Author's Note:

Wolf: hey this is my first fic, so please don't murder me. Reviews are great, and I will throw Palpatine into all flames.

Palpatine: Hey!

Luke, Anakin, and Obi-wan: (Ignite lightsabers.)

Palpatine: (Runs and hides inside a girls' restroom.) Good luck getting me now!

Leia: (walks inside restroom with Anakin's lightsaber)

Wolf: Ha ha ha! Oh yeah, I don't own Star Wars, Starbucks, or Frosted Flakes(do I really need to say these things if I only mention them?)


Chapter 1: The Case for Coffee

"Where is it?" an angry voice echoed throughout the halls of the building. Han Solo stormed through the corridor, searching for the culprit a certain horrifying crime. Finally, Han found the quarters of his enemy. Sure, Han had kept cool before, but now he had gone too far.

Han kicked down the door of the room, and found Darth Vader staring right at him. Normally, Han would keep his distance. However, Dear Old Darthy had recently stooped to an all time low. He pulled out his blaster. "All right, your Lordliness, where are they?"

The Dark Lord of the Krething Sith remained in his impassive state. "Where are what?"

Han was now practically growling. "Where are my frappuchinos?"

When the Rebellion and Empire had arrived at this planet called Earth, one of the first places Leia had taken him was called Starbucks. There she had bought Han a fancy contraption called a frappuchino. At first Han had doubted a non-alcoholic drink could be good, but one sip of the frappuchino had Han hooked. He had bought two dozen bottles of each flavor, and had hid them away. Now they had vanished, and all signs pointed to Vader. Han was out for blood.

By now a large crowd had gathered around the two, and it was the strangest group anyone would ever see. Rebels, Imperials, and other people Han had never met were all crowded in one room "What the heck is going on?" he shouted, clearly confused.

Luke stepped forward. "Didn't Wolf tell you?"

"Who's Wolf?"

A Loud *pop* sounded right by Han's side. Now standing next to Han was a dirty blonde teenage girl. "I'm Wolf!" she announced.

Startled, Han attempted to jump into the arms of the nearest person. That person just happened to be Boba Fett, who threw Han into the nearest wall. Both of them pulled out blasters. The room was filled with noisy yelling.

"Hey…hello, can anyone hear me?" Wolf held up a wooden stick. Sparks shot out of it, and a loud *boom* silenced everyone.

"Guns down before I hex you!" Wolf threatened. Wolf liked her new wand. She had found it in her box of Frosted Flakes. What everyone didn't know was that Wolf was still an amateur with it, and didn't know how to use it well. Hopefully they would never find out.

This is where the fun begins…


Author's Note:

Wolf: Well, what did everyone think?

Jayfeather: You seem like a psychopath to me.

Vader: Hey, this isn't your story.

Jayfeather: So what? I'm in it later anyways.

Vader: ……

Wolf: Uhh please review, and the chapters get longer. Most of the good jokes are in all of my other chapters anyways.