridge. His ever observant eyes zeroed in on something small and rectangular lying innocently on the floor in his path. Spock slowed, peering down at it. An eyebrow rising towards his hairline, Spock stooped to scoop it from the ground. He eyed it inquisitively. It was a remote of some sort; that much was very obvious. Three by four inches in size, Spock observed. Dull gray in color, with two crimson buttons screaming out at him, and a little antenna protruding from the top. Under the top button was a label that read simply: SHIRT. Beneath the bottom button, it read: PANTS. It seemed like an illogical invention, but then again, Spock did not know what exactly this remote's function was.

Bemused, Spock read quietly out loud, "Shirt…?" His finger twitched curiously for the top button, but he stopped himself. Blindly activating mysterious devices would be a foolish choice of action. The logical thing to do would be to report his discovery to the captain, and follow his orders accordingly. With just a hint of reluctance, Spock drew his finger away from the button, and he continued on his way. As he walked, he ran over the possible outcomes of his pressing that button. There were no warning labels located on the remote, so was it possible that there was nothing to fear from pressing what he liked? Then again, the device was of unknown origin; Spock had never seen it before, never seen another crewmember use it. But upon closer inspection, Spock found no obvious fingerprints on the surface of the remote. It was smooth and shiny, unblemished by excessive use. There were no scuffs or scratches to indicate that it had been used and dropped, as human were susceptible to do. By all appearances, this device was fairly new. It could very well belong to a crewmember who had recently acquired it. There were no treacherous crewmembers aboard the Enterprise, Spock knew, because he trusted his captain's judgment in employment unquestionably, so if the remote were to belong to a crewmember, then it would not be dangerous.

His reasoning went on like this for the rest of his trip to the bridge, and when he arrived on the turbolift, he had finally decided that pressing a button on the device would not result in anybody's person spontaneously bursting into flames or anything harmful like that. As far as he could tell, this device was safe. Logically, there should be no detrimental effects to pressing one of the buttons.

As Spock continued to study the remote, Chekov nudged Sulu, glancing mischievously over his shoulder at the first officer. Sulu smothered a grin as Chekov composed his expression to a perfect mask of innocence. The Russian turned in his seat to look at Spock.

"What's that you have there, Mr. Spock?" he asked. Spock didn't look up from the device.

"I happened upon this strange device on my way to the bridge," he answered distractedly. "I have hypothesized that it belongs to a crewmember who has misplaced it. However, I am curious as to what it does." He peered at the little remote closely. "Fascinating."

"Well, go on and give it a try," Chekov suggested, making an effort to keep his expression clear. "What harm could it do?"

Spock's hesitation lasted less than two seconds. He gave in to his curiosity and pressed the top red button.

The sound ripping fabric tore through the bridge, and Captain Kirk's exclamation of "Oh!" drew the entire present crew's attention. His uniform shirts—gold Starfleet and black undershirt alike—had suddenly been torn to shreds. Little fragments of black and gold fluttered to the floor, and Kirk looked positively alarmed.

Spock's expression went remarkably blank, though the tips of his ears had gone a bit greener as the captain shot him a shocked look when the crew erupted into loud peals of laughter—Chekov and Sulu's particularly zealous. The slightest bit unsteadily, Spock repeated, "Fascinating."

And he immediately began sorting through the pros and cons of pressing the bottom button.