ok, this is my first time writing a vampire fanfic. or any kind of fanfic. i'd love advice and critique. i do get my tenses mixed up a lot and my p.o.v.s too so just let me know and ill try to fix them. = ] please review thanks! ~ Cherry


I yawned and turned over on my bed. I slowly opened my eyes to see bright red ones staring back at me. Before I could scream a hand clasped over my mouth and I'm pulled out of bed. My mind whirled at 200mph and I thrusted my elbow back hoping to nail my attacker. I missed and I heard an evil laugh. I whimpered and struggled violently. A tounge licked my neck and I felt icy cold breath on my neck.

"Don't scream." Whispered the voice.

All of the sudden I felt fangs dig themselves into my neck and my mouth opened in a silent scream. My heads tilted to the side and I went limp.

"Don't be afraid, I got you." He says again, and my sight goes black before my eyes.

Chapter 1(present)

Next thing I know I'm sitting against a cold and rough stone wall with a thin white summer dress on. My arms are chained above me and it's dark except for a candle sitting on the floor beside me. I start to cry, wondering where I am and why I'm here. Footsteps echo in the chamber and I see a pair of shoes. I look up and see a tall man with a crooked smile. He opens his blood red eyes and kneels beside me.

"Hello dolly. You're going to be my new toy." He winks at me. "You can call me Master Jinx or Master." He has brown hair and stubble. His face seems chisled. You could describe him as a handsome man out of one of those vampire books.

I stare up at him with wide eyes and asked timidly, "W-why am I here?"

He laughs, "I just told you, to be my new toy. What's your name dolly?"

I swallow and a tear springs to my eye again, "R-roxy." My heart's beating fast and I'm breathing hard.

He narrows his eyes, "Do you always stutter like this?" His voice, that wasn't kind in the beginning, isn't getting any nicer now.

I shake my head as if to say no. He pats my head and brings his hand under my chin and pulls my head up. "As long as you do whatever I tell you to, you'll be fine." Then he brings a thin silver necklace out from his pocket and clasps it around my necklace. "That's just to make sure I know where you are. Now take a moment to study that map and then go find the other slaves. You'll be living with them." He smiles meanly and unchains me.

I rub my red wrists and he leaves a map with me before leaving. I open the map up and see a layout of this building, or rather mansion. My heart beat slows down to its normal rate and I sigh in distress. What have I got myself into?

I stand up and stetch. I crack my back and yawn. Taking the candle holder and candle with me I look for a staircase that the map says should be here. Finally I find it and I walk up it slowly. It gets brighter and brighter and soon I don't need my candle. I find a small wooden shelf in the wall and set it down there. When I reach the top of the stairs I open the door and see a brightly lit kitchen. Girls and young women are busy scurrying about making good smelling food and grabbing items. I stare at them with shock and soon one of them takes my arm.

"You're Master Jinx new slave? I'm Meredith, or rather Sir Longwood's slave. He sent me here to find you and take you to your chambers. I hope you'll like it here. It gets hetic but you'll love it. I've been here for, about twenty years." She grins at me. I gasp, she looks like a 12 year old. How could she be 20 or older?! Her dark brown hair glimmers brightly for a moment when she turns her head around to say, "I'll be right back!"

I nod to let her know I am listening. She starts walking with me and brings me out of the kitchen and down a hall. Soon she halts our fast walking and opens a wooden door. Inside is a small room with two bed. Between the two is a desk, chair, and a barred window. "You don't have a roommate. What a shame! Well, I must be going. I hope we get to know each other more!" Before I can say anything in reply, she's gone. I whisper my thanks under my breath and wave good bye to her.

Story and story ideas (C) Me

please dont steal, thanks! 3