Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any profits with this writing.
A/N: This writing was inspired by the fic " Kadaj from irresistible lips" from the author Akito Souma at .
One millions of thanks for beta reading this chapter to the awe BMIK - you rock my world dear!
Sumary: Kadaj, in spite of his past, now was an ordinary teenager, who was dealing with his recent discoveries about life and a little bit naïve concerned about some issues…So there´s no one better suited than his "big brother Cloud" to ask for advice…Smut later...
Chapter 1- Questions
Kadaj entered Cloud's bedroom, slowly and cagey as if the place had some kind of magic spell against baby brother's curiosity. He had knocked more than four times, which meant that Cloud wasn't there.
The pretty boy sighed and pulling his silver fringe behind one ear, he crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his dainty fingers against his chin. He could go down the stairs and chat with Tifa in the bar or he could pull up a chair and wait for Cloud.
He would wait for Cloud, comfortably sitting at his big brother's chair and mentally ordering his hands to not mess with nii-san's papers drawers. It was always a dare when he was alone in some place: to not snoop around others people's stuffs.
Kadaj just couldn't help stay away from his "big brother" and actually, he was needing to talk about a very disturbing issue to him: sex.
Why did he thought of asking Cloud instead of his brothers? Well; first he hated to admit that he had no knowledge about something. But the gentle way that Cloud always treated him, assured Kadaj to not feel ashamed. Second, he was a little bit uncomfortable to talk about sex with Loz and Yazoo, as they had been doing it very often…together. They always did and Kadaj always knew and it never had bothered him. Until now...
He sincerely did not feel it was wrong, it was their way to show love and care for one another. Kadaj also knew that Yazoo and Loz would not share their bonds of love with other people, they didn't get it as well as Kadaj the situation of being introduced to society so suddenly. Although they had not been very clear with Kadaj concerning their sexual life.
It began during their pursuit for Mother and those days were a very confused time for Kadaj and his brothers. Kadaj remembered the first time he had noticed the odd sounds which were coming out of Loz's bedroom.
He thought that Loz was probably needing help to deal with a bad dream, so he opened the door very slowly to not scare him. On that day he learned the lesson: Knock before open any door. Especially if, behind the door, were Yazoo and Loz…
Yazoo was naked. Ok, they didn't have problems with being naked in front of another and Yazoo always said he liked the freedom of no clothes on his skin. He had dressing gowns scattered throughout the house, in case of any surprise visit showing up at the door when he happened to be naked.
Kadaj leaned against Cloud's chair and closing his eyes he began to go over the memories of that day.
The scene was awkward...Loz was naked too. His face was redder than an apple, his breath was short and he was panting.
Yazoo's eyes were partly shut and those " Uh, Uh, Ahn, Ahn" were coming from his mouth, his face was flushed and contorted, his hair was floating in the air, like a silver cascade. He was above Loz's lap, legs at the sides of his elder brother as if he was riding on a horse while his hips bucked forth and backward.
A Loz horse?
Kadaj blinked twice at the scene. Yazoo was going up and down... and each time he was falling upon Loz, the elder brother, was pushing him hard up, and Yazoo groaned those strange little sounds. And as Loz had his strong arms locked on Yazoo's waist, innocently Kadaj thought that Loz was hurting his brother with a kind of " iron hug". Kadaj had seen his brother doing this before, and their enemies were easily broken like that. So he cried out in panic "Stop to hurt him Loz!".
The red faces of his brothers, wide, glowing eyes fixated on Kadaj, made the boy's cheeks burn. Kadaj didn't know what they were doing, but surely they didn't like being interrupted. They quickly shifted positions and sat in the bed, covering their bareness with the blanket and pulling a light smile on their stunned faces. Better saying, Yazoo did that while Loz pulled his hand on his heart and deeply breathed to take air and cool down.
"He is not hurting me Kadaj." Yazoo said expresionlessly, while he combed his hair with his fingers, and glanced at Loz, who was on the verge of shamed tears.
" Why did you moan like that? Why are you guys naked? Why…?" Kadaj still was hanging on the door knob, he was unsure if he wanted to get inside of the room or not…
"We are just…playing." Yazoo tilted his head at Kadaj and gave a nudge with his elbow against Loz's forearm, who flinched in pain.
"Yeah…no hurting Kadaj. Playing, baby brother, just playing as adults. Adult playing." Loz nodded at Kadaj, like if he was trying to soothe the boy and himself.
They remained in silence for a minute that seemed eternal to Kadaj, who was craving for explanations but was totally unwilling to say that he had no idea about what "play" that was. But so as to not show his brothers that he was totally in the dark, he invited himself in to 'play' as well. Loz shook his head, though, and almost shouted an " absolutely no" at Kadaj.
"Didn't you figure it out yet?" Loz asked, confused, and sought help from Yazoo, who now was more interested in undoing the knots in his long locks, than give any explanations.
"What am I supposed to figure out Loz?" Kadaj, poor boy, was intrigued with his own ignorance concerning to this game. How could his brothers know about something that HE had no clue about whatsoever! HE was the leader, was he not?
"Uhn…we are playing with one another…together…adult's play...Do you really mean that you had never heard about what we were doing Kadaj?" Loz, after the huge shame caused by the subject, gave a small smirk. His baby brother was really naïve about some questions …
"Sure I know it Loz!" Kadaj didn't want to give reason to Yazoo or Loz to mock him in the future and so, he said he was aware of something that was becoming more and more puzzling to him.
"So… Are you mad with us?" Yazoo asked putting an end at more questions; while he reached for his robe from the edge of the bed and dressed, not caring to stand up from the bed with his glorious naked body. Kadaj noticed a frown on Loz's face, when the middle brother dressed himself.
" Uhn…No Yazoo. I 'm not." The baby brother lowered his eyes and walked towards the empty chair beside the dresser and sat down in front of his brothers. Kadaj also noticed that the mirror was not in its original place. It was placed in front of the dresser, covering the drawers. But no way he would say a word about another kind of play which involved mirrors that he clearly would have no idea of again!
"Good. I knew you would understand us. So…Do you mind to give us privacy and shut the door? I'll buy you some ice cream before we go to find Mother again. Maybe some more minutes." Yazoo turned his head to Loz, with a malicious smirk on his fleshy lips.
" Kadaj…give us one hour, ok ototou?" Loz blinked at Kadaj and grinned at Yazoo, grabbing his slender waist and pulling him back onto the bed.
"Said that, I nodded at Yazoo and left the room. After that I paid more attention to those moans and grunts and what I found out? It happened almost every night. I was sure they were having sex! But till now I had no idea how they were exactly doing that…And now my body has strange sensations and I can't help it when sometimes my groin aches and I have to touch it for release. Were they doing that? I know that sex makes babies. I know that you have to put a penis in a vagina and –kaboon-, nine months later a new life comes to the planet. But Yazoo doesn't have a vagina…and both surely have a penis…Brother… Are you still there? Ok, so…where was I? Oh, yes, well…But how exactly does this process occur? And I´m worried: how can I do it without making a baby? How do I know if I will like to do it with a boy or girl? Or maybe I don't want to do this but will have to? Or when I do it and it disgusts me ? Or will I never do this? I'm so lost Cloud... I need your advice. I can't talk to anyone else, nii-san. That's why I 'm here."
Cloud shook his head and stared at Kadaj. Kadaj had the power to make Cloud feel dizzy! Not only because he talked non stop, but because of the questions that Kadaj asked Cloud…
The boy's eyes were demanding an answer for his troubles. Since they were not human, with the same parents, and DNA, Cloud, actually didn't know if it should be classified as incest or not. Could Remnants be incestuous?
And what about himself? Kadaj called him brother and nii-san all the time, and now he was getting used to the boy's expression. It was so cute when those lips puckered to call him nii-san… And last but not least, among the entire situation Cloud was feeling he slowly developed a crush on Kadaj.
He complained a little bit when Kadaj invaded his room, messed with his stuff, but he didn't deny that he was always pleased about having the boy around. And when Kadaj wasn't there, Cloud missed him. But they were not relatives. Not at all! People wouldn't call him incestous, maybe only a bit twisted…perv and perhaps pedophile?But Kadaj is not a minor, at least not an ordinary one since his birth was a little bit unusual. He looked like sixteen but maybe he was not. Cloud deeply sighed and began to explain like he was a science teacher, the steps of having sex but felt himself a monster to think about Kadaj's possible he explained everything he knew about condoms and sexual diseases. Kadaj's eyes were getting bigger and bigger the more Cloud was speaking. After a while, they remained in silence. Cloud was resting his mouth, he usually wasn't a talkative person, and Kadaj was assimilating those new informations and thinking about his next question. The real bad one...
" Nii-san…and if I like…a boy ?"
Cloud made a "uhn" that sounded more fainted than it should. He winced in the chair and, sporting a very expressionless face although he was very red, he asked Kadaj if he had met someone special in school, or in the neighborhood or even at the bar. Cloud couldn't help the burning jealousy that ran through his veins. It was so strong that it made him quickly stand up. Kadaj noticed the sudden agitation of Cloud. The blond tossed his head from one side to another as if he was looking for some spot in the room to hide him. He didn't want to hear what Kadaj would say. On the other hand, the boy was very serious, and those huge green eyes were glued at Cloud and they seemed concerned.
"Will you dislike me if I rather prefer to be…well…with boys?"
"Kadaj, I will never stop to like you because of that…or any other thing. Besides, you're not sure because you didn't have a relationship with any gender, yet. In fact you wouldn't be so sure concerning this. It's perfectly normal for people- especially teenagers – to have a crush on someone of the same sex or to notice the attractiveness of someone of the same sex, but that doesn't mean you're gay unless your desires for someone of the same sex is stronger than your desire for the opposite sex. But…did you meet someone?"
Kadaj stood up from the bed and walked towards the window, not daring to look at Cloud in the eye. He was feeling ashamed and regreted to have asked all those silly questions. He could have googled it! Kadaj closed his pretty green eyes and took a deep breath.
" I-I have a crush on someone…not a crush…I guess it is love…"
"How do you know…you're in love?" The burning sensation slapped Cloud's face again. He lowered his head to hide his eyes from Kadaj's sight.
" Because it is intense and I think about him all the time. That's the oddest and most contradictory feeling that I ever had on my life. Sometimes I hate myself because this feeling makes me feel lost…and my body aches in places that I never thought it would ache! I want to stay close to him all day, I need to speak to him all the time!
"So…it's a boy and that's why you wanted to learn about sex…Who is the lucky guy?"
" I-I don't think he's lucky at all...you know what I am, my brothers and those jenova's cells...
Whilst Kadaj chattered about his teenager's low confidence in dating someone, Cloud sadly thought that someone would kiss Kadaj, or already did it with him. Someone would touch that smooth, pale skin and he would smile back for that person. In love. He cursed himself for these thoughts but again he wouldn't show it towards the boy. Oh, but the green monster of jealousy was getting bigger inside of the blond. And the fact that Kadaj had not moved from his spot by the window and just shook his head, made Cloud bite his lower lip till he felt the taste of his own blood.
"Why Kadaj ? You trusted me enough to tell me all about your doubts but you cannot tell me who this…guy is?"
Cloud felt rage and tried to keep control over the emotions in his voice. His cheeks were flushed and he was glaring at Kadaj with narrowed eyes.
Somehow his tone made Kadaj feel scared, the boy turned his body to Cloud with aprehension and crossed his arms around himself as if he was feeling coldness.
" I-I have to go now. Sorry. But thanks a bunch."
Kadaj vanished like a bullet out of the room, leaving behind an astonished Cloud. The blond guy was lost in thoughts, trying hard to guess who this person was, who was stealing his platonic lover and for sure, making him want to know about sex to do it with him! He needed to speak imediately with Yazoo and Loz. Better only Yazoo, Loz semeed very protective and would make a scene about the issue and surely, he would spank the poor guy if he ever found out who he was.
In fact Cloud himself wanted to spank the guy!
That night Cloud tried hard to sleep, but he was still anxious and sad. The truth was, the blond young hero suffered from the guilty feeling of having a crush on a platonic friend and the unresolved sexual tensions... Well but this was so Cloud…he loved tensions. Espeacially the sexual ones...
He was alone in his cold bed, and he heard Tifa's steps on the ladder and quickly shut his eyes. Though weary, his body was in a kind of fever, his thoughts about Kadaj having his first experience with sex was making his groin aches. He was not so used to jerking off as every one of his friends believed. The episode in the church was a mistake, he wasn't jerking off at seeing Vincent Valentine get bathe! He was just curious at how the gunman managed to wash his iron arm! It wasn't his fault either that happened to Barret do the same at same church! And he also had a strange arm...
In a rare moment, Cloud lightly touched the tip of his semi hard cock. Kadaj's huge eyes appeared in his mind and Cloud squeezed his erection, precum smearing his fingers.
He was fully hard now and his cock bounced underneath his briefs.
He focused on Kadaj's giggles and lips, so pretty, pouty, and a moan escaped his mouth when he remembered the boy eating his favorite dessert, ice cream. The small pink tongue flickering over the cream in sensual and slow licks.
" Mnnn…so hot…oh my god…I'm such a perv…" Cloud whispered into the dark room, his hand glided over the base of is throbbing cock and started to stroke it in slow movements. He fantasized that those rosy lips would be sucking and licking his cock, coating his member with saliva while sweetly moaning his name.
He would grab those silky silver hair to make Kadaj's head bob up and down. His breathing was ragged when he thought about Kadaj taking his cock out of his mouth to hit it in his face, making that innocent little face shine with his precum.
Cloud picked up a hard pace and his hand was painfully jerking off his member now, his other hand travelled to his chest to pinch a hard nipple. "Oh...God... yesssss..."
He didn't notice the loud moan he gave when the orgasm shocked his body. His seeds were splashed all over his briefs, hand and it was so strong, that some drops fell on his belly. Some seconds after, he was still feeling the jolts of pleasure, knocks on the door pushed him to reality.
" Cloud? Are you ok?" Tifa was unsure to turn the door knob." I heard noises."
" Yeah I'm fine. Thanks and g-good night." Cloud hissed and tried his best to not shout.
"Ok." Tifa turned back and went to her room, murmuring in a very low voice " Such a wanker".