A/N: HELLO ALL! :) This is my first Twilight fanfiction, and although this is only the first chapter, I hope you like it and where I am going with this. Yeah.. it's a lot shorter than how long my chapters usually get, but I needed this beginning and had to keep it somewhat short so you guys could get the gist of the story :)
I know there is only Edward/Bella in this chapter, but it will be an eventual Bella/Carlisle. He will make his first appearance in the next chapter! I'm making the pairing very clear because I have had people not want to read my stories or stopped reading them in the middle simply because they didn't like the pairing! :P
This story takes place sometime after New Moon but before Eclipse, and the story is written as if Eclipse never happens.
SO, even if this isn't a pairing you usually read or even like all that much, please give my story a shot! I'll appreciate it lots! AND reviews make me so very happy! PLEASE PLEASE tell me whether I should continue or not! I adore feedback!
Now that that is out of the way, time to get reading! :)
I was never one to break all the rules. To disregard them and not give a damn about who I was hurting or whether I was right or wrong. The humanity in you always gives you a subconscious feeling in the pit of your stomach and it works like a conscience…telling you to stop what you're doing because it's dead wrong. I don't have that feeling; I don't feel human. My heart still beats, and my lungs still expand and retract with oxygen but I feel less human each day. How could I be so selfish? How could a human like me, be so cruel?
Only one thing could cause havoc this mighty. Love. And I had fallen prey to its keen sting.
I blink back tears and pull myself together because crying will make me look stupid right now. He's coming back this time, he's not leaving me forever. Then why does the shadow of the punched hole in my heart have this constant dull ache? He loves me. Edward loves me…he'd never leave me again. Not like the first time, anyway.
"When are you coming back?" My controlled voice sounds shaky, even to my human ears. Edward frowns at me. I know if I asked, he'd stay…but why should I be so desperate? I have an urge to grasp his hand, but I control it.
"I told you, love. We'll be as quick as we can. As soon as the job's done, I'll be back at your side."
He smiles genuinely at me, and my heart seems to skip a beat altogether. How could one person be so beautiful? I am temporarily stunned, and can't seem to form a coherent sentence. His smile changes into a smirk, and although he can't read my mind, I know he finds my comparison of him to a Roman God quite amusing. I'm not sure how a girl like me, looking the way I do, could measure standing next to someone like him. I reel my thoughts back in.
"Still, Edward. How long do you think?"
He sighs. "I'm not sure…maybe a week?"
The place in my chest where the hole used to live aches again and my hand flies to my heart. I can't think of him being away for so long from me. I need him here, with me. I take a deep, measuring breath.
"Okay. That's fine."
I can tell by his expression that he knows I think it most definitely is not 'fine', but he doesn't say anything, and just pulls me into his cold, hard chest. I breathe in his scent, and promise myself I will not forget it, not until he is back in my arms like this. He stays still and strong, letting me have my fill of him. I can feel is cold cheek against the top of my head.
"You know that I love you more than anything, right? That I would never plan to or leave you indefinitely again? I promise I'm coming back, Bella. I don't want to go, but I have to. I wish I could be with you, wrapped around you like this every second of every day. I wish I could stay…"
I was making this so hard for him. Time to play my part a little more convincingly. I forced a smile.
"I know, Edward. I trust you. But you have to do what you have to, and who am I to stop you? Go. Don't worry about me. Just keep your cell phone close, and I'll keep contact."
His expression didn't change.
"You're not that great of an actress, Bella… I want to stay here with you as much as you obviously want me to. But still, thank you for saying that, love."
He hadn't bought it. Sighing, I looked into his deep, golden eyes and this time I spoke to him truthfully.
"Edward…I am scared of being left alone again, I think I always will be. But I love you, and I know you love me and that you would never hurt me again. I can survive a week, Edward. It'll keep me going to know that in seven day's time, you'll be with me again. You go, and you do what you have to."
Edward squeezed me tighter to his chest, but not enough so that it hurt. One of his hands came up and ran through the length of my hair. It was soothing, my eyes closed and my breathing became in tune with his strokes of my hair. His coldness seeped through my skin and down into my bones, but it felt good. It felt like home. I sighed in happiness. He chuckled quietly, and I felt the rumbles in his chest against my ear.
I broke the silence. "Maybe next time something like this comes up, and you've changed me…maybe I can come with you?"
His hand froze, and Edward's body became rigid. I groaned, preparing for the dramatics.
I rolled my eyes. He was trying to untangle himself from me, but I held onto the front of his shirt and raised my head to look him in the eyes.
"Because… I'm not changing you, Bella."
Annoyance surged through me. It was my life, and I wanted to be a vampire. Just like him and the other Cullens, and the Denalis. Edward thought I sought after immortality obsessively without understanding what it truly meant and what I was giving up. But I knew, and I wanted it so bad. Edward just wasn't going to give it to me.
I growled at him and opened my mouth to speak, when he cut me off. He looked wary.
"Bella, honey, please. I'm leaving tonight. Let's not ruin these few hours together."
I seethed. "I'm not ruining anything, but fine. When you get back, then."
He closed his eyes for a moment as though he was trying to compose himself, and then opened them along with his arms. I was still a little angry and annoyed, but I wrapped myself in his arms yet again and he carried me to my bed, where I curled against him. He resumed the stroking of my hair, and soon enough my eyes seemed to get heavier.
I didn't let myself sleep. I wouldn't miss another minute with him, and I found myself talking to keep myself awake.
"So, all of you are going then?" I mumbled sleepily.
He chuckled at my apparent attempt at staying awake and answered in a gentle voice.
"No, Carlisle is staying back for work, and Esme with him. Rosalie is staying too, she didn't want to go. It's just Emmett, Alice, Jasper and me."
"…Oh. Maybe I'll visit Carlisle and Esme while you're gone. I haven't seen them in a while."
I felt Edward smile. "They'd like that. Esme was just asking about you yesterday."
I smiled too, and raised my chin to capture his lips in a kiss. He kissed me back enthusiastically, and then, just like always, he pulled away, muttering about controlling himself around me. I decided not to comment on the fact that if I was a vampire too, he wouldn't need to be so careful with me all the time. We lapsed into silence again and this time the sleepiness was too thick and overbearing to ignore. I drifted away and I felt Edward uncurl himself from me.
Cold lips pressed against my temple. "Sleep well, Bella. I love you."
I heard the window creak open from seemingly very far away, and whether it was the wind that rushed past my window, or Edward and his siblings, I couldn't tell. I was too far gone into a world of peace and sleep.
That night I dreamed of Edward sitting by my bed all night, just like the first night I asked him to stay. It was so real, that when I awoke, I almost expected him to be there. My tired eyes swept the room for my loving vampire, but I found nothing but my strewn possessions and the colored walls of my room. My heart fell.
Day one, here we go.
Hope you liked this so far! PLEASE review! :)