Title: cows with guns
Author: Araine
Characters: Marco and the other Animorphs (sans Ax)
Rating: PG
Notes: Go watch one of the thousands of videos with the Dana Lyons song Cows With Guns, if you don't know it. I promise, they're amusing. And this will make a lot more sense. Written for a prompt at the comment_fic community on livejournal.

"You don't realize how absolutely insane this is. I mean, we're already a bunch of kids fighting off an alien invasion against impossible odds, but I don't see how we can do this mission."

Marco, member of the Animorphs, played with a piece of hay between his fingers, surveying his other - much crazier, in his opinion - animal-morphing, alien-fighting friends. Jake. Cassie. Rachel. Tobias, a sharp-eyed hawk in the rafters.

"We don't have much choice, Marco," Jake, the de-facto leader said.

Marco sighed. "I mean, how are we even going to get in there? There's nothing around but farmland - are you saying we morph cows and just stroll up? A cow isn't going to do us much good when they have dracon beams and Hork-Bajir and who knows what else up there. I hate to tell you this, but cows can't exactly pack an Uzi."

Cassie's large brown eyes stared right into his. Marco felt suddenly uncomfortable - like she was weighing his morals and found him lacking. "We can't just let this chance slip by. Besides, what they're doing out there-"

"Oh, yes, our personal quest to save the rainforest, make everyone a vegan, and care for every single hurt animal that comes our way," Marco said sarcastically. "We should have our own theme song - 'We will fight for bovine freedom and hold our large heads high. We will run free with the buffalo, or die!'"

Cassie shot Marco a dirty look for his sarcasm. He grinned at her.

Rachel shrugged, and pushed back her long, near-perfect blonde hair. "I say we should do it. It's a good chance to do some real damage - we don't get many chances like this very often."

She did have a point, Marco reflected. Still, he wasn't going to give up so easily.

"OK, Xena, tell me this - when we're sitting there surrounded, and they're ready to make us into tomorrow's happy meals, who is going to come save us? Chickens in choppers?"

Jake grinned. "Exactly," he said.

Marco didn't want to know if he was joking or not.