Twilight Fright Night One-Shot Contest

Story Title: Things That Go Bump In The Night

Author(s): Risbee and coldplaywhore

Vamp or Human: Human

Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight. We do share a fucked up sense of humor and a lot of flirty lesbian tendencies.


"I swear to God, Alice, you owe me for this. Do you hear me? You. Owe. Me." I pressed the off button on my cell phone and dropped it into one of the bright orange plastic pumpkins I was carrying, still cursing Alice under my breath as I ran down the street chasing three kids in three different directions. They had run from me the moment I picked up the phone, and the last thing I needed tonight was to be declared a negligent babysitter, so of course I reluctantly gave chase. Never again will I agree to take kids trick or treating by myself, especially ones that don't belong to me. Herding blind and deaf sheep would be easier than trying to wrangle these kids… ever.

The three Weber children, Angela and her twin brothers Isaac and Joshua, were tough on a good night. Angela was seven and her brothers were four, so to say they were a handful was an understatement of epic proportions. Add chocolate to the mix and it was like three simultaneous versions of the Mike Meyers hypo-hyper character Philip from Saturday Night Live. Very few people babysat more than once for the Webers', at least not without reinforcements, but I felt obligated. The Webers' had helped Charlie out a bunch after Renee left, so when Charlie heard that they needed a babysitter for a few hours on Halloween night he told them I was available. Remind me to thank him again for that later.

I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of spending the night chasing around kids who were jacked up on sugar, but Alice said she'd help me out and I was looking forward to spending some time with her. We hadn't had a 'girls' night' in a long time, not since before she started dating Jasper. Once Edward and I started officially dating, the time we spent together was even less. It shouldn't have surprised me when Alice and I fell for best friends, since we had been best friends for as long as I could remember.

Alice's annual Halloween Party was the following night and we both figured we could survive one night without the boys. We'd babysit the hellions, watch a movie and then go back and spend the night at my house. It was meant to be a 24-hour boy embargo and I was really looking forward to some alone time with Alice, even if we would mainly talk about Jasper & Edward.

Edward had pursued me all summer and I finally gave in just before school started, since he was such a persistent guy. That and I didn't want anyone else to have him, even if he was a bit annoying at times. He had this scruffy looking thing going for him and I every time I looked at him, I just wanted to run my hands through his untidy bronze hair or stare into his green eyes until every worry in my life disappeared.

I should have made up an excuse when Alice pleaded with me to let her go to some haunted corn maze with Jasper, bringing our night of bonding to an effective halt. I then should have pretended to be sick and cancel on the Webers' when Netflix sent me 'Halloween' instead of 'Clueless' for my movie of the evening. As if...

I definitely should have turned around and driven home in my rusty old truck when I opened the door and saw three characters out of The Wizard of Oz. I would have been fine with Glenda the Good Witch, the Cowardly Lion and The Scarecrow. But no, I had the pleasure of trick or treating with the Wicked Witch of the West and two of her wretched flying monkeys. I'm sorry, I know it's a classic movie and all, but the flying monkeys have always freaked me the fuck out.

What's done is done however, and I breathed a sigh of relief since I knew the hard part was almost over, as I grabbed the twins around their waists and lifted them under my arms like I was carrying two barrels. I started laughing to myself when I thought about the barrel full of monkeys' game and then I wanted to cry out of self-pity and the absurdity of the situation. Swan, you are losing your mind.

"Angela, stop right there. Don't take another step," I yelled out as I saw her trying to head towards the next house which wasn't part of my plan because there was no more trick or treating for this motley crew. "Isaac and Joshua, sit down on the ground and don't you dare move or I will give all your candy away to the next Hannah Montana that walks by." I heard all three of them groan loudly and I briefly wished I had snagged some of Charlie's handcuffs before I left the house that night. Since I was out of luck, I handed all three a piece of their candy just to get them to focus on something other than escaping from my sight. I left them sitting on the curb and walked backwards to get the little red Radio Flyer wagon that I had to abandon in my chase, the entire time also keeping them in my sights. I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Alice just to reiterate my previous message.

You owe me BIG
Alice. - B

I decided to give Angela the important task of pulling the boys in the wagon as we finished the walk back to the Weber house. I had never been so glad to see the white two-story house in all my life and I seriously considered kneeling down and kissing the dirt in the front yard when we finally made our way up the front walkway. All that was left for me to do was get the gremlins inside, get them out of their costumes and into their beds. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already eight o'clock. Only thirty minutes stood between my current hell and my potential heaven.

Once we were safe inside the warm house, I turned on 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown' and took the plastic pumpkins filled with candy to the kitchen for Reverend and Mrs. Weber to go through the following day, as per their request. One by one, I got the kids changed into their pajamas and when the cartoon was over, I gathered them around me on the couch and read them a book. The moment I had finished reading, Joshua tried to get me to read something else, because he claimed he wasn't ready for bed. It didn't work. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but decided to check it later since the most important thing was to get these kids upstairs and into their beds.

After I got the kids in bed and only threatened them with the use of duct tape and chloroform once, I finally made my way downstairs to the living room to relax. I still had a few hours until the Webers' were due home, so I decided to watch 'Halloween' alone. I knew it would scare the shit out of me, but I figured I could always call Edward afterwards and convince him that I needed to be protected. Yeah, protection was what I needed alright, just of a different sort.

I felt my phone vibrate again as a reminder that I had a missed message. When I looked at the screen I smiled when I saw that Edward had sent me a picture of himself with a set of plastic vampire teeth in his mouth. Even with a two dollar novelty in his mouth, he still looked fucking gorgeous. He'd been trying all week to get me to tell him my costume for Alice's Halloween party the next night, but I was determined not to spill the beans. I had worked too hard on it to fuck up the day before the party.

I typed back a quick response, hoping he'd understand I was typing with a 'Dracula accent'.

I vant to suck your…

Before I finished spelling it out, I stopped and thought about it a few minutes. Maybe I shouldn't go there yet. I mean… I wanted to… shit, did I ever want to, but things were still relatively new with us. We joked around about it a bunch, we always had, but I wasn't quite sure if we were at that point yet. I hit delete button on my phone and sat it down.

A few seconds later my phone vibrated again and I laughed because I knew it was from Edward; apparently he was bored tonight.

What do you want to suck? –E

Motherfucker, I had hit send instead of delete. I looked at my small screen mortified and unsure of what the hell to do next. Just as I was contemplating calling Edward to retract what I typed, my phone rang, scaring the shit out of me.


"Oh my god Bella, you so should have come with us to the corn maze. I know it's not your thing and you hate anything scary, but it was so fricking awesome. There were guys with hockey masks and chainsaws and now that I think of it, it sounds really hokey and shitty, but it was fun," gushed Alice as I heard her let out a huge breath of relief. How she could talk so quickly and I still managed to understand her incoherent babble surprised everyone, me most of all.

"I'm glad you had fun Alice, but I am still mad at you for ditching me to deal with the spawns of Satan," I exclaimed as I watched the screen somewhat reluctantly and noticed that the house that Mike Meyers was stalking just happened to look like the Webers'. The covered porch in the front, the picket fence and the white siding was all eerily accurate. I let out a shiver as Alice continued to apologize to me and I just shrugged it off. If I had the chance to hang out with Edward instead of these kids, I would have probably jumped at the chance.

Just as I noticed the lights go off in a house on the screen, I heard a scraping noise outside on the window. What the fuck? "Alice, I need to go. I think there are some kids outside trying to play a prank or something, so I am going to find Reverend Weber's biggest baseball bat and beat the shit out of them."

Alice and I quickly got off the phone as I ran over to the hall closet, knowing full well that was where they kept the baseball bat. I shoved my cell phone in my pocket and stepped outside onto the front porch. Seeing nothing out of place, I headed back into the house, locking the door behind me and that was when I noticed there was a pumpkin on the coffee table that definitely wasn't there when I stepped outside for a second. In fact, hadn't that pumpkin been on the porch when we got home from trick or treating? What the hell was going on?

"This isn't funny," I called out to no one in particular, as I looked back at the TV screen and noticed Mike Meyers stalking across a darkened yard.

Brandishing the bat in my hand, I went upstairs to check in on the kids and was both relieved and terrified when I noticed they were sleeping soundly in their beds. In fact, nothing was disturbed in their rooms and the windows were locked shut. I checked out the rest of the rooms upstairs and found nothing out of the ordinary so I headed back downstairs and almost pissed myself as I noticed that the front door was wide open. Hadn't I closed that and locked it when I got back into the house?

Now that I was officially spooked, I shut and locked the door again and then made my way to the back of the house ever so slowly, checking every single room as I went to make sure there was no one in the house. I knew enough self defense maneuvers from my gym class to be able to incapacitate someone, but I would probably injure myself severely in the process since I wasn't the most graceful person on the face of the planet. Why the hell was I even thinking about this, there was nothing going on, I tried to reassure myself to no avail.

The last room I checked out was the kitchen and sure enough, the back door was unlocked. I hadn't checked the house before we left trick or treating since Reverend and Mrs. Weber had still been home when I headed out with the little sugar fiends. Who the hell would try to torment the Reverend's house? Don't they know they will be struck down by god for messing with one of his people?

I locked the door and just as I was about to make my way back to the living room and return the pumpkin to its location out on the porch, I heard a small noise coming from the pantry. I clutched the baseball bat tightly in my hands and tentatively moved forward as my shaking hand clutched the door knob and I mustered up all the courage I had. I hoped to god there wasn't some crazy murderer in a powder white mask hiding in the pantry with a battle axe or something.

I threw open the door and stood there with my bat raised high in the air, ready to make contact with the skull of whomever the fuck was in the room.

"Jesus fuck Bella, put the bat down," shouted Edward as I wretched my arm forward and his hand thankfully grabbed the bat mid air.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" I shouted out angrily as I backed away from him, my blood literally boiling at the fact that he had proceeded to torment me for the past ten minutes. I was two seconds away from calling Charlie and having him send over a fucking cruiser and some half assed deputy to check on me.

"I missed you," he said somewhat remorsefully and I couldn't help but offer him a small smile, even though I was clearly pissed at him. He stepped out of the pantry and looked at me sadly before putting the bat, which he had taken from me, on top of the kitchen counter. "Jasper ditched me to go to some stupid ass corn maze with Alice, so I figured I would see what you were up to. Your last text left me a little… curious."

I raised my eye brow questioningly at Edward as I recalled the embarrassing half text I had sent him not that long ago. "You were already here when I texted you, weren't you?" I inquired and he nodded his head. "I meant to hit delete and not send just so you know." I was trying to back track slightly and cover my ass but Edward wasn't having any of it.

"So you didn't want to suck something of mine?" he asked pathetically as he then grabbed a handful of candy from one of the pumpkin baskets and headed into the living room, acting as though he was lived here.

"You do realize you are stealing candy from a child right?" I scolded him as he laughed and tossed a bunch of M&M's in his mouth.

"Like they will notice two packs of M&M's and a small bag of Twizzlers are missing. You are avoiding the question Bella," he said as he sat down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table, effectively moving the pumpkin he had tormented me with aside to make room for his oversized feet.

"Fine. Yes, I wanted to suck something, but now I don't because you are a fucking idiot and came here to scare me. I was seconds away from calling the cops you know. You could have been arrested. What would Doctor Daddy say when he bailed your cute ass out of jail?" I questioned him, hoping he would get off the topic of what I wanted to suck. Edward and I might have been fairly new to the dating thing, but we had known each other for almost our entire life so the connection was very easy between us.

"You think my ass is cute?"

"I think everything about you is cute," I remarked simply as I sat down beside him on the couch and he draped his arm casually over my shoulder and we turned back towards the movie that was still playing.

"I thought you hated scary movies so why the fuck are you watching Halloween?" he inquired as I felt his fingers rub aimlessly against my shoulder in a soothing manner. What was he talking about again? Oh yeah, the movie.

"The stupid asses at Netflix sent me this instead of 'Clueless', which was what Alice and I had picked out for our non-existent girls night in," I explained as I leaned into him slightly, resting my head on his chest.

"You should have called me when Alice cancelled on you. I could have helped with the kids. Rosalie refused to baby sit for them earlier this year, since they were such a handful. Then again, they did hide outside while playing hide and seek with her and she thought for over an hour that she lost them," he said with a laugh. Rosalie was his sister and she was two years older than us and had headed off to college with her boyfriend just two months ago. Decision

"I had forgotten about that," I laughed and then did a silent thank you that they hadn't pulled a stunt like that on me tonight. I swear Charlie volunteered me in hopes that tonight would serve as a form of birth control.

"I did actually think about calling you to come help me with them, but then thought that adding you to the mix would only make things harder."

Edward started laughing like Beavis and Butthead and I sat up and looked at him for a minute until I realized what I just said. I reached over and punched him in the shoulder. "Oh my god, what are you, twelve? You just totally proved my point."

I don't know if it was the insinuation that he was immature or what, but Edward got this look in his eye, like I had laid down some sort of gauntlet. Seeing that look in his eye sent a chill through my body and I instantly felt myself grow wet. How the fuck did him just looking at me get me horny?

"I think you know I'm not twelve, Bella. If you don't believe me, maybe I should prove it to you," said Edward as he growled and damn if that wasn't the hottest fucking thing he had ever done. Gone was the casual laid-back Edward I'd known for years and in his place was a confident and sexually aggressive guy that I had only dreamed about. Whatever hesitation I felt about where we stood in our relationship melted away at that point and I knew we were going to cross a pretty significant line tonight.

He pulled me over on top of him until my legs were straddling his hips. His lips crashed into mine and I wove my fingers into his chaotic hair and pressed into him like I needed him to survive. Edwards' hands wrapped around my waist and lingered on my lower back, his thumbs skimming the waistband of my low-rise jeans, making me shudder. His mouth grew more insistent, so I opened up and ran my tongue over his bottom lip before sucking it in my mouth and biting down gently.

I could feel his arousal pressed into the underside of my upper thigh and felt his subtle thrusting motions as he attempted to dry hump me, which was something we had done on occasion before, in the heat of the moment. Those simple and subconscious motions almost sent me over the edge and I knew then what I wanted to do - I wanted to taste him. I needed to taste him.

Reluctantly, I pulled my lips from his and climbed off his lap. I walked over to the front door to check that the door was really locked and then I stopped at the bottom of the stairs to briefly check for any sounds from upstairs before returning to Edward and leaning down to whisper in his ear.

"Let's play the quiet game, Edward. Do you think you can win?"

I wasn't sure exactly where my new found confidence was coming from, but the look on Edward's face only spurred me on. I grabbed a throw pillow from the sofa and tossed it in front of me as I knelt down between his legs. I traced my hands down his chest, feeling his abs contract under my touch. I wanted to explore his body and learn every inch of it, but I knew that would have to wait until we were somewhere else, not in the Webers' living room. Still, I knew that we had at least a couple of hours until they came home and that was plenty of time for what I wanted to do right now.

"I'm not kidding Edward. If you wake up the flying monkeys, I'll have to stop. You don't want me to have to stop, do you?" He shook his head in the negative and I found myself loving the power that I had over him right now.

I unbuttoned his jeans and motioned for him to lift up so I could maneuver them down, leaving him in a pair of black boxers…with bright orange pumpkins on them. I looked up at him and cocked any eyebrow in amusement as I somehow managed to keep my composure. Edward just shrugged his shoulders indifferently before he mouthed 'quiet game' and motioned with his hand for me to continue. Cheeky.

I ran my palm along his cloth covered length a few times until I noticed his hands clinching and unclinching the couch cushions, his knuckles turning white with each motion. This may be easier than I thought.

"These are super sexy and all," I said nodding to his boxers, "but they have to go. Now." Edward gave me a sly smirk and lifted his hips from the couch as I shimmied his boxers down to his ankles.

Once he was naked from the waist down, I finally got a good look at his cock and I was not disappointed - well, not that I had much to compare him too. Aside from movies and text books, this was the first real and in person one I'd seen and it was honestly a little intimidating. I spent a few minutes just tracing my fingers up and down his shaft exploring and learning the shape and feel of him.

I closed my hand around him, slowly moving it up and down, circling my thumb around the tip when I reached the top, I began gathering some of the moisture that collected there between passes. I tried to project the notion that I knew what I was doing, but admittedly this was all uncharted territory to me. Edward leaned back and rested his head on the back of the sofa, both his hands still clenching pillows at his side. I wanted those hands in my hair, I needed him to guide me and tell me what he wanted. I was determined to do this, but we were going to do it together.

"What do you want, Edward. What do you want me to do?"

"Harder Bella, wrap your hand around me harder." He brought his right hand over and covered mine, squeezing until he felt the right amount of pressure. After a few more passes, he eased his hold, but kept his hand over mine. He was guiding me, but letting me take the lead and it was totally fucking hot.

Suddenly all my nervousness went out the window, and I leaned over and flicked my tongue over the head of his shaft. Edward jerked his head off the back of the sofa and I heard a gasp come from his lips. His eyes met mine and I smirked as I saw the complete elation on his face.

"Bella, don't tease."

"No tricks tonight Edward, just treats," I said before opening my mouth and taking him in slowly. I started to bob my head up and down, small movements at first, gradually increasing the depth I allowed him. I wrapped one hand around the part of his shaft that I couldn't fit in my mouth and then I used my other hand to gently massage and caress his balls. The moan I heard rumble through his body just confirmed that I was doing the right thing.

I kept a pretty steady pace, sometimes hollowing out my cheeks, sometimes just running my tongue up the underside of his shaft before swirling it around the head, before closing my mouth around him and plunging back down. I loved the power I had over him. Edward moved both hands to my hair and started to guide my pace. I could tell he was getting close by the tightness of his fingers in my hair and his labored breathing. I looked up at him and caught him watching me, his eyes so dark they looked black instead of green. He was mouthing words, intent on staying quiet, but still needing an outlet. It was one of the most intense things I had ever seen.

Then suddenly, his hands tried to make me stop, but I wasn't going to quit now. I minutely shook my head and hummed "nom nom nuh uh." Whatever it took to make him realize that I was not moving. Apparently the vibrations were a hit, because he closed his eyes and released into my mouth. I swallowed, earning another groan from Edward before I removed him from my lips.

"That. Was. Amazing." he said, punctuating every word with a kiss. I reached over and grabbed his boxers and jeans, handing them to him to put on when he had adequately recovered. He looked like a wet noodle. Fuck yeah, Swan. You totally kick ass!

"What time is it?" Edward asked fumbling for his phone in his pocket before finding it and starting to send a text.

"Um, around ten thirty I think. Why?"

"Jasper wanted me to let him know what we were doing tonight, so I thought I'd let him know what we did." He turned his body away from me and continued to punch the little buttons on his cell phone.

"The hell you are," I said trying to grab the phone out of his hands as he held it out of my way. I didn't manage to grab the phone, but I did manage to find myself wrapped around his body once again. Hmm… maybe a bit of humiliation was worth it if it meant I got to stay like this for a little while. He may have gotten off, but it didnt escape my notice that I was still wound up like a spring.

"Jeez, calm down Bella. I was just fuckin' with you. All he wanted to know is when we'd be free to meet up with them and I said probably around midnight? Does that sound right? Apparently Alice feels guilty for bailing on you. Personally, I think it was her best decision ever...," he said trailing off and looking a little glossed over.

"Midnight… four in the morning… whenever..." I answered rolling my eyes and shifting around on his lap trying to find some kind of friction. My earlier elation at my new found skills were now dead and gone, overtaken by pure and simple horniness.

Finally, I gave up and flung myself off his lap and the sofa in a huff. I started to pilfer through the kids' candy looking for something hard and/or chewy to take out my aggression. Almond Joy, nope. Blow pop -- absolutely not Now or Later -- later, apparently. Tossing all the candy back in the pumpkin bucket, I turned around and came face to face with Edward. Before I could scoot around him he had me pinned to the counter between his arms and an evil smirk on his face.

"Something got your panties in a knot, Bella?" He whispered in my ear. "You seem a little...tense." I closed my eyes and didn't say anything, but waited for him to continue. "You know," he said as his hands left the counter and started moving up and down the sides of my body tracing a path of fire from just underneath my breasts to just below my waist, "I'm willing to help you with that..." His fingers moved to trace the front of my hips along the pockets of my jeans and I shivered in response. "...if you want me..."

Oh Sweet Jesus did I ever.

He grabbed my hand and led me from the kitchen, stopping in the living room only to grab the same throw pillow I had knelt on earlier. He led me to the stairs and up the first set of them until we got to the landing where he threw it on the floor and nodded for me to sit. Then he slid me forward until my feet were set on the first step down.

He kneeled down in front of me and started fingering the button on my jeans. He didn't say a word at first, just locked his eyes with mine until he slowly started to count as he released each button. "One...two...three...four..."

Once all the buttons were undone, he slowly slid my jeans off my body, leaving me in only my black lace panties and my orange and black striped knee socks, which I wore specifically for Halloween.

I felt him gently nudge my legs open with his hands and let them fall to each side. His fingers once again traveled my body starting at my left ankle, before moving up and skimming across my cloth covered pussy and causing me to inhale sharply before lowering down my right leg. He started to repeat his path, but stopped right where I wanted… no… needed him the most. His touch was so light that I wasn't completely convinced he was making contact and yet so intense that I thought I might not survive. He slipped his fingers inside the black lace and caressed them up and down my lips, and when he gently touched my clit, I let out a loud moan.

"Uh uh uh Bella," he leaned up to chastise in my ear, "remember what you told me. You wake up the flying monkeys and I'll have to stop, and you really, really don't want me to stop Bella. Trust me." He flicked my earlobe with his tongue before moving back down my body and removing my panties before putting my legs over his shoulders. I leaned back on my elbows and watched, determined to be quiet.

Edward nuzzled me with his face and the stubble on his face was both torturous and stimulating at the same time. Hearing my gasp, he looked up and chuckled quietly, the vibrations making my toes curl within my festive socks. Keeping his eyes focused on mine, he opened his mouth gave me one long lick. I bit down on my lip and closed my eyes, feeling my hips jerk up toward him, wanting more.

My fists clinched at my sides and I was torn between the desire to watch him lick me and the desire to latch on to his hair and press him closer to me. His tongue swirled and moved creating sensations and heat within me. I leaned my head back and moaned, flying monkeys be damned. He slowly pushed one finger inside me, then another, his tongue focusing on my clit and I never wanted him to stop. Ever.

I could feel the heat of his breath and he was mouthing words that I could not hear and it was driving me, pushing me, barreling me towards the edge of ecstasy. Just when I thought I would lose my mind, he took my clit in his teeth and gently bit down as he simultaneously curled his fingers up inside of me. I was gone.

My elbows gave out and I collapsed on the stair landing as Edward took one swiping pass over my pussy and my whole body contracted from his touch. I felt Edward crawl out from between my legs and hover over my body, but I was too exhausted to move. I couldn't come up with the words, everything sounded too cliche, so I did the only thing I could do to express how I felt. I raised my arms to run my fingers through his auburn hair, pulled him to me, and attacked him with my lips.

"Do you realize we just defiled Reverend Lovejoy's house?" laughed Edward when I finally released him from my grip and I tried to catch my breath.

"His name is Weber, not Lovejoy doofus," I said as I smacked him upside the head and reached for my panties. I reluctantly stood, my legs a little wobbly in the aftermath of my orgasm and then I re-dressed just as we heard a loud bang coming from the kitchen at the back of the house. On first instinct, I ran upstairs and slowly opened the kids rooms, relieved to see all three of them were still passed out cold.

Edward then raced down the stairs, with me close on his heels, and we were both obviously tentative about going into the kitchen, but Edward seemed to want to protect me, which was both cute and sexy. "Stay here, I'll go see what is going on," he stated as he put his hand on my chest and my breathing became labored again. Fuck, he was sexy as hell.

I nodded my head and reluctantly waited in the living room as Edward went to check out the noise. He came back a few minutes later, shrugging his shoulders. "Everything looks normal in there." Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his head into my shoulder as a bright bolt of lightning lit up the living room, followed by a loud and shocking clap of thunder, making the power go out.

"Fuck me," I groaned as I tried to get myself from Edward's grip and get one of the candles from the mantel, but Edward had other ideas as I was suddenly pressed against the back of the couch, his erection firm against my ass.

"Since you asked nicely," he said as his finger dipped into the waistband of my jeans and he was about to tug them down when we both heard loud footsteps in the kitchen, scaring the fuck out of us. I refused to let go of Edward's hand and he pulled me into the kitchen with him to investigate. I recalled that the Webers' kept a flashlight on top of their fridge but as I went to grab it, I accidently knocked over a few things from the top, which clattered loudly against the floor, surprising Edward and I again.

"You do realize there is nothing out there right? We are just driving ourselves nuts," stated Edward as I shook my head from side to side. I wasn't sure of that at all actually. I flipped on the flashlight and moved it slowly across the room trying to check each and every surface.

As I moved it across the kitchen window, Edward and I both jumped in surprise and I let out a little squeak. There was a set of eyes staring back at us and I immediately moved my body behind Edwards' and thrust the flashlight into his hand. I cowered as I watched him move the flashlight back towards the window and settle on the calico cat that was currently perched on the windowsill.

"Little fucker," I cursed loudly as Edward chuckled at me for a few minutes, bending at the waist as his laughter overtook him. "Shut up. I hate cats and this just reinforced it all for me. Kittens are okay because they are cute and cuddly, but once they get bigger, I think they all are plotting to kill me."

Edward continued his laughter as he snaked his arm around my waist and led me back into the living room. Just as we were about to sit down, I noticed the floor by the front door was a bit wet. I grabbed the flashlight from Edward and turned it towards the ground, revealing it a muddy footprint. "Okay, that is it. This is way too fucking freaky. Can you please go look around?"

Edward kissed my temple as he left me in the living room and stepped outside to look around the house. While he was gone, there was another flash of lightning and a loud boom of thunder, which made me jump where I stood. I had never been this scared of anything before in my life, but with all the eerie coincidences and the fact that it was Halloween, I was literally scared to death.

"Everything seems alright outside. It's starting to rain a bit, but otherwise it's fine. Some kids TP'd the house down the street, like four doors down on the other side of the road," Edward said with a laugh as he put the flashlight down on the table and pulled me over to sit with him on the couch. Edward's hands were tight around my waist as he pulled me onto his lap and buried his face in my neck again. Unfortunately, for his obvious erection, I was still on edge.

"Do you think the kids that toilet papered the McCarthy house are tormenting us?" I asked nervously as Edward pulled back from leaving a hickey on my neck and looked at me a little disappointed. "How did the muddy shoe print show up?"

"No Bella, I don't think we are being tormented. It's probably from my own shoe. This isn't some fucking cheesy ass horror movie," he said fiercely as he motioned his hand to the TV screen that was now black because of the power outage. I shuddered, remembering the bits of the movie I had watched earlier and buried my head into Edwards' neck. "I think I know of something that could take your mind off of everything Bella."

"Would it involve me getting the fuck out of this death house?" I asked with a morose laugh.

"No, but it involves you getting out of those pants again," he replied firmly as he gripped my ass in his strong hands and my cell phone suddenly went off. "Jesus fuck, who the hell is cock blocking me?" shouted Edward as I put my finger over his mouth and reached for my cell phone on the end table. I looked at the small screen and showed Edward that it was Alice calling.

"Hi Hon, what can I do for you?" I asked calmly, even though I was fuming inside because she interrupted whatever Edward had in store for us.

"Bella, I can't find Jasper. We were together at the corn maze and I turned around after walking down one aisle and he was gone. I tried his cell phone but I kept getting voice mail." Her voice was frantic and I jumped off of Edward's lap as I began pacing around the room, hitting the coffee table a few times with my shin in the dark. Alice began to cry and I officially lost my shit.

"Edward is here with me and I am going to send him to the corn maze to come get you. You should call my dad Ali, he can help and maybe send one of his officers out there to look for Jazz," I stated firmly as Edward stood from the couch and looked at me as a car passed along the street and I could see that his eyes were wide and he took looked concerned for his best friend.

"Okay Bella, we're down at the Wilson's Farm on the fifth side road. I've mentioned it to a few people here at the farm that he was missing, but no one seems to give a shit," she said sadly and my heart broke for her.

"I wish I could come down and help you, but I still have those damned monkeys to worry about," I said remorsefully. Alice reassured me that she would be alright as she waited for Edward and I hung up from my call with her, walking with Edward towards the front door. "Are you sure you will be alright?"

"I think I can handle driving to Wilson's. My car is parked around the corner, so I will go grab it and then head to find her and Jazz. Leave your cell phone on alright?" he said sweetly as I opened the front door and the light from the moon lit up the porch. Edward put his hand firmly on my cheek as we stood outside and he leaned in to kiss me. "How did I get so lucky to end up with you?"

"I don't know. I think it was just a stroke of brilliance on my part that I finally gave in," I replied with a laugh as I noticed something move out of the corner of my eye. The Weber's had a fake scarecrow in a lawn chair on the front porch and it had tons of hay in the sleeves and legs. There were several houses in the neighborhood that had the exact same thing and they thought they were being inventive, but rather it was kinda cliché.

There was a small rustle again and I just chalked it up to the cat coming around again as I kissed Edward sweetly on the lips as his thumb moved against my cheekbone resulting in a small moan from me.

Wait. I didn't moan.

Edward pulled back from me and we both looked at each other a little confused. Suddenly, the rustling noise got louder and as I looked to the left, the scarecrow began to move ever so slightly while groaning and I jumped up and shrieked louder than I ever had before.

"Jesus fuck," I yelled out as I basically flung Edward in front of my body to protect me. I then grabbed his arm and ran inside the house, tugging him along with me as the scarecrow slowly made his way towards the front door.

I flipped the lock closed and went to shut the drapes when Edward grabbed my arm and turned me around. There in the middle of the Weber's living room were all of their kitchen knives, meticulously laid out on the coffee table. "Ok, that's it. I'm getting the fuck out of dodge," I called out loudly. "Go wake the kids, we're leaving."

I peeked out the front drapes and there was no sign of the freaky fucking scarecrow, so I decided not to wake the kids just yet. I handed Edward the flashlight and he flipped it on as we went to go see that the back door was indeed locked. As we walked into the kitchen, Edward and I picked up the items I had dropped earlier from the top of the fridge and put them on the island. We then made out way towards the mud room where their door to the backyard was.

Edward jiggled the handle on the door to confirm that it was indeed locked and just before we were about to turn around, I felt a scratchy sensation along my arm. My first thought was that the madness had woken one of the kids, but when I turned around there was the freaking scarecrow mother fucker.

"Holy Fuck!!" I yelled out as I fumbled with the door knob to let myself out and tears began to stream from my face. Edward was just as insistent as I was to get out of the Weber House of Doom, but he was a bit calmer than I was.

Just as I tossed open the back door to make a run for it, there stood Alice looking positively elated at what was happening before her. Of course, my main concern was Alice all of a sudden and not the freak show that seemed to be trying to kill me. I ran towards her, oblivious of her laughter, and hugged her tight as I tried to pull her away from the house and the crazed psycho that was within it. "Did you find Jazz?" I implored her as she bit down on her lip to keep from laughing. I had almost gotten Alice around the side of the house when I heard more noise behind me; this time is was a familiar laugh.

"You have got to be shitting me," called out Edward loudly from behind me. I turned around to see him and instead came face to face with Jasper, who was in the process of moving the mask from his scarecrow costume. Edward suddenly ran towards Jazz and pushed him to the ground, smacking him about the face and chest. "You are a complete fucking asshole Jasper Whitlock."

"What is this fuckery? It's like we are unmasking Old Mr. Whitlock who has been fucking with the kids from Scooby Doo," I called out as more laughter rang through the dark night. I spun my head back around and noticed Alice was now curled up in the fetal position on the ground laughing her head off. "You are a dirty, dirty whore Alice Brandon," I cursed at her as I stalked closer and helped her off the ground. "You do realize that I don't get mad I get even right?"Alice didn't look frightened at my threat but had at least stopped laughing.

"Bella, I think that these two idiots should make up for what they have done."

"What do you have in mind babe?" I asked of Edward as I moved closer to him and wrapped my arm around his waist. It was starting to rain a little harder and I was relieved that the Weber's back porch was slightly covered.

"Well, I'm all for waking up the monkeys, filling them full of sugar and leaving them under the watchful eye of these two fucktards, what do you say?" Without a second thought, I ran into the house and grabbed the buckets of candy and some drinks from the fridge as I sprinted upstairs, waking the twins first, who were more than eager to help out. I even offered them both a can of Red Bull before bringing them back down into the living room where Alice and Jasper were waiting, looking pretty fucking livid.

Edward had ran down the block to get his car and when I headed out onto the lawn, he was already waiting for me with the car idling. I hopped into the passenger seat and leaned in to kiss him.

"Now what do we do?"

"I was thinking we head out towards Wilson's Farm, get lost on a back road and make out like crazy. Interested?"

"Is there any chance we will get tormented by a mass murderer?" I inquired as I raised my eye brow and Edward leaned in to kiss my lips passionately, his tongue moving against my bottom lip sensually. Ah fuck it, I don't care. I'll do just about anything to be with him again. "Let's go."